Author: Lash_Larue
Title:'L'enfant Le Plus Terrible" Conclusion
Pairings: Same as in the Fleur/Hermione/Faith and Team Alpha stories
Rating: R for language and sexual references
Summary:A six year old Faith appears on the scene, madcap fun follows!
Warnings: Language, sexual refernces, this is more crack than prOn
Word Count:2260
Disclaimer: These characters belong to JK Rowling and Joss Whedon
Don't read this if you have not read the first part. Even then...
Oh... this may not be my usual sophisticated humor. Also, if you're a real BVS fan, you might notice the timeline is wonky for this series. Try and ignore it. This bit is present day, but is not integral to any additions to the series that might be forthcoming. Think of it as a spinoff.
As promised, not long at all.
L
"L'enfant Le Plus Terrible"
A Team Alpha Story
Conclusion -
"Luna, is anything wrong?" Willow asked, looking up from her desk.
"No, I just dropped by to see how things were progressing."
"I think we're on the right track, Hermione is going to Hogwarts soon, to get a rare plant from Professor Longbottom. How are you doing with the time thing?"
"I'm ready. I'm going to need everyone who knows Faith now and has seen her as a child to be there when we do it, though."
"How come?"
"Temporal synchronicity, it's a delicate matter," Luna answered.
"In what way?" Hermione asked. Luna looked at her and smiled.
"Do you recall our conference in Mordor, Hermione?" Luna asked with a smile.
"Oh. It's that kind of thing, then, is it?" Hermione asked cautiously. Luna nodded.
"Never mind, we trust you. I guess it would be a good idea to limit the number of people who see her then. I'll tell Spike."
"That really would be best," Luna agreed.
"Hermione, how's it going?" Spike greeted her.
"Pretty well, we're testing a few different antidotes now. Uh – how are things with Faith?"
"I finally got her to believe what happened. She's not too fussed, resilient little thing, Faith is," he told her.
"How did you manage that?" Hermione asked.
"DVD's, she's in the den watching South Park. She said TV was never that cool before, so it must be a different time."
"I'm not sure that show is appropriate for her to be watching," Hermione asked, concerned.
"Why? Are you afraid she'll teach Cartman some bad words?"
"Hi Hermione," Faith greeted her, "Uncle Spike, can we go to the park again this evening?"
"I suppose, want to have another go on the swings?"
"Nah, I figure we can roll some drunks, pick up some beer money. Fuck you, fuck, you, fuck you, uncle fucker…" she sang as she headed to the kitchen.
"I think I'd better get back to work on the antidote. Luna thinks it best to limit the number of people who know about this, will you tell Amanda and Angel to keep mum?" Hermione asked.
"No worries, I don't think either of them are keen on having Faith spilling the family secrets."
"Oh?" Hermione encouraged.
"Hey, Hermione, did I grow up to be as kinky as Spike and Angel and Amanda? You won't believe what those three were up to last night! Angel was –"
"Have a beer, pet, Hermione doesn't want to hear about that," Spike interrupted.
"Oh, right, Hermione isn't into dick. Say, you wanna come with us to the park? It's great! Last time one guy crapped his pants when Spike changed," Faith asked.
"No thank you sweetheart, I need to get to work so we can get you back. We miss you." Faith gnawed on her lower lip for a moment, and then a grin broke out on her face.
"I'm hot, huh?" Faith asked.
"Blazing", promised Hermione. "I'll see you later."
"Am I really in love with her and Fleur?" Faith asked in a small voice.
"You bet, they saved your life you know, and you and Draco and Dagger saved me and Angel."
"Am I happy?" she whispered, her chin quivering.
"Come here niblet," said Spike, and he swept her into a hug. "You are happier than you can imagine, I promise. You're loved and respected, good people look up to you, and bad people run and hide if they even imagine you're coming. The Faith Giles-Delacour who leads Team Alpha is as happy as anyone I've ever known."
"I knew this was too good to be true. My name is Faith Lehane."
"Used to be. Fleur's Mum and her new husband love you so much they adopted you, and like the song almost says, 'Momma's rich, and Daddy plays a mean guitar'."
"Well, Fleur and Hermione are really pretty, so maybe eating them wouldn't be so bad… Uncle Spike?"
