Disclaimer: The characters contained herein belong to Clamp.
Special thanks to all those who reviewed, especially to Lun(A)zul for encouragement and continuing correspondence.
Chapter 2
Sakura circled around Tomeda tirelessly, her mind a whirl with thoughts of the past day's events. She had awoken to a threatening sky. Low, black clouds crouched along the horizon and the wind had picked up considerably from last night. She contemplated the view briefly. Then she smiled and hurriedly began her morning ablutions. Today Tomoyo and Eriol were coming.
The last few years had been lonely. As everyone grew up, they changed. Old schoolmates had moved away. Syaoran had returned to China to fulfill his obligations to both his clan and Meilin. After graduating from school, her father had quietly slipped away. Sakura didn't begrudge the fact. He had missed his wife too much. Once Sakura had grown up, his promise to Nadesico was complete and he left this life. Touya had a job that kept him on the go but he still came home on the occasional weekend and holiday. Tomoyo and Eriol had been the last to leave.
That left only Yue and Kero. Together, the three had fallen into a comfortable pattern with each other. They had turned the basement into a study, reinforcing the walls and putting up magic barriers so Sakura could practice. The early morning she usually spent in quiet contemplation or studying. In the afternoon Yue guided her through magic drills to strengthen and focus her growing powers. Kero helped her to combine magic attacks with physical combat. The evenings they spent quietly together. But, overt the years Sakura had noticed a subtle yet persistent withdrawal from Yue.
Slowly, thoughts of him began to occupy more and more of her time. Why was he drawing away? She'd thought of speaking with Kero, but the change had come so gradually she doubted if the little beast had even noticed. Suddenly, Sakura shook her head. Can't afford to think of this now. Tomoyo and Eriol were coming!
"Kero?" She called as she finished getting ready. "Kero?" A muffled screech came from her brother's old room. Sakura smiled yet again. She'd gotten a new game for Kero the other day and from the sounds of things, the game was outsmarting Kero. Stifling a laugh, Sakura stepped across the hall and opened the door. "Kero, you promised to help today. Remember?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm coming. I'm at a perfect place to stop anyway." Sakura wasn't too sure, but the flashing 'game over' sign may have been the source of the yellow beast's inspiration.
Humming softly to herself, Sakura continued to the kitchen to begin baking for tonight's feast. Mentally ticking off ingredients Sakura didn't see Yue. Yue watched his mistress slowly make her way to the kitchen. He sighed.
He seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. Being unsealed had been difficult but in those days there had been the cards to change. Then he'd met up with the reincarnation of his late master. Nothing could have prepared him for that nor for the renewing of old memories. It was with another sigh of relief that he had bid farewell to the young man. But, while the parting had brought some respite for him, Yue could see that it had hurt Sakura. Not that Sakura would ever let it show, but he could tell. Sakura had had only him and his sometimes, alright, usually, annoying little brother.
He hadn't minded the solitude but he'd watched as Sakura changed over the years. Yes, she'd become more beautiful, more caring, more confident, especially as she grew into her powers. But, she'd also become more quiet, more reserved, no longer the overly expressive girl she had been as a child. No, instead, as the years passed she became increasingly more like the master he felt echoes from in Eriol. Ever so slowly Yue began to feel stirrings of old feelings, feelings that frightened him. Feelings he had tried so hard and for so long to forget. Instead, in the glow of Sakura's presence, they grew more insistent, demanding to be noticed, demanding that he throw off his passive role and take action. Yue became aware of the direction his thoughts were going and reigned himself in. Turning abruptly, he left Sakura alone to her preparations.
* * *
"Sakura. Sakura." Kero called. "I've finished the cleaning."
Yue was just coming up from the basement as Sakura emerged from the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron. "Many thanks, Kero." As Sakura removed her apron Yue came to stand next to the hovering beast. Grabbing her wallet and putting on her shoes, Sakura was saying, "There are a couple of things I still need to get for tonight. If I hurry I shouldn't be too long." Turning to her guardians, she admonished, "Kero, under no circumstances are you allowed in the kitchen. Everything's almost done and I want it to be perfect for Tomoyo and Eriol."
