Through My Eyes, Chap. 2
Disclaimer – Don't own 'em, not making any money...just having a little playdate.
A/N – Hadn't planned on doing this second chapter, but the voices in my head wouldn't shut up. Enjoy! – robertwnielsen.
"We gotta get the Lady!" I stated.
"Not 'we,' 'ME!' The instructions say, 'ME!'" Dom shouted in return. I couldn't believe Dom was gonna leave me out of a rescue mission for Hawke, especially if they wanted to keep Airwolf.
"Dom, don't do that to me," I said, and my voice sounded like I was ready to break into tears at any moment, which, in all honesty, I was. "I care about him, too, y'know. Probably more than you know." I really didn't know why I said that, at least, not at the time. Now, of course, I know exactly why I said that—because it's the truth. I have loved Stringfellow Hawke practically since the day he and I kissed on that movie set about a year ago. Once the director got Hawke to relax, I swear, I've never had anybody kiss me like that, and I made up my mind right then and there—Hawke is the only man I ever want kissing me. Period.
But we gotta get him back first—he's been kidnapped by a billionaire named John Bradford Horn, who's trying to add Airwolf to his collection. But, something's bugging me—I've dealt with Horn-types before, back when I was a cop in Texas, and they don't normally start an operation like this without doing some thorough research on their targets. They must have known Hawke and Dom were the only two who could fly the Lady, so they'd know Dominic could deliver her, but I know somethin' they don't. I know how to fly her. I can still picture Michael's face after I made that announcement. "I can fly her!" I said emphatically. Michael almost turned purple, he was so mad. "You can fly Airwolf?" he demanded.
Hawke and Dom taught me to fly Airwolf a few months ago...first, because Hawke needed my help when Michael was captured in East Germany, and he and Dom were injured in a crazy accident during a flying stunt. Hawke taught me how to run the engineering console, and we were able, with Dom's help, to get Michael back. Then, not long ago, they decided to check me out as a full backup pilot, in case something ever happened to Dom, or String. Now, Michael was insisting that we abandon Hawke. Like hell we will, I thought. If Michael thinks for one second that we're gonna just up and abandon String, then he's got another think coming!
Michael had just asked me if I was serious, that I could fly Airwolf. "YES!" I shouted, probably more loudly than I should have. "Hawke and Dom taught me, nothing can undo that. Now, you wanna talk about letting us go?" I demanded, then Dom and Michael slid into the back of the limo with me, and Michael proceeded to tell us that we had 48 hours to rescue Hawke...then, he'd hit the location where Hawke was being held, in his words, "with everything I've got." And, considering Michael's contacts within the military, not to mention the assault teams he has available, I reckon there wouldn't be much left of this compound, or String, if we failed. So, we just have to make sure we don't fail, I thought, determined, even as Michael handed me a pouch with several small vials and a hypodermic needle. He proceeded to tell us that it was an experimental serum that the FIRM had been working on, and that it should set String's head straight, but we shouldn't use it unless it was absolutely necessary, because the reported side effects had included radical drops in body temperature, convulsions, and in about a third of the tests, death. I resolved that I'd follow Michael's orders. I didn't want anything to happen to String, if I could avoid it. All the same, when I heard Michael say that almost a third of the test subjects had died, I know my face turned white, and I'm pretty sure Dom noticed it, too.
Once Dom and I were out of the limousine, we high-tailed it to the Lair, after making sure we weren't being followed, and got Airwolf. As we flew towards Horn's hideout, Dom said to me, "We're going in, Cait. If you get hung up, remember the missile compartment. Understand?"
"Right," I replied, suddenly becoming frightened. What the hell had I gotten myself into, anyway? I remembered thinking. This was definitely not somethin' a small-town gal from Pope County, Texas, should be involved in.Then I realized I should've thought about that before I drove away from Texas last year to find Hawke. Whether I like it or not, I'm in this thing for the long haul now, I said to myself as Dom brought Airwolf in for a landing.
Once we landed, and Dom got out of Airwolf, I saw String. He looked okay, and even exchanged a thumbs-up with Dom, so I thought maybe we'd all get out of there with our skins intact; but then, I saw Hawke pull a pistol out of his bomber jacket and calmly pump three rounds into Dom's chest. I couldn't believe it—Hawke had just shot Dom in cold-blood—the man who'd raised String and his big brother Saint John since their parents died in that boating accident. Then I noticed Hawke headed towards Airwolf, and I did what Dom told me—I hid in the missile compartment as Hawke climbed into Airwolf and took her into the sky.
During the short flight, I had time to think over what I'd just seen—there was no way—no way in hell that Stringfellow Hawke would shoot Dom like that—not the Hawke I know, at least—and, certainly not if he was in his right mind. Brainwashing, I thought nervously. It's gotta be brainwashing. Then I remembered the drugs Michael had given me—it looked like I was gonna need to use them at some point. And somethin' else struck me as really funny—the look on Dom's face when I blurted out that I knew how to fly Airwolf. Dom looked like he was ready to bust out laughing, I thought. And in all fairness, Michael's reaction was pretty doggoned funny, and I know Dom loves to see Michael squirm like he did then. And I gotta admit, I understand why Dom thought it was so funny, I thought.
Finally, I felt Airwolf settle down and heard Hawke arm the internal security system, then climb out of the chopper. I moved out of the missile compartment and hid behind Hawke's chair. I wasn't exactly sure what I was waiting for, until I heard somebody trying to open the pilot's-side door. Before he could get too far inside, I knocked him out with a quick blow to the head, and then I noticed something—his uniform oughta fit me just fine. I quickly changed out of the Airwolf flight suit into his clothes, then dragged his unconscious body as far away from Airwolf as I could. Then, once I made sure that I'd switched the pouch containing what we hoped was the antidote into one of the pockets of my new uniform, I decided I needed to look for Hawke, and Dom, if he was still alive.
