We drove until the sun was high in the sky, the snow almost completely melted. Daryl had spotted a small cabin tucked nicely into the woods, and after circling the area for about an hour, he decided it was better than nothing.
Once he stepped out of the van, I turned around and opened the back door, letting the wolves out before Judith and I followed. Normally, Daryl would scope the area out before either of us were free to follow, but we both had to pee, and rather than hold it any longer, we eagerly made a beeline for a nearby bush.
"Better?" I asked Judith moments later. She was struggling to fasten the button to her jeans, so with one hand, I quickly did it for her.
"Yeah!" she said with a huge sigh of relief that brought a smile to my lips. She took my hand, her tiny fingers as cold as ice against the warmth of my own hands. I led the way back to the van, where we waited for Daryl to give us the all clear.
"The cabin's empty. I checked every corner, you guys can go in," he said as he came outside a few moments later. "But be careful. There's a lot of debris around."
I nodded and led Judith inside. The air was stale and cold, but it was shelter, the first real shelter we had had in a very long time. There was a fireplace in the middle of the living room, so I set to work right away, clearing away the old charcoal and ash, before putting a few of the dry logs inside. I was surprised to find the pile of wood next to the fireplace, but decided to overlook it.
It took me a few tries before I managed to get the fire lit, but once it was, Judith and I clang to one another, waiting for the warmth to fill our veins. The sound of claws hitting wood made me look up, only to see Darry running inside, mud covering his paws.
"Hey," I laughed, telling him to sit. He skidded to a stop, his tag thumping lightly against the floor. I walked over to him and used the old, ratty bandana Daryl had given me years ago to wipe the mud off his feet. I don't know why I bothered, but it felt like something my mama would have done.
"Lucy!" Judith wailed. I looked up instantly, my heart jumping in my throat. Judith was standing by the fire, looking a little paler than normal.
"What's wrong Jude?" I asked. I tucked the bandana back into my pocket before going over to her.
"I'm cold!" she said innocently.
"Wait till Daryl gets in here, then I'll try to fish out the old quilt from the bottom of the food bin," I said softly. I pulled her close, rubbing my hands up and down her arms to warm her up and bit.
"But Daryl's gonna take forever!" she wailed.
"Fine, then stay here with Darry, okay?" I said, tapping my leg so the wolf would come over. He did instantly, his wail wagging back and forth. "Don't move from this spot, ya hear?"
"Yes ma'am," she said, her eyes shining in the dim light. I gave her a quick kiss on the head, before turning as quickly as possible, making my way back through the old, squeaky door. I ran to the van, the cold air chilling me as soon as it hit my skin. I was about to jump in the van, when I noticed Daryl staring off into the distance, his face masking all emotion.
"Daryl, you good?" I asked, carefully coming up beside him. The last thing I wanted was the spook him. But it took a lot of spook Daryl.
He said nothing, didn't even look down at me like he normally did. I sighed, weighing my options, before reaching for his hand. His skin was ice cold to the touch.
"Daryl, go inside. I'll bring in the bags," I said softly. He didn't move. "Earth to Daryl, do you read?"
"Huh?" he blinked, looking down at me. I smiled up at him, fighting back a laugh.
"Someone's spacey," I joked. Daryl snarled at me, before asking what I wanted.
"You good?" I asked softly. I knew better than to pry. But something was definitely bothering Daryl.
"Yeah. Where's Jude?" he asked.
"Inside. She's freezing. It's gonna take a few hours to kill the chill in there. It's drafty. Where's Carly?" I asked.
"She ran off into the woods. Probably caught wind of a rat or something," he shrugged. "You getting the bin?"
"No, just lookin' for the quilt. Figured it'd keep Judith warm until the fire kicks up the heat. You need me to get anything?" I replied.
"Bring in the bags and the cans if you can carry 'em," he nodded. He turned to walk away, but I grabbed his arm before he could.
"You know, I might be jus' a kid an' all, but you can talk to me if somethin's wrong," I said softly. Gently.
"Nothing's wrong, Lucy, stop pestering me," he said harshly. His tone hit me like a ton of bricks. I nodded once, then turned on my heel, practically running to the van. I slammed the door shut behind me, not even caring how it must've seemed to him.
See, Daryl tried his best not to snap at me and Jude. Actually, he never snapped at Jude. Maybe once or twice when she did something that really put our lives at risk, but other than that, he was sweet to her. Me on the other hand, I got snapped at a lot. Actually, half the time it's for being helpful. But it didn't bother me. Because Daryl saved us. He fought his butt off to keep us alive. That's more than anyone else ever did for us.
Tears rolled down my cheeks as I dug through the bin of canned goods. We were down to the last of the beans and soups. But we'd find more. We normally did. I found the quilt, and after carefully pulling it free, I wrapped up a few cans of beans and soup in it, before pushing our bags to the front of the van. When I opened the door, Daryl damn neared scared me to death.
"I'm sorry, kiddo," he said softly. He forced a smile. It didn't reach his eyes. I nodded once and handed him his bag.
"Don't say sorry," I said shortly. "I get it, you don't wanna talk 'bout whatever it is that's eatin' you up inside."
"That's not it, kid," he said softly. Carefully. "You're too young to understand it," he said honestly.
"I might be young, but I ain't dumb," I said stubbornly, pushing him out of my way. "Come inside, so Judith isn't 'fraid, okay?"
"Sure," he said softly. I knew my attitude made him sad, but I didn't care. I was cold, tired, and quite frankly, I wasn't feeling too great. Eating half spoiled beans and god only knows what kind of meat was really gettin' to me. And running 'round scared all the time didn't help either.
"You still got your mama's bag?" Daryl asked as he followed close behind me.
I turned around, caught off guard. Daryl hasn't asked about my mama's stuff in a long time. Not for the last year or two at least.
"Uh, yeah, it's in my bag, why?" I asked slowly.
"'Cause I wanna see that book of hers," he said, coming up beside me. "The one you never look at."
"Her journal? Why?" I practically screamed.
"Because, there's somethin' I gotta know," he said lightly.
"No," I said softly. "No, that ain't fair to my mama."
"Shoot, it ain't what you think, kid. I need to see somethin' else," he said with a tight smile. "There's something she wasn't telling us the day she took off to get supplies…"
"You mean the day she died," I said coldly. "Whatever it is, it ain't important. My mama died that day, and I really don't want no one knowing what went on those last few moments."
"Lucy," Daryl said, his patience wearing thin.
"Daryl," I retorted with the same attitude.
"Lucy Marie, you're gonna do as I say, you hear? Now, when we get inside, you're handing that damn book over, whether you want to or not!" he snapped.
Tears welled in my eyes. I didn't understand why he was so damn determined to read my mama's journal. Whatever he thought it said…It must've been important.
I wanted to hate him. I wanted to be mad. But I couldn't. Daryl choose to save us, all those years ago. No one said he had to. He coulda took Carol or Glenn or Beth. Instead, he fought to keep me and Jude alive. How do you hate someone that sacrificed so much just to keep you alive?
Simple. You don't.
A/n - For those of you who haven't read "The Outbreak" you're going to be a little behind for these next few chapters. The last half of "TO" gives you a little bit of foreshadowing for this story. :)
I want to thank those who have stuck with me, through TO and now onto BTL! You have no idea how rewarding it is to come on here and read your responses after a long day at work! I promise, this story in particular is going to be my baby, because it doesn't have to follow any real canon, plus, with new characters, Daryl being older, Judith being old enough to talk - it gives me so much more freedom, which I love!
Keep reading, and stay beautiful, loves!