Pain. Searing, unimaginably excruciating pain. This is all I could feel when I awoke from unconsciousness. I sat up to take in my environment, but couldn't sit more than a quarter of the way up. I clenched my teeth in frustration, but couldn't because of the gag in my mouth. I'd seen enough Saw movies to know that this was not the best of situations to be in. The room was pitch black, probably for the better. Who knows what horrid things could be in here. I tried with all my strength to free myself from the bindings, to no avail. A cold hand came into contact with my skin, and pulled out my gag.

"Keep still, the pain will pass shortly. The worst part is over." a feminine soothing voice reassured me.

"I don't want to die. Why are you doing this to me?" I asked hoarsely.

"I'm not going to kill you. I'm saving you. You're lucky I found you when I did, that car accident would have killed you."

Now I was confused. She had me strapped to a table and told me she was saving me? I don't think so. Who would strap a person they're "supposedly" saving to a table and let them suffer? I hate to steal Stan's phrase, but this shit right here is getting pretty fucked up and fast.

"Fine, if you're saving me why isn't my broken leg in a cast? And why am I not in a hospital? And thirdly, where the fuck am I?" I shrieked in exasperation.

"All of that will be explained to you shortly. Here, open your mouth and drink this. Don't ask me what it is, because I'm not going to tell you." she said as she pulled out a cup.

"I'm not drinking that."

"Do you want to make me get my brother? He's not exactly thrilled you're here, and he is nowhere near as kind as I am. Either drink this or he'll make you drink it."

I opened my mouth to drink the liquid. Sure, I had no idea what it was, but what choice did I have. I'm not gonna lie, the stuff tasted pretty damn good. The best part of it was it took the edge off of my pain.

"There, that wasn't so difficult, was it?" she asked, took the cup, and walked toward the door.

"Bitch." I muttered under my breath.

"I'm the bitch who's saving your ass. If I were you I'd keep my mouth shut." she said sternly and slammed the door shut.

________________________________________________________________________

"Ok guys, Kyle has been missing for three days now. We need to find him, and we need to find him fast." Stan addressed a group of peers. "Kyle can't "sleep over at Kenny's house" forever."

"Not to be rude, but why should I give a shit about that ginger Jew rat? All he does is spread his Jew germs around town." he was then hit several times. "Ay, Kenny that's a bad Kenny!"

"This isn't funny Cartman!" Stan screamed. "Do I have to remind you how boring your life was when he moved to San Francisco? If I were you I'd keep your fat, fucking mouth shut!"

"God damn, Stan, you really need to get all that sand out of your vagina. I bet South Park could have its own beach with how much is up yours."

"Stan's right, Fatass. If we don't find him soon, then all of our moms are find out about our illegal hobby." Craig butted in. "I suggest we split up into groups of five and check everywhere in that ravine."

"Ok, so split up and meet back here at six. That gives us four hours. Each of you take a flare gun. If you find him, then fire it. The rest of us will join you." Informed Stan as Cartman raised his hand. "Yes, Cartman?"

"If we find his dead body, covered with maggots, and decomposing, does that count as finding him?"

At this point Kenny became so outraged he pulled his hood off. "Dude, that's not fucking cool! We're all worried about Kyle. You won't admit it, but you are too. If you make one more comment like that I'll go Old Mexican Guerilla Style on you!" a pissed off Kenny stated.

"What the fuck is Old Mexican Guerilla Style?"

"That's when I take you up to a tree, tie a rope around your balls, and push you off. Not only will your balls be ripped off, but you'll bleed to death! All it takes is one more comment. I dare you fat boy." Silence. "That's what I thought, fuckwit!"

All the boys were eyeing Kenny in total shock with their mouths wide open and in fear of what their friend could possibly imagine doing.

"Ok, so let's break into groups of five and head out. Remember, back here at six."