Then she turned to Yue. As she had prepared for tonight her hair had become slightly disheveled and there was flour on one cheek. Yue resisted the impulse to wipe it off. "Yue, please help Kero to stay from the kitchen." Sakura ran out the door, but remembering something she popped back in time to see Yue grab Kero's tail. She giggled and two sets of eyes turned in her direction. "Be nice you two. And thanks for everything. I'll be back soon." She left and took with her an image of a little yellow animal struggling madly in the grip of an unperturbed angel.
* * *
A little over an hour later, Sakura returned, breathless but triumphant from her foray into the grocery store. She removed her shoes and noticed two sets of new shoes. Excitedly, Sakura entered the rest of the way, "Hello?" Light steps came from the living room and Sakura found herself face to face with Tomoyo. With a squeal of delight, Sakura launched herself into her best friends arms.
"Tomoyo! How have you been? Where have you been? What have you been doing? Tell me everything!"
"Slow down, Sakura," Tomoyo laughed. "You've not missed a thing. We've only been here a short while. And of course we wouldn't start anything without you." She gave Sakura another hug, noting with some surprise that her friend had grown taller than her over the years. Sakura had always been shorter. It was a pleasant change. "Let's go back to the living room. I left Eriol there with Kero. Who knows what's happened since I've left."
Sakura paused, "Have you seen Yue yet?"
"No, but Kero said Yue was working on something and would be up shortly." Sakura put it from her mind and went into the living room to catch up with her friends. They visited and laughed and slowly the conversation moved to dinner. Yue still had yet to come up.
"Maybe we should go ahead and start. Kero, I'll need your help with the table and food. Then I'll get Yue."
"Sakura, why don't you go get him now? Eriol and I can help Kero. And then we'll be ready that much sooner!" She gave Sakura a gentle push toward the basement door. Sakura gave them one last questioning look and after their assurances went into the basement.
"Yue?"
Yue
"Where are you?"
Where are you
"Why are you sitting in the dark?"
Why are you sitting in the dark?
Yue heard her words mingle with echoes from his past. Together, the sounds surrounded him, washed through him, leaving every nerve raw and exposed. His breath caught and he squeezed his eyes shut. Not now. Why is this happening now, he thought frantically.
Sakura called again. "Yue, please let me find you." The sound of her voice pained him, rubbing harshly against his skin. But, it wasn't her fault, it could never be her fault. Yue took a deep breath and let a small light flicker to life.
"Hoe!" squeaked Sakura. She had been practically on top of her guardian without even knowing it. Yue continued to sit, staring at the floor.
"Yue" she began haltingly. On some level she knew tonight was going to be hard for her silent friend, so she reached out, laying a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Yue, I know tonight is difficult for you. And, I know I don't understand all the reasons why but please, please come up. I want you," she paused, searching for the right words, "I need you to be up there with me. You are very much a part of my life, just as they are. Tonight, I want to be surrounded by all of my friends, all of the ones I love." She smiled at Yue. "Please?"
Please.
I want you. I need you. I love you.
Don't leave me.
Yue sat and struggled . If she only knew he would not ask this of him. Up there Eriol would be to one side of him, Sakura to the other. The two together would tear him apart. Were tearing him apart. The one a remembrance of loss and the other a constant reminder of what could never be his again. Nevertheless, his mistress had asked and what could he do but obey? Yue nodded slowly in acquiescence, careful not to let her see his eyes. Sakura sighed inaudilbly.
Despite all their time together, her moon guardian remained an enigma. Rarely could she predict his actions and it had become even more difficult of late. She'd worriedly watched the struggle play out on his face. His nod caused a wave of relief to wash through her. To cover her sudden weakness, Sakura leaned forward and hugged Yue. It was the hug that halted her. Hugging him, she became conscious of how long it had been since she'd last hugged and that hugging him now made her feel very different from when she hugged him as a girl. She felt slightly embarrassed and didn't know what to do. She whispered "thank you" into his ear, then withdrew and began to climb the stairs.
Yue sat in silent shock, his eyes gone wide. His mistress was hugging him! He didn't know what to do! So, he closed his eyes and just breathed. That was a mistake. Her flowery sent assaulted his senses. Hesitatingly, he began to lift his arms, to hug her back, when she whispered thank you in his ear. Then she was gone. Which was just as well. The feel of her breath on his skin made him shiver. He pulled himself together and looked to see Sakura at the head of the stairs. She turned. Her lips curved softly and then she held her hand out, palm up. Yue stood and made his way up the stairs. Carefully he placed his hand in Sakura's. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze and then turned, bringing Yue into the warmth and light upstairs.
