--*

The Ambassador was kind enough to give her – or rather, force her – to take the rest of the day off after they explored the ship. She knew he probably wasn't tired as he claimed to be, but rather wanted her to catch up with an old friend. This was one of the times were she actually wished he hadn't. What was she suppose to say to James? Hayden had never been good at keeping secrets, and the only one she managed to was certainly coming back to bite her. He wouldn't end their friendship, or anything, but he would be disappointed in her.

"Lights, fifty percent."

The last thing she wanted was the room to be as dark as the rest of her life. Even the gentle brightness the lights brought was soothing, and familiar, something she needed desperately. Each minute felt like hours, bringing more and more anxiety into her already stressed, mind.

Her door chimed.

James.

"Uh-mm, come in..?"

Hayden silently chided herself, for sounding…well, fearful. There was no way to tell what was going on in his mind, and while she used to be pretty well at reading his face, that certainly didn't help her now. She heard the gentle buzz of the door opening, and closing, along with his firm footsteps on the lightly carpeted floor.

Better beat him to the punch, girl, otherwise you may never get a word in!

"Look, James, I can explain—"

His hand covered her mouth quickly, and she made a small noise of surprise. He was incredibly close now, she could smell his favorite shampoo and light aftershave. "You don't need to." James cut in swiftly, and took a seat beside her on the bed, causing it to incline somewhat.

"The only thing I want to know is..how? And when, really. I can't even imagine…" His voice trailed, but their thoughts on the sentence were the same.

I can't even imagine being blind.

Except she didn't have to imagine it; now, being blind was her current life, her future, her scar. Where should she begin? Where could she even begin, without babbling one like some old lady recalling the good ol' days? His hand left her mouth, and she sniffled slightly; she wasn't about to cry, or, at least she hoped she wasn't.

"First year at Starfleet. A couple of months before my twentieth birthday…I had already been working with the Ambassador since I was eighteen, though I was still in that 'training' mode. His current translator and I, we were on our way to one of the Gala's that were being held for the embassy, and naturally we would be expected to attend – well, I was invited, but it would be good practice, y'know? Plus I was getting cabin fever with my campus room, so I went. It happened after the party, though." She paused, and swallowed a little wail down her throat; just thinking about it make her start to tremble, and she was enveloped by James' arms soothingly, providing unspoken comfort.

"I shouldn't have asked," He began, his voice low. "You can st-"

"No, James, I wan't you to know." Hayden argued, and he held her tighter. "Some.. .some rebellion jackasses had set one of the glass doors to explode, and it was triggered when we were leaving. I got glass in my eyes and forehead. The doctors removed it all, and said that they could even give me my eyesight back…but I didn't respond to the treatments."

She hadn't even noticed she was crying slightly until he wiped the lazy tears away, and cradled her the way that he used to, whenever she was being clumsy and fell, or walked in on her parents in a dangerous spat. Hayden may not have been able to see him, but she could feel him, and with some awkwardness she managed to hook her arms around him securely; he was her one source of eternal comfort.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't around." Jim's voice was tight, and he buried his face in her hair, an unbelievable feeling of helplessness washing over him. He'd always been there to save her even when she didn't need it – and the one time it could've made a difference, he wasn't there. "I would've kicked those punks asses, in front of everyone."

That thought made her laugh a little, but it was brief, and low.

"Yeah, I know…that's what I told'em."

--

*dream sequence*

"So, what do you think?" Lidia asked excitedly, bouncing on her toes like a puppy.

I laughed, and nudged her in the shoulder. "It's…fancy. Never thought a country girl like me would even see the outside of stuff this nice." She snickered, and instantly linked arms with me, moving us away from the Ambassador – he was conversing with other Denobulans; there was no need for us to be around at the moment.

"Oh, hush. Starfleet is nice."

"That's a different kind of nice, like, professional, life-changing nice. This is…fuck, it's like something out a fairytale."

The whole place had a champagne gold glow, with banners of the finest silk and sheer, highlighting the curves of the room. Jewel-like sparkles were stuck on the ceiling, creating a mood like the night sky, when all the stars were out; it shimmered off the gentle glow of the scattered candles and dimmed lights. Everyone was dressed accordingly; tuxes, dress-robes, gowns, gorgeous kimonos. You name it, someone was wearing it – but the guests looked fabulous, happy, and right at home.

"Well, get used to it girl. You may not be a princess, but you'll feel like one after you hit a couple of these up. I'm getting too old for this – the traveling, I mean. I'm fifty—"

"..and you look fucking great, by the way."

"—yes, thank you." She laughed, before continuing, as we went toward the little bar that was set up. "There are other things I want to pursue; art, nature, maybe even having a steady stream of friends, for a change. You're one of the few good gal-pals I have, who aren't fed up with my traveling, but that's because you come with me sometimes, too."

I knew she was right. Being a translator, and even the assistant to the Ambassador would call for being off Earth, visiting other planets, strengthening galactic connections..hell, even when we didn't leave Earth, we were in other countries.

