The kiss was quick and intense, and amazing. He pulled away and looked and me, nervously. My smile might of hinted the fact that I was 110% happy right now.
"So..." I didn't really know what to say. But then I remembered he was leaving in the morning to continue touring, and my heart dropped so much, my feet were heavier. He saw my sunk expression.
"This sounds completely insane Kaya, but, come on tour with us?" he looked straight at me.
"Seriously? I, I don't know. I mean summer break is only for 9 weeks-" I started
"Tour ends in 6 weeks" he finished off for me.
My smile got bigger and bigger as I realised the chance me actually going with them. I thought how rash it seemed, but I couldn't help but think about how happy it would make me, and sometimes it's good to think about yourself.
"Give me, 10 minutes ok? I need to talk to a few people" I said getting ready to leave.
"Ok, meet me back at the bus?" he said as a ran away.
"Yep!" I yelled, still running.
I sprinted to Anarbor's bus and was a tad out of breath as I crashed into Slade.
"Ouch! Jesus Kaya!" Slade remarked a bit surprised.
"Shove it lovely! I'm in love. I need to talk to Cass!" I said as I tried to squeeze pass him.
He started laughing. "Oh Kaya, she's on the couch." he said, still laughing.
I jokingly punched him in the shoulder as I ran and practically jumped on Cassie's lap. I scared the crap out of my half asleep best friend.
"WOAH. Kaya? What's up you look, ridiculously happy right now. What the hell did I miss?" she exclaimed, sitting up excitedly.
"I'm in love with Alex." I spat at her.
"Gaskarth?" she squealed a bit.
"Yes. He asked me to come on the rest of the tour with them. I'm so excited it's ridiculous. Like, redonk." I couldn't stop smiling.
"Oh my God! That's awesome! Does this mean I can go on tour with Slade, and not feel like a total bitch for leaving you behind?" she looked excited.
"Hells Yeah!" I said as we hi-fived each other.
Slade walked back in the bus, confused by our over excitement.
"Slade, I'm taking the spare bunk!" Cass ran and kissed him mid sentenced.
"Yay!" He looked like such a kid. "And Kaya," he continued "let me guess. You're going on tour with Alex?"
"How'd you know?" I asked, a bit confused.
"Well, if you had just seen him, he looks like a little kid at christmas with a smile bigger then the fucking tires!" he laughed as he saw my face blush and my smile somehow widen further.
"Ok, I'm going now, to the bus, and I love you both, and I'll see you in like 2 weeks right? Somewhere on tour?" I already started walking out.
"Yes yes, we will see you soon. Oh hang on Kaya," Cass said going to her bag. She pulled out a bundle of folded clothes, a jumper and a pair of flip flops. She handed them to me. "You know I'm prepared for everything" she said followed by an exaggerated wink.
"It's why I love you!" I gave her a sloppy wet kiss on the cheek before running out of the bus. Last thing I heard was Cass and Slade yelling out "Have fun!" As I ran across towards my temporary 6 week home. I stopped mid way and pulled out my phone. I dialed mum's number.
"Mum, you know how you met Dad over seas, and traveled with him for like 3 months, then you guys got married and it was all really sudden? Well I've met someone and... they want me to come on tour with them for 6 weeks. I'll be back by the time school starts. Please, please, please, please?"
I slammed the phone down with a scream of joy after telling mum how much I loved her. Damn she could be awesome sometimes. She agreed, as long as I stay in touch, don't do anything stupid, and she likes the fact that Alex is still in his teens. I could not be any happier then now. I ran again, to All Time Low's bus and Alex jumped up from his seat on the bus stairs.
"Aaalleexxx!" I yelled excitedly as I approached him. "I can come!"
He gave me a big happy hug before putting me down again and smiled as he practically shoved me onto the bus. He took my huge armful of stuff and placed it nicely on the spare bit of the couch.
Jack, Rian and Zack came and all hi-fived me, grinning.
"Welcome aboard to the messiest piece of crap bus you'll ever see!" Rian said gesturing around the bus. Alex laughed and led me to the spare bunk. There was a pile of chocolates on the pillow and Alex said "Trust me, they're the best" before winking and walking off to get me some stuff I might need. I lay on my bunk, opposite Alex's and under Rian's. This was going to be one hell of a summer. My excitement got the best of me. I started falling asleep, and when I was just about to be out of it, I felt pressure on my bed as someone lay down beside me. Their body was warm and I felt at home as Alex kissed my head and snuggled in closer.