I was surprised that nobody even gave me a second glance as I walked through the corridors of the compound, but nobody did. Suddenly, I passed a room with an open door, and happened to peek inside. DOM! I thought, relieved and excited. He was hooked up to a heart monitor, and the sounds I heard indicated that he was unconscious, not dead. Then, I saw him move slightly, and I knew it—he's alive. Thank God. Now I just had to find String, and hope like hell he was okay, so we could all get out of this mess.
I don't remember where I'd heard the name Angelica before, but the blond woman I saw coming out of a room a little further down the hall certainly looked like the photos Michael had shown Dom and me of her. Then she turned back to the door of the room, and I saw him. Hawke! For the second time in as many minutes, my heart leaped in relief—String and Dom were both alive, and I thought our chances of getting out of this mess had increased about a thousand fold. As Angelica turned and walked away, she seemed to me to have a look of enormous satisfaction in her eyes, and I gotta admit, I wondered what the heck had gone on in that room. If String was really brainwashed like we thought he was, who knew what she might have done with Hawke—or, to him—and, quite frankly, that thought made me furious. Before I walked into String's room, I got the hypo ready, measuring a dose of what I prayed was the antidote into it.
As soon as I was sure that Angelica had moved too far away to see me, I moved towards the door of Hawke's room and slipped inside. An untouched dinner tray sat next to the bed, and I found Hawke standing with his back to me in the middle of the room. I tried to sneak up on him, but that danged super-hearing of his caught me, and he turned around.
When I saw his eyes as they focused on me, I knew something was wrong. Hawke didn't betray so much as an inkling of recognition of who I was. In one respect, I wasn't surprised, since my red hair was hidden under the ball cap I'd lifted from that guard, so I gathered my nerve and said, "Hawke?" I hoped my voice would sound familiar to him, but I was wrong.
"SPY!" Hawke shouted, charging me. I deftly sidestepped him, but he turned and advanced on me again. I'm so sorry, Hawke, I thought sadly as I kicked him square in the gut, dropping him to his knees temporarily.
He recovered quicker than I expected, though, and I reached into my pocket for the hypo as he charged again. Without even thinking, I rammed the needle into his gut, even as Archangel's voice rang in my head—"It's supposed to, but don't use it unless you absolutely have to. The reported side effects have included radical drops in body temperature, and convulsions, and in about a third of the tests, death." But, I reasoned as I lowered String's body to the floor, 66% of the subjects didn't die, so the odds are definitely in my favor. I watched Hawke as he went through a series of convulsions, and then, his body was still.
"Hawke?" I called out, hoping he'd hear me, but no response. "Hawke?" I called again, shaking his body a little, the fear ringing in my voice.Again, I heard Archangel's last words... "...and in about a third of the tests, death." I began to panic at this point, and straddled Hawke to give him CPR, the way I did to Daddy when I was 12, and he had a heart attack on Christmas Eve. But just like that awful night, Hawke wasn't moving. There wasn't any sound coming from his body, and the panic I felt a moment ago gripped me full force.
"NO!" I screamed, pounding Hawke's chest. "I thought it'd help you! NO! NO!" Sobbing, I sank down against Hawke's chest, one ear coming to rest just over his heart, hoping to hear something, anything, that would let me know he was alive. I couldn't believe that Hawke was dead...and that I was responsible, which made me want to die, too, because I'd killed him. The thing that hurt me deepest of all was that I'd never gotten the chance to tell Hawke that I loved him. As much as I thought that our odds of survival had increased when I found String and Dom alive, I felt like they had just decreased again. I began sobbing into Hawke's chest, my emotions finally getting the best of me. Dom! I-I just realized, I'll have to tell Dom that String's dead, and that it's because of me, I thought, now becoming nearly despondent.
I don't know how long I lay there crying, hoping—and praying—that I'd hear something, but suddenly, I felt a twitch underneath me. Then another. And another. I opened my eyes, shook my head to try to clear the tears out of them, and mumbled, "Hawke?" Then I felt him begin to move, so I quickly climbed off him, trying to help him sit up. If he'd opened his eyes and seen me lyin' on top of him like that, I remembered thinking later, what the heck would he have said? I knew I had to quit worryin' about that, though, as I saw Hawke's eyes open and saw him shaking his head, as if he was tryin' to clear out the cobwebs that the drugs had left in there—or somethin' like that.
"Hawke?" I asked again, hoping against hope that he was coming back to us—to me, I thought anxiously as he shook his head, I guess trying to clear the cobwebs out of it. Then he looked over at me, and I could see the recognition in his eyes; or at least, I thought I could. Thank God, he's back, I thought excitedly, a wave of relief flooding through me, and he's okay. Then I realized something—I don't know if he's got his memory back. Even though I hoped he wouldn't, I prepared myself for the very real possibility that Hawke would attack me again. The ball cap I'd been wearing had fallen off during the fight, so my red hair was hangin' down in plain sight—and I guess I was hopin' that'd help String recognize me.
"Cait?" Hawke finally stammered as he brushed a few strands of my hair out of my face, with a tender touch that caused my heart to skip a beat—or two. Thank you, God, I thought excitedly. Hawke was alive, and appeared to have gotten his memory back. Suddenly, he began gasping for air, like he was going to pass out again. "Dom! I-I killed Dom!" String shouted, and just like that, his eyes became dark and hooded again, just like they'd been while he was under the influence of Horn's drugs. I don't want to see that expression again, EVER, and I'll do whatever I have to do, just to make sure I don't, I thought, knowing that I had to reassure Hawke that Dom was alive.
