the truth or dare EXTRAVAGANZA

by The Golden City

Yeah. We've all seen it before, but join in for dangerous dares, terrific truths and the most horrificly unorganized hosts around! This is... THE TRUTH OR DARE EXTRAVAGANZA!

2. Chapter 2

Previously on Truth or Dare EXTRAVAGANZA!

"Hey, hey… Do you have the cool Narrating hat? No. So shut your muzzle and let me finish."

"Aliens! We should use aliens, and they could be all like 'Pew, pew, pew' and Nitro can die and be all like 'AVENGE ME!' and stuff!"

"THE FUR! DON'T TOUCH THE FUR!"

"There was a phone call."

AND COMMENCE RANDOMNESS…

"I love fried chicken." Lark purred, licking grease off her paws happily.

Nitro looked up from his piece. "Ditto." He mumbled around the lump of meat in his mouth.

Rowan spat out a bone. "Ew." He grumbled, tossing it over his shoulder. "Flare! Hook us the bucket would you?"

"Here it is!" She cheered, pushing the tub of greasy battered chicken across the table towards the eager streaked tom who now looked like he was dancing in his seat.

"Fired chicken is the beeeeeest!" He sang, quickly grabbing a drumstick and proceeding to practically swallow it whole.

Nitro raised an eye-brow. "And this is apparently how flare eats her chicken. She rips it into tiny little pieces like some kind of animal and then eats it."

Lark shrugged, fishing about for a thigh piece. "She is an animal. What do you expect?"

The grey spotted tom made a face. "Some class at least." He whined before taking in the almost guilty but very greasy faces of his fellow hosts and let his shoulders slump. "Never mind." He sighed, taking another dainty bite of his chicken.

The door was flung aside and skipper stalked in, a very annoyed look on his face. "What do you think you're doing!" He shouted.

Lark sat up a little straighter. "Not leading an underground black market scheme that will involve taking thousands of innocent lives if that's what you're thinking."

Nitro choked on his food, coughing and spluttering as Flare hammered on his back. "WHAT?" He screeched after the coughing fit was over.

The dark brown tabby hesitated under the disturbed faces of the others in the room and laughed nervously. "Hey, we aren't here for me… SKIPPER! What do you want?"

The penguin slammed his flippers on the table. "What are you eating?" He demanded.

Flare blinked. "I thought it was chicken." She turned to Lark now looking very panicky. "Is this not chicken?"

Lark raised a paw. "It is chicken." She looked back up at Skipper. "Yeah? So."

Skipper growled. "And what am I?"

Flare nodded her head. "Not a chicken." She purred grinning happily.

Rowan shook his head. "Nothing gets by you does it?"

The commando glared. "I am a penguin which is a bird like a chicken witch you are now ravenously consuming like a pack of starving wolves!" He shouted. "Do you know how much you must have scarred Private!" He paused. "And Hans who is REFUSING TO LET GO OF ME!"

Nitro leaned around the corner of the table to see the puffing gripping onto Skippers ankles with a sly grin on his face. Catching the cats eyes he winked. "Shhhhh." He mouthed.

Not even surprised the cat sat up straight and went back to his chicken, tearing off a strip. "Who wants to bet that he's doing that just to be annoying?"

Rowan smirked. "I'll put two bucks fifty on it baby giraffe."

The black and blue she-cat frowned slightly. "I disagree."

Lark sighed, standing from her chair and stretching. "Okay skipper. If you don't want us to occupy our morning piling on calories and discussing politics we'll have to find something else to do." Suddenly she produced a thick folder and slammed it on the table sending flurries of paper and pictures slipping out over the dark brown wood. Slamming her paws down the cat leaned in close, a smile on her muzzle. "Dares." She grinned.

Skipper groaned and Hans leapt to his feet.

"Nice going Skipper!" Hans spat, stalking from the room with his beak in the air.

Rowan leant back with his arms behind his head. "You own me Flare babe."

He promptly got a bucket of chicken dumped over his head.

"I never actually agreed." Flare purred, smiling happily as she continued to shred her chicken as if she hadn't just shoved a carton of food on someone's face.

Skipper's eyes widened. "No! Please, I'LL DO ANYTHING!" He wailed.

Lark raised and eye-brow and using her foot carefully pushed Skipper out the door. "So now you're complying hmm?" She dropped the pitying smirk, face darkening. "Too late." She snarled and slammed the door. Turning back to her teammates she was smirking, finding Nitro picking batter bits out of Rowans fur and Flare nibbling on her tiny bits of chicken.

