The day I met Aang it all changed, I knew that all I hoped for was in sight. Everything I hoped for has happened. The fire lord has been defeated, I have become a strong bender, and furthermore a strong women. But Aang wasn▓t the only one who was a key instrument in this. There was another person as well.
I moved the linen sheets of my bed aside and sighed. For some reasons on this night I couldn▓t think of anyone but him.
Zuko.
The thought of him burned through my mind and left no room for any other thought.
Why did I think of Zuko? Why did I torture myself with thoughts and memories of him, when I was with Aang? I loved Aang, I▓ve told myself that all along, and it tastes true. So why do I keeping circling back to Zuko? I tip toed out of bed and walked to the sliding door in my room. Everything I wanted was accomplished I was happy, or at least content. So why do I still feel empty I pondered. I slid the door open, and grabbed a light green robe hanging on a nook by the door.
I was living in Ba sing se with Toph. Her family was accepting of me that had let me live with them in the hopes that, quote■ your influence will help our daughter become a strong yet, civilized lady.■ I think however that it was an excuse, having the avatar girlfriend living with you reflected well on you politically. I agreed because I was looking for more to do with my life, and because my room was right in front of their very large, and beautiful Koi pond. The moon reflected off it beautifully and I sat myself down and watched the fish swirl in the pond as I thought. I have already accomplished what I had wanted to do. I had even confronted my mother▓s killer.
I was content, I had someone I could love, I had helped the avatar to begin to bring peace to the world, and I had learned to be strong in so many ways.
Everything I wanted was complete.
So what now?
I know I'd better stop trying
I▓ll save you from the pirates. Those words were so smooth and clichИd, that I almost laughed. I couldn▓t though I was frightened and in some way slightly attracted to such a fierce and frighteningly driven person. He was handsome to me even then, but I was clouded by my hatred for the fire nation, and this person especially, someone who had my mothers necklace. It didn▓t matter know, I was by the avatars side now, where I thought I wanted to be. Know though I wasn▓t so sure it was Aang▓s side I wanted to be by.
At the siege of the north Zuko tried and succeeded in stealing Aang. Even as we fought I thought he was an amazing fighter a strong but undisciplined bender. I knew in time he would be a great fighter. I fought to protect Aang because I knew in my heart he could save the world. I would be lying however if I didn▓t say I wasn▓t somewhat attracted to Zuko though.
The glow of the moon was reflected in the pool a Koi fished jumped startling me. The glow of the reflected waver moon reminded me of the cave I had been thrown into. I was frightened I did not know if I was going to die or be left to rot a longer, but slower death. As far as I knew no one even knew where I was. Then a hole opened up and Zuko was thrown in. the last and secretly the first person I wanted to see. I was afraid of being alone with this person, and then without knowing it I blew up. I did not want to see fire nation right now while I was trapped by them, not while I was struggling with my mother▓s death still. I screamed at him, at the son of the fire lord, I threw my emotions on him without thought or mercy. When he spoke to me, for some reason I cooled down, and listened. I would never have done either with Aang, at least not right away it normally would have taken awhile. I realized over the hours we were together, the hours we screamed at each other in the cave, that he felt some of the same pain as I did. After awhile, I sympathized and then I had an idea, I could help him. I could heal a physical scar, and maybe heal an internal one too. I told him that it was a possibility, and his face lit up with a hope and desperation that I didn▓t think any one from the fire nation could possess, it made me realize that they too were human. I reached up too touch his face, the skin was smooth and soft it stirred something in me I couldn▓t recognize.
Then Aang broke in and I ran to his side without thought. We left and what happened later┘. What happened is that Zuko broke something in me. He betrayed me and tried to kill Aang. I used the water to save Aang.