"NO! He's, he's in a cell here. Your gun was filled with tranquilizers! He's all right! I've seen him," I said, stroking Hawke's cheek to try to get him to calm down. "I've seen him." Then, once I thought Hawke was calm, I asked him who this guy, Horn, was. Hawke proceeded to tell me that Horn was in trouble with the US Government six ways from Sunday, all because of oil wells that didn't get drilled, high-rises that didn't get built, and I-don't-know-what all else. Horn had wanted Hawke for some sort of Airwolf mission, but now, we had the upper hand. "We've gotta find a way to get us all outta this," Hawke said, and I felt my emotions swelling again—love, relief that String was alive and okay, and a complete and utter confidence that we were gonna make it.
"We will," I said, fixing my eyes on Hawke's.
The next morning, Hawke went to meet with Horn, pretending to still be brainwashed, while I waited for the escape attempt to begin. Finally, I heard an explosion, and knew Hawke had started attacking the compound. I quietly moved toward Dom's cell, only to be stopped by another one of Horn's guards. "Hey!" He shouted, and I turned and fired two shots into him, dropping him instantly. My next shots opened Dom's cell door, and I threw his arm around my shoulders, helping him out of the cell and towards the exit. We didn't encounter as much resistance as I thought we would—the soldiers were more concerned with defense of the compound, I guess, and a short time later, the three of us were back aboard Airwolf—me in the countermeasure specialist's chair, and Dom in his usual place at the engineering console.
"I'll handle this. Stay out of it. Horn's mine," we heard Hawke say. But I felt compelled to add something.
"I've got dibs on Angelica," I said, my voice sounding colder to me than I'd ever heard it before. I glanced over to Hawke in the commander's chair, and he nodded ever so subtly. There was no way that I was gonna let that bitch get away with anything she might have done to String.
We finally caught up with the car that Horn and Angelica were using to escape, and Hawke used a couple of Hellfire missiles from Airwolf to blast the road ahead of them, forcing them to stop. Once we'd landed, we all drew our service weapons and slowly approached the car. String opened the driver's side door, and a man fell out, evidently the chauffeur, obviously dead from a bullet to the head. We opened the rest of the doors, but found the car deserted. "Where'd they go?" Dom demanded, after finding the trunk as empty as the rest of the car.
"Horn's gonna show up again," Hawke said, his voice cold once again, "and when he does..."
"And the daughter!" I interrupted. "Remember, she's mine!" I had a score to settle with that bitch, and if I ever saw her again, she'd know who I was, no question about it.
We notified Michael and the authorities, then flew Airwolf back to the Lair, drove back to the hangar, and then went our separate ways. While I was relieved that String was back with us, and Airwolf was safe, something had been bugging me ever since we left the compound—not so much my feelings about String—I already knew I loved him—but what were his feelings about me?
I mean, I know about this cockeyed curse Hawke thinks he's got on him—the one where anyone he loves, or might love, will die. But I can't for the life of me understand why Hawke can't accept that what happened to his folks, and his old girlfriend Kelly, were accidents. I don't know all the details, of course, but from what Dom's told me, nobody could've stopped either one of those people from having those collisions. As for this other woman, Gabrielle, I don't see why Hawke thinks that was his fault, either. I mean, Dom told me a little about this Moffett character; the one who built Airwolf...and what I heard gave me the willies. Geez, I never thought I'd use that word again—'willies', I mean—but it fits. This Moffett character sounded like he was out of his mind. Actually, he and Horn might have gotten along real well, if they didn't decide to try to kill each other.
And I know Gabrielle had self-defense training; heck, I did when I became a cop, not to mention the "training" I got from my big sister Erin, and I can only imagine that people who work for Michael get training that rivals even what we got with the Texas Highway Patrol, but this Moffett sounded like the kinda guy who didn't always fight fair; and Gabrielle might not have been ready for what happened, especially the way she was just up and sent to Libya after Angela got killed. Heck, I'm a black belt in karate, and I wouldn't have wanted to tangle with this Moffett character...at least, not if I didn't know that Hawke and Dom had the Lady watching my back.
Don't take it that I'm disrespecting Gabrielle. I know how much Hawke loved her, and how important she was to him, and all that, but sometimes cops, or agents like her, are sent into a situation and not prepared for the type of opposition they face; and that's what got Gabrielle killed, not the fact that she was in love with Hawke. Well, that and the fact that this Moffett character sounded like a complete sociopath, at least, if not a complete and total psychopath. Actually, now that I think about it, if they didn't try to kill each other, Moffett and Horn might have gotten along really well. But, for cryin' out loud, Dom told me that there was no way Moffett could have even known Gabrielle was in love with String, 'cause it only started after she flew Michael up to the cabin to tell Hawke about Airwolf bein' stolen; and Moffett was already in Libya by then. But if I know Dom, I remembered thinking to myself, he's already told String that—a few thousand times, at least. Actually, knowin' Dom like I do, he's probably told String that a few thousand times per day, now that I think about it.
