(AN: So thank you for the review (you know who you are), and enjoy chapter two: Spring,
Spring
It almost is like she melts away with the snow, she starts to fade into the backround, the only time she is heard is during a differential, when she over hears a conversation between him and his mother about his childhood she doesn't ask question, only looks at him for a few seconds, her eyes viod of emotion, not the storm of sympathy and sadness that he expected to see when she would find out, her eyes showed what he wanted, numbness, but it didn't suit Allison Cameron.
The spring has a slow start, the snow insists to stay, and he almost believes that they will live with snow forever this time, this time it's not going away.
It's scary to look at her now, she is not herself, she is a diffrent person, he wonders what has happened, it has to be something bad, people just don't change like that, they can't change that fast, it's not possible, he tells himself that she is acting, she is acting so good that she herself believes it. Ignorance is a bliss.
He finds her one day drawing blood from herself, he steps up to her, knowing that it can be rather difficult at times. She looks at him wordlessly, feeling her tense up at his touch, he tried to make it as quick as possible, and not drag out on it just to feel her under his fingers just a while longer. That's when he notices a scar on her vrist, he never noticed before because she always wears longsleaved sweaters, and he can't resist to touch it, she snatches her arm to her, and rubs her vrist as if he burned her. He pulled it back to him, and looked at it, it was a straight line, and then looked at her.
"If you wanted to kill yourself you should've cut a deeper and longer cut" then he lets go of it, and she pulls it towards her, and looks at him with tears in her eyes. She doesn't say anything, and that scares him that she doesn't defend herself, that she probably had tried to kill herself, or that she had cut herself to kill herself, but stopped in the last minute. She leaves him wordlessly.
He pulled into his parking space one day- handicap of course- just by the last pile of snow around PPTH, and see's her sitting on the same bench as she had done just a few weeks ago, it's strange how fast the snow can melt. She is crying, he can see that from where he is sitting in his car, she's on the phone with someone, and all she seemes to do is shake her head, she doesn't move her lips to say anything. He steps out of the car to walk up to her, she doesn't notice him.
"I don't know what to do mom" she says suddenly, and he decides to listen in on the conversation, the only thing she's ever hear of her familly is that she isn't an only child, she had an older brother and that she has a pair of earings that belongs to her mother. "Everything I solution seemes to be wrong" she suddenly says, and he finds himself relieved that there is some emotion left in her. "You know why mom!" she is suddenly agitated. "Oh god" she says, and stands up, he is surprised, and thinks she has seen him, but she bends over a trashcan and trows up, when she is done she cries a bit more, and takes the phone to her ear as she drinks some water, and then spits it out in the trashcan before drinking again. "I'm sorry, I just had to trow up..." her voice is tired suddenly, dragged out.
The phone call ends not so long after, and she stands up on shaking legs, and walkes inside the hospital, the last words to her mother was "I've made up my mind, and I'm not going to change it for your sake" he wonders what she what she was talking about.
She takes a day off three days later, and when she comes back she stops trowing up, it was good because he started to get worried.
She looks tired, it almost reminds him of the time she was coming down from taking meth, but this time there is no HIV scare, no drugs and no sleeping with Chase, because Chase doesn't look like he scored a night with her, they probably never will after they broke their arrengement up 6 months ago.
She stops wearing make up and new clothes, her hair isn't always smelling flowers and vanilla anymore, and she only smelles deodorant and not her citrus parfume. He wonderes what is going on, why she is so quiet and why she is changing this way. He confronts her about this, but she only glares at him, her eyes are empty, and it was the first time he see's them for days because she has been hiding them under her bangs.