Communication Breakdown

-X-

The Vongola mansion, aside from boasting the latest patented sprinkler technology—it was able to water any plant from a 50 meter radius and electrocute any organism that walked on the grass, beautiful gardens, and the type of kitchen that people could only see in TV commercials, it also prided itself in its security system—the stuff spy novels were made of.

Complete with laser-filled hallways, doors that closed in sequential order, motion detector paintings, window sensors, retinal scans, keypads, and an alarm that could wake up the dead, you could almost say that it was virtually impossible for any person to ever breach the mansion's defenses, unless of course they were very limber and well-prepared.

Another asset of the security system the mansion was so proud of was the security cameras, placed at every corner of every wall in the entire mansion. The motion detection sensors on it recorded anything that moved as long as it was moving, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

The footage that was recorded was sent to the security room, where it was monitored and checked by highly-trained officials tremendously dedicated to their work, and totally not playing poker like other guards were.

Because of this method, there was not a single thing that could go on inside the mansion's walls unseen. The security cameras were especially sensitive in areas near the Vongola boss' office.

Hibari paused, feeling that something was slightly amiss.

His head snapped up, and his eyes found the black screen of a security camera as it stared neutrally back at him.

It had been positioned like that ever since it picked up active movement some twenty minutes ago—the exact same time he had picked a fight with Dino—and stayed there. Which meant that it had also picked up—

Oh shit.

Oh shit.

Blood boiling, Hibari gripped his tonfas tightly.

He thought that by simply destroying the security camera and killing all the guards who monitored it, the problem would be taken care of.

But God hated Hibari.

-X-

Some days later…

Plan A had been launched successfully.

Now, Plan B would've also already began, if this bastard—

This damn bastard.

Just gave him the goddamned tape.

Mukuro twitched.

He stood in some sort of repulsive, probably rat-infested alley. It was hot as burning hell. The air was unbearably humid. And his hair was soon starting to frizz, damn it all, and this man— this bastard in front of him, had still not given him the damn tape.

The tape, which contained the invaluable, authentic, boney fide footage that had the only chance of ever successfully blackmailing the Vongola cloud guardian, and cause a reaction so terrible that it may be enough for him to want to gouge his own eyes out, or commit social suicide…Whichever one could be done faster.

Least to say, after the truth was exposed, he wouldn't get laid anymore.

Mukuro chuckled slightly and closed his eyes. This could possibly be the first step in gaining his New World Order; the eradication of Vongola's strongest guardian, and later, the eradication of Vongola itself without any psychopathic maniac hell-bent on killing him to hinder his plans.

This was vital; it was worth it. He could wait. He could do this. He had spent almost a decade floating inside some sort of aquarium thing, for Pete's sake. He could do this.

Though, for someone who had close connections to Mafia Intelligence and spent years gathering dirt on the cloud guardian, he had found it slightly insulting to learn that the tape had been in the trashcan all along, and had been found by the janitor who thought that the family didn't need it since, well, it was in the garbage, and sold it.

He went through hell trying to search for the person who had bought it for a mere five dollars. It wasn't even in Euros, dammit.

He went through three cups of coffee, snapped at one or two random passersby, paid numerous of hotel maids money, one a painful sum of cash, had been threatened by police, chased by a dog, visited a gay strip bar (Hibari would so totally love this), was sexually harassed at least two and a half times (Twice he felt like somebody had been trying to undress him with their eyes, and somebody had almost touched his ass once, but he almost stabbed their jugular with a salad fork too, so it didn't count)—

—and felt so frazzled to the point where he even allowed Chrome to drive (which was pretty much a land-based kamikaze, considering she couldn't see out of one eye and all), that after practically running over an old lady again (Take that, bitch!) and a cat (Chrome, get back in the car), led him here.

To this man, who had probably been mutated at birth.

He still hadn't given him the damn tape.

Mukuro glowered the way gentlemen usually did: jaw tightly clenched and smiling, as he patiently tried to wait for the man to stick his head out of his ass.

"So, If I give this to you," he started, enunciating his words like there was peanut butter on the roof of his mouth. "You'll give me two-thousand Euros, and a cruise trip to India."

"Correct." Mukuro smiled charmingly, despite all else. "Now, if you'd just kindly—"

"Make it three thousand Euros," the man suddenly cut in. He scrutinized the tape in his hands, wondering why it seemed to be of so much value to the other man. He scratched his chin, and finally shrugged. Eh. As long as it was worth something. "Make it three thousand Euros, and—and—"

"And—?"

