Mulder walked into the pizzeria and spotted Scully and Lucie immediately. Can never lose Scully with that hair of hers... he thought, smiling to himself.

They were sat across from each other at a table in the middle of the restaurant.

"What? No booth?" he asked sitting in the chair that faced the door. He hated having his back to an entrance. His theory was that you never knew who could sneak up behind you.

"Sorry, I hate booths," Lucie told him. "I think that it comes from being the youngest in a family. I was the one who always had to slide down to the end. Booths make me feel claustrophobic."

"We ordered 1 veggie, for me, and 1 meat, for you. Lucie will eat a bit of both," Scully told Mulder.

"Mmmm, meat!" he licked his lips and rubbed his hands together.

Scully rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to Lucie. "How are those evil brothers of yours? I haven't seen them since Phil's wedding," she asked genuinely interested, but also not wanting Lucie to turn the conversation back into what she had told her about Mulder.

"Ugh! Fine. Phil is good. He's got a baby on the way. A boy. And Chris is as annoying as ever!" she informed her. She then let Mulder in on the conversation, "Christophe is the oldest. So he thinks he knows everything! Philippe is in the middle. So he stays out of everybody's way. And I," she smiled, "am the baby and get to do whatever I want!"

"That's the truth," Scully mumble then shot Lucie an innocent smile.

"What's with the French names?" Mulder inquired.

"My parents met in France and are total 'Francophones.' My godparents are even French! Luckily, for me, the named me Lucie instead of Au-Ra-Lee," she said in a perfect french accent. "Aurélie in English sounds like 'orally,' and we all know that would not have been fun for me. Especially since I cheered with a girl named Lolly Cox!"

Mulder choked on the water he was chugging. "What?!"

"Yep! Lolly Cox. She was popular with the fans-"

"Lucie was an Indianapolis Colts cheerleader a few years ago," Scully told him, cutting Lucie off. "I bet she could get you signed pictures of some hot girls that you could bribe the Gunmen with..." She smiled thinking about the possible reactions those guys would have to 'hot girl' pictures.

"Well, that explains the jumping and the squealing for Lucie. What about you?" he asked Scully. "Were you a cheerleader and never told me?!"

"Absolutely not!" both girls exclaimed in unison.

"Jinx! Haha! You owe me a drink!" Lucie shouted, excitedly. "Speaking of... you know of any good bars or clubs around here? You've been here long enough!"

"I'm not really a bar hopper, Lucie. I'm 33 years old!" Scully reminded her.

"And I'm 28. What's your point? You're not exactly old! Dana, you're never gonna get a man stuck in a basement and being dragged around by him! No offense, Mulder."

"I am, however, slightly offended. We have fun!" he protested. "Right, Scully?"

"AND!" Lucie interjected before Scully could answer. "You're never gonna get a girl if you drag my beautiful cousin around with you everywhere you go! You all are each other's cock-block!" she 'artfully' explained.

For the second time Mulder choked on his water.

"Family restaurant, Lucie!" Scully chided, then added in a hushed tone, "Cock-block? What do you mean?"

Mulder was too shocked for words. He didn't know whether to be embarrassed or amused. He definitely didn't know if he wanted to hear Lucie's answer, but he couldn't bring himself to excuse himself from the table. This was going to be bad. He just knew it.

"Well," Lucie began to explain with a big smile on her face, "if you two are always around each other, then you are 'blocking' him from being able to actually use his cock, and he is 'blocking' potential hotties to use their cocks on you! Hence, cock-block."

Scully blushed a deep shade of red. "Excuse us," she told Mulder as she grabbed Lucie's arm and dragged her to the ladies room.

"What the fuck is the matter with you!" Scully shouted once inside the safety of one of the bigger stalls on the end. "Did you come to DC for the sole purpose of embarrassing me in front of my partner?! Because you are doing a REALLY good job at it!"

Lucie leaned against the wall. "Well, you asked.." she shrugged innocently.

"Don't," she warned. "He is my partner! You can't talk about his cock! Especially not in front of him!" Scully ranted while pacing.

Lucie couldn't help but smile, "So, his cock is fair topic of conversation between the two of us?" she raised an eyebrow.

"NO! No- no- no discussion involving Mulder's cock OR any other part of his anatomy!" she stuttered. "I can't go back out there," she muttered mostly to herself.

"Of course you can. I was talking about his cock. Not you. It's fine." Lucie sounded so sure that Scully stopped pacing to study her.

"Okay," she said running her hands through her hair. "But you're going to apologize for the inappropriate conversation."

"Fine. Whatever. I don't care, " she said smiling. "I am sorry for embarrassing you, though. You turned a lovely shade of red."

When Scully and Lucie rejoined Mulder at the table, the pizza had come and he was staring at it like a rabid dog.

"Go ahead. Dig in," Scully told him.

"Mulder," Lucie began, thinking about how she was going to word this. "I'm sorry that I talked about your cock in a family restaurant." Lucie then smiled mischievously at Scully, as if to say, Happy now?

Scully put her head in one hand and patted Mulder's arm with the other. "Sorry about my cousin and her big mouth," she said quietly, sounding absolutely defeated.

Mulder just shoved pizza into his mouth and wondered what he had gotten himself into.

footnote: I actually did know a girl named Lolly Cox.