I was finally back home and it was about lunch time. Robby wasn't back. I opened the fridge with my working arm and took out the chicken leftovers form dinner the night before. I sat down and ate it right out of the tupperware.
The phone rang and no one answered after a few rings so I picked it up, "Hello?"
"Are your parents there, son?" I knew who it was, he called me son.
"Yes, sir. I'll go get them." I walked to the stairs and yelled up for my mom and dad. My dad came rushing down the stairs and pushed passed me to get to the phone. He started tearing as he hung up the phone and walked up stairs. Moments later he came back downstairs with my mom following holding Claire. My father touched my shoulder and I knew to follow him to the car.
We got to the hospital and the doctor that called me son was waiting for us. He motioned for my parents to follow him. My mom put Claire down next to me and we waited in the same chair I sat in earlier.
"Chris?"
"Yeah, Claire?"
"Where's Robby?" I decided not to answer her because I didn't know and I didn't want to tell her that. An eternity later, well, a few minutes probably, my dad walked out of the swinging double doors with his face buried in his hands. My mom was linking her arms with his and had her face covered, too. The same doctor who took them was walking behind then resting his hands on their shoulders. I knew what was coming, and all I could think about was how I was missing school. Claire got up and ran towards my mom and wrapped herself around her legs.
"Dad?"
"Not now, Chris." He took my mom in his arms while she continued to cry. Claire looked up at me and I didn't know what to say to her. I took her in my arms the way my dad was holding my mom.
"Betty! Oh, Betty!" A loud voice came through the sliding doors of the emergency room screaming my moms name. My mom didn't even look up. It was my best friends mom, who was also my moms best friend.
"Hi Mrs. Goodwin." I looked up a her from holding Claire. She gave me a funny look and then I realized why. Everyone was crying, my parents, Claire, and Mrs. Goodwin. But I wasn't. My eyes were dry as dirt. I tried to cry, I truly did. But I couldn't.
"Christopher, I heard. I am so sorry." Mrs. Goodwin hugged me and Claire and she whispered in my ear, "Does Claire know?" I shook my head and she turned away towards my parents.
"Where's Erik?" Erik was my best friend since I could remember. We had done everything together, from getting our diapers changed next to each other to playing Little League Football.
She answered quickly, "He's at school, sweetie. He will be over afterwards." I went and sat in the chain that had practically become mine and waited for my parents. My dad looked over at me just sitting there and shook his head as if he was disappointed.
That's when the tears came. I stood up and walked out the door of the emergency room. I turned left out onto the street and started a slow jog, tears were pouring from my ears now. And they weren't because of Robby. I started sprinting towards my house then took a sharp right into the woods. I tripped and rolled down a small hill hitting rocks on my cast. It hurt a lot but I got up and kept sprinting, straight towards the creek where me and Erik and two of our friends had built a tree house. It was our safe-haven, our place to be away from everyone. I took two rungs at a time up the later, tears still falling. I crawled into a corner of the unstable structure, tucked my knees into my chest and started shaking and rocking back and forth. My breathing was irregular but I couldn't stop crying. I heard footsteps in the fallen leaves and tried to stay quiet. The steps started climbing the ladder and open the hatch into the tree house. It was Erik.
"Knew I'd find ya here." He came and sat next to me. I didn't even have to ask how he knew what happened. "The principal called me down to the office and told me you were in an accident. I asked him to leave and he told me to wait for my mom. I told the dipshit she was at the hospital and that I would walk home 'cause I needed the fresh air. He agreed and let me go and I knew you wouldn't be at the hospital or at home. And here ya are." She put his arm around my shoulders and I stopped shaking so much.
"Thanks, buddy. Do Steve and Connor know?"
"Nah, I just left. I couldn't let you sit here alone. You're crying."
I tried to tell him it was because Robby had died. But that wasn't it. Or maybe it was. I just don't know. I was angry. I was upset. I was hurt. I was alone. But most of all, I was a disappointment. The look my dad gave me at the hospital told me that he wished it were me. I told Erik this and he disagreed. He told me my dad loved me and that it's not my fault. But I told we only took that road because he had to drive me to school. I stopped cry and let my legs down away from my chest. We decided I should probably go home so my parents wouldn't worry about me, even though I insisted they wouldn't notice I was gone.
We walked the two miles back to my house and there were a bunch of cars parked outside of the house. I walked in and looked around for my parents. Erik asked his mom where they were and she pointed towards the room where we kept the TV and couch. They were sitting down on the couch with Claire, so I decided I would go in and told Erik to wait a minute. A floor board creaked and they all turned around.
My dad stood up quickly, he looked angry, "Where the hell have you been?"
"I was at the tree house. I needed time to think."
"Sit down." I sat down next to my mom, even though I didn't know why I had to be here. Were we actually trying to be a family? I didn't know what that was like, I had no idea, "Now is the time to be with your family."
I stood up and looked him straight in the eye, "What kind of family is this? It revolves around Robby!" My mom burst into more tears, "I have a broken arm, have you noticed? I have a massive blue thing holding me together. No one cared to find out where I was just now! No one cared to find out what happened to me in the hospital! Isn't a family supposed to be about love? I don't even know what love is! But of course, no one has even cared to tell me what happened to Robby. I just had to assume. What a family!" I walked out of the room, right through a crowd of people staring at me and onto the front porch where I sat a started crying again.
Erik came and sat with me again, "I heard what you said. They do love you."
"Really? Then where are they right now? I don't see anyone besides you making sure I'm okay, again. I could be out here trying to commit suicide, and who would know?"
"Chris. Robby just, well, he just bonded with your dad better, that's all. They love you just as much as they love him. Don't ever forget that." He wrapped his arm around me and I collapsed. I guess part of me really felt that Robby was the one holding this family together and now that he was gone it was over.
