A/N: Hi everyone, thank you so much for the lovely response to this story. I wish I could tell you it was a delightful little jaunt into fairyland that flowed onto the page, but it wasn't. This began as an idle daydream during a slow day at work, and proceeded to give me hell for the next seven months. I've obsessed, ignored, sweated, and finally said it is what it is. I still don't think it's up to the standard I'd like it to be (what writer's work ever is?), and honestly I've thought about it so much I've lost all opinion of it. I've swung between thinking it's genius and being convinced it's unreadable so often I can't view it objectively. So here it is for you, and you are welcome to think of it as you wish.
Lily knew that it simply wasn't sustainable to continue living off restaurant food, so Monday afternoon found her wandering the aisles at the local Waitrose. Just as she reached for a carton of almond milk, she heard the last sound in the world she ever would have expected.
"Lily!"
She dropped the cooler door, which landed with a dull smack on her outstretched hand, frozen in its quest for almond milk. Whirling about in search of the source of the disturbance, she spied James Potter—of all people!—striding towards her, looking unfairly cool despite the recent burst of unseasonable heat.
"James! Hi."
He smiled warmly. "Hi." He shuffled his feet, reached up to scratch the back of his neck, blushed. "It's nice to see you."
"Yeah, ah, nice to see you too," she faltered. There was an awkward silence, Lily could feel her own blush creeping up her cheeks as she remembered their parting three nights earlier. He hadn't made any move then to see her again. In fact, in the extensive and minute review she had conducted of their date over the past two and a half days, she had found absolutely no evidence that he, James Potter, ever had been attracted to or interested in her, Lily Evans. He had even admitted that Sirius dared him to ask her out. It had only been her blind vanity that led her to hope for more. Blind vanity, and the fact that she'd had a raging crush on him for over a year.
But you weren't exactly encouraging, the imp in the back of her mind chortled gleefully.
Shut up! She snapped back at it.
"So," James broke into her thoughts. "You're still in Glasgow. How are you enjoying it?"
"Huh? Oh, it's nice. There's lots to see."
"Yeah, there is. It's a great city," he enthused.
Having exhausted that topic of conversation, silence descended once more. Lily couldn't bring herself to meet James's gaze, while he rocked back and forth on his heels and ran a hand through his hair, a trademark gesture apparently.
Lily had never been more ashamed of herself or embarrassed in her life, and that included the time she was responsible for a gondolier falling overboard in Venice, and the time she accidentally caused a donkey-drawn cart of produce to run amuck in Greece. No, she wished right now that the floor would open up and swallow her whole, all because she fancied a boy with messy black hair and roguish hazel eyes.
James decided to give talking another go. "Where are you staying?"
Grow a spine, Evans, Lily chastised herself sharply. "At a guest house, just up from the Botanical Gardens."
Pleased to have elicited a genial response, James smiled broadly. "Oh, that sounds grand! Nicer than a hotel, I'm guessing. Have you been to the gardens yet?"
"Yesterday. They're beautiful." Lily was profoundly relieved to hear conversation flowing more readily. James could really talk when he wanted, and she was determined to hold up her end of the dialogue.
"I haven't been there in years," he commented. "Just gotten so busy, you know. I moved here for work, and sometimes I wish I had a little more time to enjoy where I live."
"You must be incredibly busy about now. You wrap filming on season three soon, don't you?"
"Yeah, we're headed into our last block."
"Do you have any other projects scheduled in the next year?"
"Ah, yes, but, I can't really say…" He hesitated awkwardly.
Lily blushed again. "Right, of course. I'm so sorry; I'm prying."
"No, no," he hastened to assure her. "I don't mind. It's just—NDA's and all."
For the third time, neither of them knew what to say. Lily could have thrown herself off a cliff. It had been going so well, and she had ruined it. Again. Really, what was the point of fancying a bloke if all it did was make a fool out of you?
James, ever the gentleman, cleared his throat. "Well, I should, uh, probably let you go. I'm sure you have plans to be somewhere."