"A coupon to a restaurant somewhere. Somewhere... fancy."

Mukuro fought the urge to grit his teeth. He could kill this man so easily, but the tape. The tape was so invaluable, that if it even scratched the slightest inch while he tried impaling the man, then all his years of meticulous planning would easily go down the drain.

So. For now.

"Fine." Mukuro relented, hissing inwardly. "Three thousand Euros, and a coupon to a fancy restaurant." He looked at the man and cracked a smile. Good luck with the McDonald's coupon, bastard. I hope you choke on a Big Mac.

-X-

His mind was almost having a panic attack.

Only going back to his office to fetch some forgotten documents, he froze mid-reach when he glanced at his desk.

The tape wasn't there anymore.

Hibari closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It should've been there. He was pretty sure he had decimated that security camera and flung it out the window, and incapacitated the guards who had watched it from the security room and collected the tape which had the footage inside of it.

So why wasn't it there anymore? He had done it, so it should've been there. It couldn't just have gotten up and walked away.

Maybe it was there, and he had just been hallucinating. Maybe, this was all just a bad dream, an illusion, and he would open his eyes any second now and find the tape in its CD case, next to his laptop, where he had left it. Yes.

Hibari opened his eyes. Son of a bitch. It wasn't there.

Okay, Kyoya.

Relax.

Calm down.

Breathe. Do not go into a fit of rage and throw the chair across the room. Again.

The cloud guardian dropped his papers and approached his desk, sifting through the stacks of documents and files as he listed off possible places where he must've misplaced it, since nobody would ever dare touch any of his belongings.

He pulled out the desk drawers next, proceeding to search through each one with a rising, almost vigorous sort of determination. Finding that it wasn't there, his head snapped up and gazed at his surroundings, stopping as it fell unto the other sole person in the room.

"Tetsuya."

His loyal minion perked up. "What is it, Hibari-san?"

"There was a tape on my desk yesterday. Have you seen—"

"Oh. That." Kusakabe tried to recall what he did with the tape, and snapped his fingers. "Yes. I got rid of it."

Hibari paused in his searching, shoulders stiff. He looked at his employee. "You what?"

Kusakabe flinched. He peered at his boss' suddenly contorted face, trying to exact what the hell had gone wrong and how many seconds he had until shit blew up. He couldn't help but stutter. "T-there was a sticky on it saying 'Garbage Shitbag'."

"… what's your point?"

"Oh. I. Uh." Kusakabe hesitated, now nervous and twirling his thumbs. Didn't he want to get rid of the tape? Who the hell would want to keep something labelled as Garbage Shitbag? "I thought you needed to get rid of it, sir, so I took the liberty of doing it for you."

Hibari's face was very grim. "I've told you to never touch my things." Kusakabe squirmed, and he trembled, clenching his jaw and shutting his eyes.

His assistant was just in some sort of brain-fuck today, he assured himself. Otherwise, he would've noticed that something labelled as Garbage Shitbag couldn't just be simply thrown out for the world to see. Everybody made mistakes, though, and his three years worth of anger management classes would not fucking go to waste because of something so insignificant.

Killing his assistant would only be a waste of his breath. The man had been with him all through middle-school, high-school, and had proved to be a very useful slave, accomplice, and weapon target.

He'd have to somehow find another flunky who wouldn't endlessly irritate him, and God knew how easy that would be.

Hibari opened his eyes, now somewhat calm after numerous breathing exercises. He leveled his minion with a profound stare. "Did you dispose of it properly?"

"Uh. By properly, you mean...?"

"Forced it into the shredder. Burned it inside the microwave. Fed it to the guard dogs; they've got rabies. That would help."

Help... what? "Um... no." He flinched when Hibari's eyes narrowed at him.

"What, then?" The cloud guardian pressed, hissing. "Did you break it in some shape or form? With a hammer, at least?" The question was borderline threatening.

Kusakabe gulped, rubbing the back of his neck uneasily. He started to worry about his employer's sanity level, though not for the first time. "I'm afraid not, sir."

"Then where is the tape?"

"Um. In the trash. The garbage truck probably already got to it though, since it's a Monday and all, so it might be at the dump right now..."

Hibari stared. "You threw it in the garbage."

"Well. Yes."

He processed this quietly; his face slowly darkening as he began to calculate the probability of some ungodly person discovering it and if so, the likelihood of clawing his own secretary without getting caught.

The cloud guardian's first instinct was to grab the nearest weapon he could find, which was a stapler, and try to come up with various methods of killing his assistant with an office supply.

