September 11, 2001

The three of them sat in the living room staring at the television in disbelief. It was as though they were watching a terribly bad action movie with incredible special effects instead of the local (and now National) news. How could it possibly be real? How could someone do something so horrific, causing so much death and destruction?

The two steel grey buildings, known as the Twin Towers or, more commonly the World Trade Center, were burning like mad and smoke was everywhere. People were screaming as they fled the scene and some were even jumping out of windows. Daphne's mouth trembled as she tried to hold in her emotions. "H-how…" was all she could think of to say.

"I don't know, Daphne." The nearly unrecognizable voice startled her and she turned to see Frasier. It was then that she realized that she'd been so caught up in the tragedy unfolding on television that she'd almost completely forgotten that he was sitting beside her. But just when she thought the situation couldn't get any worse, the buildings collapsed to the ground; first one, and then the other.

"NO!" Daphne, Martin and Frasier screamed, almost in unison.

Daphne was sobbing uncontrollably now, unable to believe that this was happening. The elder Crane men sat on either side of her, doing their best to provide comfort. She cried until she was spent, not only because of the tragic loss of life or the shock of what was happening in America (in one of its' biggest cities; New York City, home of the Statue of Liberty, a symbol of freedom and justice for all), but because something else was wrong.

Something very wrong.

It shouldn't be Frasier and Martin who were comforting her now. It should be Donny; the man who had stood before her and promised to love her in sickness and health, to love and comfort for better and for worse. And this was definitely one of the worst times in her life; in everyone's life. So why wasn't he here? And where was he?

Her mind went back to months earlier, when the world was thought to be safe…..

May 2001

She'd awakened extremely early, at around 5am, intent on surprising Donny with a lavish breakfast in bed, an afternoon of lovemaking, a romantic picnic lunch in the park and even more lovemaking until it was time for a candlelight dinner after which more lovemaking would follow. What better way to celebrate the first anniversary of their marriage than sharing their love for each other in the most intimate way possible? Her heart fluttered just thinking about it. She could hardly believe that they'd been married for an entire year. Their one year anniversary. She could hardly wait to-

She sat up in bed and glanced to her left, dismayed to find that the bed was empty. Curious, she rose to her feet and pulled on her silk green robe, a gift from Donny for her birthday. It wasn't her favorite shade of green, nor was it even her favorite color. She suspected that if asked point-blank, Donny would have no idea what her favorite color was. And as she'd told herself time and time again, it didn't really matter. But it did matter. Even though a favorite color was the smallest, most insignificant detail two people in love needed to know about each other, it still mattered to her.

She had been so busy taking care of Martin and the domestic side of their marriage that she hadn't even realized that her birthday had arrived. That is, until Donny arrived home with a beautifully wrapped box. After kissing him in gratitude for his thoughtfulness, she'd torn into it anxiously and then kissed him once more; this time with a hunger that told him how much she loved the beautiful gift and how much she wanted to be with him that evening... and every evening that followed. He'd gratefully obliged his determination to please her making her happier than she'd ever dreamed.

"This was what marriage was about". She told herself as she lay in his arms listening to him snore softly. This is what she'd always wanted; pure and complete happiness. It was true that on their wedding day she'd had her reservations about marrying him, but after a night of passion and the beautiful gift, she no longer doubted her instincts. Over time, she'd learned to trust them. She loved him with everything she had.

Now she moved through the house with a new determination, looking everywhere she could think of. "Donny? Sweetheart? Where are you?" She padded through their luxurious apparent with anticipation, but apprehension filled her with each step.

Where was he?

She was about to go outside and check in the garage when she saw it; the note that sat on the kitchen table. Her eyes filled with tears as she picked it up and she didn't even have to read it to know what it said. But her heart held the faintest hint of hope, as it always did, and she carefully unfolded the paper. One last time she prayed silently that her premonition was wrong.

Daph-

Got a call about 3am from a client. Big crises with Madison/Keller account so I'm going to the office now. Could take hours, possibly into the night. Don't wait up

-D

The note crumpled in her hand and she began to sob; her dream of a wonderful first anniversary lost forever.

Damn him. Damn him for doing this to her.

She was still sobbing when she opened her eyes, blinking in momentary confusion. She was no longer in her kitchen but in Frasier's living room. In one instant it all came back to her; the tragedy that was unfolding on the television, the uncertainty that she and those whom she loved would ever be safe again, and the gentle hands of Frasier and Martin as they did their best to comfort her.

The tears she cried now were no longer about the tragedy that had occurred on American soil but about the state of her marriage.

Oh God, where was Donny? Why wasn't he here, when she needed him the most? Calling him now, even to tell him that she loved him and just wanted to hear his voice, was out of the question and simply not an option. Donny had told her in no uncertain terms not to bother him at work; ever.

Apparently he considered a phone call from his wife to be bothersome.

And now with the onslaught of this tragedy, he was certain to become busier than he was before. Surely there would be marriages that crumbled as a result of what was happening, although Daphne hoped that it would bring people together; not tear them apart. But as Donny always said, tragedies of any kind were good for business. Clearly his work came before his marriage. It was funny how it had always seemed that way. Why hadn't she realized it a long time ago; most importantly the day that he lowered himself to one knee and promised her the stars? But she should have realized that a long time ago.

Perhaps she had, but had just chosen to ignore it.

And now like a bad dream, her mind drifted back even further, to their honeymoon….

