Chapter Two
Anxiety

The queer feeling in the pit of Kristina's stomach had gotten much worse over the course of the next hour. It was not expected in the slightest, which crushed her mood more than she wished. What started as just a stomach ache turned to heart palpitations, a general feeling of dread that could not be explained in the slightest, and erratic breathing when she could feel the nausea getting worse. Her leg began bouncing up and down, and continued even after she accidentally banged it right on the bottom of the desk.

"Oh FUCK!" Kristina cussed as her leg bounced too high and hit the desk.

"Kris?" Erin looked at her funny. "You okay?"

"Y-Yeah..." Kristina muttered in full embarrassment when she realized everyone was looking at her.

Suddenly, the unfamiliar feeling got worse — as a flash of warmth fell over her — and Kristina knew she needed to leave. She anxiously raised her hand for Professor Emily Doon and she looked at her.

"Miss Magi," she nodded.

"P-Professor," Kristina started. "May I please be excused to the nurse? I don't feel quite well..."

"Of course you may, my dear," Professor Doon nodded.

"May I be excused to escort her to the nurse?" Erin asked. "I worry she may not make it there on her own."

"No, of course you may," Professor Doon agreed. "Please feel better, Miss Magi. You most definitely look ill. I don't need you sick all over my desks!"

Kristina forced a wry smile on her face as she stood up and picked up her backpack.

"Thank you, Professor..." she choked out, reaching a shaky hand for her textbook. Erin swatted her hand away and grabbed the book herself and grabbed Kristina's hand to lead her out of the classroom. As fast as they possibly could, Kristina and Erin made their way to the nurse's office.

"What did you do in the middle of class to make you drop the 'f-bomb'?" Erin wondered as they scrambled.

"My legs were bouncing up and down," Kristina answering. "I accidentally bounced my knee up too high and slammed it into the table."

"Restless leg syndrome? But I've never seen that in you before," Erin commented.

"Dunno, just started out of the blue," Kristina admitted.

"Restless, shaking, your breathing sounds weird, your heart is pounding—I can feel it in your wrist—and...are you nauseous? You look a bit like you're about to vomit," Erin looked up. "Oh I know these symptoms! I bet it's anxiety!"

"Anxiety?" Kristina repeated.

"It's a mental health disorder," Erin told her. "What? Did you not read the Gregor the Overlander books?"

Kristina shook her head, "No...I was too busy reading books like Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and Fahrenheit 451."

"Well, in any case, anxiety disorder is basically excessive worry, anxiety, or fear that is enough to disrupt your day-to-day life," Erin explained to her.

"I did not know that was a thing..." Kristina muttered, gripping at her stomach. "I feel really sick, can we go to the restroom? It's closer."

"You don't think you'll make it?" Erin asked.

"Not particularly," Kristina muttered.

"Right, restroom..." Erin led her to the bathroom, keeping a tight grip on her hand to make sure she knew if Kris was about to collapse. "Hang in there, Kris."

"Yeah," Kristina moaned. "Frick me..."

When they got to the girl's restroom, Kristina let go of Erin's hand and dashed inside as fast as she could when Professor Snape had approached them. Both Snape and Erin were startled by Kristina running into the bathroom. Erin had intended to follow her in but now Professor Snape was glancing at her in curiosity. Anxious, she glanced into the bathroom but did not go in. Then, she glanced back at her potions master.

"Is something the matter with my dearest Kristina?" Professor Snape wondered.

"Uhm, yeah, I suspect she has anxiety," Erin admitted. Whoops. Hopefully Kristina did not need her hair held back.

"Anxiety?" Professor Snape looked in the restroom when he heard retching. "Dear me...she looked perfectly fine before the two of you left class."

"It kinda snuck up on her," Erin admitted. "Then again, she'd been looking pretty bad since lunch but I didn't think it was anything serious."

Professor Snape sighed heavily, "So were you planning on taking her to the nurse?"

"Yeah," Erin nodded. "That's what we'd originally told Professor Doon but we needed to take a detour to the restroom..."

After hearing a loud 'thump', Snape leaned his ear into the restroom curiously.

"Kristina, my dear, are you okay?" he asked, genuinely worried.

"Fine, fine," Kristina responded. "I think...ow...sonuva..."

Snape shook his head and sighed.

"Her mother will be oh so pleased to hear of this," he grumbled.

"Hm?" Erin looked up at him.

"Her mother also suffers from anxiety," Professor Snape responded. "Chances are, Kristina inherited it from her mother...and just as likely, this trial has triggered the anxiety."

"I would think so," Erin agreed.