"Yes pet?"
"Should I be trying to kill you and Angel? 'Cause-"
"No! Put that right out of your mind." Something clattered to the floor.
"Okay," Faith said as she hugged him back.
"That's my Faith," thought Spike when he saw the stake she had dropped.
"Turn around," Amanda said suddenly.
"What for? I thought you wanted to duck Faith until she's back to normal," Angel asked.
"Faith wouldn't run out on me. Never. I owe her the same. Turn around, we can lock the door or invent self-control for the duration. Faith needs us, and that's the name of the tune."
"You're right," agreed Angel, and he swung his car around in a cloud of tire smoke.
"The English aren't used to GTX's, love," Amanda cautioned.
"They can learn, that's a lot easier than doing a doughnut to the right."
Arriving back at home, Angel and Amanda found Spike and Faith discussing what to order on the pizza.
"I hate anchovies," Spike protested.
"Me too, but I figure I ought to practice," Faith insisted.
"Practice for what?" Angel asked.
"Eating pu-" Faith began, but Amanda interrupted her.
"That's not true, Faith. I promise."
"Oh. Thanks. I was a little worried about that," Faith admitted.
"Where on earth did you get that idea anyway?" Amanda asked.
"Mom, but she was a skank."
"Your new Mum is a Queen," Spike told her.
"Neat! That makes me a real Princess, doesn't it?"
"It sure does," agreed Angel. "Faith, can you give us a minute? We have some old people stuff to discuss."
"Okay, I'll go watch Kenny die some more. 86 the anchovies, Spike."
"Whatever you say, niblet," Spike agreed. Faith left the room, and Angel beckoned Amanda and Spike into the bedroom and shut the door. Faith quietly crept to the door and put her ear against it. In her experience, when grownups wanted to talk in secret, bad things were about to happen.
"Amanda and I think we all should stay together with Faith. We owe her too much, and love her too much, to suit our own convenience. We can lock the door or just hold off, she deserves everything we can give her, and I'll be damned if I'll be the next person to let her down," Angel said calmly.
"Right you are, Granddad," agreed Spike.
"Me too," Amanda chimed in, "I'd be dead three times over if not for Faith. Besides, I love her."
"Yeah," chorused Spike and Angel.
"She has a home with us for as long as she wants it," Spike declared, "and really, she's tons of fun!"
With tears in her eyes and an unfamiliar warmth in her heart, Faith went back into the den.
"Son of a bitch," she said, and a rare smile lit her face, "they aren't lying."
"Tomorrow, then?" Willow asked Luna.
"Yes," Luna answered, "Hermione will take everyone but Faith and me to the Veil room. I'll take Faith and do the time displacement and administer the antidote, and then I'll join you and handle the temporal synchronicity."
"Are you sure you don't need help?" Willow asked.
"It's quite simple really, it just requires precision timing. As long as the antidote works, we'll have her back."
"It works," assured Willow, "Buffy made us test it on her."
"I would have expected no less from her. You and Hermione did a remarkable job, creating an antidote in a month that has eluded healers for generations. I'll meet you all in the lobby that leads to the Department of Mysteries, Hermione can show you the way," Luna told her.
"Thanks, I guess we just had more motivation, see you tomorrow," Willow Disapparated.
"It's too bad about the Thames," Luna mused, "but it will recover, and this is worth the price."
Her eyes slowly turned silver.
"Mister, I'm lost, can you help me?" Faith asked.
"Where do you want to go, little girl?" the man responded, and Faith gave him an address. "Of course I can help you, I even know a shortcut," he promised. "Come with me," he encouraged as he held out his hand.
"Veal tonight!" he thought gleefully as he led Faith into the thick belt of trees.
"Sorry darling," the man hissed as he changed, "this just isn't your night, I guess."
"Yours either, bitch," said Spike as he and Angel seized the vampire by the arms. "Go ahead luv, stake him."
"Don't count your chicks before you eat them," Faith said as she shoved the stake into his chest.
"Owww!" screamed the vampire. "That bloody hurts!"
"Here Faith, use this hammer and pound it in," coached Angel.