Oh, yeah. There's one other big counter to all this argument about a curse—when my plane got hijacked when I was flyin' back to Texas for Erin's wedding. If I hadn't known Hawke and Dom when that happened, I wouldn't be talkin' about this today, except maybe to St. Peter, because I'd be dead. Either drowned, suffocated, or blasted into a million pieces, along with the rest of the crew and passengers on Flight 093. Of course, as String is so quick to remind me, if I'd never met him, I wouldn't have been on that plane, because I never would've left Pope County in the first place. But then, everybody else who was on that plane would be dead, because Hawke and Dom wouldn't have spent so much time searching for them. But who's to say I wouldn't have left Texas anyway, even without ever meetin' Stringfellow Hawke? I mean, I'd threatened to leave on several occasions, both because of Bogan and because of Mom's continuous harassment about findin' a man and having a bunch of babies, so I could easily have wound up on that flight even if I'd never met Hawke. And, he knows that, doggone it! I thought angrily, remembering just how many times I've told both Dom and Hawke that I was gonna leave home, even before they came to town. And, there's been other times when Hawke's saved my life, too; especially after that affair with Carter Anderson III, when I was flyin' him to a meeting, and the plane we were in was almost shot down by Robert Villars, who just so happened to be my boyfriend at the time. H mph. Now, I see he was only getting close to me to find out when I'd be flyin' Anderson to that meeting. I guess there was a bounty on Anderson, or somethin' like that. Anyway, Hawke saved my butt that time, too, and he always brings up that if I hadn't known him, I never would've met Villars, and I wouldn't have started workin' for Dom, so I wouldn't have been the one flyin' Carter Anderson III to that meeting. And as much as I hate to admit it, Hawke does have a point.
Not to mention what happened with Dom's niece Holly, shortly after I arrived here. I still remember, just before Holly and I got into the helicopter to fly up to String's cabin, she told me that she and Hawke made love, and I gotta admit, that rubbed me the wrong way. 'Course, I know now that Holly was goofy as a pet coon. I heard that on TV once, I think, and that she might have been lyin' about her and Hawke sleeping together. I sure hoped she was.
But from the way she talked, I got the feelin' that Holly saw me as some kind of threat between her and String, and when we were nearing an Air Force security zone, just as I radioed that we'd cut the corner, Holly pulled a gun on me and ordered me to fly straight ahead through the zone—which I knew would get us both killed, 'cause the Air Force would try to shoot us down. And they did, sending two F-15s up to bring the helicopter down. But Hawke saved my butt that time, too, with the help of Airwolf. 'Course, I got away from some of the rockets that those F-15s were shootin' at us without Hawke's help, and nobody helped me pull the Jet Ranger outta that spin after Holly and I fought over her pistol and I knocked her out. Not to mention the fact that I'm the one who rescued Hawke from Horn—and beat the snot outta him before I injected him with the antidote. I mean, when I think about it, String's objections to getting closer to me looked pretty stupid, at least to me, considering the evidence. Now, if we could just get String to see that, I thought, I'd be a heckuva lot happier. And I dunno why, but I think String would be happier, too.
And when I think of how many times I've been knocked out, held hostage, tied up, almost raped, shot, and danged near died—even back when I was just a flyin' meter maid in Pope County, Texas—String's objections look pretty danged stupid. Heck, even Dom says so.
But knowing Dom like I do, I'm sure he's tried to get String to understand all that any number of times, and any number of different ways. I've just gotta be patient, I thought when I went to bed that night. He'll figure it out, eventually.
Finally, a few weeks after we'd brought Hawke back, Dom and I were alone in the hangar one day—Hawke was off scouting a location for a shoot, so I figured it might be a good time to talk with him about String...problem was, I didn't have a clue what I was gonna say. But Dom broached the subject, and I responded the only way I could—with the truth. 'Course, Dom ended up finishing my sentence for me, but he got the idea—that I loved String—and not in the way two good friends love each other. I mean, I love Hawke that way too, and he loves me the same way, but I also love Stringfellow Hawke like, like a woman loves a man she wants to spend the rest of her life with, as his wife. And that's the kinda love I wish he had for me—that he loved me like a man loves his wife.
And, there's nothing I'd like more than to be Mrs. Stringfellow Hawke...although, the way things are right now, I feel like the Cowboys have a better chance of goin' back to the Super Bowl in my lifetime than I do of actually getting to marry Hawke. But I can sure hope, and dream. Which I have, practically every night since that kiss on the movie set, and some of the things I've dreamed about have gotta be illegal. At least, illegal back in Texas. Here in California, that's another bowl of cherries entirely, I've got a funny feeling.
When I told Dom that I wondered if Hawke had slept with Angelica, I wasn't sure how he'd react...but I think he kinda figured out what I was thinkin'—after all, I did call 'dibs' on Angelica when we were chasing them...and that's not the sort of thing that people do normally. But Dom wasn't near as surprised as I thought he'd be when I said that I'd been thinking about Hawke sleeping with Angelica, and Dom told me that Hawke might not remember one way or another, but that Dom would try askin' Hawke about it, at least. And to be honest, that's all I could've asked Dom to do, anyway. Then, Dom said that everything he and I had talked about with regards to Hawke would stay between us—and, I had to admit, I was relieved to hear that. I know String thinks of Dom as his surrogate father, and tells Dom just about everything. I was just hopin' that he didn't expect Dom to reciprocate, and I was danged glad Dom said he'd keep my secret, 'cause that would just be so embarrassing, especially if String didn't love me the same way that I love him.
Don't ask me why, but when I got to the hangar the next day, I had a feeling. Like something was going to be different today, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I really hate feelin' like that, 'specially when there ain't a danged thing I can do about it. I'd finally just about resigned myself to another dreary, dull day, and then, I heard the chopper comin' in. Easy, stomach, I said to myself, wishing I hadn't had that bowl of cereal this morning. Don't turn over. Easy does it. Just act like today's any other day. Then I realized—that's the problem. The helicopter finally landed, and after they shut the engine off, Dom and String got out, and I did a double take, feeling like I was gonna faint. String was smiling, a full-blown, ear-to-ear smile that made him, if it was humanly possible, even more attractive than I think he already is.