You know that there's no denying
After that I refused to think about him. I stuck by Aang and clung to the fortune teller▓s promise. I would marry a powerful bender, and who was more powerful than Aang? I sighed and stood form the porch, I quietly stepped down off the porch, and gently quietly stood on the one of the big rocks surrounding the pond. ⌠Aang..■ I whispered into the night air. I was so scared when I thought you were going to die, but┘ why do, even now I not feel so┘painfully, about you? I can hold your hand, let you wrap your arms around me and hold me tight, but still you don▓t make my heart throb or my mind race as much as that fire bender.
I spent months by his side but I still remained confused. Aang kissed me the day before the invasion, and though surprised, it was nothing more than a mashing together of lips.
I thought about Zuko, I wondered what would happen if he were there. How would I react? What would I do? No, I had told myself then. I must focus on Aang, this invasion, helping my father defeat the fire lord. Not about some wayward prince. I tried to deny what I felt but it just wasn▓t working. I couldn▓t stop thinking about Zuko.
I won't show mercy on you now
After the invasion failed, miserably we fled with those we could. However, who was to show up but Zuko?! He was awkward this time, and asking for forgiveness. His voice drew across my heartstrings, but this also angered me, why should I care about some stupid idiot, who betrayed me and killed some one I cared for? I hit him with as much force as I could, but I couldn▓t truly hurt him.
I know I should stop believing
Even after he had destroyed demolition man, and joined the group I still did not believe in him. I wanted to but I refused to, I did not want to get hurt again, or get Aang hurt for that matter.
So I threw my anger in his face and stormed away. Later I felt so bad that I went to his room, I was going to apologize. When I walked into his room however, I was met with a surprise. Zuko standing near the window, the setting sun washing his room in color and bathing him in light. My heart slammed in my chest, and continued to beat harder as I saw his face light up and a smile play across his lips. No! My mind screamed, but my heart beat yes! This feeling was almost overwhelming┘ I threatened him. I could not help it. I could not let him now how I felt. I had to stop believing in this person.
I know that there's no retrieving
Then came the day that Zuko said he may know who killed my mother. Everything came to a head with that sentence. The southern raiders, I knew right away that Aang would not understand the lust fro revenge. He proved that by whining and nagging at me, he tried to wheedle me out of it but I refused. I needed to do this, someone had to avenge her. Why not her daughter? Zuko surprised me when he stood up for me against Aang, but with revenge so close at hand my mind was clouded. We traveled all night, I stayed up and thought. At one point I turned to look at Zuko as he slept. My breath caught in my throat he was handsome, and innocent in his sleep. I turned my head, with my heart in my throat. Now was not the time to think of that. When I finally met the man who killed my mother I was disappointed and disgusted. I left him there and flew back in a companionable silence. With Aang I wouldn▓t have been able to do that, he would have been so happy that I had forgiven the man or that I had let go. I did not need that now and Zuko understood that. I knew I could forgive him now. He had helped me overcome something that had shadowed me my entire life.
Impulsively I ran into his arms and hugged him, I felt his arms circle around me, and for one single moment I felt peace I pulled away and managed not to run back to my tent, instead I walked away with my head held high.
It's over now
I swished my feet in the Koi pond, and they swirled around my toes playfully. ⌠What can I do?■ I whispered to the fish and dipped my hand in the water. ⌠It▓s been a year since, and I am still confused.■ One of the fish poked its head out of the water, and then rolled back in it, almost like a dog cocking its head to the side.
The last battle with Azula was frightening. Zuko was amazing and strong he fought his sister with all he had, but managed to keep a level head. I couldn▓t imagine fighting a family member that way. I had known that Zuko had a hard life, but this psychotic woman was proof of it. I stood on the sidelines anxious, waiting to help Zuko if it got to out of hand.
It did.
Azula shot lightining at me. I was stunned, I did not know the laws of Agni Kai but I knew that this was breaking them. I paused in shock for too long. Zuko ran forward and was hit instead. My mind screamed wordlessly in shock I ran toward him but Azula stopped me. We fought and while we fought I felt pity, even for her. I froze her and chained her down. Then I released the water and ran to her side. I drew the water and focused my healing abilities to the burn on his chest. Heal him oh, please heal him. I begged myself. I clenched my eyes and hoped with all my heart.
