Seeking Redemption

Chapter 1

Jacob's POV

Oh God, this can't be happening! Not Bells! Not MY Bells. What am I gonna do?

That stupid fucking LEECH! He killed Bells. No. The demon spawn killed Bells. I begged her to get rid of it, told her that it would kill her! Hell, I even offered my stud services to give her a child that was not a bloodsucking murderer! Why did she have to be so damned stubborn? Was that fucking leech's devil child worth her life?

As I slowly walked out of the room where Bella was dead and her bloodsucker husband kept trying to bring her back, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Bella was gone. Dead. Edward didn't think so, still manually pumping her heart after knocking my hands out of the way and yelling at me to go. Edward still had hope. But I knew better. She was gone. I came to the realization when I no longer felt the pull. The pull I had felt towards Bella that kept me coming back for more hurt and rejection over and over again. The Pull that made me turn against my Alpha, my pack, my tribe. The pull was gone, so I knew that Bella was gone. I needed to get the hell out of there before I lost it.

So as I slowly wandered down the massive staircase of the Cullen's mansion my mind was going a hundred miles an hour. All I could think about was Bella smiling again, because of me, after that leech left her. Bella, laughing in my garage while I worked on our motorcycles. Bella and I playing on First Beach when we were kids. The kiss we shared outside of the tent right before the newborn battle. Memories of her over the years flooded my mind as I reached the bottom of the stairs.

That's when I heard Blondie, sitting on the couch cooing away at the little demon in her arms. The demon that killed Bella. Alive and well while just upstairs the father tried unsuccessfully to keep the mother it killed alive. Anger, like none I have ever experienced, took my whole body over. I got tunnel vision focused on Blondie and the demon and I saw red. I vaguely registered the familiar shiver down my spine and before I even realized what I was doing I was phasing on the fly as a launched myself at them. I wanted to get the demon spawn first, and then if I could not survive the wrath of Blondie and the other Cullen's at least I would have rid this world of that abomination. At the last second Blondie caught on to the attack and shifted slightly and flipped the spawn under her on the couch while she held herself over it to take the brunt of my attack and protect the spawn with her body. I hit her with such force the momentum carried us both over the couch. While we flew in the air I sunk my teeth into the first body part I had access to, which happened to be the back of her right shoulder. I heard a high pitched keening sound as my teeth ripped a large chunk from her body.

As we crashed to the ground in a ball of fur and stone I turned my head to the side to spit the chunk of Blondie out, but when I did she reached back over her shoulder and got her hand on me then flung me over her onto my back and I slid across the room. As my body skid to a stop, taking out an end table and destroying the floor, Blondie recovered quickly and launched herself at me trying to gain the upper hand. However, I anticipated this and rolled over and to the left and caught her leg as she flew, narrowly missing me. With her leg in my jaws I rolled again and yanked my head to the side effectively ripping her leg almost clean off. With the same keening sound and the force of my movements she flew in the opposite direction of the couch. So with Blondie out of the way and injured, I jumped over the couch, growling and snarling as I hovered over the demon ready to deliver justice.

That's when the demon opened its eyes and looked at me all wide eyed, scared and starting to cry. And as our eyes met my whole life changed in a fraction of a second. What the fuck!!

I immediately went silent as I felt the world disappear, leaving only me and this baby. I felt as if I was floating in space without gravity and this little baby now grounded me. Every tie I may have had to this world, everything I thought important had just been shoved back to a distant second to this baby girl. I knew in that instant as I stared at her that I would give, do, and be whatever she wanted. I would give my life to protect her. I was hers now. She owned me.

I noticed that she stared right back at me with intensity I thought abnormal for a newborn child. She never did start fully crying, calming as soon as I quit growling and baring my teeth. She must have felt it too.

As I pondered this, reality snapped back into my brain and I heard Edward screaming at Blondie. I turned my head towards him as I caught the end of his rant.

"…… he won't hurt her! He imprinted on her! Now be quiet and stay still while I put you back together. I must get back to Bella!" he sounded frantic. Which I could understand after losing his wife and my trying to kill his baby and………… WAIT!

Imprint? Is that what that was? Holy Shit!

"Yes, that's what that was Pup." Edward said curtly as he answered my thoughts. "And she's not dead! Now I highly recommend you run because the family is back"

Oh shit, I thought as I glanced back over at Blondie who was quickly recovering and eyeing me as though she had every intention of killing me once able. Two seconds later I heard the sounds of the approaching Cullens. I quickly phased back to get the hell out of there thru the front door, as they neared the back of the house. I didn't even bother with clothes since they were destroyed when I phased.