The reluctance and disappointment evident in his voice finally pulled Lily's focus off her own struggle. It occurred to her that the entire situation wasn't the most comfortable for James either. "Not really," she replied gently. "I'm just—wandering today. What about you?"
"I have the rest of the day off, actually."
"That must be nice!"
"Yeah, it doesn't happen often."
"No, I guess not." She took a deep breath. "It was really nice seeing you again," she offered.
He brightened. "Yeah, you too! I enjoyed dinner the other night."
"So did I!"
"Really?" He sounded—hopeful?
"Yes, very much."
"Because, near the end, I wasn't sure you had," he admitted shyly. "You got all sort of, closed off. I thought maybe I upset you somehow."
Lily's heart went out to him. "Oh my gosh, no! It was my fault. I just—I got all freaked out in my head about why you would ask me out and—I'm so sorry. You were completely lovely and—I just wasn't sure what to make of it."
"Really?" he asked again, gently.
"Really," she answered, green eyes answering the question asked by hazel ones.
They were quiet again, but this time there was no awkwardness.
"Would you like to grab a coffee sometime?"
Lily smiled. "I would like that."
"Great! Today, maybe? It's just—I'm not sure when I'll have a free afternoon again."
"Sure," she agreed. "I just need to finish my shopping and take it back to my room. Where would you like to meet?"
"How about the same place I dropped you off? Around 3:00?"
"That works just fine."
"Okay, I'll see you then." He was nearly bouncing up and down with excitement.
"See you then." She turned on her heel and walked swiftly around the corner, where she paused, hand to her chest, gasping for breath. After a moment, and after quelling the impulse to peek around the shelving to see if James was still there, she smiled—a secret exultation, as though her heart crept to her lips without her knowing. Then she walked on, all thoughts of almond milk forgotten.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
It would have been ridiculous to change before meeting James; he would notice and she would look pathetic, like she was trying too hard. Lily thanked whatever stars were responsible that the warmer weather had led her to choose her blue sundress and linen espadrilles that morning. What had seemed a bit much for aimless wandering and grocery shopping was suddenly completely apropos.
With trembling hands, Lily smoothed her long, dark red hair over her shoulder and reached for the door handle. James was already there, seated in an easy chair in the corner, an absent, thoughtful expression on his face as he stared out the window.
Lily watched him for a moment, taking in the clean lines and angles of his lean face, the confident set of his shoulders, the way his foot tapped to the music without his being aware of it. She sighed. Everything about him spoke of a man who was assured of himself and his place in the world. She envied him that knowledge, and the confidence that came with it.
Then he turned, saw her, smiled, his whole face lighting up. She gave him a tiny wave and began the arduous process of picking her way through the already packed tables to the slightly more secluded corner he had chosen. When she reached him, he stood and gave her a quick hug before offering her a seat.
"Thanks," she said. "But I'll go order first. Be right back."
"Right, yeah, of course."
When she returned, he was on the phone, but smiled in apology and held up one finger, indicating he'd be done in a minute. She smiled and gestured for him to take his time. She sat in the chair next to his and carefully set her tea on the table between them.
"Yes, yes, I know," he was saying. "And I promise I'll be there. Uh-huh, uh-huh, yeah, got it. Look, I really have to go. No, I have to—okay. Alright." Long pauses punctuated these remarks as the voice on the other end of the line chattered away without cessation. Finally, James rolled his eyes and broke in. "Look, Peter, we all got the invitations a month ago, and the reminder cards last week. I'll be there. We can hash out details later, okay? But right now, I really have to go. Bye."
He ended the call with a vicious stab before sagging into his chair in relief. Then he laughed. "I am so sorry about that. My mate, he's having a massive party for another friend of ours. I mean, I get that it's a big deal that Remus graduated from law school, but Peter's taking the party more seriously than Remus took school, and that's saying something."
Unsure how to respond, Lily smiled vaguely and reached for her tea.
"So," James began. "How long are you in Scotland?"
"I don't know. Indefinitely. I was thinking about a month."
"A month is a long time for a holiday."
Lily shrugged. "Time was what I wanted, and I'd never been to Glasgow. But now—" She broke off.
"Now?" He prompted, leaning forward.