"Thank god for phone calls." She grinned, spreading out the sheets of paper and consulting what they said.

Roughly 13.56374 minutes later…

"Ok, Ok. So Savio ate Clemson. Who really cared about him anyway?" Rowan sighed.

The silence that followed was deafening, eyes darting around looking for the weirdo who was going to stand up.

"Well, aren't you all very cold." Clemson sniffed, folding his arms over his chest and pointedly looking away.

Maurice stood. "But it's the principal of the thing! He can't just go around eating people all the time!"

Savio snorted, slithering to be face to face with the aye-aye. "Well, I don't go around insulting how you live do I? No! Perhaps you should think before you speak, words can be…" His tongue flickered in and out of his mouth. "Hurtful."

Julian chipped in from where he was standing. "Yeah Maurice! You should not be being so hard on this… Savio."

"Julian! Savio tried to eat you!" Private stressed, face almost pleading for the king to understand.

Julian paused. "Wait, do you mean the furry Savio or the butter Savio?"

Now it was the little penguin's turn to pause. "Well the butter one I suppose."

"MAURICE! BE HARD ON HIM! PUNISH HIM MOST SAVAGLEY!" The 'king' yelled. He opened his mouth to begin another tirade when a dictionary slammed him in the face and sent him to the floor.

Lark stepped from the shadows, rubbing her paws together. "That was a good shot. Now if you don't mind Flare and I are just going to borrow booty-for-brains. Feel free to converse amongst your selves or throw objects at Nitro."

"WHAT!" The spotted tom shrieked, jumping behind Rowan and shivering, peeking over his shoulder slightly.

Rowan scoffed. "Don't worry. I'll protect you, because as a soon to be famous star it is in my requirements to stand up for the weak and the defencele-" A mango sailed by his face and he shrieked even louder than Nitro. "YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN!" He declared, now running out the door and down the hallway with Nitro following him and an angry mob ready to smash them.

"Closet!" Nitro announced as they rounded a corner, promptly stuffing the brownish-red tom into the small space and cramming himself in after wards, barely managing to get the door closed in time for the mob of animals to come charging around the corner.

Kowalski was thinking as he ran, like usual. "Why are we even doing this?" He queried.

Rico shrugged, up chucking a chainsaw and spouting random gibberish.

"Well I suppose that's true." Kowalski Noted, rubbing his chin. "but still, what has this small carnivorous feline done to wrong us to the point of a mob mentality?"

"He is going to put us through the most horrific torture imaginable and some not! Don't you want to even the scales before the games begin?" Skipper asked, watching his second in command carefully.

"Judging on available data provided, lets crush that common stray!" He shouted, throwing a flipper up.

"Don't even try it!" Lark snapped from behind them.

Skipper turned with his hands on his hips. "Why? What are you going to do about it feline!" He mocked.

Lark smiled pityingly. "Kowalski, I feel it's time you know what Skipper did that one autumn-"

Skipper cut in. "FINE, fine!" We won't harm your second in command, as long as that never gets out." Skipper hissed stepping forward.

Hans snorted. "Says you. I'm still going to pound that-"

"Diary." Lark meowed

"On second thought, maybe not…"

The she-cat smirked. "I have a blackmail list as long as Savio on all of you. Don't make me tell everyone else about your big personal scandals. Now get back where you came from. Julian is almost ready."

MEANWHILE…

"What are they doing! I can't hear anything." Rowan whined, wriggling slightly in the small space.

"GAH!" Do you mind not doing that!"

Rowan laughed. "Nitro? What is wrong with your voice man… You sound so weird."

"I'm… Afraid of confined spaces!" He rushed out in a high squeaky voice. "Now just stop moving, I'm practically lying on top of you and every time you do move it pushes my spine into the next shelf!"

"Oops! Sorry. Hey, why did you never tell me you had claustrophobia?"

"Newly arisen, Oh sweet mother of god please stop moving!"

"Hold on… There. Much better."

"Wait… what have you done?" He stammered.

"I'm just lying on my back, relax. Don't think about the tiny space and how we could be stuck in here for possibly quite a long time with no one knowing where we are."

"Rowan." Nitro whimpered. "Please just stop. You really aren't helping right now."

There was a silence in the small shelf.

"Hey! Want to play twenty questions?"

"ROWAN!"