"Err. Kyoya-san—" Kusakabe called warily.

It currently stretched between two and three. Granted, the stapler was still full of staples—

"Kyoya-san—"

So that made it ten. He also had another stapler full of staples in his other drawer, so—

"Kyoya-san!" Kusakabe raised his voice. He immediately looked down and noticed how high-quality their carpeting was as soon as Hibari's You wanna die by post-it-notes? glare snapped at him. "Uh. Reborn-san is here to see you..."

He shifted his gaze, anger dissipating a bit as his eyes fell unto the ten year old suddenly leaning against his door-frame. Hibari glowered. "What do you want, kid? I'm busy."

"I'd prefer you not call me that." Reborn answered, and then smirked at him pointedly. It sang I know your most precious secret and I'll probably use it as blackmail later. "Anyway, Tsuna— everyone— well, everyone considered important anyway, needs you in the meeting room."

Hibari grunted. God. Crowding. "Tell them to come here." Wait. No. "How many people are present?"

"I said everyone considered important, didn't I?" Reborn scoffed, as if the sentence hadn't explained for itself. He paused upon noticing Hibari's scowl, and added, "There was an email sent to us with an attachment." Another pause. "It's about you."

-X-

First people were slandering him and asking him about his sexuality, now they were going around sending emails about him. WTF.

Didn't they have jobs to do, first of all? God. No wonder a bunch of shit was always on his desk every damn morning. While everyone freaking IMed and giggled like the little girls that they were, he was here slaving away, dictating dumbasses to get their shit right.

No, you were not supposed to shoot that person. You were supposed to shoot the man beside that person.

I don't care if it's your birthday. Go back to work.

Rendezvous means to meet up, moron; by no means is it an expensive French chocolate.

This was exactly why he liked traveling so much. Whenever he came back to this godforsaken place, he had to deal with stuff like his men bleeding all over the goddamn carpet, half of them shooting themselves in the foot because they forgot to put the safety lock in their guns, and the other half getting sent to the hospital because inevitably, amidst the sheer stupidity of it all, he would need some sort of stress release.

They also expected him to replace the people he fired/attempted to kill. And what—that was only during the weekends.

The weekdays, however, were worse. Monday, meanwhile, like today, was the worst. Monday, it seemed, was Piss Off Hibari day. And true to its title, they were already pissing him off, and he hadn't even had freakin' lunch yet.

Damn it. This meeting the kid had called had better been important. The tape was still missing, and he had more significant matters that needed to be attended to, like finding that said tape and getting something to frigging eat.

So, grumbling, he accommodated in reluctance, flashing his assistant a look to discard the relief off of his face because he would kill him later in his sleep, and exited his office.

However, upon walking through two hallways, descending a flight of stairs and opening a door that lead to a new corridor, Hibari absently noted that all the people who he had passed by stared at him rather intently.

This included businessmen, servants, and the occasional fellow hit-men, all of whom tried to stifle their giggles, refrain from choking on their spit, gag, upchuck, and throw shifty or suggestive glances his way.

The strangest thing was, all who threw suggestive glances his way were male. The women just sort of forcibly looked the other way.

And then it hit him; painful, agonizing, and in the form of a pink flier posted on the bulletin board, almost attacking his line of vision. It felt as if someone had just chucked a brick of ice to his face.

He immediately ripped the flier off of the bulletin board, holding it close to his face as his eyes stared at his own figure in the flier, covering two-thirds of the paper and featured at the center, pinned down by a large, censored thing that had to be Dino.

At the bottom of the page read his name in big, bold letters; HIBARI KYOYA, STRAIGHT OR— it was followed by a question mark.

He scrunched up the flier, and like the sound of hell breaking loose, Hibari Kyoya, gossiped resident homosexual, was on the warpath.

-X-

The door to the meeting room slammed open.

Hibari stood at the doorway, pink flier held threateningly at his fingers like he'd suffocate somebody with it at any moment. "Alright," he snarled, voice low and dangerous. Various family members shifted uneasily under his gaze. "Who's the bastard—"

"Good. You're here," Reborn cut in, already sitting precariously on top of a computer. He turned, gesturing vaguely. "Play it."

"Play what."

And the projector in front of them started rolling.

-X-

The video began innocently enough.

At first, it showed Dino and him standing amidst the hallway, posed in their battle stances. Several pairs of eyes stared at the screen, wondering what had been deemed so wrong. It was normal for Vongola's cloud guardian to demand a fight out of almost anyone, immediately, and on the spot, even if it was inside the house.

