chapter 2 at last, mon Amis! Finally getting to all the Jehan/Courf stuff, and why NOTHING WILL EVER WORK OUT WITH E AND R BECAUSE LOVE DECAGON I CAN'T EVEN

anyway, enjoy the gay French boys

Everyone knows that Grantaire is crazy in love with Enjolras. And Eponine likes Marius. Those are particularly well-known facts within the Amis, except to Enjolras and Marius, of course. Eponine has a sort-of-boyfriend, though, who asked her out a bunch of times, but she always turned him down because first of all, he was a terrible person, and second of all, the last time they went out, he tried to take her shirt off and hit her. Nobody was surprised when Grantaire came to the next meeting with a smug look on his face and Montparnasse went back to sulking, with a broken nose, in the corner. Again.

Montparnasse already hates Grantaire because he moved in with Eponine five months ago, and seems to think they're a couple, and if by some miracle Enjolras even cares, it sure looks that way to everyone, except maybe everybody who isn't Enjolras and Montparnasse. If Grantaire starts going out with Enj Montparnasse will suspect him of cheating on Eponine (even though they aren't going out) and beat him into dust. Then Jehan will flip out because he's basically everybody's guidance counselor and feels guilty for everything (at this point in the conversation, he apologizes for it excessively) and Courfeyrac would get worried and think it was his fault, which would make Combeferre worried too, and then Enjolras would be really confused and probably blame Grantaire for everything which would only make it worse because now Jehan thinks it's his fault again, and Cosette will go into all-out drama mode, and then Marius will go to Eponine for help and when she helps he'll just make her feel like shit again, and that's why you should get over him and look for somebody outside the group.

Grantaire fell over, laughing hysterically. On top of Jehan. On the living room floor. Again.

Jehan was giggling too, until Grantaire's weight decided it wasn't allowed, and he couldn't breathe. "'Taire... Air." he whispered, gasping overdramtically. "Sorry, sorry!" Grantaire rolled off of him and onto his back on the floor. He couldn't help himself, the floor was just so soft. And the carpet was pink.

"And I think you forgot a bit." he said very matter-of-factly, but Eponine couldn't take him seriously lying on the floor, his ebony hair falling down to his eyes. "What did I forget?" she said in an exasperated tone, knowing the melodrama that would ensue, because it was probably about Jehan, and he was sensitive about that stuff.

"You forgot the part where Courfeyrac is madly in love with Jehan and wants to carry him off into the sunset on his majestic steed." how would she know?

"in my dreams, Grantaire. Don't mock me!" Jehan's timid voice came from the corner where he had curled up into a ball with his knees to his chest. Grantaire knew that Jehan was one of them, too. Those people who were hopelessly in love. That was why they all connected so well. They could talk about it, they could tell each other and they could break down and none of them would care. They wouldn't just forget it in the morning.

Suddenly gentle, Grantaire crawled over to him and hugged him gently. By the look on his face Eponine could tell Jehan was miserable. He had a serious case of writer's block, and his trouble with Courf really wasn't doing much to help, ironically. Pain is a good motivator for writing, as they say.

"you know he really does love you, right? Why don't you just tell him?" Jehan started to speak, but realizing what he had said, 'taire cut him off. "wait, now I know that shit, it's the 'were friends and he won't like me anymore' story. Listen, If anyone would do that it's Enjy. He would hate me. Courf is a great friend, and he really loves you too." Jehan laughed a little and hugged Grantaire back. Eponine appeared next to them with Jaffa cakes and café mochas.

They spent the next five hours watching Doctor Who and talking about various topics, anywhere from poetry to getting upset about nobody knowing who Paul McCartney was, to why doesn't anybody love us.

"dammit, why can't I just be in love with you, 'taire?" Eponine joked, flopping down on the couch next to him. "hey, no fair! He's mine!" Jehan called from his beanbag , stretching his neck into a rather uncomfortable position. "we should write a song about this," said Ponine. "let's call it 'Scenes from Eponine's living Room.'"

"no way. Billy Joel is a saint. We can't do him justice." Jehan added in. "pleeeeaaaaasssseeeee?" Grantaire begged. "itll be fun!" Eponine pitched in. "fine," Jehan said. "but Grantaire is singing."

What happened next is confidential, as were all meetings of the "People we Like don't know we Exist" club, but there was a lot of caffeine, crying, and laughing. Again.

The next morning Eponine woke up on the floor covered in flowers. R was wide awake making coffee, and Jehan was still asleep on the overly-soft couch he had claimed as his own. 'Ponine shook petals out of her hair and sighed. Yet another mystery that would never be solved. Honestly, these things happened all the time.

But for 3 friends who were all emotionally unstable, there was no better thing to laugh at. Stretching her arms, she yawned and her whole body shook. Her legs were stiff from curling up on the floor, and her neck wouldn't turn to the left without a sharp pain that made her wince. Her back was aching, and as R handed her a green polka dot mug, her favorite, she was silently thankful.

Jehan woke soon after, and went off to work at the cafe, being the only one with a job. Eponine got money from her wealthy sister Azelma, who got adopted by a rich couple, while she got kicked onto the streets. Azelma sent her loads of money these days, as she'd become a classy lawyer in Washington.

Grantaire left for the cafe to have a mid-morning drink, leaving Eponine alone with a sore neck and an empty mug. worth it, She thought.

As per usual, Enjolras was there before Grantaire, already riling up the students who were insane enough to listen at that hour. he shouted something about gay rights, and paid no attention when R sat down in his usual corner with a bottle in his hand.

