It was almost a week before Sarah opened the package from her friend, she'd all but forgotten about it after that incident with Malfoy. It had just sat in her bag, waiting expectantly. She pulled it out now with shaking hands, looking around the Common Room to make sure that she was truly alone. The Marauders had helped her to start laughing again, and little by little she felt herself returning to the person that she used to be, before……well, that thought could come later.
Slowly she unwrapped the plain brown paper, and out fell a Muggle tape recorder and a note. She looked at it quizzically, wondering what the hell Jessica was doing sending her one of these; she knew that Muggle devices didn't work on school grounds. She unfolded the note, reading the neat script that was Jessica's.
Dear Sarah,
Long time no hear, right? You sort of disappeared from everyone's radar after…well, you know what I'm talking about. From the few letters that I did receive from you, it sounded like you haven't properly grieved yet. So, me being my usual brilliant self, have fixed this Muggle recorder thing to work magically, and have placed a song in it that should help you to start healing. Write back to me okay? I miss you terribly, especially at that certain time of month. This last one just wasn't the same without you.
Your friend for life,
Jessica
Sarah pushed the play button, tears welling up in her eyes as the haunting piano began playing the introduction to the song.
I'm so tired of being here,
Suppressed by all my childish fearsAnd if you have to leaveI wish that you would just leave'Cause your presence still lingers hereAnd it won't leave me alone
The words brought back that day so clearly. Her first day back from school. Her brother had been waiting for her, as he had every summer, with a welcome home banner and junk food. She was always so happy to see him. They were siblings after all, and even the fact that she was a witch and he wasn't would never drive them apart. But a knife had. Driven home by that woman. Angry, hateful tears welled up in her eyes as she remembered the look of psychotic joy on her step-mothers face.These wounds won't seem to healThis pain is just too realThere's just too much that time cannot eraseWhen you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
The tears spilled over as she remembered the way that she had just stood there, unable to move even as her brothers dying body fell forward onto her. She vaguely recalled hearing her fathers strangled cry from behind her, and then seeing him lunge at the woman he was supposed to have loved.You used to captivate meBy your resonating lightNow I'm bound by the life you left behindYour face it hauntsMy once pleasant dreamsYour voice it chased awayAll the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to healThis pain is just too realThere's just too much that time cannot erase
She hadn't been the same since. She withdrew from everything, all her friends, her joys. She became quiet, introverted. She hadn't even gone flying over the summer, one of the things that she loved to do most of all. Jess was right, she hadn't properly mourned yet. Because she couldn't. Not until she accepted that he was really gone. And she had yet to be able to do that.When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tearsWhen you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fearsI held your hand through all of these yearsBut you still haveAll of meI've tried so hard to tell myself that you're goneAnd though your still with meI've been alone all along
Her crying must have attracted someone, or she wasn't as alone in the common room as she thought, for she felt a pair of strong arms encircle her, and the warmth and strength of Sirius surrounded her. He didn't ask any questions, he just let her hang onto him as though her life depended on it, which it most likely did. Not so much her life as her soul.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tearsWhen you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fearsI held your hand through all of these yearsBut you still haveAll of me
She cried herself to sleep in his arms, and eventually Sirius fell asleep as well. He knew that the wards around the girls dorms would prevent him from carrying her to bed, and there was no way he was going to leave her on the couch alone. He briefly considered bringing her up to his room, for he knew very well that girls could enter it, but somehow he felt that wouldn't be right. So he just held her, shifting their bodies slightly so that they were a little more comfortable. He desperately wanted to know what it was that made her so sad, but knew that it would have to wait. When she was ready, she would tell him.
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Sarah awoke the next morning having slept better than she had in months. At first she couldn't figure out why, and then her sleep fogged brain finally realized that her pillow was not soft like she was used to, but very firm. She blinked her eyes and looked up into the sleeping face of Sirius, who had his arm wrapped protectively around her. His breathing was deep and even, and she rose slightly with his chest with each breath he took.
She began to get up carefully, not wanting to disturb him, but his arm tightened around her and kept her close as he began to wake up.
"Didn't think you'd get away from me that easily, did you?" He asked groggily, giving her the most dashing smile that he could seeing as he was still half asleep. It made Sarah's heart race and she blushed, looking down. He shifted himself so that they were both sitting up, his arm still around her. "Want to talk about it?" He asked gently. She shook her head.
"Not here." She managed to say softly. He kissed the top of her head.
"Okay. When you're ready." He stood up, pulling her up with him after taking hold of her hand. "It doesn't sound like anyone else is up yet, you should be able to convince them that you just came in a little late, as opposed to spending the night somewhere else. I don't want to tarnish your reputation after all." He said with a smirk that made her blush some more. She covered it up with a smile and punched his arm before heading into her dorm. Sirius continued to smirk at her retreating back. Ever since they had gotten her to open up he had loved to push her buttons whenever he could. She was just so adorable when she was riled up.