Snape drew his lips back in a frown as he thought, "Hm. Calming draught. I think that will do her well. Poor thing."

"Calming draught? Oh yeah!" Erin nodded. "That would be helpful."

"Kristina, when you are done in there, I'd like to take you back to my classroom," Professor Snape said into the bathroom.

"Okay..." Kristina grumbled.

Soon, they heard shuffling and then the toilet flushing. After the sound of running water ended, Kristina finally came out looking worse than she did before. Even the shaking and sweating had escalated. However, it did seem as though the nausea went away for a little bit. Kristina's chestnut bangs were damp with sweat. From the expression on her face, she looked like she wanted to be put out of her misery. Professor Snape gently placed an arm around her and brought her close to him.

"It's okay, my child," he told her, trying to help soothe her nerves. "Sh, sh...it's okay. We're going to my classroom and I'm going to give you a Calming Draught, alright?"

"Calming Draught?" Kristina asked in a shaky voice. Kristina went through the list of ingredients in her head and then remembered what it was. "Oh I know..."

"Mhm," Professor Snape nodded. "You know exactly what it is. I showed your class, you know. Miss Hartnell, you may join us if you wish."

"Sure," Erin nodded. "I'll stay so I can take her back to our room safely."

"Mm," Professor Snape agreed and led them back to his classroom. Nobody was there, as his class had dismissed ten minutes prior. This was his lunch hour, not that he minded helping his dearest niece. In fact, Professor Snape was not feeling up to eating lunch today.

Carefully, he lead a shaky Kristina to his classroom. Once there, he led her to his seat and he sat her down. Erin caught up and stood next to her, staying quiet. Shakily, Kristina ran her fingers through her hair several times, another sign that she was anxious. Professor Snape placed his hands on his hips and shook his head slowly. He knew, for a fact, that her mother will be most certainly displeased at this novel notion. After a couple of moments of thought, he dropped his hands to his sides and nodded towards the bookcase of potions.

"I shall find the potion," Professor Snape assured her. "Try not to be sick."

"Yes, Uncle Severus," Kristina forced. "Ugh..."

Swiftly, he spun around on his heels and stalked towards his bookcase. Potions were lined up in the bookcase, and after carefully examining each label to find the one that said 'Calming Draught'. Once he found the small vial of potion, he selected it and popped the cork on it. Without another thought, he turned back around and brought it over to Kristina.

"My dear," he offered it to her. "Drink the whole vial if you would. It shall help soothe your nerves within minutes."

Kristina anxiously took the vial, brought it to her lips, and gulped down the potion. Professor Snape waited for Kristina to finish before gingerly taking it away from her. He sighed as he dropped the vial on the counter.

"I'd recommend you lay down in your dorm," he cautioned. "Rest should help alleviate some of your tension that may linger after the potion helps you."

"Is that really okay?" Kristina asked.

Professor Snape nodded.

"I don't see why not," he told her and helped her stand up. "Off with you."

"Thank you, Uncle Severus," she thanked him.

"You are most welcome," he told her. "You will do as your...favorite...uncle asks of you, correct?"

"Y-Yes," Kristina finally forced a smile upon her face.

"Excellent, I suppose you two shall be on your way, then," he told them.

"You're proper awesome, Professor," Erin told him as she took Kris out.

"Of course I am," Professor Snape responded. "Now off!"

Kristina and Erin left and the girls looked at each other as they walked. Crossing her arms, Kristina turned towards the tower.

"I think I can make it back to Ravenclaw on my own," she said. "I don't want you missing more of class."

"You sure?" Erin asked. "I'm perfectly fine with escorting you back to our room."

"No, no..." Kristina shook her head. "It's fine, Erin." She smiled wearily, "I appreciate your concern though."

Erin sighed, "I guess you're right."

"Thank you for coming with me though," Kristina told her. "I just feel really bad dragging you behind with me."

"You're welcome," Erin smiled. "I'll come bring you food later, alright?"

"Thank you," Kristina nodded and the girls both hugged.

After the hug, the girls split up in separate directions. Kristina slowly made her way up the stairs, but was startled by the unfamiliar woman from earlier that day. Jumping back a bit, she clutched her shirt over her chest and sighed at herself. The woman turned around and smiled.

"Ah, Kristina Magi!" she greeted.

"Er..." Kristina tried to remember the woman's name. Erin told her, but Kristina was awful with names. "You are?"

"Rita Skeeter from the Daily Prophet," she responded. "I'm working on an article about your cousin's trial."

"Cool," Kristina breathed. No, that was definitely NOT cool! She definitely wanted to get away, but she did not want to be rude to her.