Then, he said, "'Mornin,' Cait." Just like that, and without me saying "good morning" to String first, or Dom havin' to prompt String to say it, like usually happens—usually by Dom givin' String a stiff elbow to the ribs, or somethin' like that—and then I realized, he was smiling at me. What is going on with him? I asked myself, even as I tried to make sure I didn't faint. Then, I realized I should answer him, and I stammered, "'Mornin', Hawke." I think my tone of voice gave away my shock at what had just happened, 'cause Hawke came right up to me, gently laid his hand on my shoulder, and said, "Cait? You okay?" And I could tell Dom was just as confused about events as I was. And I found myself thinking about how Dom had told us the doctor had given him a clean bill of health the other day, including his heart. Which is a danged good thing, I thought, 'cause what just happened could easily have given him a heart attack. Heck, it danged near gave me a heart attack, so I can only imagine how Dom felt!
"Yeah, I'm fine, Hawke," I finally said. "Just a little surprised. You don't usually say 'good morning' first, y'know." Boy, that's an understatement. I could count the number of times he's done that on one hand, and still have fingers left over, I thought. But for the rest of the day, I noticed strange things beginning to happen. Hawke couldn't seem to stop smiling, especially at me; and if I didn't love him so danged much, that woulda made me nervous as all get out, but since I did, I didn't mind. Then, just before he and Dom climbed into the helicopter to fly back to the cabin, String took off his shades, looked me dead in the eye and said, "See you in the mornin', Caitlin." Again with that wonderful smile of his. I thought, Okay. Who the hell is this guy? I mean, he looks like String, and he talks like String, but he sure as heck ain't acting like String—at least, not the String I know—and love.
"'Night, String," I said. I resolved as I watched the helicopter fly away that I'd use his first name a lot more often. I mean, 'Hawke' sounds like I'm ticked off at him, not like, I'm in love with him, which by now, I knew I was. As if I ever doubted it before, I thought. I had fallen harder for Stringfellow Hawke than I did for Robert or any other guy I've ever dated, including guys back in high school. But, if I hadn't known it the day he smiled at me when I first came to the hangar, I knew it then—One way or the other, I was gonna spend the rest of my life with Stringfellow Hawke. And, Dom has mentioned that he hopes there'll be someone around to take care of String after he dies, and I'd love to be that someone, as Mrs. Stringfellow Hawke, I thought, even though I knew the odds of that happening were extremely slim. And as I climbed into bed that night, I remembered how I'd been feelin' like things would be different—I guess they were different, I thought as I got into bed and tried to fall asleep. And I had to admit, seein' String's smiling face—in my mind, as I closed my eyes—only helped me fall asleep that much quicker.
The next day, while String was off doin' that shoot, Dom asked me if I'd meant what he thought I meant when I called dibs on Angelica. I said that I did—that I was jealous, because I thought her and Hawke had slept together. 'Cause I want Hawke for myself, I remember thinking. Oh, I don't doubt that I wouldn't be his, first, if you know what I mean, but he'd certainly be mine; if it ever happens between us, that is. All the same, I couldn't help remembering how I'd been laying on top of String back at Horn's compound, crying when I thought he was dead. I'm sure glad he didn't see me on top of him like that, I thought, knowing what it would have looked like to anyone who might have seen us—or to String, if I hadn't noticed he was waking up. I suddenly felt a moist warmth rising from inside me, and I knew exactlywhat it was. Oh, my God! I found myself hoping like crazy that my face didn't betray the sudden rush of hormones I was feeling.
Over the course of the next few days, I gotta admit, I was paranoid—I mean, things had gone well for a while, but I know String—he can flip and go back into full-blown silent mode at any moment. But that seemed to be the last thing on his mind...he was being more and more affectionate every day. I couldn't help but wonder what the heck Dom had said to him, but then I thought, maybe he's just finally acknowledging the 800-pound gorilla in the hangar, his feelings about me. And maybe, just maybe, he finally realizes that it'd be okay to love me, the way I love him. All I knew was—that smile looked like it needed to be surgically removed. Well, I also knew one other thing—I wouldn't dream of suggesting it.
Finally, a few weeks after String started paying me more attention, I hit a jackpot—he actually asked me out for a date! But I have to admit that I was so shocked by him even askin' me, that I almost screwed it up. As soon as he asked, my eyes filled with tears, like I was upset, and String said, "Cait, we don't have to. I mean..." I knew I had to do somethin', fast, so I wiped my eyes as quick as I could, then smiled up at him, and said, "No, String. I want to. You have no idea how long I've been waitin' for you to ask me out! Believe me, I want to—I'm—I'm just really happy right now, okay?" He hesitated, then smiled and nodded, and I excused myself for a minute to go retouch my makeup. When I came back, I was absolutely beaming, and I think that helped String relax. I have to admit, when String opened the passenger side door of the Jeep for me, I was surprised, but I realized that must've been somethin' his dad, or Dom; or maybe both of 'em, taught him to do—and bein' an old-fashioned Southern gal at heart, I sure as heck wasn't gonna argue about it. 'Cause Daddy always said that a real gentleman should hold doors open for his lady, I thought, but then I caught myself—I'm not really String's lady, yet. But, maybe that's gonna change tonight.