I lurched awake when my head hit the frame of my bunk. "Owww" I moaned as I opened my eyes.
"Please excuse Jack, he is a retarded driver." Alex whispered in my ear. I giggled and sat up. Alex continued. "Usually we don't let Jack drive, cause I mean, we don't wanna die."
I laughed then tried to cover it when I heard Jack yell "I can hear Alex you dick- shit! That came out of no where!"
"Jack, stop signs don't appear out of no where, and you're supposed to stop when you see one." Zack said laughing.
"Shut up Zachary!" Jack muttered.
I sat up in the bunk and Alex climbed over me to get out and stretch his arms and legs. We had been driving for about 4 and a half hours but I still felt excited. I looked at the window, and saw... well not much. A whole lot of nothing. I don't think anyone was really paying attention to where we were going except Jack and Zack who were up the front driving. Jack was concentrating very hard, it looked like it was painful for him.
About 20 minutes later after I had washed my face and had a bowl of some very childish cereal, which tasted amazing, Jack pulled over for a petrol and food stop. I went inside the petrol station and chose out a chocolate and a bottle of water and took it to the counter. When I looked up at the face serving me I saw surprised to see a young female face staring back. She glared at me. I handed her my money but she just kept staring.
"Um, is there something wrong? Or..." I didn't know what the hell was wrong with her but I had to ask.
"That you're band?" she said eyeing the bus parked outside.
"No, I'm just friends with them... Going on tour with them. I'm just helping out with merch and stuff." I smiled at her but her glare didn't brake. It was getting uncomfortable now.
"Fuckin' slut" she muttered, under her breath.
"Excuse me?" I was shocked that she just said that to me.
"You heard me. You're a whore, and you're sleeping you're way to fame." Her look was murderous as she said it.
"Jesus... As wrong as you are, mind you're own fucking business." I spat the words at her as I left without buying anything. I was almost at the door when I bumped into a rather large guy. I tried to walk past him, but he wouldn't let me through.
"Watch what you say bitch" he said leaning in.
"Just let me through, please" I was scared. This guy looked crazy. I looked outside but the guys were all facing away from me and too far away to hear what was going on. I started panicking.
"Look, I didn't mean to cause any trouble, sorry" I tried getting past again. In a quick swift motion, he shoved me into the shelf behind me. I screamed as I felt the corner of the shelf cut into by back.
"Alex!" I yelled, my voice cracking. The guy picked me up and dragged me outside. I struggled free and at the same time Alex appeared and threw himself at the guy. Rian and Zack were close behind too. I heard Alex cry out as he fell to the ground. I couldn't see his face. Zack picked me up and I saw Rian and Jack half carrying, half dragging Alex towards the bus. The crazy guy spat at us before storming inside. Zack put me down in the back and jumped in the drivers seat. Rian, Jack, and a sub-conscious Alex managed to get in the back and I scrambled over to make room on the seat. Zack was already driving away, fast, and were out of site of that petrol station. The shock set in and I stared to cry. Alex was now fully conscious and Jack got him some ice from the freezer in a towel for where he was whacked in the head.. Rian turned to me. "You ok?" he asked gently.
I couldn't answer. I was shaken and the pain in back was silencing me.
"Kaya!" Alex yelled, pointing at me. He scrambled over and pulled me away from the seat. There was blood everywhere. Alex pulled me into a hug. As I sobbed on his shoulder I let him pull my shirt mostly off.
"Jesus fucking christ" he stated, and he lay me down on my stomach so he could get to the gash on my back. Him and Jack patched me up with what they could find. Some antiseptic, and white patch thing that they taped over the wound after they had wiped the blood up with someone's T-shirt. By now I had calmed down. I sat up, wincing a bit. The cut was on my shoulder bone, and it really ached. "Thanks guys. I'm so sorry, I don' even know what happened back there. The girl just said-"
Rian cut me off. "Don't worry about it. That guy was a FREAK." We laughed a bit. Then they all, except Zack cause he was driving, looked at me awkwardly. Fuck, I still had no shirt on. I went bright red. Alex gave me one of his button up shirts to cover it up with. I sighed at my blood stained polaroid shit on the floor of the bus.
"Oh, this is yours too, I took it off when we were fixing your back" Alex said as he handed me my gold bird charm necklace.
That was the first time the necklace had ever been taken off me. He clipped it back around my neck, and smothered my neck in kisses.
I think I finally had a reason to hold onto this necklace. It was Alex.