Me and Erik sat on the stairs until his mom told him it was time to go. We asked if he could spend the night but she said I needed my rest. I guess I agreed. At least it was Friday tomorrow. Then me and Erik could have some fun.
I woke up at the usual time the next morning, and stuck with my usual routine. When I went downstairs for breakfast, the lights were still off and no one was in the kitchen. I wondered what everyone was still doing asleep. I shrugged it off and grabbed myself a piece of toast and munched on it at the kitchen table. I waited for my family to come down and go through their usual routine, but they never did. It was getting late and I was worried I was going to be late for school. I walked up to Robby's room to find it empty. I checked the bathroom and there was no sign of him anywhere. I decided to check the couch downstairs since he liked to sleep down there on the weekends so he wouldn't wake us up when he came back late. He wasn't there either. It was a school night; he wouldn't have stayed somewhere else.
My dad came downstairs finally, "What the hell are you doing running around this house?"
"I'm gonna be late for school."
"You aren't going to school today, no one is leaving this house." I think my dad thought I was confused because he decided to elaborate, "We all need to spend time together."
"But why? I need to go to school!"
"Are you kidding? Were you not here yesterday? Look at your arm!" Then it hit me, my arm was broken. Robby wasn't here. He wasn't ever going to be here. I sat down at the table and looked down at my faded jeans. Life without Robby. How could that even be possible? I don't have a brother anymore, I thought. My dad went back upstairs with his head hanging low. I rested my head on the table and I guess I fell asleep there because I had a horrible dream.
I dreamt that I was driving in Robby's truck but no one was in the driver's seat, it was just me in the passenger's side. I started to panic because I didn't know how to drive and even if I did I couldn't move. I was frozen sitting in the seat. I saw a car coming straight at me and started screaming, and I guess I was screaming out loud because my mom woke me up before the car hit me.
"Sweetie, why don't you go back up to your room and sleep?" She helped me stand and walked me up to my room. I took my jeans and tee-shirt off and crawled into bed. I didn't want to sleep again because I was afraid of another nightmare.
The phone rang downstairs and I heard my mom answer it, "Hello?" She continued to tell the person on the phone about what happened yesterday, but before she could finish, she started crying. I jumped out of bed and ran downstairs. I took the phone from her, apologized to the person and hung it up. My mom was sitting on the floor of the kitchen crying, I had no idea that to do. I sat down next to her and put my arm around her like Erik had down for me. She rested he head on my shoulder and the crying slowed down.
Erik came over after school, with Steve and Connor. I really appreciated that. Our moms talked for a while and we went to the tree house by the creek. Nobody really said much, I guess they thought I was too upset to talk to anyone. Sure, I was upset, but not too upset to have some fun with my buddies.
"How was school?" I didn't know what to say to get them to talk to me.
"It was school. Everyone was asking about you, though." Steve spoke up.
"We told them we didn't know 'cause we didn't want to spread it around. We weren't sure if you would want everyone to know." I was happy that Erik said that because he was right. I didn't want everyone to know. I needed something to get my mind off of yesterday, and this just wasn't doing it.
"Let's go on an adventure. A hike, a climb, a camping trip, something. I am sick of sitting here moping around. I need to clear my mind." They looked around at each other, they must have thought I was crazy. "I'm serious."
"I'm in!" I knew I could always count of Erik to have my back. "You guys in?" Steve and Connor exchanged looks and nodded enthusiastically.
I needed to come up with something awesome. We had all weekend for this, so it had to be big. There was a big forest covering a mountain in the next town over where supposedly a man parachuting landed and they could never find him. That sounded like fun to me. I suggested to the boys that we go find the man and they seemed a little skeptical.
"I don't know, Chris. My mom's gonna get worried about me." Steve was quite the mama's boy, it was hard for us to get him to even sneak away to the tree house sometimes. I took a cigarette out and lit it, forgetting how long it had been since my last one. Steve really hated that me and Erik smoked, but I always told him it wasn't anything bad. He was a tubby little kid who didn't like doing things his parents didn't know about. He wore these goofy looking shoes and his clothes looked like something out of his dad's closet.
"C'mon, Stevey! It's a once in a life time opportunity!" Erik elbowed him.
"Alright, fine. But we have to organize!" Steve would try and ruin something this awesome with his girl-scout-like ideas.
"Connor?" We all looked at him intensely hoping it would force him to say yes.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm in. But if Susie Girl Scout here gets on my nerves, I'm out." We all laughed, well except Steve, but he knew it was a joke. Connor adjusted his thick rimmed glasses. He always had the funniest clothes. Today he was wearing a Hawaiian print button up with a pair of denim cut-off shorts and sneakers. He stood out like a sore thumb in our little town. Everyone looked the same, except Connor. Some people thought it was because his dad left and his mom was never around so he lived with his crazy uncle on the edge of town. We didn't care either way, he was our best friend.
"Organize us, mommy." Erik looked over at Steve who was retying a shoe lace.
"Ok, well, we need a map so we know where we are going. I don't want to get lost. We need food and water, and something for safety. Things to sleep in and definitely some money."
"I can get the map." I knew there was no such thing as a map of this mountain but I was sure I was the only one who could draw a convincing enough fake map for him.
"My uncle doesn't eat much of the food we've got. I'll take some of it in my pack."
"Dad's got a gun. But I don't think I should bring it." Erik looked at my slyly. I could tell he was going to bring it, he just didn't want to scare Steve.
"Don't bring a gun, you idiot. I can bring some canteens and we should all bring our own sleeping bags and money."
"Sounds good, Susie." Connor stood up, "Meet back here in an hour. Tell your parents your camping out in my uncles backyard." We climbed down the tree house and went our separate ways.