It was simple, but romantic—he took me out for dinner after work one Friday night. I told String as we walked into the restaurant that there were some things I'd been wanting to tell him—mainly, that I was sick and tired of waitin' around for him to figure his feelings out about me—but he told me that he had some things to tell me, too, and he started out by saying that he'd been thinking about 'us.' And that startled me—'cause as far as I can tell, there is no 'us', I remembered thinking, even though I wanted there to be, more than I've wanted anything for a long time.
Finally, String said he was tired of runnin' from his feelings about me. And when I asked how he did feel about me, he said—he said that he loved me. I remember not bein' quite sure I'd heard him right, and I asked him what he said, and he repeated himself. String told me he loved me, and that he'd loved me for a long time. So what else could I say but that I loved him, too, and that I'd been waiting a long time for him to say that. Not long after that, Hawke asked me what I wanted to tell him, and I hesitated for a beat, 'cause most of what I wanted to tell him was that I was sick and tired of waitin' on him to figure out his feelings for me, and that I was gonna go home...to Texas. But when String said, "Caitlin, I love you. And I have for a long time," I got so excited that I completely forgot everything else on my mind, and, to be perfectly honest, it just didn't matter anymore, anyway. I mean, I know that I shoulda been angry as all get out that Hawke had been denying us the chance to be together for so long, but I, I just couldn't. Guess the fact that I love him so danged much won out. I finally told String that most of what I wanted to say didn't matter anymore, but I added, "I guess the only thing I have to say, now, is—I love you, String. Don't ever forget that."
String just smiled and said, "I won't—on one condition."
And I got nervous again. "Condition?" I asked him, sweetly.
He said, "Yeah. That you don't forget that I love you, too." Yeah, right. Like that's ever gonna happen, I thought as I sighed with relief. Now that I know String loves me the same way I love him, I'll never forget that, I thought happily.
We finished dinner and headed back for the hangar so I could go home, and as we were on our way back, String asked me what I was thinkin' that day after the hijacking, when Dom made that comment about my future. I said, "Well, String," and I have to admit, I was kinda embarrassed, "I have to admit—I wasn't exactly sure what you were thinkin' at that moment...and, I was embarrassed 'cause of what Dom did. I didn't know what you were gonna do, and, it scared me a little." I was still unsure what String might say, or do, after hearing that, but he calmly pulled the Jeep off one side of the road, and after he'd shut off the engine, he said, "I'm sorry, Cait. I didn't mean to scare you. I guess I was kind of shocked at what Dom was hinting at, or at least, what I thought he was hinting at, and I didn't know what to do, so I did what I usually do in situations like that, and just kept quiet. But," he said, grinning at me, "that's all academic now, isn't it?" I sighed with relief and said, "It sure is, String. It sure is." Then, I leaned over and kissed him. But, I've gotta admit somethin' that crossed my mind just before we got back to the hangar, after String apologized again for ignoring my feelings for so long—If String doesn't quit doin' that, even though I love that man more than life itself, I swear to God I'm gonna kick that sexy ass of his straight to his cabin! And, I thought with a small air of satisfaction, he knows darned well I can do it, too. But, it's nice to know that he feels badly that he ignored my feelings for as long as he had, and whatever he does to try to make up for it, I sure as heck wouldn't try to stop him, even though he doesn't need to do it!
We finally got back to the hangar, and I got ready to go home, and Dom got ready to take String back to the cabin—but I've gotta admit something—when String kissed me good-night back at the hangar, before I went home, I was wishin' he'd come back to my place, or take me up to the cabin with him—'cause those desires I felt a couple of days ago are back. But, I realized, there'll be time for that later. I guess I am String's lady now, I thought excitedly, and I couldn't be happier.
I gotta admit, I didn't get a lick of sleep that weekend, and Dom noticed it on Monday. And the reason I didn't get much sleep was because every time I closed my eyes to try to sleep, I kept picturing String—not just his smiling face, but all of him—lying next to me in bed after we made love. Fortunately, we didn't have a lot of work to do, so Dom closed the hangar down early, and I went home and crashed after having a small dinner. I slept clean until the alarm woke me up Tuesday morning, and wound up missing two phone calls—one from Erin, and one from Mom. All I could think when I heard their voices was, I know somethin' you don't know. But, I also knew that I'd be tellin' them about String and me before long. Heck, Mom had been arguing with me to forget all about String and come home, practically ever since the hijacking. Well, I finally got around to callin' Mom back, and Erin was at the ranch with Mom, too. And let's just say I'm surprised I can still hear after tellin' Mom and Erin that Hawke had finally come around to our way of thinking—I've only heard screams like that either during an Airwolf mission, or when Erin and I were kids on Christmas morning. Actually, Mom's screams sounded more like the Christmas morning screams Mom and Daddy used to hear from me and Erin, after we found that Santa had visited during the night. I promised Mom that I'd let String know that she was happy that String and I were finally together, and I made a mental note to myself—Before you announce that you're getting married, or that you're pregnant, make sure you and String both have earplugs.
And later that morning, when Dom and String got to the hangar, I hugged String harder than I've ever hugged anybody in my life, and when I let him go, I was embarrassed at the intensity of the embrace, and told him, "Sorry about that, but part of that was from Mom." I could see him get real nervous, and I didn't blame him—Hawke had heard some of the discussion/arguments I've had with Mom about him, at least, my side of those discussions/arguments, and I'm sure he was worried about how Mom would react to finding out that we were finally together. String asked what else Mom had to say, and I told him, "Oh, just that she's real happy, no, make that ecstatic that you finally saw sense about me." And Mom's not the only one, I thought as I kissed String again. Ever since String told me he'd finally decided to quit runnin' from his feelings about me, life is just about perfect. All the same, there's a part of me that keeps thinkin' that I'm dreaming—that String hasn't really accepted the fact that I love him. God, if I amdreamin', I thought one night before I went to bed, don't you darewake me up! 'Cause I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it if one morning, I woke up and discovered that the last few weeks had all been a very cruel dream. Slowly, though, I began to accept that it was really happening—String had finally admitted that he loved me, the same way I love him.