Have you ever woken up and had a total spaz attack because you forgot where you were? Well I woke up screaming, and nearly made Zack crash the bus. I woke up Alex, Rian and Jack with my yelling and they all freaked out and thought there was a serial killer on the seats. Zack got a shock but he was laughing the whole time as he tried to find the lights, and stay in control of the van. I covered my mouth and stayed like that until the lights were on and everyone started cracking up. I was pretty embarrassed, cause that has never happened to me before. Everyone made a joke out of it. Everyone, except Alex. I turned to him next to me, and was surprised by the look on his face. He was totally zoned out, and his eyes were glistening.
"Alex?... Alex?" I said, almost yelling. He didn't snap out of it. Rian came over and shook Alex's shoulders, too harshly I thought, but he snapped out of his weird trance. I looked at him laughing but I stopped when I saw Rian and Jack's faces. They exchanged looks of caution. I looked back at Alex. He looked... sad.
A few hours later we arrived at the next venue for the tour. We had about 3 hours till we needed to do anything, so during those 3 hours Alex and I stayed in the back of the car while the guys went to the trailer to play video games and pay each other out. I started thinking about this relationship I had with Alex. It was so random, so sudden, and yet, I didn't doubt him one bit. I needed to talk to him. There was something he wasn't telling me, and whether he was going to or not, I needed to try.
I sat next to him in silence in the back seat. We were the only ones in the van. I was early in the morning and the light was pleasant and calm.
"Alex..." I said to him, gently.
He turned to face me. A single tear ran down his face and I wiped it away with my sleeve.
"Alex what's wrong? I know something is bothering you." I said it as softly as I could, without whispering.
"I just.." he started. "You just brought back a memory, that's all. I remember when I used to wake up screaming and... I don't know. It made me feel how I used to. Guilty." he looked at his hands as he told me.
I was really confused. But I saw the sadness in his eyes, and I don't think this was something he wanted to talk about. So I took both his hands, and locked his eyes with mine. Instead of searching his gaze, I leant in, and gave him my second kiss. I had still only kissed him once before, the night we had met. He kissed back, with more passion this time. His hands grabbed my face, and he pulled me onto him. I let myself in closer, and our bodies were awkwardly a-lined along the back seat and side door. I lifted my weight off him a bit so he could sit up without having things sticking into his back, like car door handles. His kiss grew extremely intense, and I let my hands run over his back, under his shirt, then around his chest. She shivered at my touch. His hands took hold of mine, and he pulled them out from under his shirt and held them. He pulled away for a moment, and whispered 'thank you' in my ear. I looked back at him. I saw that smile of his. Everything immediately felt better. With my hands still in his, he helped me out of the van. I was walking in front of him and he pulled me back into a tight embrace. We switched around so I was against the car, and we started kissing, again. He just couldn't help himself. Mind you, neither could I, and I was having inappropriate thoughts about him at that very moment. I almost laughed to myself. But I didn't thankfully, because I opened my eyes and saw Jack standing about 2 meters away, with an awkward look on his face.
I broke away from Alex, and swiveled him round.
"Ohhh. Hey Jack.." he said facing his best friend.
"Um, I was gonna get my jumper out of the car, but I got distracted my you two. For a minute I thought you were having sex against the van-"
"Jack!" Alex and I said simultaneously.
"Sorry, sorry, I love stirring people up, you know that" he laughed as he said that.
I laughed as Jack did a weird dance past us to get into the van. Alex and I walked towards where All Time Low were going to do sound checks and stuff.
