This is the third time this week and it's been going on for a month. Willow has woken up in a sweat, confused and crying. She won't tell me why, but I can figure it out. I love her so much and she still dreams about Tara.
She woke up again this morning, crying for Tara and when I tried to calm her, she didn't want to touch me.
How could I ever measure up to Tara? Willow obviously still loves her. Look at what happened when she turned into Warren. By kissing me, she blamed herself for Tara's death. I think she secretly blames me, although she'd never say it.
It kills me that she can look at me with love and touch me with such heated passion, yet her heart is crying out for another woman.
When we saved the world from the First and Sunnydale was destroyed, I thought we'd left the past behind us to have a new start. But now I can see I was sorely mistaken. Tara is still with Willow and I see now that it'll never change. I'll always be second in Willow's heart, but she'll always be first in mine. Always and forever.