* * *
Dinner truly was a struggle. Any and all attempts to draw Yue into conversation met with silent stares. He refused to speak. He refused to eat. Gradually, all conversation ceased and the meal continued in silence. Sakura was more than aware of the surreptitious glances Tomoyo and Eriol kept tossing at each other. Thinking they were about Yue's odd behavior, she ignored them. Sakura became so lost in thought she almost leaped from her chair when a noise shattered her reverie.
At it turned out, it was only Eriol tapping his glass. Clearing his throat, he began, "Now that dinner has died down," he winked at Sakura, "Tomoyo and I have an announcement." He held his hand out to her, and blushing, Tomoyo placed her hand in his. "Tomoyo has graciously accepted my proposal for marriage. We will be married in the spring and would like each of you to be there."
Sakura practically sighed, how romantic, but it sure took them long enough. She felt very happy for her friends and watched with an amused look on her face as Kero buzzed around the couple and gushed all kinds of congratulations. As Sakura prepared to go offer her own good will, she saw Yue stand abruptly and woodenly leave the room.
Noticing the worried look on Sakura's face and the direction of her gaze, Tomoyo's mind began to whirl. Coming to a decision, she caught Sakura's attention and then made shooing motions with her hands. Sakura nodded her thanks and then hurried out after Yue.
She didn't find him in the kitchen, but the back door left slightly ajar hinted at the direction he may have gone. Stepping out onto the porch, Sakura found Yue standing at the far end, his shoulders hunched, his face cast in shadows.
"It's cold and wet out here. Come back inside with me." Yue stared at her uncomprehendingly. "Yue, what's wrong? Aren't you happy for Tomoyo and Eriol?" But, he just continued staring at her. "Yue, what's wrong? You're scaring me." She took a step toward him but he backed away. He was now standing in the rain but he paid it no heed. "Why are you doing this? You're getting soaked. Let's go inside and you can explain it all to me if you want but just please, come back in." He just shook his head and took another step backwards. "Is it something I did? Is it me?" she continued softly. She could see Yue begin to tremble. The, suddenly he gave a ragged cry. Whirling, he spread his wings and left Sakura in shocked silence.
Special thanks to all those who reviewed, especially to Lun(A)zul for encouragement and continuing correspondence.
Chapter 2
Sakura circled around Tomeda tirelessly, her mind a whirl with thoughts of the past day's events. She had awoken to a threatening sky. Low, black clouds crouched along the horizon and the wind had picked up considerably from last night. She contemplated the view briefly. Then she smiled and hurriedly began her morning ablutions. Today Tomoyo and Eriol were coming.
The last few years had been lonely. As everyone grew up, they changed. Old schoolmates had moved away. Syaoran had returned to China to fulfill his obligations to both his clan and Meilin. After graduating from school, her father had quietly slipped away. Sakura didn't begrudge the fact. He had missed his wife too much. Once Sakura had grown up, his promise to Nadesico was complete and he left this life. Touya had a job that kept him on the go but he still came home on the occasional weekend and holiday. Tomoyo and Eriol had been the last to leave.
That left only Yue and Kero. Together, the three had fallen into a comfortable pattern with each other. They had turned the basement into a study, reinforcing the walls and putting up magic barriers so Sakura could practice. The early morning she usually spent in quiet contemplation or studying. In the afternoon Yue guided her through magic drills to strengthen and focus her growing powers. Kero helped her to combine magic attacks with physical combat. The evenings they spent quietly together. But, overt the years Sakura had noticed a subtle yet persistent withdrawal from Yue.
Slowly, thoughts of him began to occupy more and more of her time. Why was he drawing away? She'd thought of speaking with Kero, but the change had come so gradually she doubted if the little beast had even noticed. Suddenly, Sakura shook her head. Can't afford to think of this now. Tomoyo and Eriol were coming!
"Kero?" She called as she finished getting ready. "Kero?" A muffled screech came from her brother's old room. Sakura smiled yet again. She'd gotten a new game for Kero the other day and from the sounds of things, the game was outsmarting Kero. Stifling a laugh, Sakura stepped across the hall and opened the door. "Kero, you promised to help today. Remember?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm coming. I'm at a perfect place to stop anyway." Sakura wasn't too sure, but the flashing 'game over' sign may have been the source of the yellow beast's inspiration.