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Sarah sat by herself at the lunch table, seeing as she had gotten out of class early, and tapped her Muggle pen against her chin. The boys and Lily had yet to arrive, and she got to enjoy one of those rare moments when the Great Hall was silent, with only the murmuring of a few students and professors that had gotten there early. This pen that she was using most definitely wasn't the norm for the Wizarding World, but it was Jess that she was writing to, and it was Jess who had given her this pen and several others like it for Christmas last year. Each one held a different colored ink and had glitter in it, hence, the reason that it was special. She had chosen the black sparkly one for this letter, hoping that Jess would get the idea that she was still sad but starting to move on. She began writing.
Dear Jess,
Thanks much for your present and letter; you're right, I hadn't really mourned yet. I think that I've been in shock since it happened, and that song you sent brought me out of it. Don't worry about me to much, I've met some really great people over here that you would absolutely adore (especially one of the boys, but I'll play matchmaker a little later). I'm really sorry that I wasn't there for our monthly gatherings, I found that I missed it these last few months.
James and Lily are so completely in love it's not even funny. Though James keeps doing stupid things and she threatens to break up with him because of them, so he's always apologizing and groveling at her feet. Apparently he's been after her since first year and they only started dating over the summer so he does not want to mess this up. Remus, Sirius, and Peter have been telling me all the things that James has done over the years in trying to capture Lily's heart, and some of them are truly hilarious.
Speaking of hilarious you should see some of the girls when Sirius decides to give them flirtatious looks. I'm surprised that some of them haven't passed out completely from swooning so much, though a few have come pretty close. Remus would have just as many girls if he pulled his nose out of the books once in a while and paid attention to them, but I have so far not had any luck getting him to put that theory into practice (he's the one that I think you would most adore. Wink wink nudge nudge). But I have gotten Peter to start looking at this Hufflepuff fifth year that I had noticed was blushing whenever she saw him and after doing a little digging found that she had a crush on him and began to work my 'magic' with Peter. Very subtle of course since James and Sirius go a bit overboard with teasing him, so I'm trying to keep it as low key as possible for the moment.
Speaking of Sirius, I don't know what to make of him. Not only my own feelings but the way he acts. He is soooo cute and can be really sweet, and he has energy to spare. There are times when I think that he has eyes only for me, but then he goes and starts flirting with his fan club and I just don't know what to do. How come I can get everyone else into a relationship and still fail at my own?
Much confused and missing you like crazy,
Sarah
Sarah folded the parchment and put Jess's name on it just as the boys arrived for lunch.
"What's that?" Sirius asked as he wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her shoulder and causing a slight shiver to run through her at his contact.
"A pen." She said lightly as she stuck both pen and letter in her bag before he could grab them, which he had tried to do every time that he caught her writing. He pouted adorably, but sat down and began loading his plate with food, keeping his arm around her waist. She began making her own sandwich, trying very hard to keep her cool even though every fiber of her skin was screaming 'He's touching me! He's touching me!'. Remus sat down at the table, but before he could fill his plate he looked at the entrance to the Great Hall and his eyes went wide.
"Hey, Remus, what's up?" James asked, then looked to the entrance with the others. His mouth dropped open, along with Sirius's and Lily's. Remus just looked at Sarah, who gave him a bright smile. Peter was walking into the Great Hall holding hands and talking quietly with the above mentioned Hufflepuff girl, a certain Alicia Abbott. Remus smiled while Lily and Sarah elbowed their respective guys before they could start the cat calling. Sarah gave Peter a wink and thumbs up when he looked over, and he looked immensely relieved not to be embarrassed by his friends in public.
"What was that for?" Sirius whined once he'd gotten his breath back.
"You can tease him in the Common Room later, leave him be for now." Sarah said lightly, but gave him the hard look that they had all learned meant 'don't try anything or else'. Sirius and James immediately quieted down, but all through lunch they kept sneaking glances at the new couple while Sarah, Lily, and Remus held a lively conversation about their Ancient Runes class.
Unnoticed by them a perfectly manicured figure was watching the group interact, more specifically watching a certain female transfer student. He couldn't get over how she had snubbed him. HIM! She had dared to snub him! She should have been groveling at his feet for even deigning to notice her. The filthy little mud-blood. And she had gone even further by taking pride in her heritage! What did she have to be proud of? She was born from Muggles, and everyone knew that they were filthy little animals.
If he hadn't been ordered by his father to befriend her, with only the explanation that she could be invaluable to their Lord, then he wouldn't have spoken to her in the first place. But he had his task and he must complete it, loath though he was to do so. Unfortunately she was always surrounded by those blood traitors Black and Potter, not to mention that Mudblood Evans and Lupin. He didn't see Peter as much of a threat since the little wimp tended to hide behind the taller boys, but he had seen what Evans could do with a wand and despite Lupin's quiet demeanor there was just something…off about him that Lucious's instincts told him to stay away from.
They were all so infuriating, laughing and being happy. How disgusting. But they would see. They would all come to see.
Lucius smirked, and the few students still sitting near him immediately left. They knew that smirk, and any Slytherin worth his weight in salt had learned a long time ago to stay far away from the Malfoy heir when he wore that smirk.