MEANWHILE…

"Oh, what are they doing to him? As annoying as he his I still don't want to see him get hurt." Marlene murmured worriedly.

"Don't worry." Private chirped. "I'm sure it's nothing serious."

Suddenly Lark fell through the door laughing, clutching her sides and crying all at once.

Quite a scary combination really.

Flare stepped through the door, and blinked down on the she-cat before pulling out a list and clearing her throat.

"I dare Julian to let Skipper and Maurice boss him around for the whole chapter." She meowed, now tucking the small piece of paper away again. "Julian you can come out now."

"Yeah!" He cried, jumping out of the doorway, brandishing the red feather duster. He was moderately surprised that everybody in the room decided to erupt into laughter at the sight of his get-up. "What?"

Skippers face was completely expressionless. "Where in that dare did it say that he had to wear a maids outfit?" He asked as Kowalski clutched to him desperately cracking up laughing.

Flare opened up the sheet of paper again. "I doesn't. Lark just thought it would be funny."

"And it is." She sighed, sitting up and leaning against the wall. "Thank you very much Toon92."

Maurice raised an eye brow. "So Julian has to do whatever skipper and I say?"

Julian stopped flouncing about for a moment. "Hey, hold on, you never said anything about Maurice and da stumpy penguin being allowed to boss me about! I am da king, if there is to be any bossing it is to be from me!" He demanded, prodding flare in the chest with his feather duster.

Suddenly a small voice piped up. "FEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!"

Julian turned and kicked mort as he rushed up sending him crashing backwards into Clemson.

"eeeeeevil." He muttered, staring up at the blue eyed lemur.

"That's a bit harsh isn't it?" Clemson asked.

"Shut up Clemson." Lark sighed

MEANWHILE…

"How about eye-spy?"

"No. I'm not playing a game with you!"

"Fine grouchy." He meowed sounding slightly hurt. "Ugh, do you mind getting your cast out of my face, every time I talk I graze my jaw against it."

"I can't! If I do I'll fall on top of you!"

"Why?"

"Because, I'm only being held up by your hind paws on my abdomen and my paws around your face!"

"I see." Rowan mused. "Hey! Why don't you just lay on me!"

"What?"

"Yeah, That way your cast isn't in my face, I'm not holding you up and it would probably ease your claustrophobia as well!"

"No."

"Come on." He winged. "I'm tired of holding you up!"

"No!"

"You hesitated."

The spotted tom started to whine "Rowan."

"Nitro." He mocked.

"Stop it."

"Stop it."

"I hate you so much."

"I hate you so much."

"ROWAN!"

Meanwhile…

"Truth time!" Lark sang. "Private, what is your worst memory with skipper?"

The little penguin hesitated, wringing his flippers together nervously. "Well… Uh… I suppose that time when he hadn't had enough sleep. I mean he did go a little bit bonkers!"

Skipper scowled. "I blame Ring-tail."

"Well I have to be having my bogey down time silly bossy bird." Julian sighed from where he was lounging on a chair with his feet on mort's head, the little lemur looking as happy as my cat when I fall down the stairs.

"I'm a foot rest!" he cheered

Julian exhaled "Mort? What did we say about talking?"

"Uh… Shut up a little?"

"Yes."

Skipper pointed a flipper. "Ring-tail I order you to let me blame you!"

"Wait well what- Urgh. Fine." Julian proclaimed. "But I don't have to be liking it.

Maurice piped up. "And uh… I could use a smoothie!"

Julian Scowled. "Well I would but I am not having smoothing maker!" He shouted.

Flare giggled. "Up the stairs first door on the right. Fruits in the fridge and the blenders on the bench."

Lark suddenly shot her head up. "Wait a minute! Where on earth are Nitro and Rowan?"

Marlene furrowed her brows. "What suddenly made you realize they were missing?"

The dark brown tabby shrugged. "I've personally always though Nitro a bit 'fruity' if you know what I mean." She explained adding air quotes around her words.

Clemson put his hands on his hips. "Well I think I know where they are!"

"Shut up Clemson." Lark snapped. "Does anybody know where they are?"

"I do!" Clemson stressed.

"shut UP Clemson!" The she-cat hissed.

Kowalski raised an eye-brow. "I believe they are somewhere on the second floor, possibly in hiding due to the mob we all formed to peruse them."

The cat got to her feet. "Right. Then let's find them shall we?"

Skipper scowled. "No."

Flare was suddenly behind him pushing him along gently. "Yes!" She urged as the Penguin leapt into the air.