She bit her lip, thinking. "I remembered travelling with friends. It's—different—alone."
"Not as fun?"
Lily stared into her cup for a long moment. "I don't know," she answered slowly. "In some ways, yes, because I am alone. But, at the same time, I'm not tied to anyone else's schedule or waiting for the shower in the morning." She smiled lightly. "It's just different. And I need to give myself time to adjust before deciding whether or not I like it."
"Fair point. Are you staying close to the city or exploring further away?"
The conversation moved easily from there, as Lily moved from her current travels to her travels in Europe, James asking leading questions to keep her talking and occasionally sharing relevant stories of his own.
As she talked, James casually reached for her phone, sitting next to his beside their long empty cups. She raised her eyebrows questioningly, halting in the middle of a tale about getting hopelessly lost in Casablanca.
"Go on," James encouraged. "Don't mind me."
Lily stumbled to pick up the thread of her story as James tapped away for a minute. Then, setting it back on the table, he picked up his own phone, still paying perfect attention to Lily.
A second later, Lily's phone buzzed. She leaned forward, and saw a text from James P. Up went the eyebrows again; this time James only smiled politely. Sighing, Lily opened the text.
Having a lovely time, it read. But the cameras are getting rather curious.
Glancing about the shop—casually of course—Lily noticed no fewer than three lenses trained on them. Her phone buzzed again.
Fancy a stroll? I know a lovely garden…lots of tall hedges…
She answered quickly. Just text me the directions.
James stood with overexaggerated courtesy and offered his hand. Shaking hers vigorously, he said loudly, "Very pleased to meet you Miss Evans. Do let me know how I can assist your organization in the future."
Startled, Lily gaped at him. At his sharp look, she gasped out, "Thank you for your time. We at—" she spied a stack of magazines on a table nearby. "Horse & Hound appreciate it."
His face flushed with supressed laughter and his lips pressed into a thin line to avoid grinning. "My pleasure, as always."
With much ceremony, he took his leave, and Lily sat a few minutes longer, scribbling in a notebook to perpetuate the ruse. When James's directions appeared on her screen, she gathered her things and exited the shop with as much dignity as she could muster, thankful that no cameras were in sight.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
"Horse & Hound?!" was the first question out of James's mouth when Lily stepped out of a cab half an hour later. "Are you mad?" was the second.
She laughed. "It was the first thing I saw!" she defended herself. "Besides, don't I get points for being able to keep up with your little charade back there?"
James turned and began walking slowly down a long gravel avenue lined with oak trees; Lily falling into step beside him. "Points, definitely, lots of points. All the points to Lily. But," his tone turned grieved. "Did it have to be Hugh Grant's cover from Notting Hill?"
Lily burst out laughing. "It was! I completely forgot!" It was several moments before she regained control. Once she had, she mused, "It's been ages since I last watched that."
"What, you don't watch it once a month at wine night with your girlfriends?" he jibed.
She wrinkled her nose. "Not always a Hugh Grant fan. Some roles, yes; other roles…" she left the sentence hanging delicately.
"I totally get it! I mean, is he even capable of getting a sentence out without taking a bloody week to do it?"
Lily beamed. "Thank you! I've never understood the whole stuttering idiot appeal. And Julia Roberts, who I'm sure is perfectly lovely, sounds practically vulgar next to even the slightest hint of a British accent. Any accent, really."
"The pacing felt off too. That whole era, and their quiet romantic movies, it didn't always work. Like You've Got Mail. I love Tom Hanks but that is a terrible movie."
"But," Lily countered. "When it did, it really did. Sleepless in Seattle."
"Touché. Also Tom Hanks. That's interesting."
"Why, James Potter, I had no idea you were a fan of romantic comedies." She teased airily.
He blushed and swatted at a fly buzzing sluggishly around his head. "Oh, my mum loved them, so I've seen a lot. Want to see the bridge?"
The abrupt change of subject caught Lily off guard, but she merely smiled and nodded, following James's lead.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
"And that's how I ended up in a dodgy lift with the lights flickering, holding a turkey carcass in a garbage bag."