"Hey, Kaya, I have a favour." Alex said, facing me.
"Yeah?" I replied, smiling sweetly.
"Can you be out merch chick?" he said putting on some weird accent which made me laugh.
"Hells yeah! I'm great at selling stuff." I said enthusiastically.
He took my hand, smiling and led me to where the merch booth was gonna be, and talked me through prices and set ups and stuff. Over the next few hours I helped set up the merch stall, and I even helped some other bands set up their stalls. I was pegging a lead to the ground, when a girls voice broke my concentration.
"Um, excuse me?" she said shyly, tapping my shoulder.
I left the peg, it was pissing me off anyways. "Yeah?" I said turning to face a girl., who looked about my age. Maybe a tad younger.
"You have blood all over your back" She stated, pointing.
"Fuck! I totally forgot about that. Shit shit shit." the blood from the slash on my back had leaked through the shirt I had on, the one of Alex's.
"Hang on.. Here." she said handing me a tea towel or something. She then helped me pull my shirt up a bit and take off the taped white thing that was covering it. It looked pretty gross, but this girl didn't flinch, and she just helped me clean it up a bit. She was well prepared, and even had another dressing thing to cover the cut. We were done in about 4 minutes.
"Thanks a bunch, sorry you had to see all that. What's your name?" I asked, still holding the slightly bloody towel.
"Ellie" she said smiling.
"How old are you Ellie?"
"15" she sighed.
"You here by yourself?" I asked her, looking around.
"Yeah, my mum finally let me come to warped tour, I have begged her for the last two years, and she finally said yes. I suppose she saw my dedication," she laughed. "I just wanted to see my favourite band. Oh and by the way, please don't tell on me, I'm not supposed to be around here yet, cause I'm not part of the crew for anyone, and I'm under 16" she said a little frantically. "I just really want to meet my favourite band. They are my heroes. Their music got me through some shit in my life."
I looked at her, before reassuring her that I wouldn't tell anyone.
"So.. who is this favourite band of yours?" I asked her.
"You probably haven't heard of them.. All Time Low?" she said looking up at me.
Like I didn't see that one coming. I was about to answer he when she suddenly went red, and turned away, muttering 'oh my god oh my god oh my god'. I looked behind me to where she had seen something and saw Alex and Zack walking past about 20 metres away.
"Holy crap that's them! What do I do? they might get pissed off at me from sneaking in... any suggestions?" she asked hurriedly.
"Yeah I can think of one... Hey Alex! Zack!" I yelled at them. They started walking over. Ellie's jaw dropped.
"Hey Kaya, what's up?" Alex asked.
"I think, you might have your biggest fan, right here." I smiled, pointing to Ellie, who looked like she was about to cry.
Alex and Zack exchanged looks of understanding, and smiled at each other before nearly suffocating an ecstatic Ellie in a Alex'n'Zack sandwich. I could hear her laughing as she was being hugged, and I mean, who wouldn't find that experience enjoyable?
They pulled away from a super happy Ellie, and we all talked for a few minutes about how Ellie managed to sneak in early. After I got a photo of the three of them, Alex and Zack said goodbye to their fan, so they could go start sound check. I went to the merch stall, and pulled out a medium All Time Low T-shirt to give to Ellie. She tried to give me money for it, but I had already paid for it through me. She kept her money, and slipped the shirt over her clothes and smiled at me. I had definitely made someone's dream come true. After she left to go line up, I smiled to myself. It felt good making someone else that happy. If only it was that easy to make anyone that happy. I sighed as I looked over at Alex, tuning his guitar. Behind his gorgeous smile, and positive expression, I could still sense that there was something deeper, something wrong, ripping at his heart.

