The following is one of the most popular fairytales in the Mackey culture. Some Mackey storytellers change the story so it's two Mackeys and not a Mackey and a Cartman. Some Mackey storytellers even change the ending to one less sad.
Every part of this story is fictional, including the Great Mackey-Cartman war described in the beginning. Mackeys and Cartmen have never had a true war. Mostly, Cartmen attack the Mackeys until they get bored or hungry, to which they then go back into hiding. Of course, some Mackeys argue that the whole coexistence of Mackeys and Cartmen has been a war of sorts.
This story is extremely controversial to Mackeys, and it is not recommended reading if you are easily offended.
There is a glossary at the end for anything that needs explaining.
THE MACKEY AND THE CARTMAN: A LOVE STORY
The year was 2636. It was the middle of the Great Mackey-Cartman war. The war had been going on for hundreds of years, and both sides hated each other. Every day, the Cartmen came and taunted the Mackeys endlessly, and went so far as to leave giant turds all over the Mackey city. It was quite unpleasant.
One day, a young Cartman got lost in the Mackey Forest. The Cartman was scared, lonely, and cold. It cried for it's mommy as it wandered around.
However, it was not it's mommy the young Cartman found, but instead a Mackey! This Mackey was also young, and was also scared, lonely, and cold.
The Cartman knew that the Mackey was supposed to be it's sworn enemy. The Cartman even had the necessary weapons to destroy the Mackey. But the Mackey looked so beautiful, pure, and innocent. It wasn't at all what the Cartmen elders made a Mackey out to be.
The Mackey stared at the Cartman. The Mackey was equally confused. The Cartman seemed so harmless.
The Mackey held out it's hand, and in the hand was a single flower. The flower was white, and had a smell like no other flower.
"Bich." The Mackey said shyly. This, of course, meant the Mackey was trying to give a gift to the Cartman.
Knowing it shouldn't, the Cartman took the flower and pocketed it. "Thanks..." The Cartman whispered in fear of being heard.
The Mackey blushed a light pink. "M'kay."
The Cartman smiled a little. "M'kay."
The Mackey smiled back.
Just then, there was the sound of Cartman footsteps coming towards the two youths. Quickly, they shared a sweet kiss before the Mackey ran away.
The Cartman, out of breath, found it's youth. Completely unaware of what had just happened, the parent Cartman took it's child home.
The Cartman and the Mackey slowly grew up, as all Cartmen and Mackeys do. They both thought of each other almost all the time.
Eventually, the Cartman became old enough for Fart Duty (1). The Cartman had been training it's whole life for this. When the day finally came, the Cartman broke into the first home it found. Before the gas could be released from the Cartman's colon, the Cartman felt a wave of nostalgia.
The Mackey happened to be the same Mackey that the Cartman had fallen in love with all those years ago. The Cartman ran up to the Mackey, and it initiated the Cartman Mating Ceremony (2). The Mackey was confused, but it liked this strange sort of contact.
The Cartman proceeded with the mating process. The Mackey and the Cartman kissed passionately, and then the Cartman slowly took off it's beloved Mackey's pants.
The Cartman put it's finger inside of the Mackey, and the Mackey was now carrying the Cartman's child.
Unfortunately, the Cartman still had to fart out the Mackey. It was in it's DNA. The Cartman released a smelly sulfurous fart. The Mackey immediately dropped dead. The Cartman started crying, and held the dead Mackey in it's arms. Since the Cartmen aren't invincible against their own farts, the Cartman died quickly as well.
The two corpses were found, still holding each other. They were buried together, as nothing could break them apart.
GLOSSARY
1-Fart duty is when a Cartman goes into a Mackey's home and farts them out. Cartman farts are the most vile things ever, and all Mackeys that aren't killed immediately leave their house. The house is then unlivable. Back when this story took place, Mackeys all lived in individual homes. Now, because of them living in apartments, the Farts are much more serious.
2-The Cartman mating ceremony is far different from that of the Mackeys. The Cartmans start by kissing the top of another Cartman's head (or, in this case, a Mackey's head). The Cartmen then kiss on the mouth, and it ends when one Cartman inserts it's finger into the other Cartman's butthole. The finger then falls off and forms into a new Cartman, who is then pooped out in three month's time. Because of the finger method, you can tell of a Cartman's sexual activity by how many fingers they have left. Many Cartmen get fake fingers, as Cartmen are cruel creatures, and ridicule those who are parents.