Early June 2000

They'd come back from their honeymoon in Antigua Bay and had barely unpacked when Donny dove headfirst into his work, leaving her alone and feeling a bit unwanted.

She had hoped that they could recreate at least the feeling of being alone on a deserted beach in their own home; their own bed. But clearly that wasn't going to happen.

"Daphne, that's ridiculous!" he'd laughed when she at last confided in him, albeit months later. "Why would you say that I'm ignoring you?"

"Because, Donny, I-." She stopped, regarding him carefully before continuing. "I want a baby, Donny. A child. Children. I want a family."

"Aw, honey, I want that too. You know I do."

Her eyebrows rose. "Really? Because at our wedding reception you said-."

"Who the hell cares what I said at our wedding? I was drunk, Daphne! Everyone was! Kids are great and of course I want them. I want tons of kids; fill the whole damn house with them! Just… not now, okay?"

She sighed deeply, feigning a smile as she let him kiss her. "All right Donny. But when?"

He grinned at her. "As soon as I win a few more cases, okay? Then I'll be at the top of my game."

"That's all our marriage is to you, isn't it Donny? A game?"

She hadn't meant to say the words out loud, but now that she had there was no taking them back. But as usual, he hadn't heard her. He never heard her, even when she had nothing to say.

Now she stared at the television, feeling numb as she listened to Frasier on the phone, saying words of comfort to Frederick, as only a concerned father could. And then she saw Martin talking to Eddie as though his beloved pet was human and as though in doing so it would bring him solace. The Jack Russell Terrier whimpered and whined, jumping into Martin's waiting arms as though Eddie sensed that something terrible had happened. If only he knew how terrible it really was.

More tears slid down her cheeks, this time for the man who was not here. Daphne had long since stopped keeping track of the number of times that she'd asked about Niles. It was beginning to seem like Niles had simply vanished, taking the concern of everyone with him.

Each time her question had been met with hesitation and resistance from Frasier and Martin which led to a string of answers that, when put together, made absolutely no sense whatsoever.

Why didn't Niles come by anymore, to see his brother and gush about a new restaurant, wine or opera? Why hadn't he come to see his father, or to invite himself over for dinner? Why hadn't he come to see Daphne, when it was clear that he was in love with her… or had been. Why were there no phone calls, or even mentions of the younger Dr. Crane?

Why?

The excuses came rapidly, almost faster than her questions…

"He calls! He comes by, just not when you're here, Daphne! He's a newlywed and so are you. Your priorities are different now!" This, from Martin.

"But even as a newlywed, he should still stop by!" Daphne replied in protest.

Frasier seemed to ponder this statement. "Well, I agree Daphne, but the truth is that Niles and Mel-."

"Are overseas!" Martin interjected.

"Dad, please!" Frasier hissed.

"What's going on?" She demanded. "Why hasn't he come over? It's been much too long! It's been months since he's stepped foot in this living room!" And then the unthinkable hit her. "I- Is something wrong with your brother?" she asked Frasier. She turned to Martin. "And your youngest son?"

"No, nothing's wrong! Nothing at all!" The men replied a bit too quickly, their voices overlapping one another.

"You're lying." She said, bringing the Crane men to silence. "I can see it on your faces!"

Frasier nodded. "You're right Daphne. We haven't been entirely honest with Dad's right. Niles is overseas… with Mel. Right now, they should be in France. Provence, if I'm correct."

"In France? But-."

"They decided to take a year-long honeymoon with a trip around the world." Martin explained, rather badly.

"That's right." Frasier agreed. "Niles wanted to surprise Mel and I told him that a trip around the world would be the perfect-."

Daphne sighed dreamily, imagining such a place. "It sounds wonderful. But a year? That's-."

"A bit unconventional, I agree." Frasier finished quietly. But Niles is determined to make this marriage work and for that I applaud him."

Daphne swallowed hard; the guilt inside her returning. The guilt she hadn't felt in well over a year. And still it was there, deep inside of her.

She sank onto the arm of the sofa in disbelief, at once realizing that she was sitting in the same exact spot where Niles had sat time and time again.

Why wasn't he here? She could understand that he was on an extended honeymoon, but how many couples, even wealthy ones like Niles and most likely Mel, could afford to spend an entire year in Europe and away from work? Niles had patients to attend to and Mel… well; she was bound to have patients and obligations of her own. How could they possibly-

"Daphne?"

The memory vanished at once and she found herself once again in Frasier's living room. And the reality of what the television stations were now calling "9/11" hit her hard. She was grateful for the comfort of Frasier and Martin, she really and truly was. But she couldn't help wondering…

She closed her eyes, imagining but for a moment that Niles was here, sitting beside her on the sofa, holding her close, kissing away her tears, telling her that everything would be all right, even when she knew that he was fully aware that it would never be all right; that things would never be as they were again. As she cried, he would hold her closer, for as long as she needed him to, through the night, doing his best to comfort her. He'd try to explain, in his silly psychological jargon, how such a tragedy could affect people, only to realize that that it wasn't his words that she needed to hear but the comfort and warmth of his touch.

But Niles was gone, perhaps on his whirlwind honeymoon and perhaps not. But it didn't matter anyway. She was alone, even when surrounded by the men who loved her.

She loved them dearly but she feared as did the rest of the world in the wake of 9/11, that things would never be the same. If only she could take back the things she'd said on the balcony that night. Things she had done...

If only.