"Neat!" exclaimed Faith as the vampire crumbled into dust. "Will I be able to do that without help when I get cured?"
"You'll be able to shove a stake through a bank vault," Angel promised her.
"Had enough for one night then, luv?" asked Spike.
"It's tomorrow, right, when I get changed back?" she asked.
"Yes, sweetheart," Angel told her.
"Will you take me to Hermione and Fleur tonight, then?" Faith asked.
"If that's where you want to go, sure," Angel promised.
"I could never kill you two, even if I am a Slayer," Faith told them.
"That's good to hear," Spike said with a smile.
"This has been the best month of my life," Faith said quietly, "and if this doesn't work I hope you remember that." Neither of them could speak, but they held her close.
"Faith, what a nice surprise," Hermione said as she opened the door and saw Faith with Spike and Angel.
"I want to stay with you tonight," Faith told Hermione, "if that's okay."
"Well of course it is," Fleur responded.
"We'll see you tomorrow," Angel told them, and he and Spike left.
"I'm scared," Faith confessed.
"It will be fine, darling," Hermione promised.
"Yeah, maybe," Faith admitted. "If – if you want to, you know, tonight, with me," Faith mumbled, "just in case things don't work out tomorrow, I mean. I'd be okay with it."
"Things will work out, Faith," Hermione assured her through the tears, "and when you want that, Fleur and I will oblige, but tonight we will hold you and protect you, just like you have protected us and so many others."
"Oui, mon petite," Fleur told her, "with us your heart is safe. We like being in love with you even more than making love with you, do you see?" Faith's smile squeezed both their hearts.
"Okay, why don't you grab a few beers while I set up a couple movies?" Faith said brightly. "And if you guys want to make out, go ahead!"
"Faith, the irrepressible," Hermione said with a smile.
"Just take everyone to the veil room, please, Hermione," Luna asked, "the seating there is good, and it will be private. Faith, are you ready?"
"Yes, I'm tired of being a kid. It's been a great month, but being weak sucks, and when I hit puberty 'Mione and Fleur are likely to land in jail. They've been kind of growing on me," Faith admitted.
"We're glad to hear it darling, see you soon," Fleur told her.
Luna stood holding Faith's hand until everyone had gone through the door to the veil room.
"Let's go," Luna said, and she led Faith through a different door. "This is what we're looking for," Luna told her, pointing to a large bell jar. Inside it an egg was floating, and as Faith watched, it floated up, hatched, grew, and then returned to egghood. "This will slide you back along your personal timeline, Faith. When you reach the point where you were bitten, I'll remove you from the jar and give you the antidote."
"Okay, sounds easy enough," Faith agreed. "I know you from somewhere," Faith said slowly, "don't I?"
"We've met before," Luna admitted.
"I won't remember all this, will I?"
"You will in your dreams, and you will know that all of your friends truly love you for who you are, not just for your power," Luna promised.
"Okay, let's go." Luna waved her wand and Faith's eyes closed, and then Luna moved her into the jar.
Faith started out a bit younger in the jar, and as Luna watched she saw her growing, saw injuries appear and fade away, until the woman she knew was before her. Luna closely watched Faith's left cheek, and when the punctures appeared there she quickly drew her out of the jar, and with a dropper put a drop of the antidote in each fang mark, and one more on her tongue.
Faith convulsed, went rigid, and then relaxed. The dark eyes fluttered open.
"Luna, what happened? I had the weirdest dream…" Luna smiled and filled her in.
"Rest here while I take care of the others," Luna told her, helping Faith to a chair. "I'll be back soon."
"She's fine, and she's back," Luna announced as she entered the veil room, and before anyone could ask a question she had the whole lot asleep.
"This is going to take a little work," Luna muttered.
"Skating on the Thames!" read the headline in the "Times".
"What do you suppose caused that?" Hermione asked over breakfast.
"No idea," Fleur replied, "I'm sorry we missed it though."
"Well, we could hardly take time off from the antidote to go skating," Hermione countered.
"True, I would rather slide around on Faith, anyway," Fleur admitted.
"Glad to hear it," Faith said as she strode nude into the kitchen. "Here," she said, tossing a strapon to each of them. "Get these on and join me, something came to me in a dream…"