"So tell me," Rita started. "How did this all begin? We need your point of view."

"Uhm, well..." Kristina scowled. "Desari wanted to finish her wizarding years out at Hogwarts rather than Ilvermorny, my dad decided to try and take her in instead of leaving her homeless with her mother...It was all fine and dandy but then she started being awful to me. She even locked me out of my own room. This was before the year had started too..." Kristina tried to skim through the memories rather quickly. "Anyway, I don't see how anything I say would be imperative for your article. Just because we had a shit relationship doesn't mean I had anything to do with it."

"You sure?" Skeeter asked. "At what point do you think you may have to say that you were responsible for your cousin's actions?"

Kristina stared at the woman, unsure if she should go off on her or not. She glared at her and Rita gasped, glancing over Kris's shoulder. Kristina crossed her arms and tapped her foot in irritation.

"Miss Magi..." she started. "B-Behind you."

Kristina was hit with a pang of panic. Even though the potion was working properly, something was wrong. Still, she did not so much as peek over her shoulder. She thought that Skeeter was trying to get at her.

"I'm going back to my Common Room," Kristina told her. "If you would please excuse me."

"N-No, I'm serious," Skeeter told her. "There's this darkness behind you. A-And! Oh! Your eyes! Are they...are they..."

"It's probably my pet demon," Kristina grumbled seriocomically. "In all seriousness, it's probably just my shadow, ma'am. Or Peeves. Peeves can do weird things, let's be honest here. Don't get me started on last year, though. Everything's fine Please, I must go. I'm not feeling very well."

"I'm not quite sure that's just Peeves..." Skeeter muttered. "Fine, I guess. I do hope you'll read my article when it comes out?"

"Perhaps," Kristina shrugged and headed back up the stairs. Sighing, she wondered what Skeeter was going on about. Some darkness behind her? "Bloody git. It was just Peeves. Right?" She looked around. Now that she thought about it, she could not hear Peeves cackling or anything. She scowled.

"What the hell..." she muttered. "Peeves?"

He was nowhere to be found. That probably meant he was up to something.

"Well shit..."

Sighing, she headed up to the Ravenclaw door and was greeted with a riddle.

"I have five and take away two, yet I am left with four. How is that possible?"

"Four...four..." Kristina thought about it for a couple of minutes. She pictured the word 'five' and then saw it. "OH! If you take away the 'f' and the 'e' you are left with 'iv' which is the Roman numeral for four! That makes sense."

The door swung open and Kristina walked inside. The anxious feeling from Skeeter had dissipated. It must've just been the flight-or-fight response. What she felt probably was anger. Annoyed, she slammed the door and walked through the common room. There were not many people, since it was the middle of the day during the school week.

"Maybe if I just go nap, I'll be perfectly fine," Kristina thought out loud to herself. "Sleep...I sure hope I can sleep..."

She crossed over towards the dorms and headed into her and Erin's dorm. It was the last room in the dorm, and somehow they were able to have it to themselves. It was relatively small, but it was conducive to their needs. Kristina did not even bother dressing down, she only kicked off her shoes, pulled off her robes, and jumped into bed. Curling up with her blankets, she slipped off to sleep.

x x x

Kristina woke up in a sweat an hour later. The dream she had scared her. Perhaps it was her first true nightmare. And all she did was nap, geez. Sitting up, she noticed her undershirt was soaked all the way through with sweat. So much, in fact, her sweater was damp too. Screwing up her face in disgust, she quickly took off her sweater, shirt, and even her bra and threw them on the floor. She cast a summoning charm for a clean bra and shirt from her dresser. Once she had her new clothes on, she grabbed her dream journal for Divination and began writing down the dream.

October 22, 1984

There was a mirror, and I looked into it. Instead of seeing myself, I saw a girl who looks like me except her hair was black and her eyes were red. Like, blood red. She smiled at me, but it wasn't assuring in the slightest. In fact, she instilled fear within me. That's when she disappeared and turned into like this darkness. I couldn't even begin to explain comprehensively what the darkness was.

After she finished writing, she blew on the ink for it to dry and then she set the notebook back down on her nightstand and sighed. She smelled awful now! Like wet dog. Gross! With a shake to bring herself back into the moment, she stood up and summoned clean pants and clean underwear so she could shower. Before she left, she took one last glance at her damp clothing.

"Gross," Kristina commented as her stomach churned. With a wave of her wand, she made the sweat disappear and once again, they were dry. However, she knew she still had to put them in the dirty clothes. Annoyed, she kicked the clothing closer to her bed and made a mental note to make sure she put them in her basket later.