8 8 8
"Hey Sarah, I think this is for you." Remus said as he held out a letter that was addressed to him, but was in her friend Jess's handwriting (not to mention the color of the ink was something that Wizards did not usually use. Dead giveaway as to who wrote it). Sarah glanced at it briefly before shaking her head.
"It has your name on it." She answered, then stabbed Sirius lightly in the hand as he tried to steal her toast. He whined pitifully while Remus just looked at her in confusion.
"But it's from your friend." He said, still unwilling to accept that the letter was for him.
"I suggested that she write to you." Sarah said and moved to the other side of Lily so that she could keep her plate away from Sirius permanently. The Black haired boy pouted, but filled his own plate and tucked in with gusto.
"Why?" Remus asked. Sarah shrugged.
"I think that you'll like each other."
"Awww, are you playing matchmaker again?" James asked as he sat down and gave Lily a kiss on the cheek. Sarah looked at him with a completely innocent expression on her face.
"Who me?" She asked, earning laughs from everyone. Remus silently opened the letter as his friends continued to laugh and joke, becoming skeptical when he caught an unmistakable scent from the parchment.
Dear Remus,
Hi, you don't know me personally but I'm sure that you've heard of me from Sarah. She must be somewhat back to normal if she's playing matchmaker, and you must really be something for her to keep dropping hints about you to me. She's incredibly tenacious when it comes to these things, so I figured that I'd get a jump on her and write to you before she cooked up some crazy story to get you to write to me. I've seen her do it. The last couple that she did this to is still together as a matter of fact, so maybe I should have let her make a fool of her self. You all would have gotten a lot of laughs out of her antics.
Anyway, I guess that I should describe myself. I'm 5'4", with dark blonde hair and golden brown eyes which Sarah loves to tease me about. I love to read and prefer to spend cold rainy days curled up with a book in front of the fireplace with a warm cup of hot chocolate. My best friend is Sarah (obviously), she's more like a sister to me than anything else and I can trust her with my darkest secrets. I'm sure that she can tell you more about me, but right now I want to talk about her and this Sirius guy. (Ha! Serious Guy! Not from what I hear! Okay, bad pun.)
Sarah is really starting to have feelings for him, but is unsure if he feels the same. The way that she's described it to me, is that he flirts with so many girls it's hard to know if his actions and attitudes towards her are sincere. As his friend I'm sure that you know if he's serious (Sirius!) about her or if she's just one of many. If it's the latter then find a way to let Sarah know so that there's less of a chance of heartbreak for her, she's had enough of that already. If it's the former, then tell his to get off his ass and let her know that he's serious (I will no longer use the bad puns). Maybe help him a little in that department? Anyway, I have to go, class is about over and I won't have time to continue this in my next class.
Hopefully a new friend,
Jessica Wilton
Remus looked up as he finished the letter, looking at Sarah in a slightly different light. He would have to clarify something before he responded to this letter. She glanced up when she felt his eyes on her, and looked at him curiously.
"You okay Remus? I didn't make a mistake in trying to set the two of you up, did I?" She asked, worry in her voice. Remus shook his head as he folded the parchment back up and placed it in his bag.
"I'm all right. Can I talk to you privately?" He did his best to keep any hostility out of his voice. She regarded him silently.
"Yeah, sure." She said and gathered her books, following him out of the Great Hall and into a nearby empty classroom where he silenciod the door. He turned to face her sharply.
"Did you want to set me up with your friend because we're both werewolves?" He hissed out in a whisper despite the silencio charm. Her eyes widened.
"What? Oh God, Remus, no. That is not the reason. I wasn't even positive until now." Remus just looked at her disbelievingly as she ran a hand through her hair. "Okay, look, here's how it happened. I thought that you and Jess would be perfect for each other within days of meeting you. That thought only deepened as I got to know you. It wasn't until after I sent the letter to Jess that I noticed you had some of the same habits around the full moon that she does, but I wasn't going to ask you about it in case you weren't and I offended you. I really don't care that you are, I mean, you hear how I talk about Jess; she's like a sister to me." She looked at him hopefully, and Remus could practically taste the truth in her scent.
"All right, I believe you. I just have to be so guarded; if anyone found out I'd be in big trouble."
"I know, Jess is pretty much the same way most of the time. It took me almost two years to get her to trust me enough for her to tell me. Can I ask how you knew? I doubt that she would have mentioned it in her first letter." Remus touched his finger to his nose.
"A werewolf can tell when there's another werewolf nearby. Her scent was all over the parchment."
"So she'll be able to tell from your scent when you write back to her, right?"
"Who says that I'm going to write back to her?" Remus said with a hint of a smile. Sarah stabbed her finger into his chest.
"You'd better. It took me two letters of hinting and one blunt one to get her to write to you." He held up his hands in defeat.
"Don't worry, I'll write. And yes, she'll catch my scent from my letter." Sarah groaned.
"She's going to think exactly what you thought."
"I'll tell her what you told me."
"Thanks, but I'd better start my own apology anyway." Remus laughed just as the bell rang.
"C'mon, we'd better get going or we'll be late to class."
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