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Chapter 2

Clare's POV

Two weeks ago I would have never thought I would be where I am today. Here I am, sitting in Eli Goldsworthy's now clean as ever room, on his bed, holding up the lingerie. Yeah same one I wore when Jake and I almost had sex.

I sighed and fell back on the bed, closing my eyes. This is a big decision I am making, but it feels so right.

Eli came back to his room, holding a bowl of cheese popcorn. He sat the bowl on the bed beside me as I sat up and gave him a smile.

"I must say, hotel Eli really knows to make me feel at home." I grabbed some popcorn and ate it.

Eli climbed onto the bed, settling down next to me. "Hey, it anything but under 4 stars." He took my hand in his placing a gentle kiss on my knuckles. "So, ready for a little blood, guts, and tears?"

I smiled small and turned my head downward. "I want to ask you something."

Eli's face dropped a little. "What's up?"

I looked right into his jade green eyes. "Eli, my life has changed. It changed a lot. My family, my friends, my thoughts." I paused and looked down at my ring then back at him. "Even my beliefs."

"Clare…"

"You remember that one night I came to your house in tears, basically throwing myself at you?"

Eli nodded.

"At the time I was very confused. I wasn't sure where my life was heading, and I thought sex would solve things." I paused again, feeling tears form the rims of my eyes. "When I was with Jake, we almost had sex."

Eli's eyes widened looking slightly angered. "You what?" He said in a deep monotone.

I blinked some tears. "Just listen to me."

Eli's face calmed down a bit and he nodded for me to keep going.

"I knew right then and there that my beliefs changed. I don't want to wait until marriage anymore, and I thought that Jake was going to be the one to take my virginity." I sniffed some tears.

Eli brushed my tears away with his index finger.

"I am glad I didn't lose my virginity to him, Eli." I reached over and wrapped my arms around his neck hugging him like there was no tomorrow.

He slowly wrapped his arms around my waist, but pulled me tightly. "Don't be upset Clare, there's no dwelling on what could've happened." He whispered in my ear and placed a soft kiss there.

I smiled through my tears and slowly pulled back from the hug, keeping my arms encircled around his neck. "I love you Eli Goldsworthy."

Eli smiled and placed his lips over mine. We shared a brief chaste kiss. His arms still encircled my waist. "I love you too Clare Edwards and I never stopped."

I removed my arms from his neck and grabbed both of his hands in my lacing our fingers. "Eli, I want us to make love." I said quietly.

Eli again widened his eyes, and froze. "I'm sorry did I hear that right?"

I smiled small. "I wasn't ready last year when I asked you, Jake and I were clearly not meant to be." I placed a peck on his lips, then rested my forehead over his, touching our noses. "Eli, I'm ready."

Eli let go of my hands and got up off of the bed, pacing back and forth, turning my smile into a frown.

I got up as well looking for my stuff. "A simple no would have been better." I spat.

"No, stay." He grabbed my wrist as I was about to grab my duffle and leave.

I paused and we both stood there. "We need to talk Clare." He guided me back to his bed, and we both just lied beside each other, on our separate sides. I laid there once again feeling those tears come back.

"Why won't you sleep with me?" I said through tears.

Eli turned on his side to face me. "We have only been together for two weeks."

"But we were together for three months before this." I sobbed. "Don't you love me?"

"Of course I do." He rested his hand on my cheek, wiping my tears away. I kept my eyes shut. "Clare look at me, open your eyes."

I opened them, revealing my red teary eyes.

Eli caressed his thumb over my cheek. "It's true we were together for three months, and we do love each other, but there's a lot we should still think about before we even consider sex at this point."

I tilted my head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"I think with us just getting back together, we should try to take things a little slow. Our break up was a result of my sickness, and things didn't exactly end well or get better after the break up." He paused and then continued. "Sex is high power intimacy. Do you have any idea what's involved?"

"Well, I know that two people should be sure that they want it." Maybe he really isn't ready yet. "You're not ready for that kind of intimacy are you?"

"I am but not fully. Physically, hell yes." He smirked. "Mentally, for the most part I'd say so. But emotionally, I think we should reconnect some of our relationship, before we decide to go the extra level."

He is right. We may have been together three months prior to this, but in reality we shouldn't jump into something so big like this.

Eli gave my hand a small squeeze. "Are you ready?"

I sighed. "Physically, I'm a little scared."