I had finally settled into the idea that Hawke and I were a couple. At long last, we were together the way I'd wished we would be ever since I met String, and I was loving every minute of it. But after a couple of months, my thoughts about becoming Mrs. Stringfellow Hawke began surfacing again, and I started wondering—What are the odds of Dallas makin' the Super Bowl this year? But nothing happened, until one night about four months after we officially got together.
Instead of going out somewhere with Hawke like I was used to doing, I was surprised when he led me over to one of Dom's choppers and we climbed in. Once we were in the air, I quickly realized we were headed to the cabin. "What's goin' on here, String?" I demanded, but the only answer I got was the stony silence that I hadn't experienced since I first met him. What the heck is he doing? I thought.
My confusion only grew when we got to the cabin and I found Dom, Erin, and Mom up there waiting for us. When I asked them what was going on, all they could tell me was that Dom told them it was a surprise. Okay, now I'm really confused, and worried, I remembered anxiously thinking as we went inside. Dom had cooked up a huge pot of spaghetti with marinara sauce, along with plenty of garlic bread, and I tried more than once during dinner to get String to tell me what was goin' on in his head, using as many of my feminine wiles as I discretely could without getting Mom even more suspicious than she already was, but dang it all, Hawke wasn't sayin' a word.
At least, not until after dinner. String sat me down on the couch, after Dom made sure we all had a glass of champagne, which really surprised the heck out of me. Then, just like I'd been hoping, and praying, and dreaming that he'd do, he pulled a maroon and gold velvet box out of the pocket of his jacket, got down on one knee, and after opening the box to reveal a gorgeous diamond ring, he said, "Caitlin O'Shannessy, will you marry me?"
Right then, I couldn't say a word, because I felt like my heart was tryin' to jump out of my throat—I'd begun thinkin' that I'd only hear those words—String askin' me to marry him—in my dreams at night—but he'd just asked me, for real. Finally, after several seconds, I wiped the tears out of my eyes and said, "God, yes! Yes, Stringfellow Hawke, I will marry you!" He smiled as he slipped the ring onto my finger and pulled me up onto my feet; and then, he kissed me like I've never been kissed before, even better than the one from the movie set...or the one after our first date.
Of course, as soon as we separated, which as far as I'm concerned was way too quick, Erin, Mom and Dominic all offered their congratulations to both me and String; and Mom even apologized to String for all the nasty things she and Erin ever said about him. String simply smiled and told Mom that he didn't blame her for how she felt—after all, String said, he'd been being incredibly stupid for a long time, and Mom was just telling me, and by extension, String, how she felt. I have to admit, hearing String accept my mom's apologies so graciously just reminded me once again why I loved him so much. And hearing them getting along so well, after everything Mom said about String, was a huge load off my mind. Amazing what a little diamond engagement ring and a marriage proposal will do, ain't it? I remembered thinking later. I was actually surprised Mom didn't scream when String proposed, until she told me, just before Dom took her and Erin back to the hangar, how shocked she was. Yeah, you, me, and the rest of us, except String, I thought excitedly. Somebody pinch me, I thought, 'cause I have got to be dreaming!
Later that evening, when I saw Dom getting ready to take Mom and Erin back to the hangar so they could catch a cab back to their hotel, I have to admit that I almost went with them to go home myself, but something stopped me. I knew, now that I was engaged to String, that I didn't want to be away from him that night. Good thing I left that overnight bag up here a few weeks ago, I said to myself, knowing that I had a couple days' worth of clothes here at the cabin, just in case. I still remember the knowing glances we got from Dom, Erin, and especially from my mother after I said I wanted to stay at the cabin with String, as if they knew why I wanted to stay there instead of goin' home. And I gotta admit, I was embarrassed as all get out—not because I didn't know what Mom, Erin, and Dom were thinking—but, because I knew exactly what they were thinking was going to happen—because it was exactly what I was thinking, and hoping, was gonna happen. As Mom, Erin, and Dom walked out of the cabin, String turned to me and said, "Was there a reason you wanted to stay here tonight, Cait?"
I simply moved closer to him, pressed my body against his, and said, "String. Don't ask stupid questions." I couldn't help but think of somethin' Daddy once told Erin and me: 'The only stupid question is the one you never ask.' But, I thought, that one comes pretty doggoned close. As soon as the helicopter disappeared from sight, I kissed String again, and poured every ounce of my love, and my desire, for him into it. Finally, he separated us and said, "Cait, if this isn't what you want, you tell me, right now." I have to admit—I was a little confused as to why String hesitated, but then it hit me like a Hellfire missile fired from the Lady—I told String about Bogan's boys almost raping me—no wonder he's hesitating, I thought. I gotta admit, knowing that String was takin' my feelings into consideration like that just made me love him—and want him—that much more.
"String," I said, fixing him with my most seductive grin, "shut up, take me upstairs, and make love to me. Now." And without another word, String finally proceeded to do precisely what I'd told him.
When I went to sleep that night, a plan formed in my mind. Early the next morning, I rolled over and positioned myself on top of String, similar to the way I'd been at Horn's compound that day. Just as I made myself comfortable, I saw String's beautiful eyes open. "Well," he said, reaching up to touch my face, "good morning, Caitlin. To what do I owe this pleasure?"
