Title: Drunk

Rating: PG

Characters: Sanji, Zoro, others mentioned

Sanji was very, very drunk. Which is to say he was more drunk than usual - a good part of being a pirate was being in an inebriated state. Something to do with uh, there not being any rules for being pirates. Just ask Shanks.

Anyways, he was drunk. Too bad Nami and Robin weren't in the same state, otherwise he might have gotten some. Not that he didn't try, but Sanji had no luck sober and he sure wasn't on the top of his game now. Maybe he should have seen that coming and not even tried because when he woke up there was going to be hell to pay. Because he hadn't just tried to hit on the girls, everything on the ship was fair game.

First was the captain. "Heeeeey Luffy. So issit true you're all rubber?" He'd started snickering as though he had told the best joke ever and wandered off before the black haired boy could even figure out what was going on.

Next was Ussop. "So is your nose only for aiming? Cause I can think of some other uses for it." Unlike their idiot captain, the sharpshooter kinda got what the drunk cook was aiming for and inched away until he'd gotten a good distance from him. Then he ran.

Last was Zoro. "Oy, marimo head." He staggered over to the other and sat down, taking a few attempts to do so.

The first mate cocked an eye brow at the other, wondering what exactly was going on. Wasn't often Sanji spoke to him, even drunk. "So, I was thinking..." Sanji trailed off, fuddled brain trying to figure out what to say next. Too bad the words weren't coming to him. "Uh, so how about sex?" TO him, that might as well have been poetry.

Zoro was less than amused. "Like hell. Go to bed." The blond decided to take his words literally, eyes half closed as he leaned against Zoro's shoulder. "God, you're a pain in the ass." Grumbling to himself, he picked the smaller man up and threw him over his shoulder, taking him downstairs to the men's quarters.

Sanji was rather special when he was very, very drunk.

A/N: Had to write a story about a drunk character, where sex didn't happen. XD