Chapter two
What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you? What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay – the script.
Lauren stepped outside with Tyler. She hooked her arm through his as the residents of walford stood outside on the streets watching the cars go by, in a sign of respect. She took a deep breath as she saw all of the people staring back at her. She honestly felt like a hypocrite, they were going to breakup before he died, they had talked about it and decided it was for the best. Well they'd both decided it was for the best but only in Laurens interest.
Lauren found the church service was slow and painful, she felt like she should feel guilty and worst of all she felt she had betrayed him. Kyle was Laurens boyfriend of four years and he loved Lauren more than life itself, the same couldn't be said for herself though. She loved him but not near as much as he loved her… she loved him like she loved all of her friends and as much as she wanted it to be more, it never was and it never would be. Kyle knew this too, it didn't come as no surprise to him when Lauren broke down in tears and told him. He had known all along that Lauren was in love with somebody else and he knew who it was too. It was complicated on Laurens side and it was only two months ago that she had admitted this to Kyle. He had been understanding, nice, calm and friendly about the whole situation, which surprised Lauren to no end and only made her feel more guilty. Kyle felt honoured that Lauren had put her own happiness on hold so Kyle could have his, he was her best friend and she was his, she was also the love of his life and his soul mate, his words. Kyle only had one thing he wanted Lauren to do, he wanted three more months with her and now she knew why, he was dying and he wanted to spend his last moments with her. She couldn't help but feel guilty for her feelings, all Kyle ever did was love Lauren and she couldn't even do the same cause she was too busy falling for somebody else, she never acted on her feelings though, not even once. Once Lauren had confessed her true feelings to Kyle, he helped her, trying to come up with a plan to get her man, he was certain that Lauren should just go ask him out and he would say yes, but to Lauren it was a lot more complicated than that and it upset her how he was willing to give up his happiness just so Lauren could have hers, she was living with guilt no matter what Kyle told her, in her eyes he was a very good man to do that, and she would love him for that alone.
Kyles wake was at the Vic, and when Lauren got there she noticed everyone stare at her and smile sympathetically. This just made her feel even guiltier because they were only giving her sympathy because they all thought she'd just lost the love of her life. Lauren sat down at a table with her parents, Tyler, Abi and Joey. Everyone's attention turned to Tyler as he got up from his seat asking for their attention. "I just wanted to thank you all for coming really, I know it would've meant a lot to Kyle, and I'm glad so many of you turned up, he was a popular guy" Tyler chuckled, along with a few others. "I know for a fact he will be looking down on Lauren laughing his head off at what she's wearing" he laughed causing everyone else to burst out in laughter too. "Sorry babe" Tyler quickly whispered as she blushed. Lauren pursed her lips together and nodded her head, silently thanking him. "If there's one thing I'm sure of its that Kyle was such an amazing guy, boyfriend, best friend and all around person and it's not fair that he died so young and in such a cruel way but i know he wouldn't want us to be sad about him leaving us, in fact I'm pretty sure he's up there laughing at all of us, so please, in honour of our good friend… enjoy the rest of today. These shots of whiskey lined up on the bar, drink them in his remembrance and then say your final goodbye, Kyle loved to live life a bit on the wild side and im pretty certain he would appreciate the gesture" Tyler said. He then took a shot of whiskey that was lined upon the bar. He swallowed the liquid putting his glass down on the bar "goodbye Kyle, mate" he said, his eyes glossy. Next up was Max, he downed the whiskey in one, placing his glass on the bar too. "Bye Kyle" he said before walking back to his table. Everyone repeated the gesture and soon enough there was just Abi, Lauren and Joey to go. Abi picked up the glass, swallowing it and grimacing at the taste, causing the others to laugh at her. "Bye Kyle, I'm going to miss you" she said, tears already rolling down her cheeks. Joey didn't waste no time, picking up the glass, swallowing the liquid and also placing his glass on the bar. "Bye mate" he said, joining the others on the table. Lauren took steady breaths as she was the last one to go up, feeling all eyes burning into her as she reached out for her glass. She raised it to her mouth, pouring the contents in and swallowing eagerly. She felt guiltier now than she ever did. She knew she couldn't help her feelings but she just wished she didn't have them because she knew she'd failed him and that hurt her. "Goodbye Kyle, I am going to miss you" she said feeling herself becoming emotional too, she returned to her table, smiling as Tyler threw an arm around her shoulders. Lauren glanced around the table, she smiled at Joey as he kept his worried gaze on her.