"How in the name of Manfredi's purple backpack did you get behind me?" He demanded suspiciously.

The cat blinked her lamp like eyes. "I walked." She smiled, grabbing his flipper and dragging him along. "Come on Skipper!"

"Damn Hippies." He hissed.

MEANWHILE…

"Is it bigger than a shoe-box?"

"Yes."

"Does it make things hotter?"

"No."

Is it a juicer?"

"No."

"Blender?"

"Yeah! How'd you know?"

"It's a gift." Nitro laughed. "W- what are you doing?"

"My legs have pins and needles!" Rowan whined again.

"Well would you mind not doing some-sort of backwards press up with me?"

"But it hurts!"

"… Fine." Nitro grumbled.

"Aw, you know you love me!" Rowan purred still bending his legs. When he got no response he began to get a little worried. "Nitro? Are you alright?"

"I-I'm Fine!" He squeaked.

The Brown tom stopped moving and peered worryingly into the darkness. "Is it the claustrophobia?"

"Uh… Yeah, Hey is it just me or is there no air left in here?" The grey tom gasped.

"No. It's fine… Keep calm and they'll find us, just don't freak out on me, 'kay?"

"Yeah. I won-"

The door was flung aside and Marlene was standing there looking down on them with relief on her face. "It's Ok guys! It's ok, they're in here!"

Lark popped up next, a smirk on her face. "Oh sorry, if we're interrupting something we'd be happy to-"

"AIR!" Rowan screamed, slithering out from under Nitro and sucking down oxygen like it was going out of style before running down the corridor screaming something along the lines of 'I can move again!'

Walking away from the Shocked tom under the shelf Lark happened to hear what Maurice and Private were saying.

"Yeah, Nitro's just coming out of the closet." Private told him causing her to stifle a chuckle behind her paw.

"Why was he in the closet in the first place?"

"It's because everyone was so judgemental!"

She started laughing, grinning crazily.

"Why did it take him so long to come out of the closet then?"

It was then she just cracked up, falling on the floor and clutching her sides as Hans started to walk past.

"What is so funny?" He asked.

The she-cat stopped laughing, gasping for breath, and managed to choke out, "Nitro's coming out of the closet." before falling back into hysterics.

He didn't get it.

MEANWHILE…

"Eh… What do you think Maurice puts in da smoothies?"

Mort blinked up at him. "Spit and Earwax!" He giggled.

Julian reared away. "Ergh! Mort do not be being so yuck! I am serious!"

The mouse lemur thought for a moment. "Mango!"

Julian snapped his fingers. "Yes!" He shouted fishing about in the fridge and tossing the fruit in. "Then we add uh… Papaya… Guava… What is dis?" He declared, holding up a small green oval shaped fruit with a weird almost crown like top.

Mort puzzled for a moment. "Is it… a Mango?"

Julian put a hand on his hip. "No mort it is not a mango! How could you be possibly thinking that dis is a mango?"

Rowan suddenly darted into the room, singing loudly and off key, pausing when he noticed the fruit Julian was holding. "Oooh! Feijoa!" He cheered snatching the green fruit. Swiftly he sliced it open and snagging a tea-spoon slumped down into a chair and pointed at the blender with it. "By the way, you need to cut the fruit up before you blend it." He noted quickly scooping out some of the feijoa and gulping it down.

"Why?" Julian Pouted. "Shouldn't da smoothie maker be doing dat?"

The tom rolled his eyes, dumping the fruit and plastic spoon in the bin on his way out. "Yeah, but what about the skin and seeds?" He pointed out.

The king hesitated before shoving a butter knife at Mort. "eh… you do it!"

MEANWHILE…

"Oh sweet lord!" Lark gasped staggering from the surprisingly purple room and tugging the gas mask off her head, heaving a couple of breaths as Flare patted her back lightly.

"There there… It's hard and it makes me want to RIP HIS EYES FROM THEIR SOCKETS AND RAM THEM DOWN HIS THROAT BEFORE RENDERING HIM LIMB FROM LIMB WITH A BUTTER KNIFE, SCOOPING OUT HIS INNARDS AND LEAVING THEM FOR THE CROWS!" She screamed, eyes growing wild with rage.

Barely pausing Lark yanked her head back and stuffed a couple of pills into her mouth, watching at the she-cats eyes dulled and went back to their usual dreamy state.

Private was watching them horrified and his team stood around him, almost mournfully. "What happened?"

