A KID'S MYTHBUSTERS

Jimmy Neutron Returns to Television

By Snazzo

Chapter Two:

Unlike the Real Mythbusters, Libby didn't want to be just a faceless voice. So she was given a microphone, and she picked out a nice but functional purple outfit. "Hello, and welcome to Kid's Mythbusters!" Libby said with a big smile. "This episode on Kid's Mythbusters: Does a falling cat always land on it's feet? Are Twinkies really indestructible? And if so, are they digestible or even nutritious? If you build an atomic bomb out of Lego Bricks, will its core go critical resulting in an atomic blast? What DOES happen when your turn your headlights on at the speed of light? And last of all, can a Diet Coke and Mentos propelled rocket really reach the moon?" The camera pulled back to reveal the gang, all smiling for the camera. Jimmy wore his best lab coat. Cindy wore shorts and a green blouse. Sheen looked like he always looked, in an Ultralord shirt and jeans, but he was now also wearing a huge tool belt. Carl wore a black jumpsuit that looked a little like the black he work in Jimmy's movie, "A Smidgen of Darkness."

Libby continued. "Just who are the Mythbusters? Meet Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius." Jimmy waved at the camera then some video rolled of some of Jimmy's adventures. "Jimmy has eleven years of genius experience, whether it be time travel, space travel, or being a big pain in the butt!"

"Libby!" Jimmy griped from off camera.

"Sorry Jimmy!" Libby said, "It's all part of my witty banter. Sheen Estevez, who's totally cute in a nerdy sort of way, has two more years of experience, being thirteen, because he was held back a few years in school."

"Libby!" Sheen griped from off camera. "Tell the world why don't you? You're doing your Gossip Girl all over again!"

"But those two year were well spent," Libby continued, "Sheen is very good with his hands. And I should know."

"Libby!" Cindy griped from off camera. "We don't want to hear those details! Besides, you're only twelve years old!"

"Cindy Vortex," Libby continued, "The second smartest kid in Retroville! Beautiful, young, talented, way more creative than Jimmy is!"

Although the audience couldn't see Cindy, for more video was showing, they could hear her blush. "Libby, you're too kind."

"I'm Libby Folfax, you're totally cool host."

"Aw, Libby," Carl sighed, "You forgot about me!"

"Oh no I didn't, Carl. We saved the best to last. A man whose courage is as big as his heart, Carl Wheezer our Crash Test Dummy!"

"Thanks, Libby. But remember, I'm not courageous."

"Carl, in all the years you've been experimented on in weird machines, you may have been uneasy, or frightened, but you went through with it," Libby said. "That's courage!"

"Thank Libby," Carl said, "But they never show the part where I'm clawing at the machine and screaming like a cheerleader."

"Anyway…" Libby said. "What's first Jimmy?"

The gang gathered around a cluttered table. "I was thinking we'd do the Falling Cat myth first," Jimmy said. "We'll save the cool explosions until the end. Everyone loves cool explosions."

"I know I do!" Sheen agreed. "The World's Coolest Explosions on FOX is my favorite show!"

"No it's not, Sheen," Libby said gently, "Ultralord is."

Sheen hesitated. "Oh yeah! Almost forgot!"

"So we've all heard that whenever a cat falls, it will land on its feet," Cindy said. "But that doesn't seem to make a great deal of sense to me. A cat's weight, mass, and center of gravity are in it's body --"

"Cindy!" Jimmy complained. "Who's the genius here?"

"We're co-anchors Jimmy," Cindy replied. "You can do the next myth. Anyway, it would seem a cat would be more likely to land on its back or its head."

"Or i'ts tookus!" Carl said. "Whenever I fall it's usually on my tookus. Thankfully I have a lot of padding back there."

"Carl! Too much information!" Sheen said. "Besides, I didn't think Crash Test Dummies could talk."

"I'm a Crash Test Dummy who can act, Sheen," Carl said. "Don't you remember? Before this I almost got the part in Spunky Boy!"

"Don't remind me," Cindy grumbled.

"Guys, this myth seems lame," Sheen said. "How are we going to test it? Unless…" And then Sheen's eyes sparkled "UNLESS we get together a bunch of cats, go up on top of a skyscraper and hurl them off the roof!"

"Sheen!" Libby was shocked. "That's cruel and inhumane!"

"But it would make good television," Sheen argued.