"It's ok to be scared, but just know that I would never push you or hurt you."

I blushed a little at the response, smiling a little.

Eli scooted closer to me. "When that night comes, I will take things slow, and carefully." He continued to stroke my cheek with his thumb.

"Mentally, I feel ready, because I know it's with someone who hasn't given up on me, and has remained faithful, even while we were broken up." I decided to scoot closer and hesitantly rested my head on his chest.

Eli smiled and took the hand stroking my cheek, gently pulling my head to rest on his chest. He laced his fingers through my curls, stroking them. "It is true; I never lost my love for you, but what about you and Jake? Are you still not over him?"

"Ever since you came back into my life, I haven't even thought about his existence."

I felt Eli's lips on my temple, leaving a kiss there. "I could see things weren't easy when he broke up with you at prom, and it hurt me to see you sad. I thought you really did love him."

"I thought I did too. I probably did love him, but when I look back at what we had then, it looks rushed and selfish." Now I feel so selfish. "I'm sorry you had to see that selfish side of me."

I could feel Eli chuckle. "I would say we all make mistakes, but that's too cliché at this moment."

I laughed a little.

"Let's try to stay on topic here; I want to know emotionally how ready you are."

I looked at our entwined fingers and the purity ring circled around my ring finger. "Emotionally, I don't think either of us are ready. You're right Eli; we just got back together, and have to re connect before we decide to take that big step."

I felt Eli let me go and scoot off of his bed, standing up.

I gave him a questioned look, arching my eye brows in confusion.

Eli stood there and just removed his shirt, causing me to not only stare eye widened, but I could feel goose bumps form in my skin.

Eli tossed his shirt to the floor and sat back down on his bed. "Like what you see?" He asked sounding all smug.

I bit my bottom lip, and smiled nodding. "You're beautiful, Eli." I whispered as I held my shaky hand up to rest it on his shoulder.

Eli smiled and slowly leaned in placing a kiss right at my jaw line, cupping his hand underneath my chin. He moved his mouth to my ear, pushing my curls out of the way with his hand. "And I'm sure you're just as beautiful." He kissed my ear.

My face is beet red, and I can feel my heart rate rise, as he trailed his lips slowly from my ear lobe to the side of my neck.

I let out a soft moan, tilting my head to the side as he continued to shower my neck with kisses. "Eli?" I moaned.

Eli removed his lips from my neck, moving his hand from my chin down my sides. He looked into my eyes as response.

I smiled cupping my hand over his cheek. "I think tonight, we should take things a little slow."

Eli gave me the same confused look I gave him when he removed his shirt, until he realized I was doing the same.

I removed my shirt over my head, throwing it to the floor, leaving me in my black and grey bra. I started to feel a little self conscious. "I-I've never been this exposed wi-with anyone." I shuttered nervously looking down.

Eli tilted my chin up with his hand. "I was so right. Clare Edwards, you are so beautiful." He placed a soft kiss on my lips.

That soft kiss turned into a passionate kiss. He gently leaned over me, causing my back to gently hit the bed. I wrapped my arms around his torso, pulling our chests together. I could feel his heart beating against mine.

XXXXX

"Th-that was amazing." I laid my head back on Eli's bare chest, hearing his racing heart return to normal.

Eli had his arm wrapped around my torso, holding me as if he didn't want to ever let go. "You were amazing." He kissed my forehead.

I giggled. "How long did we..?"

Eli interpreted. "Exactly an hour and a half." He chuckled.

I squealed at the response.

"Are you saying that bad-ass Clare has never made out for that long?" He asked sounding fake shocked.

I smiled and shook my head slowly. "Not that I ever recall. But that was amazing." I felt a yawn coming.

Eli rubbed my back, and placed another kiss on my forehead. "Let's get some sleep."

My eyes were feeling very heavy. "Eli?" I asked softly.

"Yeah, blue eyes?"

I smiled and shut my eyes. "I can't wait until that night. When we do make love."

"I know me too." He paused. "And I promise when that night comes, it will be very special."

"I love you Eli." I yawned, letting sleep take over me.

"I love you too Clare." He whispered huskily.

There truly is no other place I would rather be right now, than in the arms of my first and always true love.

XXXXX

I hope you guys liked this! I didn't want to just make them have sex right away, because people don't do that immediately after they get back together. I wanted to try to keep it real. One more chapter! Keep them reviews coming, and I promise to save the best for last :-)

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