Humming softly to herself, Sakura continued to the kitchen to begin baking for tonight's feast. Mentally ticking off ingredients Sakura didn't see Yue. Yue watched his mistress slowly make her way to the kitchen. He sighed.
He seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. Being unsealed had been difficult but in those days there had been the cards to change. Then he'd met up with the reincarnation of his late master. Nothing could have prepared him for that nor for the renewing of old memories. It was with another sigh of relief that he had bid farewell to the young man. But, while the parting had brought some respite for him, Yue could see that it had hurt Sakura. Not that Sakura would ever let it show, but he could tell. Sakura had had only him and his sometimes, alright, usually, annoying little brother.
He hadn't minded the solitude but he'd watched as Sakura changed over the years. Yes, she'd become more beautiful, more caring, more confident, especially as she grew into her powers. But, she'd also become more quiet, more reserved, no longer the overly expressive girl she had been as a child. No, instead, as the years passed she became increasingly more like the master he felt echoes from in Eriol. Ever so slowly Yue began to feel stirrings of old feelings, feelings that frightened him. Feelings he had tried so hard and for so long to forget. Instead, in the glow of Sakura's presence, they grew more insistent, demanding to be noticed, demanding that he throw off his passive role and take action. Yue became aware of the direction his thoughts were going and reigned himself in. Turning abruptly, he left Sakura alone to her preparations.
* * *
"Sakura. Sakura." Kero called. "I've finished the cleaning."
Yue was just coming up from the basement as Sakura emerged from the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron. "Many thanks, Kero." As Sakura removed her apron Yue came to stand next to the hovering beast. Grabbing her wallet and putting on her shoes, Sakura was saying, "There are a couple of things I still need to get for tonight. If I hurry I shouldn't be too long." Turning to her guardians, she admonished, "Kero, under no circumstances are you allowed in the kitchen. Everything's almost done and I want it to be perfect for Tomoyo and Eriol."
Then she turned to Yue. As she had prepared for tonight her hair had become slightly disheveled and there was flour on one cheek. Yue resisted the impulse to wipe it off. "Yue, please help Kero to stay from the kitchen." Sakura ran out the door, but remembering something she popped back in time to see Yue grab Kero's tail. She giggled and two sets of eyes turned in her direction. "Be nice you two. And thanks for everything. I'll be back soon." She left and took with her an image of a little yellow animal struggling madly in the grip of an unperturbed angel.
* * *
A little over an hour later, Sakura returned, breathless but triumphant from her foray into the grocery store. She removed her shoes and noticed two sets of new shoes. Excitedly, Sakura entered the rest of the way, "Hello?" Light steps came from the living room and Sakura found herself face to face with Tomoyo. With a squeal of delight, Sakura launched herself into her best friends arms.
"Tomoyo! How have you been? Where have you been? What have you been doing? Tell me everything!"
"Slow down, Sakura," Tomoyo laughed. "You've not missed a thing. We've only been here a short while. And of course we wouldn't start anything without you." She gave Sakura another hug, noting with some surprise that her friend had grown taller than her over the years. Sakura had always been shorter. It was a pleasant change. "Let's go back to the living room. I left Eriol there with Kero. Who knows what's happened since I've left."
Sakura paused, "Have you seen Yue yet?"
"No, but Kero said Yue was working on something and would be up shortly." Sakura put it from her mind and went into the living room to catch up with her friends. They visited and laughed and slowly the conversation moved to dinner. Yue still had yet to come up.
"Maybe we should go ahead and start. Kero, I'll need your help with the table and food. Then I'll get Yue."
"Sakura, why don't you go get him now? Eriol and I can help Kero. And then we'll be ready that much sooner!" She gave Sakura a gentle push toward the basement door. Sakura gave them one last questioning look and after their assurances went into the basement.
"Yue?"
Yue
"Where are you?"
Where are you
"Why are you sitting in the dark?"
Why are you sitting in the dark?
Yue heard her words mingle with echoes from his past. Together, the sounds surrounded him, washed through him, leaving every nerve raw and exposed. His breath caught and he squeezed his eyes shut. Not now. Why is this happening now, he thought frantically.
Sakura called again. "Yue, please let me find you." The sound of her voice pained him, rubbing harshly against his skin. But, it wasn't her fault, it could never be her fault. Yue took a deep breath and let a small light flicker to life.
