By the time he was buzzed into the apartment, Adam was soaking wet. It had started to rain halfway through the walk over. He was clutching the brown paper bag under his arm so it wouldn't disintegrate in the rain.
Lawrence answered the door in black slacks and a white dress shirt hanging unbuttoned over a white tank top, he was no longer using the cane, and his stride was almost back to normal with a new, better fitting prosthetic.
"Jesus, you look like a drowned rat," Lawrence said as he opened the door. "Did you walk here?"
"Um, yeah. You know, it wasn't raining when I started. Seemed like a good idea. Exercise." Adam wished he could think up quicker excuses. His natural sarcasm didn't seem to work when he got around this man.
"Well, come in before you get pneumonia out there."
Adam shook off his sodden coat and tossed it over a chair. The paper bag of bottles made clinking noises as he set it down on the same chair and fumbled around in it. The apartment was silent, save the quiet noises of the evening news coming from the television. Most of the lights were off and it was dusty and cluttered, as though no one had bothered to clean it in a while. Lawrence had walked over to the small kitchen for glasses, so his back was turned to Adam while he looked around.
"So, where is everybody? Your wife and kid, I mean?"
"Oh. Ali and I are getting separated; she's been staying with her mother upstate. Diana is with her."
"Jesus, man, I'm sorry. After everything else…" He didn't need to explain.
Lawrence walked back in to the hallway with two clean glasses, and motioned to the sitting room where the television was playing. "It's alright. It had been a long time in coming, I think it took what happened to us for me to realize it."
Adam hitched his breath at the thought. He hadn't talked to anyone about being trapped in Jigsaw's game. He hadn't really talked to anyone all month, though. Lawrence was far too calm about the whole thing, always speaking like he was analyzing the situation.
"So, you've been sitting around here alone this whole time?"
"I did go back to work as soon as possible, but, yes. I've been alone the rest of the time. Sit down."
Adam set down a six pack of beer and a bottle of tequila on the expensive-looking coffee table and sat down the leather sofa. There were other chairs, but Lawrence sat beside him and opened a can of beer.
"Thanks for bringing drinks- I haven't been out much lately." He took a drink and dropped his prosthetic foot on the table. "This damn thing…"
"It looks good." Adam said without thinking. Lawrence raised an eyebrow at him. "I mean, you can hardly tell it's- it's not- it's not a-
"Not actually a foot? I shouldn't be complaining. Aren't we supposed to be appreciating life now or something? Wasn't the whole purpose?"
Adam snorted. "Yeah, I think we're supposed to wake up every morning, kiss the ground, hug a puppy, and sing show tunes. Oh thank you, mighty Jigsaw!"
Lawrence laughed. "Yeah, something like that. Only, I don't feel very different." Neither spoke for a moment, going through a few more beers. "So, why did you call me? It doesn't feel like you just wanted to catch up."
"Yeah… Listen, this is hard to say and I don't want to say it, but I'm not doing too well, Lawrence." Adam spoke quickly, as though it would be less humiliating the faster he said it. "I had to sell my car, that's why I walked, and I'm gonna get kicked out of my apartment soon because I'm not gonna be able to come up with the rent. I dream about that room, about you, every night and I can't take it anymore. Why am I alive? Just to keep living in this shit and hating myself? I think I'm going insane!" He ran out of breath and inhaled deeply.
He looked up. Lawrence was looking at him, unblinkingly, and Adam couldn't read the expression on his face. Without warning, Lawrence reached across and embraced the other man.
"Ah! Jesus, man, what're you-"
"Adam, oh, Adam, I know exactly what you mean. Please, you can stay here with me."
"Um, okay. But why the hugging?"
Lawrence pulled back, his hand still resting on Adam's forearm. "Sorry, I'm just so relieved to be able to speak to you. To be able to talk about this. Please stay here, I- I don't like being alone." He removed his hand, and Adam was surprised to find that he missed it.
"Well, thanks. You know what we should do now?"
"What?" Lawrence asked.
"Get fucking wasted." Adam opened the bottle of tequila and poured two generous portions into their glasses. He was smiling.
Lawrence liked it when Adam smiled. He couldn't force the thought that when he made love with Ali for the last time, it was Adam that he thought of just before he climaxed. He had trouble even admitting it to himself. Lawrence had never thought himself anything but straight and he'd married his one and only love. Not that Ali had been the only woman he'd ever been with, but she was certainly the only one he'd cared about the next morning.
As they chatted and dared each other to take more and more shots, Lawrence couldn't help but stare. Adam was smiling more now than he'd ever seen before, his laughter wasn't bitter and sarcastic anymore, but genuine.
Half the bottle was gone before Adam had fallen off the couch and Lawrence had dropped his glass, leaving pointed shards all over the floor.
"Shit!" He slurred and stumbled to the kitchen. Lawrence was sure there was a broom around here, somewhere…
"I got it!" Adam laughed, reaching for the glass.
"Don't- don't touch it. You're drunk. I- broom- somewhere…"
"Who's drunk?" Adam asked, picking up shards of glass. "I'm not- Ouch!" He'd cut himself. Lawrence stumbled out of the kitchen, leaving the upper cabinets (that he had been searching for a broom in vain) and grabbed a towel.
"Here, lemme-" He took Adam's hand and wrapped it clumsily in the towel. "Pressure." He said stupidly.
"S'okay…" Adam slurred. He looked up and caught Lawrence's eyes. "You're too nice to me."
"Naw, no, I- I like you."
Adam cocked his head a bit. "You like me?" Years of depressingly low self-esteem were starting to surface as Lawrence held the towel to his bleeding hand. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was all that they had gone through in Jigsaw's game, or maybe it was pure loneliness, but Lawrence leaned forward and kissed the other man.