When she left her room, she could hear more voices coming from the common room. At this point, she figured, it had to be about 4:30 in the afternoon. Enough time to take a shower before Erin came back with her supper. Sighing, she rushed off to the common showers and placed her things on a nearby bench. After that, she undressed and then headed to a shower stall. After closing the deep blue with bronze trim curtains, she began her hot shower. Quickly, she scrubbed her hair and her whole body, trying to get rid of the awful wet dog smell. After about ten minutes of scrubbing (and shaving), she turned the shower off, wrung out her short hair, and reached for a blue towel.

"Ohhh these towels are so fluffy," Kristina whispered as she dried herself off. "Perfect."

After drying herself off, she dressed quickly and pointed her wand at her hair to finish drying herself. Touching her hair to verify it was no longer even remotely damp, she nodded praise at herself and scooped up her dirty clothes and left. When she returned to her and Erin's room, she threw all of her dirty laundry into her basket and kicked it under her bed. Then, she sat back down in bed and looked at the dream she wrote down in her journal, attempting to see if she could look at it with a clearer head.

When she opened it back up to the page, she looked at the words she wrote down and found herself simply staring, not even thinking about the words. Frowning, she forced herself to concentrate.

"Darkness, and an unsmiling girl..." she muttered after a few moments of finally processing the information. "There is something strange about that..."

Then, she heard a voice. No clue who it was, but she glanced around anxiously.

"Who's there?" she asked the quiet air.

It WAS your fault.

"What was my fault?" Kristina asked. "I don't understand. Who are you? Where are you?"

It was YOUR fault, the voice repeated.

"What was my fault?" Now, Kristina was irritated. "Reveal yourself! Aparecium!" Nothing happened. The voice was still invisible. So obviously there was not a concealing charm going on here and that worried Kristina even more.

You shouldn't be alive.

"Ugh!" Kristina groaned in frustration. Not a concealing charm, so was it invisibility? "Are you invisible?"

The voice stopped as soon as she realized Erin was in the room. The color, what little there actually was, drained from Kristina's face when she saw Erin standing there with a bowl of soup in her hands. Worry suddenly crossed her face, and she was furrowing her dark eyebrows together to express it even more.

"Kristina?" she asked. "Uhm...are you okay?"

"Uhm..." Kristina swallowed. "I'm not even really sure."

"Is there someone in our room?" Erin asked.

Kristina looked around and sighed, "Ah, no...I suppose not..."

Kristina rubbed at her eyes and sighed.

"Fricking shit," she cursed in frustration. "I might sound crazy, Erin, but I think I heard a voice...it was telling me 'it was your fault' and 'you shouldn't be alive' to me. I don't even know what they were talking about. What was my fault? And why shouldn't I be alive? Like..."

"Are you..." Erin started cautiously. "Are you feeling suicidal?"

"Not particularly..." Kristina told her. "Erin...is there something wrong with me?"

"I'm beginning to think this is more than anxiety," Erin told her straight up. "Look, we'll have Professor Snape take you to St. Mungo's, they may have an answer for this."

"Why not Madam Pomfrey?" Kristina asked.

"Oh shoot, I jumped straight to the wrong thing," Erin sighed. "Sorry. Madam Pomfrey. Silly me. Professor Snape wouldn't have to take you there. Unless you want him to, of course." She grinned.

"Dunno, I could certainly do with having Uncle Severus right about now..." Kristina muttered. "Feel pretty freaked out, let's be honest here."

"So..." Erin started. "What, today's...Tuesday?"

"Yeah," Kris nodded.

"Hm, waiting until Saturday may not be a good idea..." Erin sighed. "We'll go to Madam Pomfrey first thing in the morning, then. Alright?"

"Yeah..." Kristina agreed. "We can do that."

"Madam Pomfrey will be able to tell us what is going on," Erin told her. "Because this is more than anxiety. "

"Yeah," Kristina nodded. "Must be."

"Here's your food, by the way," Erin handed the bowl over. "Eat up, you need to eat."

"Yeah," Kristina nodded in agreement and took the bowl from her. "Thank you, Erin."

"Of course," Erin smiled timidly.

Kristina turned around, sat down on her bed and awkwardly began eating her supper. After she finished, Erin made the bowls disappear and reappear back in the Great Hall. Then, the two of them began on their homework for their classes, including double Potions. Although Professor Snape had teased her earlier in the day about writing a story, she honestly had no desire to make it a story either which way. The idea did not even appeal to her. After she finished writing the essay, and once Erin was done, they decided to turn in early and attempt to sleep.