Afternoon Tea

12:45pm

Natalie saw House walk into the restaurant.

"Hi lover," Natalie said as House walked to their table.

"You may be joking now, but when you have to pay for this lunch, it won't be as funny," House said as he picked up his menu. After looking it over for a few minutes, House waved the waiter over. The 18-year-old waiter came over to him.

"I would like a steak, medium, with a baked potato," House said. "You'll have to ask my call girl what she wants." The waiter looked over at Natalie.

Natalie gave him a big smile. "Well since I don't want to be too full for later, I will have a steak, medium, and a side salad with no dressing," Natalie said.

House smiled over at Natalie as the boy's face turned red. "What would you like to drink?" The waiter asked trying not to look either one of them in the eye.

"Pepsi," House said. "I'll take some water," Natalie answered. "Can you put a little lime in it? I like things sweet." The waited nodded and quickly walked away.

"You need to teach Cuddy how to have more fun with strangers," House said to Natalie. "She always gets embarrassed when I say things like that in front of her." Cuddy had a good sense of humor with House, but she got embarrassed easily.

"Why do you call her Cuddy?" Natalie asked. "Shouldn't you call her by her first name? That is what people normally do when they are dating someone."

"I'm not normal," House answered her. "Cuddy's and my relationship is not normal. You should just be happy that is the name I call her and not something worse." House had called Cuddy by her last name for over twenty years and it would be hard to start calling her Lisa now.

"I want you to call her your 'Little Cuddle Bunny'," Natalie said with a smile.

"Just as long as she calls me 'Big House,'" House said. "I think that is only fair."

"Lisa doesn't like to lie," Natalie said with a smile. "Of course, that would explain why she is going out with you. I have a feeling it is not your winning personality that won her over."

"It is because I am a sex machine!" House yelled so that the people surrounding his table could hear him.

"He's lying," Natalie said to the people staring at them. "Believe me."

"That's not what your best friend said," House said again in a loud voice. "Or rather yelled."

"That's the last time I have a three-way with you," Natalie said. She was enjoying this as much as House was.

"You bitch," House said.

"You got to take the good with the bad," Natalie said.

"And get the facts of life," House said, remembering the theme song to the TV show. "I prefer where the kisses are hers and hers and his." Natalie started to laugh at the Three's Company reference, which sent water shooting out of her noise.

"That doesn't make me want to have sex with you," House said. Natalie wiped the water off her face. She now understood that House didn't have a bad personality, but you just have to have the right sense of humor to get it.

"Can we get down to business?" Natalie asked. "Valentine's Day will be over if we keep joking around like this. I have come up with the perfect idea."

"If the word orgy is used anywhere in your sentence, the idea is out," House said.

"You should take Cuddy to a bed and breakfast," Natalie said. "She has talked many times about the time her family stayed at one when she was younger and how she hoped that one day she could go to another one."

"Do you have any idea that is not gay?" House asked.

"This is what will make her happy," Natalie said to him.

"What do you do at a bed and breakfast?" House asked.

"You stay at someone's house with other guests and you usually eat dinner with them and play games," Natalie said.

"So it is an orgy," House said.

"I'm pretty sure that at night you go to your separate rooms," Natalie said.

"Maybe all the sex happens in the living room," House said.

"For someone who said that if the word orgy was used the idea would be out, you sure seem into it," Natalie said to House.

"You said it would make Cuddy happy to have an orgy," House replied back to her. "I want her to be happy." The waiter had walked up with the food right when he said that. He quickly gave them their food and left.

"I don't think that is actually what I said," Natalie said as the waiter left.

"That's what I got out of it," House said.

"Shut up and eat your food," Natalie said. She was happy that House was actually trying to please Lisa. She knew that was a good sign for their relationship.

xx

PPTH

Cuddy saw Wilson walk into the clinic. "What are you doing here?" Cuddy asked him. She put down the case file she had just picked up.

"My seminar got cancelled because the guy's car broke down," Wilson said. "I thought I would get caught up on some paperwork before my next patient comes in later today."

"You're not going to lunch with House?" Cuddy asked him.

"I haven't even seen him today," Wilson said.

"You didn't have plans with him for today?" Cuddy asked, hoping that House had not lied to her. Wilson shook his head no.

"Do you want to go to lunch?" Wilson asked her, thinking that she was trying to give him a hint.

"Maybe another time," Cuddy said.

"Okay," Wilson said as he walked away from her.

Why would he tell me he is meeting Wilson for lunch when he wasn't? Cuddy thought to herself. If he didn't want to eat with me, he could have just said so. What if he was meeting someone else for lunch? There has to be a reason he lied to me.

Chase had seen the interaction between Cuddy and Wilson and could tell that Cuddy was upset about something. Chase decided to call House to give him the head's up that something was going on. Chase heard a girl laughing when House answered the phone.

"What is it, my Aussie friend?" House asked after he saw Chase's number on his caller ID. Chase froze for a moment. "Hello?"

"We need to talk, House," Chase said.