More Things Wrong With Twilight
Possessiveness is not "hot" or "romantic". It's sexist.
The plot has more holes than Swiss cheese. Google it. I'm not kidding.
If Edward has no pulse, and no blood, how could he possibly get an erection?
If vampires cease to grow completely, then their cells no longer go through mitosis. Even assuming that none of their existing cells die, there is no way Edward would be able to produce semen.
Even if Edward did go out in the sun in New Moon, no one would know he was a vampire, because vampires die in the sun, not sparkle. They would just think he got lost on his way to a Gay Pride Parade.
It takes place in high school, but you never hear about Bella's grades, nor do you ever see her studying. Apparently though, she does well in school. Somehow.
Having vampires drink animal blood is cheating. And a convenient way to keep Edward from having a flaw (gasp!).
Stephenie Meyer can't take criticism, so don't expect her writing to get any better.
Apparently, her parents can't spell either. "Stephenie". Really? Were they trying to be unique or some ridiculous thing or did they just fail elementary school? For the record, spell-check agrees with me.
Apparently Twilight is better than The Princess Bride because, and I quote, "Buttercup is an idiot and it doesn't bother anyone, all that matters is that she's beautiful". Okay. Even if we ignore the fact that Buttercup hated her beauty, and Wesley loved her for her personality, how the fuck does that explain Bella, hmm? Because we all know Edward fell in love with that delightful personality of hers. And Bella is so intelligent it takes her over two hundred pages it figure out Edward is a vampire.
Apparently, Romeo and Juliet were "idiots", because they fell in love when they "didn't know each other very well". Gee, I wonder why that sounds familiar.
Not even Robert Pattinson likes the book.
This girl is awesome. She asked Meyer, at a book signing, wondering "how she could write such an anti-feminist main character and if she wasn't ashamed of herself for letting young girls read her misogynist works." Meyer said she didn't understand the question, and promptly ignored it.
The author. I don't even know where to begin.
Because Stephenie Meyer doesn't do critisim, she doesn't do editing either. Take this example from page 3 of Twilight- "My mother drove me to the airport with the windows rolled down. It was seventy-five degrees in Phoenix, the sky a perfect, cloudless blue. I was wearing my favorite shirt-sleeveless, white eyelet lace; I was wearing it as a farewell gesture. My carry-on item was a parka.". Once I used "was" that many times on a draft of a one-page English essay. My English 1 teacher gave me a B for that. English 1!
Countless other grammar errors. Just google it.
We loose hair on a daily basis. If the vampires don't regenerate new cells, their hair doesn't grow. Thusly, Edward should, technically, be bald.
Jacob can't get with Bella, so he goes for her daughter. No, of course that's not strange.
Clouds don't block UV rays. Apparently, though, they do in Forks.
Carlisle is a vampire who, by choice, works at a hospital where he is constantly surrounded by blood. In Meyer's head, this makes perfect sense.
Edward said he was interested in Bella because he couldn't read her mind. I have a new theory. He could, but it was silent because NOTHING GOES ON UP THERE.
I saw this online. Bella Swan = B.S. So true. In so many ways.
"Jacob" means supplanter. "Bella" means pretty. Edward means "wealthy guardian". Real creative.
The fact that I will be posting more Twilight fails within the next week and I still have countless other observations to make.