I didn't want to leave her, my imprint. But I knew I had to, I was severely out numbered and I was pretty sure they all would want me dead for what I did today.

I chanced a glance over my shoulder as I loped over to the door, frowning as I realized I couldn't see her face. As I cleared the door I yelled "Please give me a chance to explain Edward. She is my life now. I'll do anything. I'll make it up to her, to you!" while still running. I knew they would hear me. When I hit the tree line I phased and started running.

That's when it hit me.

I tried to murder my imprint!

I wanted the whole reason for my existence dead! What the hell was I thinking! What the fuck is wrong with me? I don't deserve to even breathe the same air as her after what I did! How will I ever be able to make it up to her? The Cullens will never let me see her again, and they shouldn't. They will most likely come for me to rip me to shreds! I deserved everything I have coming to me after what I tried to do to her. I'm supposed to be her protector, her best friend, her brother, anything she needed me to be. Instead, I'm the one she needed to be protected from. I want to die.

I felt like throwing up and was having trouble breathing. I realized how fast I was running and started to slow down. I became aware of the voices screaming in my head….

…"What the hell Jacob! Don't you ever say you wanna die! So you tried to kill a leech, that's what we were born to do!........

…."Leah! Not helping! Jake man, it's gonna be okay. You didn't hurt her. You stopped right?! It'll be okay man. Were coming to you"………

Crap. My pack, Seth and Leah. I stopped where I was and phased back, not wanting them in my head anymore. In all myself loathing I forgot to check who was phased. Thank God it's just us three in my pack. I could not deal with the whole wolf-pack in my head right now. Well, Sam the other alpha could hear me, but only when I wanted him to. Thanks for small favors. I just needed to think. I could already feel the tugging pain in my chest drawing me back to the Cullen's house, back to her. Fuck! I didn't even know her name, Renme? Renma? Something like that I think. I kinda remember Bella saying something weird like that when she saw her baby. Wow, some imprinter I am. I tried to kill her and I can't even remember her name! If it didn't hurt so damn much it would almost be funny how I went from calling her "it" and "demon spawn" and trying to murder her, to realizing she was a baby girl, a baby girl that had the most beautiful chocolate brown eyes like her mom. A baby girl that was so important to me it took my breath away and made my chest hurt to imagine not being a part of her life.

Was this some sort of cosmic joke for going after a girl that was taken? Is this my karma for tricking Bella to kiss me when I knew she was engaged? I imprint on their daughter who is a vampire, although I don't know how much, my mortal enemy.

Still, no matter the cause or reason I could not find one single fiber in my being that regrets imprinting on that little baby. If I didn't feel like I wanted to die for what I did to her I could almost smile at just the thought of her face and eyes. I can see them clear as day every time I close my eyes. Burnt into the back of my eyelids as I'm sure they would be for the rest of my life. However long or now short, that may be.

I heard rustling of leaves around me and felt the vibrations in the air. I was lying curled up on my side with my knees pulled up all the way to my chest when they approached me. I slowly opened my eyes to see Leah and Seth staring down at me. Seth looked at me with pity in his eyes. Leah with disgust.

"Wow Jacob, you look like shit!" Leah was the first to speak. Of course you can always count on her to say something bitchy. That's Leah, President of the "I hate the world and everyone in it" club.

"Geez Leah! Not now, please." Seth said as he moved forward and crouched down closer to my level. "Man Jake…." He trailed off as he met my eyes with a look of sympathy. He reached out and put a hand on my shoulder giving me a half smile and said "I don't know how, but this will work out. It'll be okay Jake. Don't give up yet Mr. Alpha." That's Seth for you, Leah's polar opposite, the eternal optimist. He is the happiest and most genuinely good person I know and in that second I had never been more thankful that I knew him. I made a decision right then as his words sunk in.

I would not give up. I would not give up on her. I had to fight for her because I knew she had to have felt the imprint too. I have seen it so many times in the minds of the imprinted wolves. The pull went both ways. If I gave up I would be hurting her too and I had done enough of that to last a lifetime, or two. I would take whatever I had coming my way but never give up! I would have to be strong.

I slowly pulled myself upright and squared my shoulders. Looking straight at Seth and Leah I said in my Alpha voice "let's go tell the others."

Seth's face lit up with a grin while Leah just rolled her eyes and grunted. With that we all turned towards La Push to go inform the other pack and the tribe that the grandson of Ephraim Black imprinted on a vampire.

AN: This is my first fanfic and my first attempt at writing. I hope it's coming out as I see it in my head

Im kinda wingin it here! Please review and let me know if you think I should keep going or if u have any tips / suggestions it would be awesome!

Thankx!

~J~

*disclaimer posted on my profile*