Running Away
Running Away
The snow crunched under my feet and rain drops pelted me as I moved swiftly away from the house. I was running, forever running away from the things that bothered me. My whole life I had mentally run from my family, privacy needed on both sides. Then I had run from Bella. I still remembered the smell of her blood, and my whole body yearned for it in a way that made venom well up in my mouth.
And now I was running from Tanya. After what had happened between us before, she should have known what my reaction would be. I could still picture her as she had looked when I ran from the house. Her strawberry blond hair had fallen into her face, hiding the tears, as I turned for the back door to run.
Strawberries. Though Bella's glorious scent had masked almost everything else in the biology classroom, when I had first seen her, I still managed to catch a whiff of her strawberry shampoo. Everything reminded me of her. I wanted to scream at myself. Even Tanya, who was different than Bella in every way reminded me of the girl sent from my personal hell.
Edward, please come back, Eleazar thought. I am sure that I can help you.
"No!" I screamed out loud. "No one can help me! No one understands what I am going through." I stopped running, and slumped own against a tree, feeling more alone than I had ever felt. Before I had met my demon, I had felt complete, but Bella's scent had brought me to the realization that I truly was alone. I could not explain why a smell could do that, but it had.
I knew it then. I needed my family. I needed Emmett's playful joking, Alice's brightness, Carlisle's understanding. But most of all, I needed Esme's open and loving arms. And may god damn anyone who got in that way. Even beautiful light-skinned, amazing smelling girls with multiple death wishes.
I jogged quickly back to the Denali Coven, and gathered my things. Kate, Irina, and Carmen gave me meaningful hugs, all managing to hold back the tearless sobs that I knew I did not deserve. Eleazar thumped my hard on the back, a thump that probably would have broken a human's back.
Tanya held back until I was about to leave. Quietly, she followed me out the door. When I reached the door to Carlisle's car, she spoke.
"Edward, I am truly so sorry for everything that I have done. Please forgive me." She whispered.
"Tanya, there is nothing to forgive. And I am also very sorry, but I don't think this ever could have worked out between us." I stroked her cheek, wiping away the tear like rain drops falling down her face.
"I understand. You love another. The loneliness that you feel is from her. And I shall not keep you from her. Now go, Edward, return to your life. And next time we meet, I hope it is under happier circumstances," she reached in back of me, opened the door, and all but shoved me into the car. "But do not forget," her words caressed as she slowly closed the door. "That I will always love you."
With that, the door was shut, and I gunned the car, the noise scaring me after the quiet of Tanya's voice.
As I drove down the long driveway that would lead me away from the Denali coven, and out into the open night sky, one thing that Tanya said kept ringing in my ears. I understand. You love another. The loneliness that you feel is from her. I could not deny that part of me felt empty. If only Tanya had told me, I thought to myself as I drove closer to the place I called home, who it was that I love.