Jyn had been gone for… hours? Cassian's chrometer was broken, so his only indication of the passing time was the stars in the sky adjusting their position as the beach of the planet he lay on soared through the universe. Worries flowed through Cassian as to what could have happened to her. Debris could shift and collapse on her. Any enemies (who may or may not have survived) could have attacked her. She could have gotten too weak due to blood loss or malnourishment or her injuries and have collapsed.
He'd heard her hobble away after she'd struggled to attain the pipe she'd use as a crutch and shifted herself uneasily onto her feet. He'd watched her go, wishing he could help but knowing he was completely and utterly useless right now.
Breathing still hurt, but there was nothing else he could do right now but keep breathing. The idea of giving up breathing was impossible, even when Cassian faced all the reasons he should be dead. Everyone else was dead. Everyone else was dead because he'd convinced them to go to Scarif. He'd done so many bad things in the name of the Alliance… he knew he didn't deserve to keep breathing.
Knowing that Jyn was alive was enough to keep him breathing though. He needed to stay alive to make sure she stayed alive. He had to stay alive to help her through whatever she must also be going through now. He had gotten used to this kind of guilt, though perhaps not on this scale, but how must she have been processing it?
So, Cassian kept breathing. He inhaled, ribs aching, chest aching, lungs aching, and then he exhaled. He did it again and again. He sprawled out, body spent beyond any formerly known exhaustion, but Jyn could return any time, and that anticipation of her eventual return kept him awake. He couldn't sleep. Even as his lids grew heavier and his breathing grew deeper, Cassian fought the urge to sleep. Maybe he couldn't do anything in his condition, but the idea of leaving her completely alone right now was unthinkable. If she shouted, he could hear her over the light sounds of the water flowing in and out on the beach and nothing else on the lifeless island.
The sounds of the waves rolling in and out, though, were too rhythmic and soothing, and eventually Cassian did fall asleep.
He was woken by the feel of Jyn's hands on him. Cassian had always been a light sleeper – not a bad habit for a spy – and Jyn's attempts to clean and bandage his chest while he remained asleep had failed.
"If you're going to be awake while I do this, then don't squirm too much, okay?" Jyn was in business-mode. Cassian sat up so that she could better tend to him. As he did, he saw that she had already tended to her own injuries and seemed to have fashioned some kind of splint for her broken leg, which would allow her to hobble it along without such a strong need for her impromptu crutch. Her knee was bruised, but he could see that it had been readjusted to its proper position.
While Jyn quietly concentrated on scrubbing any dirt and blood away and wrapping Cassian's torso up so as to encourage his ribs to reform in the right position, he took notice of his somewhat changed surroundings.
The sun had risen, but not very high in the sky, so it couldn't have been too long since he had fallen asleep. She hadn't brought back much, but what she had was very encouraging. Cassian spotted several canteens and packets of food rations as well as four battered med-kits. The largest of the med-kits lay open beside the pair of rogues, and Jyn was removing its contents and placing them around Cassian's chest as he returned his attention to her.
She had tied her hair back and cleaned it of blood and sand and dust. It was still wet; she must have dipped it into the surrounding ocean to clean it pretty recently. Her torn clothes had been discarded, and she was wearing a mishmash of nicely pressed Imperial clothes. The slacks had the left leg ripped off, though, so that her splint could fit around an otherwise mostly bare leg. A few bandages covered other exposed pieces of skin, including some of her forehead. Cassian suspected more bandages were hidden beneath her new garments, and he had to stop himself there as his mind was wandering from the practical to the… less practical.
"Once I'm done with your chest, we should get you cleaned up too." Jyn's eyes stayed concentrated on bandaging Cassian. "I grabbed a few other clothes. They might be a little big, but they'll be better than the rags you've got on now."
Cassian looked down at his trousers, which, in the brighter light of day, looked far more ragged than he'd realized before. His shirt wasn't even in sight anymore, likely discarded by Jyn once she had gotten back.
"Thanks," he said, feeling rather pathetic. He didn't really know what else to say. He could already sense the wall she had put up; not an unfamiliar sensation when it came to Jyn – the woman was more walls than emotion, really, and so was Cassian – but those walls seemed to have all fallen between them in what could have been their last moments. Now, Jyn had thrown some new walls up, and Cassian couldn't blame her in the least.
He refrained from saying anything more, and she remained quiet as well as she finished binding his chest. It felt tighter once she was done, but not as pained. Jyn rummaged through the large med-kit and, unable to find what she was looking for, turned instead to another. She found her prey there, and extracted several small, white pills encased in packaging.