The dark brown she-cat shrugged. "Flare needs pills every hour on the hour or she gets a tad violent. Pass us the bleach?"

Without question Rico up-chucked a container of bleach and handed it to the she-cat who only blinked in response. "Uh, right. Whatever. I need to get that horrific sight from my eyes." She muttered to herself as she took the lid off the bleach and dumped pretty much the whole thing into her eyes.

"Oh my-" Kowalski started only to be cut off by the screaming she-cat.

"OH SWEET MOTHER OF GOD THAT BURNS! AH! HOLY COW THAT HURTS, CALL AN AMBULENCE PLEASE!" She wailed, paws covering her eyes as she staggered around.

"Kowalski! Analysis. Rico! Medical attention stat!" Skipper demanded.

Lark chuckled as Rico slid up to her, raising en eye-brow and standing up straight. "You seriously thought I would pour bleach into my eyes? I mean I want to, but I'm not going to. Anyway!" She announced, stopping Kowalski's frantic explanation of what horrific damage the cat had just (not) caused her eyes and turned to private who now stood quivering. "What you are about to suffer through I wish upon no-one. Yet Ocean3209 has demanded it." The she-cat swallowed. "Go face you're fate soldier." She whimpered as he stepped towards the door Flare was manning.

"Rico, gimmie a hat." Lark whimpered, grabbing the top hat he produced and rested it on her head for a second before taking it off and clutching it to her chest. "I take my hat off to you!"

As Flare pulled the door aside Private chuckled slightly. "What's there to be afraid of? It's just Justin Beiber."

Rico, Lark, Skipper and Flare and recoiled in horror, gasping.

Kowalski blinked. "I fail to see the problem…"

Skipper turned on him. "Fail to see the problem! The problem is that deceptively womanly voice combined with those irritating pop tunes and mindless lyrics are creating a songs designed by the government to get trapped inside your mind turning you into a mindless puppet controlled to do whatever those songs tell you too!" He shouted.

Flare smiled dopily. "I just don't like him very much. I prefer more mellow music."

Rico shook his head. "Nuh-huh. Pu' wok!" He declared, preforming a skid on his knees across the floor. "Aaaaaaaah yeah!"

Lark shrugged. "I'm with Rico." She paused. "I think the only host that likes him is Rowan, and he doesn't like the music as much as the popularity of it. The wannabe." She frowned folding her arms across her chest.

The scientist nodded slightly. "I see… well I might as well do some research on this…" he murmured, already face first into his clip-board.

Private stepped into the room and smiled slightly, in his mind there were worse places to spend a day.

"The poor soul." Flare mumbled as she closed the door before turning back to the penguins as herding them back towards the main room where everyone was waiting anxiously to hear what the mysterious torture Private had been subjected too was.

Lark pulled out her cell, staring at the file of dares in front of her. She smirked happily as the phone was answered.

"Hiya Buck. Listen unless you want everyone to know about the whole 'red squirrel deal' that occurred in '09 you better listen well my friend…"

32 MINUTES LATER… well I think… It's just a guess really.

"SHUT UP CLEMSON!" Lark screeched, before turning back to face the stage where currently Buck Rockgut and Skipper… whatever his last name was, were preparing to dance the ballet.

Skipper glared. "This is horribly degrading."

Buck scowled. "You think it's any better for me cup-cake?" He demanded. "Do ya, do ya? Cause I'll tell you who does… THE RED SQUIRREL!"

"He's gone, give it up man!" Skipper announced, quickly glancing down at his fluorescent Tu-tu. "Does this make my but look big?" He questioned.

All armed with a scathing retort Buck opened his beak to reply when the music kicked in. Quickly the pair began to shuffle across the stage sending out limbs at random and waving their arms like bolts of electricity were being sent to them every five seconds.

Well… Skipper was.

Hans looked surprised. "Wow. If I didn't know any better I would say that Buck Rockgut actually did ballet." He muttered.

"Me too." Dr. Blowhole announced only to have the puffin practically jump out of his seat.

"When in the name of Copenhagen did you get here?" He asked, looking the dolphin up and down.

"About 20 minutes ago actually. Surprising is it?" He sniffed looking away.

"Well… yes." Hans decided finally.

Kowalski had sunk down in his seat and was staring up at the stage horrified. Rico looked over and promptly put his flipper over the taller penguins eyes.

The scientist exhaled. "Thank you Rico."

Lark leaned over from behind them a creepy smile on her face. "KIIIIIIIIICO!" She squealed.