It's been almost 2 weeks since I decided to go on tour with All Time Low. To my surprise, I wasn't home sick, (I missed my mum a bit) but I was so distracted cause I was having such a good time! I hadn't done anything completely stupid yet, although many people would think that running away with a stranger for over a month was a pretty dumb idea. But what I found, was that rather then our relationship growing, Alex and I had developed an extremely close knit friendship bond. Even though we slept in the same bunk most nights, it was just for comfort. We both were extremely fond of hugs. Nothing had really happened between us, and I'm not really sure how I felt about it, but Alex was such a good friend, having him around was enough for me. I think.

I was sitting on the couch with my phone in my lap, and hell, I was so tired I almost fell asleep sitting up. That was, until Zack came and sat on my lap. It was like someone gently placing a tonne of fucking gold on your lap. Damn, that boy was solid muscle. I swear, if you tried hard enough, you could grate cheese on his abs.

I had become close with all the boys, and I sort of became Zack, Rian and Jack's therapist. Even though I was younger, everyone always told me that I was wiser then most adults. I also formed to be their 'mum' which was, the most tiring job ever. If I hear a drunk Jack whine at me for food one more time... I'll probably just have to make him something, cause he has irresistible puppy dog eyes.
I didn't drink, so when ever a group of about 40 half naked randoms appear on the bus most night for a party, I'm in charge. I didn't really mind though, but I felt sometimes o was missing out on the fun.

Zack sat on my lap as if it was completely normal for me to not be breathing, looking through a mens health magazine. My slightly dying chokes were interrupted by my phone vibrating in my lap, right under Zack's ass. He didn't even notice. He must be bullet proof or something. However, things became awkward, cause after I stopped pretending I couldn't breathe I was trying to get my phone, and jack walked past just as my hand was basically feeling Zack up.

"HAHAHAHA" Jack started cracking up as he pulled out the damn buzznet phone. There is now a video of me on storage, supposedly feeling up the ass of a completely oblivious Zack. Awesome.

After giving Jack the finger, Zack finally moved and he started cracking up because he was totally aware of everything that had been going on. Little shit. He started tickling me, and I completely lost it. I was laughing so hard I was crying, plus I was screaming and hitting Zack at the same time. It got to the point where we were rolling around on the floor, and I was still laughing like a lunatic. Tickling was one of my biggest weaknesses. Especially my ribs. You had me under control if you tickled me there.

Zack finally gave me a breather, and stopped poking my ribs. I took a while to stop laughing, but I was enjoying myself. Then Alex walked in.
it wouldn't of been a problem, if Zack wasn't lying directly on top of me on the floor, and jack and Rian were no where in sight.

Alex just looked, hurt, and a bit awkward so he backed out of the bus.

"Shit" I muttered to myself as I scrambled off the floor. Zack helped me up and mouthed sorry at me. I smiled at him. He didn't do anything wrong.

I ran outside to catch up with Alex. I got to him and he turned around. I was relieved to see that he wasn't angry with me. I was surprised when he pulled me into a very, very intimate hug. He pulled me so close and we had our arms wrapped around each other for ages. But it felt right. He pulled away a little so his face was in line with mine, and he looked at me, with an unsure expression. He gave me a little kiss, as if he was asking me first. My answer was a bigger kiss. We stood there like idiots kissing for a while. There weren't really any people around so we didn't care.

"Kaya...I don't know if I've got you yet, but if I do, I don't want to lose you. It would just about kill me" Alex said staring deep into my eyes.

Something in his words scared me. I didn't know if my heart was strong enough for his.