"Ever since that day at Horn's compound, I've wondered what you would've done if you'd found me on top of you that day," I said, grinning seductively at him. Suddenly, I gasped as I felt Hawke flip me over so that he was on top, and I slipped my arms back around his neck "M mm...this is exactly what I hoped you'd do," I said.
"Glad I didn't disappoint you," Hawke said, grinning at me.
I told String I wanted to move into the cabin, permanently, the next day, and we had everything taken care of that afternoon. After spending one night wrapped in the arms of the man I loved, I knew I didn't want to sleep alone again, ever. And later that evening, I asked him why he hesitated so much last night—and he confirmed what I'd suspected—he didn't want to bring back any bad memories from what Bogan's boys tried to do to me. I did the best I could to reassure him that any memories I might have from those days were long dead and buried, and that I was thinkin' about nothin' more than making a whole new set of memories with String. But like I thought before—knowin' String took my feelings into consideration like that just makes me love String that much more—if that's humanly possible—I thought, 'cause I already love him with my entire heart and soul. And, I couldn't wait until the day I could finally call myself Mrs. Stringfellow Hawke.
Two Months Later...
I can't believe this is happening, I thought as Mom fixed my hair after we had all gotten dressed for my wedding. I'm gonna marry String. I'm finally gonna be Mrs. Stringfellow Hawke. I couldn't help but think about Daddy, and how I wished he coulda been here to walk me down the aisle...but then I remembered, I'd asked Dom to do it, and since he wouldn't ever get the chance with his own daughter, Sally Ann, he was more than happy to stand in Daddy's place and do this for String and me. And besides, Dom's been like a father to me ever since I came to California lookin' for String, not to mention bein' my biggest fan, especially when it came to getting together with String.
String told me after we got engaged about how his older brother Saint John had finally come home—it turned out he'd been busted out of the POW camp right near the time that the "war" ended, but got approached by a division of the CIA to work in "hotspots" around the world—not too different from what Dom, String and I do for Michael's FIRM. Since String and Dom probably thought Saint John was already dead, he hadn't seen the harm in it. But then, agents from the FIRM finally caught up with Saint John and convinced him that his services were no longer required, so he came home.
String was happy to see the brother that he'd thought was lost forever, but I could tell there was some resentment over Saint John's decision. Not that I blamed String for bein' upset at Saint John. I mean, if Erin had ever pulled a stunt like that, I would've probably whupped the living daylights out of her, and then, Mom woulda done it again. But, Dom and I finally got String to understand why Saint John did what he did, and they made their peace about a month before String proposed to me, so Saint John's standing with String today as his best man, while Erin's my maid of honor. She woulda killed me if I'd had anybody else do it, I don't have any doubts. Or at least, she woulda tried to kill me. After all, she taught me almost everything I know about hand-to-hand combat, with the police academy filling in the gaps. So it woulda been a lot more of a fair fight than when she and I were teenagers.
I remember the first time I met Sinj—that's what he insisted that I call him—and how he commented that String seemed different, especially when I told him that String and I were together. Sinj gave me way too much credit, at least in my opinion, for the changes in String, but I knew he was right about one thing—he told me that I was the best thing to ever happen to String. And he's the best thing that ever happened to me, no question about it, I thought.
Even as rocky as our relationship had been when we first met, String and I are more in love than I ever thought possible, and I'm happier than I ever thought it was possible for a person to be. I mean, String's told me about the kind of love his mother and father had, and I remember the kind my folks had until Daddy died, and now I know how they all felt—I mean, I know it sounds corny and overly romantic, but whenever String kisses me, I feel how much he loves me, and I know he feels the love I have for him. And I know that after today, we're going to spend the rest of our lives together.
I dunno who had more tears in their eyes during the ceremony—Mom, Dom, String, or me. Yeah, Dom was cryin', too, but String's tears surprised me more than anybody's. I mean, the only other time I've ever seen Stringfellow Hawke crying was that day at Horn's compound, but I knew these tears were for a much, much happier reason—just like the tears in my own eyes were.
Now, finally, almost two years after I met him, String and I are together, forever. Some people might give me a little grief over getting married so soon after "officially" getting together with String...and actually, Mom tried, but I simply pointed out that String and I were "unofficially" together for almost a year and a half before this all happened, so it all averaged out.
As String and I went to bed that night, our first night as husband and wife, I couldn't believe how my life had changed in the short time since I came to California. And as I felt String's arms around me as I fell asleep, I knew, just like I'd promised myself that first day he smiled at me, that I'd spend the rest of my life with him. And I'll enjoy every second of it, I said to myself as I snuggled tighter against my husband. My husband, I thought excitedly, still not quite believing that I was actually married to String. God, if I'm dreamin', please, please don't wake me up! I thought. I mean, it'd be just my luck that I'd wake up back in my old apartment, alone, and find out that this whole thing was nothin' but a dream. But almost as if he knew what I was thinkin', String turned me in his arms, looked me straight in the face, and said, "Mrs. Hawke, this isn't a dream, I promise you. You're really here, with me, and we're really married."
"How the heck did...oh, never mind," I said just before String kissed me again. Mrs. Hawke, I thought excitedly. Caitlin Hawke. I will never get tired of hearin' that for as long as I live! Thank you, Stringfellow Hawke, for making me the happiest woman in the world, and for making me your wife. I felt a few tears escape my eyes as I finally fell asleep, but I didn't care, because they were happy tears, because my dreams had finally come true.