"But you..you're young! By the time you graduate the Academy you'll be one of the best linguists, I'm sure."

The thought made my hands a little clammy. "Please, Lidia. I've barely started my first year. Who knows? I may decide to change my major. I only know Denobulan because of family connections. It wasn't a first step toward a wise career choice."

"What's your point? You're here now, aren't you?"

I shrugged, and took one of the small glasses of wine. Lidia immediately sent me a little look, and I waved her off innocently. "What? I'm close enough in age – besides, I'm pretty damn mature if I do say so myself."

Lidia laughed and took a glass as well, and held hers up for a toast with mine; I clanked glasses with her, of course, and smiled brightly. "To the future."

"Mine? Or yours?"

"Shut up and drink before I decide to take it."

The rest of the evening went along flawlessly; we mingled with others, with and without Denahi, and had a really good time. Lidia was on alcohol patrol though, and after me trying to sneak another one – a strong Orion brandy – she was determined not to let me get smashed in front of everyone.

"Ladies,"

We turned in unison, our giggling carrying over slightly as we were met by the Ambassador, who looked quite amused himself. "Not getting into trouble, are we?" Pointedly, his gaze landed on me. Instantly I shook my head, and grinned hugely.

"Hell no, sir."

He chuckled smoothly and motioned toward the door with his hand. "Well, it does seem to be getting late. Shall we?"

"Of course," Lidia answered for both of us, since I decided to get distracted by a rather nice looking alien-boy – or maybe it was a girl? Either way: Mmm. Mama like!

She pulled me out of my musings by joining us at the hip again, and pinching my shoulder. "Ow! Okay, okay."

We were all walking in a line, before I pulled up front, in a courteous manner. "Well, since you so kindly opened it on the way in, I'll do the honors on the way out!"

I left no room for interjection, and immediately reached for the door. As soon as my hand connected with the door, the only thing I knew from then on was white-hot pain. It shot from my face down to my toes. I couldn't even tell if I was standing anymore; and I couldn't hear anything either, not really. It was all muffled, but slowly starting to come back.

When I blinked it made me scream, sending even more jolts of pain through my body. But still, I couldn't see; so, I kept blinking, trying to clear my eyes, and every time it did I felt more and more warmth start to seep across my cheeks .

--

Hayden shot up in her bed; breathing heavily, with her heart drumming in her ears. Darkness surrounded her as she opened her eyes and blinked – no pain, but no sight. Her hand reached up tentatively to her face, wiping away a bit of moisture. Had she been crying again? Christ, I don't even remember falling asleep.

Slowly she moved, getting her feet over the side of the bed, and stood. Carefully she felt around, and eventually made her way toward the computer desk, and leaned on it for support.

"Computer – time."

"0400 hours."

Nu-uh. Way too early.

Still, she didn't want to go back to bed. Not after that. With a couple of pats to her body she found she was still in her clothes from the day – fairly nice sweatpants, and a simple tee-shirt. It was only a Starship, so, why not dress down a little? It's not like the clothes were raggedy, or anything.

Letting out a heavy breath she used her hand to guide her to the door, and essentially, her ballet flats. Slipping them on, she decided it would be best to get out of the room for a while; she needed the bright lights and buzz of machines to soothe her right now, to keep her mind off the nightmare her mind plagued her with.

Soundlessly she slipped outside, and was instantly greeted by what she sought. Judging by the hour, she doubted there would be many people in the halls, which was perfect. Hayden walked smoothly, not in any kind of rush, following the wall with her hand as she listened.

She was memorizing her path; each step that was taken, each break in the wall that meant there was another corridor. It certainly had taken a while to getting used to, but now, it was like second nature. One thing Hayden knew was, she didn't want to depend solely on anyone else to live her life – sure, certain things she would need help, but she needed some level of independence, and she would fight for it. Even if it meant getting lost in this ship dozens of times. Which she hoped wouldn't happen, by the way.

Lost in her thought she didn't register the sound of footsteps approaching, and suddenly colliding with another body. She didn't fall, but she heard something hit the ground. "I'm sorry!" She cried softly, a bit flustered by the ordeal.

"Yeah, you—!" The voice sounded angry at first, but then it changed."No, it's fine. I should've been paying more attention. No harm done."

Whoever it was didn't stick around very long after gathering their bearings, and leaving her there, her anger rising. She hated that. Just because she couldn't see automatically made everything alright? A part of her wanted to call after him, and say something, anything, that might get him to yell at her and make her feel normal again.

--

It wasn't unusual for Spock to be up at this hour. With his Vulcan heritage he required less sleep to function properly, and often used it to keep on top of his work, and ensuring that whatever needed to be done was.

His relief had just arrived, and he handed over the controls to the Lieutenant, easily making way toward the tuborlift. When the doors opened again he reveled in the comforting silence of the halls. It was peaceful; it was often fascinating how he managed to find unparalleled peace on the Enterprise.