⌠Thank you katara.■ He said when he opened his eyes. My heart sunk, those were not the words I had wanted to hear. Teazrs slid put of my eyes before I had a chance to stop them. He was okay. ⌠ I think I▓ m the one who should be thanking you.■ Those were not the words I wanted to say.
What have you done?
Slap! The sound of a sliding door closing shook me out of my revierie. I opened my eyes, and stood I turned around, expecting to see Toph. Her room was only two rooms up from mine, and she and I spoke often. The light pattering of feet that I hear was not Toph▓s though it was familiar. Aang came into view. I stood quickly. ⌠Aang!■ I called out. He stopped in surprise, his orange and yellow robes swished around him, he was holding his glider in one hand, and looked at me in surprise. ⌠katara?■ he said questioningly, ⌠what are you doing out here at night?■ ⌠oh, um┘.■ I said, ⌠uh┘ I was just thinking about things┘■ I paused. He jumped from the porch flew into the air and landed on the rock next to me. ⌠Oh, what are you doing here Aang?■ ⌠hehe■ he said rubbing the back of his head, ⌠I just came to say hi.■ He said weakly. He grabbed my hand and looked into my eyes. At moments like this, he was so sweet. ⌠katara, I▓m gonna be gone for a couple days, and I wanted to come say goodbye. I am going to Omashu to visit Bomi, and the other members of the white lotus, I thought it was something I should be involved in.■ ⌠Yeah.■ I said ⌠ they were meant to help the peace process right? So the avatar should definetly be involved.■ ⌠Thanks katara.■ He said happily he kissed me on the cheek ⌠ You are always so understanding, I▓ll bring you something back!■ this time he pulled me closer and I stumbled a bit, I ended up leaning on his chest as he held me floating a bit so that he was actually taller than i. I blinked, then looked up into his eyes. Why can▓t I go with you, I wanted to ask, but I was giving him his space, i did not want to cling to him, or be irritating. I could figure something to do out in the city. Aang bent closer and smiled. I held back a sigh, and he kissed me. It was jus a gentle press of lips, nothing more. Then he pulled away. I dropped his hand quickly, and felt a twinge of relief. ⌠ ▒kay, I▓m gonna go know.■ Aang said, looking at me a little bit puzzled.. ⌠ love you katara!■ he said.
⌠Love you too.■ I said slowly. I knew he sensed my heasitancy but for once he didn▓t say anything. Instead he turned and took off his feet lightly touching the planks as he dashed around the corner and out of sight.
I turned around, still standing on the rock. ⌠why can▓t you take me with you?■ I asked the wind, as if it could carry his answer back to me. I wrapped my arms around myself to ward off the chill wind, that had suddenly sprung up.
What have you done now?
After awhile I gently stepped down from the rock, flashing a little leg, luckily know one was around to see. I reveled in the feel of the soft dirt on my bare feet before stepping on the wooden planks.
I glanced down the open hallway toward Toph▓s room. I looked blankly at it. Had Aang come out of Toph▓s room at this hour? No┘ he was probably just saying goodbye to her, I thought sadly. There was no reason to be suspicious of anything just because we were dating. I knew Aang too innocent to go beyond kissing, but even kissing another person┘.no, I shook my head. I pulled the door open to my room and walked in, sliding it closed. I pulled off the robe and let it drop to the floor.
⌠He probably wasn▓t in Toph▓s room at all.■ I said to no one in particular. ⌠there is no reason for me to be paranoid, and even if he was he was just saying goodbye to a friend.■ I repeated differently, and kept repeating to myself as I climbed into bed. I pulled the covers over my head and thought. I did not go to sleep until I heard birds chirruping outside.