In the middle of the night, I woke up to Alex gently prodding me. We were sharing my bunk as usual. Just for comfort. I hated being woken up.
"Nooo.. later.."
"Kaya, is it really hot in here?.. or is it just me." Alex said sounding groggy.
"Are you kidding? Its hell cold" I muttered with a little shiver.
I rolled over and put he back of my hand on Alex's forehead.
"Jesus boy! You are steaming. Are you feeling alright?"
"No not really" he muttered getting out of my bunk when I grabbed his hand. I led him to the mini bus kitchen and got a damp cloth for him. He held it to his head and let out a sigh of relief.
"I'll be fine lets just get some more sleep" he smiled at me.
We were asleep within the next 5 minutes.
The next morning however was not good. Alex had completely lost his singing voice, and they had a show to play tonight. One of his random band friends who was practising to be a doctor said he wont have his voice back in time for the show.
He moped around all morning, and by 12.30pm I was fed up.
"Fuck it, Alex lets do something. The guys are happy for a day off, so their chilling. Don't worry. But you're moping."
"I want to show you something" he said with what voice he had left.
He grabbed my hand and we climbed up into his bunk. He shut the curtain and I sat cross-legged against the wall. Alex pulled out a green crumpled hand made type book from down the side of his mattress. I watched him pull it out, and I saw him quickly shove another book that came out with the other one. It was black and silver and he quickly shoved it down the side of his mattress. I pretended not to see and he bought it. He handed me the green book, slightly grinning. I looked at the front and it said ALEX'S SONGS. It was so cute, clearly written by a younger Alex.
"Can I read it?"
He nodded blushing a bit.
I opened to a random page. Bad habit of mine, I never read anything straight from beginning to end.
I opened it to a page titled 'Therapy". I read through the lyrics.
"Alex this is amazing" I exclaimed opening to another page. I read and read. The book was packed. I sat there for about 2 and a half hours, just reading. I asked Alex about all of his songs, and I could tell which ones were written recently or ages ago. I noticed though when I wasn't talking, I'd look up at Alex and he was lost in thoughts. Something was troubling him. I kept reading, and glanced up to his face then back to the book. My eyes snapped back up when I saw him discreetly wipe silent tears from his eyes.
"Alex, baby, are you ok?" I questioned, gently. I moved closer to him. He just shook his head from side to side and let the tears fall freely. I hugged him and his tears stained my shoulder. He wasn't sobbing or anything though. The tears just flowed. He stopped after a few minutes, and after giving me a gentle kiss, he led me out of his bunk.
That night the guys wanted to go out. Alex was back to his normal self, for some reason and was full with energy. Him and Jack were throwing themselves at each other while the other guys tried to get them off the bus.
"There isn't really anywhere we can go is there?" Rian said, his arms full of Jack.
"I'm sure we will find somew- Jesus Alex how can you get you're leg that high you almost hit my face!" Zack exclaimed laughing at his hyperactive friends.
I let them get out of the bus first, I was scared for my health here.
20 minutes later, we were in someone's car, by the name of Martin Johnson or something. He must be a good friend to lend his car the these lunatics. We pulled up outside the liveliest club we could find on a Tuesday night.
To my surprise it was packed. Really packed. I grabbed Alex's hand at the line for the door as we gazed through at the people dancing inside.
"Wait, how are we even gonna get me in? I'm 17 remember." I asked gazing at the crowd.
Alex laughed and squeezed my hand. "Hang on I'm thinking. Or better yet, don't think just walk."

fail.

We got stopped straight away.
"Hey.. I recognise you.. You're the singer from All Time Low. I've seen you at Warped." The guy at the door had a friendly face.
"Oh hey, I'm Alex, and this is Kaya" Alex said shaking the guys hand.
"I'm Matt. I'm a guitar technician on call at tours and stuff, just in case." he said adding a laugh at the end.
Alex smiled at him."That's always handy."
Matt looked at me."Honey how old are you? Actually, don't tell me, just go have fun" he gave me a little shoulder pat and wink as he let us through.
"Thanks man" Alex said, giving him one of those knuckle punch things.

The club was so loud. We lost Jack straight away, then about 2 minutes later we lost Rian and Zack.
They were all off having a good time.

Into the night I was enjoying myself. I spent it with Alex dancing like an idiot with him, but having so much fun. He didn't look at the other girls as they danced around him for attention. His eyes stayed with me. That made me happy.

Well into the night, Zack came flying at us. He had pushed and shoved through the crowd to get to us. He was painting and had blood dripping from his nose.

"Fucking... Assholes-fighting..Jack... So many..." Zack tried to get out between breaths.
Alex and I bolted out with Zack following him out the door. There was a crowd yelling in a massive huddle. Alex pushed through. I squeezed in, and I did not like what I saw. An unconscious Jack amongst all the fighting, and Rian trying to fend them off. It took the three boys about 4 minutes to get the random drunks off Jack. The drunks said they didn't like how he was looking at 'their girls'.
As soon as they all pissed off Zack picked up Jack of the ground, and I followed, wiping the blood of Jacks face and torso.

Rian drove us all to the hospital. Alex and I sat it the back with Jack spread across our laps. Alex held my hand, his face stone cold and expressionless.

After what seemed, a long time Alex turned to me.
"Why is it, the people close to me always end up like this?" his voice was cold and sad.
"Alex, he's just hurt. He got into a fight. He's just being a boy. It's not going to kill him." I said to him.

"I've heard that before" Alex voice was barely audible.

And again, I see an icy tear roll down his cheek.