As his legs began to eat up the distance between him and his room, he picked up a distant conversation. Well, it wasn't really a conversation. Curious – because really, who else was willingly up at this hour? – he went toward it, and was incredibly surprised to find the young woman who traveled with the Ambassador leaning against the wall, looking quite…well, upset.

He wasn't surprised when her head turned in his direction as he approached; he had read about how when one sense was taken away, the others were amplified. Still, it didn't crush the resolve he had about her and her position.

"Pardon me, miss…" Spock trailed smoothly, realizing he didn't have anything but her first name, and really, it wouldn't seem appropriate to address her as such without expressed permission – and even then, he probably wouldn't.

"Jolie." She responded, if only a bit stiffly.

"Yes, miss Jolie." His eyebrow raised slightly as he regarded her briefly, hands folding themselves characteristically behind his back. "I have a few inquiries I would like to ask, if now is a suitable time." Even if he was about to call her out on a few things, and thoroughly bash her qualifications, it didn't mean he wasn't going to be polite about it. It wouldn't be anything personal; just his logical opinion and suggestion.

Hayden straightened up and cracked her back, an action which made him outwardly wince, not that she would notice. "I don't have anywhere else to be." She shrugged, her gaze flickering to unseen points before her. A old habit, I assume. "Sure, I guess."

"How long have you been at the Ambassador Denahi's side?"

She didn't even hesitate before answering. "Five. Two as a trainee, three as the leading lady."

Spock's eyes narrowed slightly before he pressed further, and even took a few calculated steps toward her; she seemed unphased, though acutely aware that he was moving. "Have you had relations with the Ambassador?"

Her jaw dropped, significantly, before it clenched shut; she had alarming accuracy for pinning him with her grey, cloudy glare, even if she didn't know it. It startled him slightly – the onslaught of those eyes, which seemed to hold nothing, and yet everything, at the same time. He could almost see a few slivers of blue mixed in with the grey…

"What?"

Pike had assured them that her relationship with Denahi was nothing but professional and friendly; no kind of scandal was at hand. But seeing her, he could not be sure; she was not a gorgeous woman, but she was aesthetically pleasing, and she had known the Ambassador for quite some time. It seemed odd to him why he would keep one woman with him for so long. It had to have been taxing for her – and thus, led him to believe there were other reasons why she would devote her time, and her young life, to simply being his translator.

"Although we have been assured there is no intimate relationship between the Ambassador and yourself, I find it highly illogical, when there are more capable personnel to be at his side."

"…and just what does that suppose to mean? I may not have finished my time at Starfleet, but I am certainly not inept. Walking around with fucking academic recognition, sir, does nothing to prepare you for the real world."

He could see the anger etched into her face, and it made him ponder slightly; but still, he continued. "While your lack of vision does not affect your speech or hearing, it certainly puts you at a disadvantage, does it not? You need assistance for the simplest of tasks, and it must be provided for you wherever you travel with the Ambassador."

"I'm more independent then you are, you asshole of a Vulcan."

At this he got just a bit defensive, and bristled immediately. "I happen to be half-Human."

Hayden sneered, and begun to pull away from his presence, tension rippling throughout her entire body. "Oh, really? I never would've guessed. Looks like you're a slave to your mind after all." She hissed, and turned around, walking with a swift pace back in the direction he assumed she came from – although she never took her hand of the wall, using it as a sure guide.

--

Spock had never been more thankful to be in his room. It was hot, and wrapped him in a familiar embrace, just like his home planet. His mind kept replaying what transpired between him and Miss Jolie. A frown found its way along his features, and he sat in his chair, thinking heavily. Perhaps he…should have controlled his prejudices on disabilities more; he knew of many disabled humans – and aliens- who were quite brilliant and admired. Once he got started he couldn't help it; on Vulcan many of his classmates had chided Humans for being so weak, and that when they were disabled, it only made it show even more.

This is exactly why he needed Nyota; why they were so logical. She understood him, and was so very much like him in so many ways – drive, intelligence, interest, solemn nature, though certainly a force if provoked.

But this…Hayden Jolie; she was a wildfire. He had blatantly insulted her and she retaliated accordingly, not even hiding her words. As if that wasn't enough to left him standing there, almost slack-jawed, using her own will-power and drive to get back to wherever she was going, and not ask anyone for help. He would've heard it.

He made up his mind, though; at a more respectable hour he was going to call Nyota, and get her opinion on the matter…and hope that Jim wasn't too furious at him for, in a sense, attacking his friend. Something told him that she was most certainly going to report him – not to Starfleet, but to his Captain; which really, was worse in his opinion. No doubt no good was going to come out of that prospective conversation.

--*

Sorry Spock's kinda like, an ass. He won't be for much longer, but these two are going to have a bumpy ride. X3 it's not going to be all gumdrops and fairies, believe me.

Review, my darlings!