Clemson was chuckling madly. "Isn't this-"

"SHUT UP CLEMSON!"

The red lemur glared at the dark brown she-cat and ground his teeth in frustration, hands clenching into fists.

Meanwhile backstage Nitro sighed and stared at the sound and lighting buttons, before looking over at his boysenberry pie.

Buttons. Pie. Buttons. Pie.

"I really shouldn't eat you." He mumbled to the pie.

With its golden flaky pastry top, all hot and steaming the pie seemed to be saying 'eat me! Eat me!'

The tom shook his head sharply. He really had been spending too much time around flare If his food was talking to him now. Inanimate objects like books or knives he could handle, But Sargent Yummiful? No way-

"Sargent Yummiful?" He shouted staring at the pie. "What am I on! That's it. I'm eating you before I get sent to therapy again." He decided, scooping up his fork and turning back to the pie only to find it gone. "What the?"

SPLURT! Or… SPLUNK… What sound does a pie make when it hits a penguin in the face? I really don't know but whatever.

Nitro fell to his knees and crawled out on stage. "Sargent Yummiful, WHY?" He screamed, crouching over Skipper where he was sprawled out on the ground after Buck had nailed him in the face with the tom cats pie.

Maurice looked rather shocked at he stared at the stage before leaning over towards Lark. "Is he talking about Skipper?"

She shook her head. "No. His food is becoming real to him again, talking, developing a personality… Time to send him to a therapist, or the version we can afford witch is Rowan wearing a fake beard suit and asking him constantly about his feelings until he snaps back to normal." She sighed. Standing up and waltzing over to the stage.

"He was too young." She mumbled to Nitro who was now sobbing over the loss of his pie before turning to Buck. "Leave." She hissed. "You've caused enough pain for one day."

Marlene looked a little shocked. "They are kidding us right?"

"I don't think so…" Maurice said doubtfully, sucking down a lumpy, skin and pit filled smoothie as Julian rubbed his shoulders. "That's it! I'm showing you how to make a proper Smoothie Julian!" Maurice Snapped as he fished a mango pit out of his glass

"OK!" Lark shouted, quickly handing skipper a handy towel so he could wipe the remains of Nitro's loved one from his face and addressed him in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear. "Skipper, who on your team, would you rather take on a date. Choose wisely!" She added.

Skipper rolled his eyes. "Um… Private I guess. He's the most feminine, although I don't understand why you asking me thi-"

"Congrats. You are now going on a date with Private. How do you feel?"

"Ripped off." Skipper sighed as he was hauled to his feet and yanked off stage, dragged down the dwarf door steps and into Rowan and Dr. Blowhole who were waiting at the bottom for him. Lark shot the pair a look.

"It's Private, get him, turn them human, let them run around a bit and turn them back later. Got it Pretty boy?"

Rowan lifted the shades he was wearing. "Don't bet on it princess." He scoffed.

Lark pointed at him, smiling prettily. "Bad boy routine?" She asked innocently. "Do It again and I'll rip out your jugular." She hissed, slamming the door again.

"Well well well Skipper!" Blowhole said slowly, pausing to laugh in that nasal way of his. "It looks like you'll be subjected to my-"

"Do a voice over and I swear to god I'll hurt you!" Rowan warned, pointing a paw in his direction.

"My Humanizer." Blowhole grumbled.

Skipper raised an eye-brow. "Really? That's the best name you could think off?"

"It sounds cooler with the voice over, just let me-"

"I mean it! I'll get you and it'll look like a bloody accident!" Rowan shouted, now wearing a cat in the hat style hat.

"Where did you get the hat?" skipper asked.

"Not Important" Rowan replied, taking the hat off and tossing it down the hallway where the sound of shattered glass erupted from shortly afterwards. "Now let's go get your lady love! Or should I say… Lord love…" He snickered.

Skipper glared. "Seriously! It's a dare! It means nothing!"

"Riiiiiiight." Blowhole snorted turning and speeding down the hall with the cat loping easily alongside on all fours and skipper belly sliding to keep up.

Arriving at the right door (after miss haps with weaponries, Flare and Larks bedroom, and a room full of vases they found the right room),Rowan flung it aside to find Private sitting in a bean-bag shaped like Justin Beibers face and reading his biography quite happily despite all the glaring posters of Justine Beaver covering the walls.

