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(Note: This is a retelling of the events of "The Party", retold in fanfic form by none other than intrepid fanfic scribbler, Beast Boy!)
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Beast Boy
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Hey, Dudes and Dudettes!
Isn't this a great place? Lots of amazing Teen Titans fanfic!
And, there's even a section with Justice League fanfic.
So senior citizens can have something to read, I suppose.
(Because the Justice League is like, really really old.)
(They are like, totally ancient.)
(And they have that "old people smell" about them.)
(Old and smelly, smelly old Justice League...)
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Anyway, it's time for more splendiferous infotainment!
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(Based on a true story!)
Clash of the Chicks: Argent vs Supergirl !
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One day, there was a summer garden party on Titans Island. Everybody showed up, it was very nice, there were eight different kinds of potato salad.
Jericho was on top of a great big rock in the garden, playing his guitar. There were plastic wading pools full of ice cubes and bottles of pop and fruit juice. Everybody was standing around, talking and eating sandwiches and stuff.
Suddenly, something happened. Supergirl came gliding down from the sky, and she landed lightly on the big rock, right next to where Jericho was sitting. Everybody was surprised, people said "Hey, it's Supergirl!" Supergirl smiled and waved at everybody. Supergirl was incredibly beautiful, so beautiful that she almost seemed to shine with an angelic inner light. Which was totally amazing.
Um, if you like that sort of thing.
So anyway after a while some other stuff happened. And a while after that, Supergirl was standing around the buffet tables.
Yes, Supergirl was standing around the buffet tables, and she was very pretty, I suppose. Yes. She was wearing little shiny red vinyl go-go boots, and a sky-blue ultra-sheer spandex microskirt, and a little red cape, and a brilliant white half-tee shirt that just fit snug as shrink-wrap. Yes. And she had cascading radiant blonde hair, and eyes that were just so impossibly blue, blue as arctic glacier ice, yes.
Um, what was I doing again? Oh yes, I'm writing a story. Hmm.
So anyway, Supergirl was standing around the buffet tables. And Beast Boy also just happened to be standing around the buffet tables. You know, just completely casual and innocent, just sort of standing around. Minding his own business, that type of thing.
But Robin was also standing around the buffet tables, and he was like totally blatantly obviously just checking out Supergirl. And Beast Boy thought, gee Robin is such a total perv.
So anyway, Beast Boy was just standing around minding his own business, and Robin was standing there gawking at Supergirl and practically drooling like a goon.
But then, something happened. Argent walked up to Supergirl, and the two of them started talking about something. But then, Supergirl got really mad at Argent, and started yelling at her. Then Argent got really scared, and jumped off the balcony and flew away, with Supergirl in totally hot pursuit.
Beast Boy wondered what the heck was going on, so he morphed into a peregrine falcon and flew after them. Supergirl was still shouting at Argent and trying to catch her, but Argent was using a lot of sneaky maneuvers to escape. It was an epic battle of chick versus chick! Finally, Argent did a particularly tricky half-turn roll and dive, and disappeared from the sky. Supergirl looked all around, but couldn't find her.
Anyway, after a while Beast Boy got bored of watching Supergirl, and flew back to the island. Nothing much happened for a while. Eventually the party started to wind down, and people said their goodbyes and headed home.
After a while, all the guests had left. Robin, Starfire, Cyborg and Beast Boy cleaned up a little here and there, and then walked back to the tower.
"Hey, where is Raven?" said Beast Boy.
"She was around earlier." said Robin.
"She must be around here somewhere." said Cyborg.
"Perhaps she is in the kitchen." said Starfire.
So the Titans looked in the kitchen, but Raven wasn't there. Just at that moment, there was a whooshing sound, and Supergirl stalked into the kitchen. She seemed very angry.
"Where are Raven and Argent?" Supergirl demanded.
"We don't know." said Robin.
"Fine. I will just wait for them." Supergirl said angrily. Then she pulled up a chair and sat down at the kitchen table. She started drumming her fingers on the table, and her fingers were leaving dents in the table.
"Um, your fingers are making dents in the table." said Cyborg.
"How about that." said Supergirl.
"Um, I could get you a coaster, for your fingers." said Cyborg.
Supergirl glared at Cyborg.
"Or not." said Cyborg.
Beast Boy wondered what Argent and Raven had done to make Supergirl so mad.
Those two were always getting into situations, thought Beast Boy.
Then Beast Boy thought that maybe he could make Supergirl calm down, by offering her a slice of cold pizza.
"Um, would you like a slice of cold pizza?" Beast Boy said to Supergirl.
"Beat it, twerp." Supergirl said to Beast Boy.
"Yeesh!" said Beast Boy.
Then Robin thought that maybe he could make Supergirl calm down, by offering her a Teen Titans communicator.
"Um, would you like a Teen Titans communicator?" Robin said to Supergirl.
Supergirl took the communicator from Robin, and crushed it in her fist. Then she threw it over her shoulder. Most of it landed in the kitchen sink.
"Yikes!" said Robin.
Then Starfire thought that maybe she could make Supergirl calm down, by talking about alien things.
"Um, greetings, good Kryptonian." Starfire said to Supergirl. "Um, enjoy the Reticulan opera, do you? It is both melodic and symphonic, would you not say?"
"Is there some reason that you are talking like Yoda?" Supergirl said to Starfire.
"Oh." said Starfire.
Then the Titans all more or less decided that it might be best to hide in the basement, until Supergirl went away.
So anyway, the Titans all hid quietly in the basement. After a few hours, Beast Boy said "Do you think it might be safe to go upstairs now?"
"Let's wait a bit longer." said Robin.
Then after a few more hours, Cyborg said "Would anyone like to go upstairs now?"
"No, I like it down here." said Starfire. "There is a board of darts, and a table of billiards. And no enraged Kryptonians."
And then after a few more hours, the basement window opened, and Raven and Argent snuck into the basement.
"Aha." said Robin.
"Have you guys seen Supergirl?" said Raven.
"Yes, she is waiting upstairs." said Cyborg.
"Waiting to kill you two." said Beast Boy.
"Oh dear." said Argent.
"What trouble have you two caused?" said Starfire.
"A complete misunderstanding." said Raven.
"Really not our fault." said Argent.
"A likely story." said Robin.
So the Titans all hid in the basement until the next morning.
"Does anyone want to check upstairs?" said Robin.
"No, I'm rather attached to my arms." said Argent.
"Yeah, I've grown accustomed to my face." said Raven.
So the Titans remained hidden in the basement for a few days. There was a freezer full of popsicles, which they ate. First they ate the orange popsicles, then the grape popsicles, and lastly the lemon popsicles.
Finally after three days, the Titans were completely out of popsicles, so they decided to carefully creep upstairs. Supergirl was nowhere to be seen.
So anyway, the Titans all felt a bit sick from living on popsicles for three days. And Robin wanted Raven and Argent to explain what they did to make Supergirl so mad, but they refused to explain. (But it stands to reason that it must have been something quite awful.) And that was basically all that happened, more or less.
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THE END
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(But I can write more, if you want.)
(Or maybe I shouldn't.)
(I might get into trouble, with certain persons.)
(Like, for example, Raven and Argent, hypothetically.)