"These should make breathing easier," said Jyn, as she held out a hand containing three of the pills.
Cassian took them from her, but he didn't let go of her hand. Her eyes were unfocused and steely, avoiding his surprisingly open and sympathetic ones.
"Jyn," he said, barely more than a determined whisper of her name. The tone was all too reminiscent of how Chirrut prayed to the Force, with his similarly quiet determination.
"Not now," Jyn replied firmly. "Not right now."
Her gaze focused, and Cassian recognized the barely bridled agony behind her captivating, hazel green irises. He let go of her hand, and she didn't whip it away but instead revoked it slowly. He threw the pills into his mouth, and swallowed them dry. Jyn's focus was on the ocean, seemingly so calm now after having reacted so violently to the Death Star's blast nearly a day ago.
"I'll go wash up then," said Cassian, gesturing towards the waves several meters away.
"Do you need any help?"
"No, thank you," Cassian said, nodding a small smile. He didn't want her to exert herself even more. It was obvious the food rations hadn't been touched yet, though it was possible she'd drank some water from the canteens.
He crawled his way over towards the water, trying not to get sand in his fresh bandages. Whether it was that the painkillers acted really quickly or that the bandages had positioned his chest better or that his nap had helped, but Cassian moved with less pain that he had before, and breathing felt easier too. Once he was at the shore, he removed his boots and torn trousers to reveal his mostly unscathed though heavily bruised legs beneath. He splashed them regardless, which felt soothing. Despite all the chaos the ocean had wrecked hours before, it was now playing innocent, sending in sun-warmed wave after wave, gently washing small pieces of debris away as they got caught in the tide. Now, Cassian bathed his injured legs and arms before splashing his face with the water. Then, the water ran more brown and red from the splotches of blood and dirt as they ran from his hair and scratched face.
"Here," came Jyn's voice, as she held out the clean Imperial uniform she'd scavenged. Cassian had heard her approach – it was hard not to when she was stumbling along with a broken leg and crutch – and realized that he'd left the new clothes behind, deducing her reason for joining him at the tide.
With only a small nod of thanks and no words, Cassian took the clothes from her and awkwardly put them on. Jyn offered no help, but Cassian managed with not immense difficulty. She hadn't gotten new boots, so Cassian put those he'd been wearing before back on. They weren't in too rough of shape anyway, though they didn't quite match the pristine nature of the slightly over-sized uniform he'd just put on.
Jyn still stood, balanced on her "good" leg, but leaning heavily on her pipe crutch, very near to Cassian's position as he half-sat, half-leaned back on his elbows. They remained in those positions, silent, the sun warming their wet hair as the tide withdrew. Several minutes passed.
"You should rest," Cassian said, breaking the silence. He didn't mind the quiet, but there was a tension here that he felt he needed to break. "You've exerted a lot more energy, and if nothing has come after us so far then…" he trailed off, not wanting to go too far down that route. It was all too clear that they were the only two survivors on Scarif. Jyn certainly didn't need reminding of that.
Jyn didn't respond at first, eyes still on the ocean in the direction of where the initial strike from the Death Star had hit. Eventually, she answered, "Okay."
Cassian and Jyn slowly moved further from the coast, closer to the supplies Jyn had scavenged some meters further inland. Once they'd returned to their "camp" (for lack of a better word), Jyn settled herself back down on the sand.
"You should eat something," she said. She was lying on her side, back to Cassian as he arranged himself and his beaten body in the most comfortable position possible.
"Have you eaten?" he countered.
She didn't respond. Cassian could almost imagine her defiantly saying, like some kind of teenage brat, I'm not hungry. But Jyn didn't say as much, preferring to let her silence speak for itself.
As Cassian ripped into one of the rations packs and downed the tasteless contents – likely fare low level Imperial pilots often consumed on their runs so as to simply survive from base to base, much like Cassian was used to on his own missions – he watched Jyn's body rise and fall. He could tell she hadn't yet fallen asleep.
The food devoured in an instant, Cassian found himself exhausted once again; his previous sleep had been too short for what his body needed. He looked at Jyn before him, wishing he could transfer his exhaustion to her so that she could get what was obviously much-needed sleep for her own body's injuries… and the pain that was clearly echoing in her mind.
Cassian knew she had to hear him as he scooted himself over, but she didn't flinch or react as he gingerly put an arm around her and positioned himself to lie beside her. In fact, as he held her, he felt her own arms hold his, and heard the smallest of voices he'd ever heard from her say, "Thank you."