Several words were exchanged between Video-Hibari and Video-Dino, causing a few sweat-drops and shaken laughs here and there. Video-Hibari's grip on his tonfa tightened, signifying the start of the fight. He lowered his stance slightly, knees bent to build momentum before lunging at Video-Dino.

Video-Dino merely smiled, readied his whip, and posed to strike. Though what came next was entirely unexpected, causing all of the viewers watching to gasp involuntarily and open their mouths in unprecedented horror. Oh snap.

It either seemed like Video-Hibari had lunged at Video-Dino and Video-Dino had fell more than willingly on top of Video-Hibari, or that Video-Hibari had lunged at Video-Dino and latched onto him, bringing both men down on the floor rather enthusiastically. Either way, both implied that there was some sort of fight going on down there alright, however impossible and trauma-inducing it was.

And—and—was Video-Hibari blushing!?

"HOLY SHIT." Gokudera's voice broke through the shocked silence of the crowd.

Hibari's bangs covered his face, hiding the venomous gleam that shone in his eyes. His head snapped up to Gokudera. Gokudera flinched, tried to look angry too, and then failed when Hibari had jumped up at the table and promptly attacked him.

Chaos ensued.

-X-

Cracking a dead man's eyelids open seemed easier than prying the cloud guardian's fingers off of the storm guardian's neck. The man seemed to have developed a chronic strangling disease, along with his smack-the-shit-out-of-people-with-a-blunt-object disease, blow-up-an-orphanage-save-an-animal-shelter disease, and his only-an-elephant-tranquilizer-can-bring-me-down disease.

The rest of the family had to evacuate in fear of getting the floor wiped with their faces. Gokudera, meanwhile, God love him, had to take one for the team.

He should've known better than to express his horror about the possibilities of Hibari Kyoya making a pass at him, since he now liked guys and all.

Days had gone by a lot simpler when they thought the cloud guardian was simply a robot incapable of possessing human love. Now, he was still a robot incapable of possessing human love, but trying.

They, namely Reborn and Tsuna, asked if what had just taken place was true, mostly because—

A) They were sort of morbidly curious.

B) They wanted to make sure to never drop a pen and bend down in front of him.

C) They wanted to assure him that just because he finally came out of the closet; it didn't mean that he now couldn't be dangerous, lethal, and gay at the same time. They also wanted to inform him that the Mafia was very open, and that it probably wouldn't be long before half the staff members announced they were also gay. And finally,

D) Dino's mother was on hold, and wanted to know if their relationship was serious or not, and if so, when should her son propose to him and if he was against donating sperms to make babies, because hello; if they could fuel motorcycles out of dying-will-flames nowadays, then it certainly meant that they could also impregnate him.

After all, the Cavallone family depended on it.

Hibari got very quiet—frighteningly quiet about this, as they waited with bated breath for his answer. He looked at their faces, and made a mental note to suffocate Dino with his own pillow.

Tsuna and Reborn were still staring at him rather expectantly.

He snarled at them. "I refuse to answer any of those inane questions."

The two paused. Grinned knowingly. And then…

"So it's true, isn't it?"

-X-

Annihilating the Vongola family, Hibari decided, after the huge blow to his pride, would be the best way of satisfying his thirst for vengeance.

Not only did they drop a grenade bomb on it, but after the explosion, they came and scoured the last remaining pieces of his dignity, shattered on the floor, and then repeatedly fucked his carefully built reputation over until it was just a tiny little thing in the corner, stripped down, bare, and restless until it had its revenge.

Now, the Vongola family, aside from its impressive status and infamy, was not a very hard family to crack. The opponent families had been getting it all wrong, neglecting the seemingly insignificant little details and instead aiming to target the big picture all at once. But what was a picture without its details?

The truth was, all one really needed to do in order to overthrow the Vongola family were to cause some sort of inner turmoils.

I. e: break the espresso machine, and nobody would be able to function for days. Steal the wine from the basement, and they would end up killing each other. Kidnap the women, or fuck, the janitor, and it would all cause them to have some sort of panic attack. Anything would suffice, really.

The real problem, though, would be the disposing of the bodies. The Vongola family had a legion of family members, and finding a cemetery or a lake big enough to fit all of them would be a bitch.

And, unfortunately for Hibari, it all came down to these frustrating elements:

1) Whether or not it was raining.

2) How deep and murky the nearest body of water was.

3) If he remembered to take Tylenol AM instead of Tylenol PM.

4) How much alcohol was consumed.