"You're going on a date with Skipper!" Rowan announced loudly, grabbing the smaller penguin by the flipper and dragging him from the room quickly, shutting the door quickly behind him to cut off the 43rd time Justin Beiber said never in his song never say never, witch kinda defeats the purpose of the song…

Blowhole snorted. "At least you weren't talking to a vase that time. "

Rowan pulled a face. "At least you weren't talking to a vase that time." He mocked, suddenly snapping back to normal. "It was a very nice vase than you very much and skipper would have been very lucky to take it on a date in my opinion." He snapped.

Private was looking very confused. "I'm sorry? What did I miss?"

The brown tom shrugged. "Not much. Skipper and Rockgut danced the Ballet, Buck killed Sargent Yummiful, the love of Nitro's life and now you and Skipper are going on a date! Exciting isn't it!"

"Uh, just wondering? Why am I dating Skipper?" Private asked as Rowan dragged him into a small room, Blowhole and Skipper following bickering.

"Because Skipper wants to date you." Rowan grinned, "Well out of you Rico and Kowalski anyway."

Blowhole suddenly took charge. "Right Pen-goo-ins, stand on the X and prepare for the-"

"Don't!" Rowan warned, pointing a long hooked claw in the evil genius's direction.

"Huamizers effect." He growled, glaring at the cat.

Quickly the pair lined up on the red X and Rowan spoke up. "Ok. After this you are going to be humans. Here's 75 bucks to go… do whatever it is you do on a date, but be back in this room in an hour and a half. Oh! And when you are human, I will lead you out of here, so just follow the most incredibly handsome thing in the room and you'll be good."

Skipper glared and the tom flipped down his shades. "Hit it Dr. B!" He shouted.

"Don't call me-" The evil scientist started but the end of his sentence dissolved into clicks and squeals to skipper and private as in half and instant they stood as humans.

Private looked at his hands and promptly snapped his fingers. "Wow! How easy would it have been to stop the red squirrel like this!" He laughed.

"Yeah. I guess it would have been." Skipper replied, carefully inspecting his new limbs as well. About half-way though the inspection a loud meow caught the two new human's attention.

"Oh Skippah, look at Rowan!" Private gasped, pointing down at the brownish-red cat that was now looking up at them with its head tilted to the side inquiringly, he looked so cute it was enough to make them forget that what he had just said was probably an insult.

And with that the cat left out the back door, went down a flight of stairs and out the large white door into some alley in down town new York.

"Thanks!" Private chirped as the cat turned and walked away again, leaving the former penguins alone.

"Well." Skipper said slowly. "What do we do now?"

Private hesitated before shrugging and slipping his hand in skippers. "In the movies they always hold hands." He commented, oh so very oblivious to Skippers awkwardness as they slowly walked from the alley into the hustle and bustle of beautiful New York City.

"OI, YOU CUT ME OFF!"

"WELL DON'T BE SUCH A LOUSY DRIVER!"

Eh… Maybe just New York City.

MEANWHILE…

"Who likes sport?" Fred asked in his usual dull voice.

"You." Kowalski frowned.

"Me what?"

"Like sport!"

"I like sport?"

"Ugh! No, DO you like sport!" He pressed.

"No, not really."

The tactician's eye twitched and he turned to Rico who gave him a look that said. 'what do you want me to do! I can't talk well enough.'

Taking a deep breath Kowalski turned back to the infuriating Squirrel. "Well what about music?"

"What about it?"

"Do you like it."

"Like what?"

"Music?"

"What music? I don't hear anything."

It was then Rico dove in between Fred and Kowalski, pushing on the angry genius's chest to avoid him possibly tearing out the squirrel's teeth and/or other vital parts to his survival.

"Wow, your friend is really aggressive. Perhaps you should get him some therapy for that." Fred noted. Dully.

"KICO KICO KIIIIIICOOOOO!" Lark Screeched, jumping up and down crazily.

"What does that even Mean?" Savio asked, causing Hans to just shrug.

"Ahem… Back to that previous Therapy comment, he can join Nitro then." Lark sighed, rubbing her temples as she attempted to get over her previous attack of fangirlishness. "Fred you can go now. I would say it's been a pleasure… but it hasn't. And I kind of want to eat you now."

Instantly everyone apart from Savio took a giant step backwards away from the She-cat.

"I have to say… I agree." Savio hissed slithering forward slightly only to be stopped by lark.

"Said I want too. Not that I'm going too." She pressed.

"Seriously that wa-"

"SHUT UP CLEMSON!" Lark Screeched angrily. "NO BODY CARES ABOUT YOU!"