"Hoe!" squeaked Sakura. She had been practically on top of her guardian without even knowing it. Yue continued to sit, staring at the floor.
"Yue" she began haltingly. On some level she knew tonight was going to be hard for her silent friend, so she reached out, laying a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Yue, I know tonight is difficult for you. And, I know I don't understand all the reasons why but please, please come up. I want you," she paused, searching for the right words, "I need you to be up there with me. You are very much a part of my life, just as they are. Tonight, I want to be surrounded by all of my friends, all of the ones I love." She smiled at Yue. "Please?"
Please.
I want you. I need you. I love you.
Don't leave me.
Yue sat and struggled . If she only knew he would not ask this of him. Up there Eriol would be to one side of him, Sakura to the other. The two together would tear him apart. Were tearing him apart. The one a remembrance of loss and the other a constant reminder of what could never be his again. Nevertheless, his mistress had asked and what could he do but obey? Yue nodded slowly in acquiescence, careful not to let her see his eyes. Sakura sighed inaudilbly.
Despite all their time together, her moon guardian remained an enigma. Rarely could she predict his actions and it had become even more difficult of late. She'd worriedly watched the struggle play out on his face. His nod caused a wave of relief to wash through her. To cover her sudden weakness, Sakura leaned forward and hugged Yue. It was the hug that halted her. Hugging him, she became conscious of how long it had been since she'd last hugged and that hugging him now made her feel very different from when she hugged him as a girl. She felt slightly embarrassed and didn't know what to do. She whispered "thank you" into his ear, then withdrew and began to climb the stairs.
Yue sat in silent shock, his eyes gone wide. His mistress was hugging him! He didn't know what to do! So, he closed his eyes and just breathed. That was a mistake. Her flowery sent assaulted his senses. Hesitatingly, he began to lift his arms, to hug her back, when she whispered thank you in his ear. Then she was gone. Which was just as well. The feel of her breath on his skin made him shiver. He pulled himself together and looked to see Sakura at the head of the stairs. She turned. Her lips curved softly and then she held her hand out, palm up. Yue stood and made his way up the stairs. Carefully he placed his hand in Sakura's. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze and then turned, bringing Yue into the warmth and light upstairs.
* * *
Dinner truly was a struggle. Any and all attempts to draw Yue into conversation met with silent stares. He refused to speak. He refused to eat. Gradually, all conversation ceased and the meal continued in silence. Sakura was more than aware of the surreptitious glances Tomoyo and Eriol kept tossing at each other. Thinking they were about Yue's odd behavior, she ignored them. Sakura became so lost in thought she almost leaped from her chair when a noise shattered her reverie.
At it turned out, it was only Eriol tapping his glass. Clearing his throat, he began, "Now that dinner has died down," he winked at Sakura, "Tomoyo and I have an announcement." He held his hand out to her, and blushing, Tomoyo placed her hand in his. "Tomoyo has graciously accepted my proposal for marriage. We will be married in the spring and would like each of you to be there."
Sakura practically sighed, how romantic, but it sure took them long enough. She felt very happy for her friends and watched with an amused look on her face as Kero buzzed around the couple and gushed all kinds of congratulations. As Sakura prepared to go offer her own good will, she saw Yue stand abruptly and woodenly leave the room.
Noticing the worried look on Sakura's face and the direction of her gaze, Tomoyo's mind began to whirl. Coming to a decision, she caught Sakura's attention and then made shooing motions with her hands. Sakura nodded her thanks and then hurried out after Yue.
She didn't find him in the kitchen, but the back door left slightly ajar hinted at the direction he may have gone. Stepping out onto the porch, Sakura found Yue standing at the far end, his shoulders hunched, his face cast in shadows.
"It's cold and wet out here. Come back inside with me." Yue stared at her uncomprehendingly. "Yue, what's wrong? Aren't you happy for Tomoyo and Eriol?" But, he just continued staring at her. "Yue, what's wrong? You're scaring me." She took a step toward him but he backed away. He was now standing in the rain but he paid it no heed. "Why are you doing this? You're getting soaked. Let's go inside and you can explain it all to me if you want but just please, come back in." He just shook his head and took another step backwards. "Is it something I did? Is it me?" she continued softly. She could see Yue begin to tremble. The, suddenly he gave a ragged cry. Whirling, he spread his wings and left Sakura in shocked silence.