"I agree with Sheen's idea," Jimmy said.

"What?!" Cindy gasped. "Neutron, you're a silly nerd sometimes, but I've never known you to be intentionally cruel!"

"Cindy, it IS a good idea. But we'll have to adapt it. I propose we all make synthetic robocats, then toss them off the roof and see what happens to them."

"Hm," Cindy nodded. "That is a descent idea Neutron. We'd all get to make something."

"Oo! Oo! Jimmy!" Carl said. "Even though I'm only a Dummy, can I make a cat too?"

"Of course, Carl old pal," Jimmy said.

"Great!" Libby said. "Now let's have the sped up video of all us hard at work!"

"Yeah!" Sheen said. "But let's do it to that Benny Hill Music. Everything is funnier when sped up with Benny Hill Music!"

A short silly video sequence followed. After that came a commercial for Purple Flurp, the Flurp that Refreshes. Then a Public Service Announcement:

"Hi!" Jimmy said, with Cindy and Sheen standing next to him. "This is just a message to our fans. Never EVER attempt to do what you see us do on television. We've had years of practice. We're what you call professionals."

"And on top of that, we're cartoons!" Sheen added.

Cindy looked at him, with an exasperated look on her face.

Sheen hung his head. "I don't know why I said that."

"We're back!" Libby announced. "And let's see what we have here. I'll start with … Me!" Libby held up a small Hello Kitten doll, dressed as a rock star with star shaped sunglasses, a rhinestone jacket, and a microphone in one paw. "This is Misses Biggles, one of my Hello Kittens I collected when I was a kid. I think it will do well for the experiment. True, I didn't really MAKE her, but I did do the fashion and accessories! Cindy?"

"I've made a proper ten pound cat out of schnitzengruber," Cindy said, holding up her cat. "It may smell a bit, but schnitzengruber has the same density as muscle – it should fall and land realistically. And to make it look a little bit cute, I've put a bow on it and given it Great Big Eyes. I'll call her Schnitzen for short."

"Sheen?" Libby asked.

Sheen put his hands into his utility belt. "Well, being an old pro at woodworking, I went and worked on some wood."

"How much wood would a woodworker work if a woodworker could work wood?" Carl suddenly sang. Everyone looked at him. "Sorry," he said, and blushed.

"I present to you, the Catomatic 75,000,000!" Sheen exclaimed and held up a very crudely carved chunk of wood.

"That's a cat?" Libby asked. "It looks a little like an ostrich!"

"No," Cindy said, "I think a rhinocerous. It's got that horn there."

"That's not a horn," Sheen complained, "That's a whisker!"

"I think it looks like a -" Carl began.

"You better not say llama Carl!" Sheen said.

Carl looked offended. "I wasn't going to say llama. I was going to say a baby five tentacle octopus. With a little hat."

Sheen turned to Jimmy with his creation. "Well, what do YOU have to say Fellow Mythbuster?"

Jimmy replied "Sheen, I value our friendship too much to give you an honest answer. If you say it's a cat, it's a cat. Me, I present to you, my pet Goddard!"

Goddard trotted onto the set and barked.

"Jimmy!" Libby said. "Goddard is a dog! The myth doesn't say anything about how dogs land."

"Ah, but Libby!" Jimmy held up a finger. "Goddard can do eleven million and four things! And this is one of them. Goddard! Feline Disguise Number Seven!"

Goddard hung his head.

"Aw, come on Goddard. Cats aren't so bad."

Goddard whined.

"Goddard!" Jimmy said. "We discussed this already! Remember, I was going to give you a whole pound of recycled zirconium!"

Although Goddard didn't have shoulders to speak of, they seemed to sag. He suddenly bent and wiggled all over, looking like a small Transformer, and when he was done a robotic cat stood there, with it's tongue hanging out. "Meow!" Goddard said.

"Good boy," Jimmy smiled, patting Goddard on the head.

"How about you Carl?" Libby asked.

"Well, this is my first time as a Crash Test Dummy, so I really want to show you my stuff." Carl turned away from the camera and when he turned back he had a black nose on his face, with whiskers, and cat ears on top of his head. "I offer myself as a test cat."

"But Carl!" Cindy gasped. "We might be dropping you from several stories up!"

Carl gritted his teeth. "Libby said I was courageous and I'll be courageous!"

"Now it's off to find a suitable skyscraper!" Libby said. "Right after this commercial break!"