5) If he even really wanted to touch their decaying bodies, since their herbivore-ness could, God forbid, infect him someday.

7) And if so, how much bubble-wrap, plastic gloves, and peroxide was available on immediate hand, and if he really even felt like keeping a small bottle of hand-sanitizer in his pocket, just in case.

There was also the need to hire a staged massacre, how much he could threaten the maids to keep quiet about the incident, bribe money, mourners, and fifty coffins.

He probably even had to cry at the funeral too—or at least, show a tiny bit of remorse... like an indication that he was about to cry, or a speech... because if he didn't, then they would all probably be suspicious and give him looks throughout the duration of the funeral, considering that what he had done at last year's Christmas Party was sort of a dead giveaway.

He would also have to estimate his chances of:

1) Being able to summon a get-away car on such a short notice if they found out.

2) Getting a new identity.

3) A decent alibi.

4) About two million yen from his retirement savings account.

5) And a plane ticket to some other foreign country, where, let's face it, he'd probably end up committing the same crime again anyway.

Plus, he was kind of lethargic in that 'I-need-my-sleep-or-I-wouldn't-even-have-the-energy-to-emit-a-proper-murderous-intent-in-the-morning' sort of way. And that really wouldn't help, since he'd have to do all of this before daylight.

Hibari thought all of this over, and then scowled at how his idea had suddenly turned against his favor.

He brooded, continuing to rip the gaudy pink fliers, which announced his newly found sexuality to the world, off of the walls (its numbers had somehow multiplied all throughout the mansion) when he felt an unexpected thwack at his shoulders.

He blinked, turning around to see Chrome Dokuro suddenly beside him, rubbing her forehead and clenching what seemed to be the same gaudy pink fliers as he was holding...

Hibari's eyes immediately narrowed. "You—"

"Mukuro-sama didn't mean to!" She squeaked, panicked by his expression. Her eyes instantly widened, abruptly cupping her mouth with her hand.

"Mukuro...?" He repeated slowly, tone slightly shocked. And then it clicked.

Of course. Who else would use such a gaudy color as pink, besides Lussuria, to attract speculators but him? Who else would come up with such an ostentatious bullshit, and have no qualms about spreading it but him? Who else made it their life's goal to make his life a living hell? Who else but—

"Mukuro." The cloud guardian seethed finally, hands balling into tight fists. He remembered now. He swore he heard a familiar laugh going off at the end of that video, but had put it aside thinking it was just his imagination...

But now. Now.

"He's the one who sent that email here, isn't he?" Hibari bared his teeth. "He's the one who managed to find that tape, dared to use it against me, and now you're helping him by spreading those fliers all over the goddamned place and—"

"I'm taking them down!"

"—you're taking them down..." Hibari paused. He gave her a suspicious glare.

Chrome squirmed under the pressure of his scrutiny. "While it's true that, at first, I... I was the one putting them up... I slowly came to realize it was cruel to do something like this— to a, a person whose just finally admitted—"

"I'm not. Gay." He quickly snarled.

The girl's eyes softened upon his reaction, and he may or may not have thought that she was disturbed. "Hibari-san, I've told you before. I understand—"

"Listen." Hibari gritted his teeth, sensing an oncoming migraine. "What do you not get about the words I'm not gay?"

"I get... that you're just misunderstood—"

"Are you serious."

"—and that Mukuro-sama... that Mukuro-sama's not as gentle as I thought he was."

"Shocking."

"I can't believe he actually did something so shameful to a fellow guardian..." She mumbled, biting her lip and gazing distractedly at the floor.

Hibari was silent about this. He opened his mouth, hissing "Where is he?" All of this. All of this would immediately end, if he could just get a hold of that man's neck... and strangle him.

Chrome lifted her eyes, looking at his face rather hesitantly. "South America."

"... South... America?" He repeated numbly. The distance almost made him feel hopeless. Damn it, that bastard.

Sensing his afflicted tone, Chrome's head immediately snapped up, holding him down in what she hoped was a determined look. "H-Hibari-san... I can take full responsibility for this."

"No." Hibari scowled, immediately sensing what she was planning. Though Chrome prevailed.

"Yes. It's my fault for even asking about your business... and intruding upon your and Dino-san's... er. A-alone time," He twitched at this. "So... to make up for it, I'll do anything I can to help you—"

"I don't need anybody's help."

"But you'll have it" She continued persistently. "I-I'll try my best, and—"

"No." He simply ended, turning around and leaving no room for discussion. He was about to walk away, though stopped as he heard his name pronounced by two men passing by.

