When did Jack start calling it love? Was it before or after she realized that she'd been denying that Jane looked good and started making jokes about how uptight the soldier behaved? Maybe it existed before, so she could just keep saying that and somehow it would make these feelings not real. After all, the Alliance couldn't care less about Jack.

No, it happened after Shepard get shot, Jack realized as she stared at her lover's bare shoulder.

The pale scar where the bullet had ripped through remained ugly and somewhat raw, but it was there. A reminder of when Shepard risked her own life for Jack. Jack refused to speak about it for a week afterward, but she found herself happy when Shepard visited her afterward. It was stupid, childish glee and they didn't do much except talk. Jack now figured that she wanted to recall everything about that moment. The heat of the shotgun in her hands, the feel of her biotics wrecking everything.

The moment she realized that her barriers had fallen while she'd been distracted. She hadn't meant to let them drop but somehow she must have or this wouldn't be happening. Then she saw the muzzle flash of a sniper's gun in the distance. Jack called herself a fully fledged bitch but she stood there stunned, trying to turn her head to see where it had come from, and in shock when she realized she would die to a goddamn mistake. To a goddamn sniper and she hadn't been fucking paying attention-

That had been when Shepard, her own barrier depleted, had shoved Jack out of the way and let the bullet rip through Shepard's shoulder instead of Jack's chest.

It had to have been then, when she saw Shepard on the ground slowly bleeding out. It had been the first time she'd ever had to apply medi-gel to anyone but herself, so the sticky substance made things more difficult as she tried to apply it to the wound. It wasn't fatal, Jack said to herself, but if she stood there like a dumbass Cerberus would probably hunt her down and try to kill her. Also Shepard would definitely die. Jack couldn't let that happen, that one damn happy thing in her whole life was slipping away.

Jack fumbled with the medi-gel pack she carried, Shepard had insisted upon it and Jack failed to see the use for it until now. When had Jack ever saved a life? Jack tried to use the medicinal tool to no avail, she was still shaking from her stupid mistake earlier.

Shepard reached her uninjured arm up to Jack's hand.

Jack stopped shaking and realized that at some point Thane had left -vanished it seemed like- to check for more Blue Suns in the base. Jack was glad no one would see her crying over a stupid woman who was dumb enough to take a bullet for her.

"It's not fatal Jack," Shepard reassured, even as she continued to bleed. She pulled Jack's hands to her wound, carefully placing the gel over the gaping wound. "You're going to make me cry you know."

Jack snapped to reality when she realized that Shepard was already crying. "You goddamn bitch," Jack sniffled, "I can take a bullet, I've done it before."

"So have I, but it's my fault you're here, so in the Alliance we make sure the higher ranked-"

Jack grabbed the front of Shepard's armor and pulled her into a kiss. It seemed to last forever, and while there wasn't the need behind it that she'd felt with any other kiss she'd had, it was somehow better. Jack just hoped that she wouldn't get pushed away. Jack pulled away when she realized Shepard was barely conscious.

"Goddamnit Shepard, did you just fall asleep while we kissed, I'll kick your ass when we get back to the Normandy," Jack yelled, shaking Jane back and forth.

"The doctor does not advise shaking her, Jack."

Jack felt her face flush even more and nearly jumped at the sudden reappearance of Thane Krios. "Son of a bitch you fucking frog!" Jack yelled, "give me some more warning next time!"

"It seemed that you were both in the middle of something very important," he replied without really showing any of his emotions. Jack hated when he did that. "I believe Garrus owes me five credits."

Another scar, but this time it wasn't hers, Jack thought to herself as she laid in Shepard's warm bed. Jack had many scars, covered by tattoos and hidden within plain sight. Most people missed them, or just ignored the ugly red scars at the base of her neck or on her chest. She wondered if Shepard knew about them.

"Jack..." Shepard groaned as she shifted. "That tickles..."

"Damn it," Jack said, "didn't want to wake you. We're going to our deaths so might as well get a good night's rest, right?"

"I won't let you die, love."

"Shit, I know that. But I bet we'll be apart, no way they'll let me into the Alliance after this."

"Then let's say I love you and then go back to sleep," Shepard said, rolling over to look at Jack.

"Goddamn it, I knew you were a softy all along."

"Same goes for you."

"I love you."