As Enjolras spoke, it wasn't the boring drone of a middle-aged politician, nor was it wise, but it was almost as if he had become the words. His eyes burned with the sort of passion that R had never felt, except maybe for him. This was why he loved Enjolras. He loved to see him believe in something. If something made him happy, then it made R happy too. It wasn't the kind of love that wants somebody all to themself.

Grantaire would have done anything to make Enjolras happy- even if he could never see him again.

The part that killed him was that he knew Enjolras knew. It was clear how he felt, and he's have to be 5 years old not to see it. With his focus on the cause, Enjolras just seemed to ignore everything else. It hurt just to know that not only had he been turned down, but Enjolras acted like nothing happened.

But he couldn't be blamed. After all, it wasn't like Enjolras to know when something was wrong. The only time he would notice was when R broke down crying.

So R just sat and listened and the words almost made him feel something. Then it died out and he took a drink.

Enjolras climbed down off the table, and proceeded to sit down across from Grantaire, looking somewhat nervous. He couldn't have explained it if he tried, it was just a feeling of tension between them.

I should talk to him about the other night... Enjolras stopped himself. The last time he tried to talk to R about that kind of thing, he got the silent treatment for 2 weeks until he broke down and apologized. No, I really shouldn't. It was a bit uncomfortable to just sit there, though, so he tried to make small talk.

Keyword: tried.

The more he pressed, the farther R just receded into his own thoughts. After trying everything- the weather, the cause, Joly's latest imaginary disease- even just little things- R seemed to end the conversation as fast as possible.

"Who's paying you to talk to me?" Enjolras was startled- for one thing, it was the most he'd said all day. Second, he was shocked that R could think like that.

"I'm serious, why are you trying to talk to me?"

"what, do you not want me to talk to you?"

"Well, excuse me, but had you simply forgotten to think of me at all for 2 days?!" Grantaire was angry- screw angry, he was- there really were no words. He was hurt and angry and hopeless and he just couldn't be there.

He stood up to leave. And this time, Enjolras let him leave. But Grantaire stood in the doorway. "2 days ago you would have followed me." He said bitterly.

"I should let you leave." Enjolras spoke softer now, a little ashamed without knowing why. He stepped softly over to where R was still waiting. "You shouldnt have to be around me." With that he turned and walked out the door himself, not even sure where he was going.

R didn't deserve to have such a terrible friend as him. Enjolras was just not friend material. He always missed the right moments and when R needed someone Enjolras just kept talking loudly about something R didn't even believe in. He made himself sick. What kind of person was he if he couldn't help his own friends? When R had broken down, what had he done but break down himself. To see him in that state- it scared him more than anything. R had a history.

So he was shocked when Grantaire ran up beside him and grabbed his arm like Enjolras had 2 nights ago. Enjolras froze.

"What do you mean?" Grantaire's voice was soft, a if speaking any louder would break him. "Do-do you not want me around, or... or should i just not talk to you, I- I don't understand." There was no shock in his voice. He'd been expecting, waiting for the day when enjolras would tell him outright to leave.

Grantaire dropped his arm, staring into the revolutionary's eyes, then looking down, defeated. "What did I do wrong?"

Before he knew it, Enjolras pulled Grantaire into an embrace. "Nothing. Nothing."

As Enjolras pulled back he continued. "I suck at... whatever this is supposed to be. I don't deserve someone as good as you. You're... You've always been there and I'm so sorry I can't be there for you like you are for me and I know I'm selfish because I want you to stay but-" he stopped talking. Sighing, he walked away, leaving Grantaire behind.

Grantaire stood in shock where Enjolras had left him, then, realizing what had happened, sprinted towards him, but it was useless. Enjolras kept walking. "Enj, come back! Enjolras!" He shouted after him, but to no avail.

So he stood there, not knowing how to feel.

Courfeyrac wandered into the bakery that afternoon, knowing Jehan would be on his shift. He was careful not to make it clear that he had memorized when his shift was every day, because that would be really creepy. As he opened the door, the little bell on the handle jingled cheerily. He hated that bell so much.

Jehan was, as always, behind the counter, always ready to sell the overly-sugared sweets that stood in dainty glass dishes and under the counter. He smiled when he saw Courf had arrived at his usual time, having waited for his entire day to see him. both had packed schedules, with Courfeyrac always out somewhere, and Jehan devoting time to staying in, so they saw each other far less often than both would have liked.

But to Jehan it was clear that there wouldn't be a special time just for him. Because no matter how much he loved Courfeyrac, Jehan couldn't make himself good enough. Despite all the flirting, he just couldn't be the same as all the girls (and guys) Courf went out with at any given time. He just wasn't special.

And goddammit Courf loved that boy. Even though Jehan refused to believe it, Hell, there was no explaining how he felt except for that word, and he was determined to convince him. Maybe sleeping with a load of other guys wasn't the best way to go about it. He knew he wasn't good enough to be with Jehan, but he couldn't deny it.

You are madly in love with Jean Prouvaire and you're going to deal with it. He thought to himself. "So, I was actually going to stay in tonight, but maybe we could... grab a coffee?" He paused, waiting for a response. Jehan smiled brightly.

"Sure!"

but for now, these short visits were all they had, and they made small talk until Courf had to leave and something was burning, and both of them secretly waited for the next time.

It would be a longer story, but there was no other way to say it. They were in love, but neither of them believed that they could possibly be special like that. They tried. They really tried.