"Did you see that flier? Cavallone must be helluva strong, being able to pin Hibari like that..."

"Yeah. Looked like they were making out instead, though."

Chrome's eyes widened. Hibari had gone completely still.

It then took all of her strength to prevent the cloud guardian from immediately tearing the two apart once they said this. And when he eventually broke away from her grip, she had to yell for them to run.

But it was too late. It was always too late.

-X-

The next day transpired as the day before it had, except for the times when the cloud guardian came out of his office.

When this happened, life in the mansion was comparable to Hell.

The man had the killing intent of a lion on steroids, and when wronged, chased after you like a lawnmower on a rampage. When walking the halls, he possessed a sort of force that made people slam themselves into the wall in fear of having contact with him. He also looked at you funny, in that I-think-I'll-kill-you-next-insert-crazy-laugh-here sort of way.

It wasn't his fault, though. After countless of questions concerning his sexuality, numerous passes from other gay men, family members ensuing him their support, love advice, dating websites, and women wanting to introduce him to their gay friends, a man was only bound to snap.

And then, as if things couldn't get much worse, Dino had called him. Their conversation went something like this:

"Hey, Kyouya. I didn't know you were gay for me."

"... what? Who is this?"

"It's Dino. So, those countless violent threats were really a declaration for your love, huh?"

Hibari hung up. He also threw his cell phone out the window.

From then on, there wasn't a day that passed by when a person who accidentally looked at him wrong didn't get sent to the hospital.

Bills and lawsuits against him soon piled up. Tsuna eventually had to come to his office and beg him to restrain his anger or Vongola would soon go bankrupt, and they'd be forced to sell Yamamoto's body to the fan-girls.

"I think... I think you should go on a vacation, Hibari-san." The Vongola boss had advised. "You know, find yourself a nice boy and settle down for a while. It can just be a fling or whatever, but he'll be able to give you the break you need... I, um, hear Tahiti's nice."

From just those words, he could have attacked Tsuna right then and there. He could have gotten his tonfas from underneath his desk, and smacked him one. He could have, but he didn't.

It was at this moment that he came to a horrible realization that this was not something brute violence could fix. He could have spent an entire week beating anybody who thought he was gay into a bloody pulp, and still. Still, their minds would not change.

Tsuna's words, genuine and sincere, had summed everything up.

They really thought he was gay.

-X-

Hibari glared at the Mist Guardian's door as if it owed him money. He then stared at the doorknob agonizingly, as if just touching it would cause him great pain.

Damn it. It turned out that using violence as a last resort did not work in situations where you had already considered killing everything that moved on plain sight, and failed.

Now they tell him, not when he was in preschool where it would've probably been more useful and could've possibly—possibly, don't hold your breath or anything—made him into a normal boy, unlike the sociopath he was today.

But hey. Such was life. And further evidence that God didn't really like Hibari all that much, what with the daily breaking of the sixth amendment and all. Figures.

He had already been hit on earlier this morning, anyway. The cashier, who was, you guessed it, a man, had handed him his coffee and muffin with a phone number and a note secretly stashed inside the bag.

Upon his way out, he had fished out his breakfast, felt some sort of paper, pulled it out, and read the words through a mouthful of bread. "Do you want me to butter your muffin..."

After an encounter like that, it wasn't like his reputation could stoop any lower. It only took this much more, this much more for the last thread of his sanity to finally snap. There was no telling how much hell he could make then.

But anyway.

This. The door. The lawsuits. The doorknob. The unfairness of it all.

Perpetually loathing himself, Hibari sighed irritatingly and abruptly came inside the Mist Guardian's office. Chrome had instantaneously jumped upon his arrival, a surprised expression adorning her features.

"You've brought me into this," He whispered threateningly, glaring hatefully at the floor. "You will get me out."

Realizing the full meaning of his words, she beamed.

-X-

And there goes part 2. As you have probably realized by now, there's going to be another installment, since I have failed in making this work as a two-shot. But then again, I always fail...

Sorry for updating so late... I meant to update sooner, but gosh, it was hell trying to make this believable and yet somewhat amusing, you know?

Yes, "Do you want me to kill you by post-it-notes?" was totally a reference from Get Smart. Which, I should add, does not belong to me. And I'd like to thank CanadianCookie, my new beta for proof-reading this story C: She made this fic viewable for public eyes, so it wouldn't make you go running away in terror. I'd have probably posted this in May if it wasn't for her...

Reviews are VERY MUCH, stress the very part, welcomed. And adored.