Lily laughed until she couldn't breathe. "You have to be making that up!"
"Nope. All of a sudden I looked down at that bag in my hands and thought, how on earth did I end up here?"
"Was it worth it?"
"Completely. A good prank always is. Don't tell me you didn't pull the odd prank back in the day."
Lily smiled demurely.
"What, never?"
She shook her head.
James shook his head too. "I don't believe you. You're hiding something, Lily Evans. Oh well. Someday you'll tell me."
Lily pulled up short. "Someday?"
Instantly, James's eyes widened, his face paling under its tan. For seven long, agonizing seconds, hazel and green eyes locked. Then James squared his shoulders and cleared his throat.
Summoning his courage, one corner of his mouth tipping in an adorable, vulnerable grin. "Yeah. Well, I mean, you're here for a while, and I thought, maybe, you know, if you don't mind—we've gotten on pretty well so far, and—" at this point he ran out of words and simply stood in red-faced silence.
"It's okay, I know what you meant," Lily offered gently.
"Oh, good. That's—good."
Lily looked around her, simply so she would stop staring at him, and saw that they had walked around the entire garden and arrived back at the front gate. A quick check of her watch told her it was time to go.
"This was nice," she said. "I'm glad we ran into each other."
"Me too," he said softly, still watching her curiously.
She stepped to the sidewalk and hailed a passing cab.
"Wait," he called. "I'll see you later?"
She opened the cab door and looked back over her shoulder at him, managing a playful grin. "That's entirely up to you now, isn't it?"
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Lily never really expected him to contact her again. Sure, he had put his number into her phone, and he had expressed a wish to see her again, but she still couldn't believe that it actually meant anything. Especially when the big news two days later was his appearance at a gala and benefit with Daisy Ridley. That was the kind of girl that got a call back, for movie roles and dates.
His friend had dared him to ask her out the first time, Lily reminded herself after reading that article. And if they hadn't run into each other at the grocery store, they probably never would have seen each other again. Ever. So even after dinner, and coffee, and a very pleasant stroll around Pollok Park, Lily went hot and cold and numb all over when his name showed up on her screen three days after said coffee and stroll. Calling, not just texting.
She answered, holding the phone to her ear with shaking hands. Chill, she reprimanded herself sharply. He's a regular person, same as anybody. "Hello?"
"Hi, Lily, it's James."
"Hi!"
"Look, I'm hoping you're free next Saturday. And I wondered if you've seen any of Loch Lomond yet."
"You know, I haven't gotten up that way yet, but I've been wanting to."
"Great!" He hesitated. "Um, would you maybe like to go with me?"
The uncertainty, the hope in his voice, was palpable. Lily sank into a chair, knees weak. He was really asking her out, for real. Her, Lily Evans. And if he was this apprehensive about it, then he really was the same as the next person out there, and there was no reason for her to be nervous.
"I'd really like that, and yes, I'm free Saturday," she answered.
She heard him take a deep breath, and suddenly realized just how much tension had been carrying through the phone. "That's great. I'm glad. Mornings are just amazing on the loch; I could pick you up around—ten?"
She smiled. "If mornings are amazing, we should probably see it in the morning. By ten it'll feel like afternoon."
He laughed, a low, rumbling chuckle that made it suddenly very difficult to breathe properly. "Well, yeah, but I wasn't sure how early you'd want to get up on a weekend."
"Oh, don't worry about that, I'm up by six normally anyway." It was true; even after two weeks of vacation, her body was routinely waking her by her old schedule.
"Wow, really? Okay, well, can you be ready by 7:00? I was thinking of heading out to Balmaha, and that takes about an hour, so we'd be on the water by eight or so."
"That sounds perfect." She quickly gave him the address, and they said their goodbyes. The phone went black, then flipped back to the home screen, a picture of her with friends in Venice. Lily sat there for a while, just looking at it. She was itching to call someone, tell someone what was going on. But she couldn't. Some gut instinct warned her to keep quiet. If it never went anywhere, nobody would ever be the wiser, and there would be no embarrassment. And if it did…but she didn't let herself think about that.