Marlene stepped in; using her feminine voice of reason which Lark was apparently missing. "Hey! Hey, calm down… Clemson might have something really valuable to say, you don't know…"

Flare giggled from where she was on the floor, lying with her legs up against the wall and head on the floor. "Is Clemson your favourite lemur Marlene?"

The otter shook her head. "No! I mean, yeah he was cool at first but no, he's not."

The cat rolled onto her stomach, sliding away from the wall and looking up at the other girl innocently. "Then who is?" She asked.

Marlene paused. "Probably Maurice because he is the only slightly sane one." She decided finally.

"And favourite penguin?"

"Private." She said slowly. "Just because he isn't insane or paranoid unlike the other three. Have you noticed that?"

"Nope!" Flare giggled rolling onto her back again and humming tunelessly under her breath as the otter raised an eye-brow.

Kowalski sat up and moaned loudly. "You hear that Rico? Marlene is choosing Private over us as well!"

The psycho frowned and kicked at some imaginary target. "Aww man!"

"KICO!"

"WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?"

Suddenly Rowan appeared, blowhole driving along behind him. The reddish-brown tom was wearing a beret and had a vivid moustache drawn on.

"Where'd you get the hat?" Lark asked, having calmed down slightly from both her anger and inner fangirl breaking out. Let's call it Steve!

"Not important." Rowan replied, skidding on the floor until he was sitting next to Kowalski. "Now, you are feeling Sad, No? So, take your pain… the pain of your heart and turn it into music! Make art from your pain, make wonderful, wonderful art!" He cried in an awful French accent that made actual French people want to strangle him.

"I'll pass…?" Kowalski muttered, slightly confused.

"No. It's a dare. You have too." Nitro muttered from where he was curled up under a blanket.

Rowan dropped the False French act and turned to his friend. "Woah! Man, what happened to you?"

"He killed my pie…" Nitro wailed quietly, blinking his blood-shot eyes.

The tom dead-panned but pulled out and put on the fake beard anyway, also bringing out a clip-board. "So tell me how you feel."

"Angry and sad."

"Why."

"Because Buck Rockgut killed Sargent Yummiful and now I can never bring him back from the dead…"

"Why?"

"Because it's impossible."

"Why."

"Because it is."

"Why…"

Hans spoke up from the other side of the room. "That is the worst excuse for Therapy I have EVER heard!"

Kowalski waved a flipper. "Oh go jump in a hole. What's this about a dare?" He pressed, turning to Lark.

"You have to write and Sing a song all about your feelings for Rico." She smiled. "So get worki-"

She stopped speaking when she saw he was already doing that.

"Oh. Ok then." Steve suddenly took over. "KICO OH MY GOD IT'S KICO I AM GOING TO… RICO! FAVOURITE WEAPON!" She shouted loudly, over powering steve.

Savio looked like he was about to implode.

"Breathe!" Hans Urged. "Just breathe!"

The maniac paused before coughing up a Crowbar and swinging it while laughing psychotically. As he swung it over his head Nitro stole it and turned on Rowan who was backed into a corner with his paws up.

"YOU ARE THE WORST THERAPIST I HAVE EVER HAD!" He screamed, hefting the metal bar over his head and preparing to bring it down.

"IN ALL RESPECT I AM YOUR ONLY THERAPIST AND I'M TO PRETTY TO DIE!" He wailed.

DUN, DUN,

Next time on truth or dare EXTRAVAGANZA!

"OW! STOP HITTING ME WITH FISH HANS!"

"I am not going on a date with skipper. I am sorry. I won't do it."

"Aw… Skipper… I really think I love you!"

"We got stopped at Airport security because SOMEONE had to tackle a security guy!"

"I think it would be better if we just stayed friends…"

"And we go from Helpful to psychotic in under 3.5, magic…"

So…. Yeah.

WHO DOSEN'T WANT TO SEE HANS HITTING SOMEONE WITH A FISH XD
And I know I failed in using all of the dares sent in… But! To Crazy Flyer 3000, Crazy-pairing-Girl, Toon92, TheSkySpiritsTalentShow and Ocean3290 I swear on my… GREAT GRANDMA'S GRAVE I will use all your dares! All Of 'em.

So anyway… Review! Because every time you do, you save an orphans life! Well no. Not really, but you can think that if it will make you review!

I mean no offence to People who like Justin Beiber or French people, your still kool kats! B)