Hi readers, one key face in this story is important, you need to forget about the books version of what happens to the Earth, OK.
Chapter 2 – Super Nova
Rimmer stopped screaming, he didn't really know why he was anymore. It didn't hurt and if anything it was kind of fun. However, he was still mad at Lister, but even this slipped away as the wonder of the universe unfolded around him. It seemed impossible that he could travel so far and so fast. As quickly has he seen one star or planet come into view it was gone. He guessed that he had been travelling for only a short time and wondered how long it would take to reach his destination, he was about to find out.
Just as quickly as he had accelerated he stopped. His normal form was returned to him and he stood inside a room not to dissimilar to the one he had just left. He began his full double arm Rimmer salute but soon realised he was alone. He looked about, no one looked home. 'Great I travel over three million light years and no ones home!'thought Rimmer.
"Hello, anyone there?" he called but only the faint echo of his nasally tone returned.
He walked over to the door and before he even pressed the release it slid open. He peered out and decided it was safe to investigate, at least for now.
Further down the corridor he came across a large glass window to open space. He glanced out at the stars and squinted at the big white ball that was the sun. However even to this failed astro navigation exam sitter, Rimmer knew something about the sun didn't look right. It looked smaller than he remembered. True Io was a long way from Earth but it should have been bigger, he was sure of that. If Kryten had been right this was his systems sun, when he left it was massive, every time you left space dock it was there. He looked out again searching the vista, but then realised that something else was a miss. 'Were the smeg was the Earth?'
He strained to see beyond the confines of the window but still he saw no sign. 'Hang on a sec, of course, it's on the other side of the ship.' He thought and left the window to continue down the corridor hoping to find another window on the other side to confirm his theory.
No windows later he came across a large room with a sign above the door.
'Greetings traveller to Earth space'
'Funny.'Thought Rimmer, why not say welcome to earth. He walked under the sign and into the room. A row of chairs were laid out in a cinema fashion and in front of them a screen stood blank. As he approached the chairs and a voice called out from some hidden speaker system.
'Welcome to earth space, please take a seat and wait for the short presentation to begin and concerns or questions you might have will hopefully be answered soon.' Said the low monotone of the automated message.
Rimmer shuffled over to the nearest chair and sat down. Almost at once the screen flared into life and a short film began. A huge image of Earth filmed from space filled the screen and the intro began.
'Earth, home to man and woman kind for millions of years. We have searched the stars for eons and no other planet has been found with such rich life. Truly our home planet is like no other and we must save it….'
'Save it, that doesn't sound good.'Thought Rimmer
'…that is why plan tow-away was put into action. In the year 4560 we found out that our sun was dieing and there was little hope that it would continue to support life on our planet. Since we had determined that life outside the earth was pretty much a no show we have decided to take the Earth with us on a mission to a new sun in a new Galaxy.'
"WHAT that's impossible!" snorted Rimmer.
The voice continued now showing a scene with what looked like a huge metal frame that had surrounded the earth and as he watched hundreds of thousands of engines had begun to flare into life.
"Dear traveller, we have left this station as a beacon so that any deep space vessels returning will know what happened and how to find us. You should be in little danger unless the sun of course has reached its critical stage and is about to go super nova..."
Rimmer gulped at this statement, he racked his slow mind, thinking of his basic science classes at school, how did he know when it was going super nova, what did it look like?
The voice continued.
"The station will alert you to this situation and therefore allow you time to make your final preparations before certain death. Once again we welcome you to Earth space and hope you enjoy your time here."
The voice finished and the video began to show a series of images from Earths vistas while playing some gentle music.
Rimmer sighed, he had not wanted to travel to here but now that he was here he was disappointed, for one what was he going to tell Lister. "Hey Listy, you know your home world, its moved." How the smeg would that sound.
He moved to the edge of the room where a series of computer screens displayed information on the system, he scanned down them not really taking in much notice but stopped when he reached the one on the suns critical mass.
Sol, Sun : Critical mass = 8.9 x Earths mass
Rimmer thought hard 'hang on a sec that didn't sound right, should it not of been that heavy.'
Rimmer didn't have time to ponder the fact any longer as he became aware that the room was fading. 'Now what!' thought Rimmer irritably?
Rimmer popped back into existence aboard the Delta-Seven. His eyes slowly adjusted to the gloom around him and soon he saw the familiar grin of David Lister.
"Lister you total and utter git, what the smeg did you do that for. I could have been in real danger." Said Rimmer glaring at Lister.
"Yeah, but you weren't or rather haven't been have you, because you're back and OK right?" said Lister excitedly.
"Yes no thanks to you!" said Rimmer.
Lister looked impatiently at Rimmer. "Well?" he asked.
"Well what?" returned Rimmer.
"Well is there still a kebabie on the corner of Edgware Road?" asked Lister.
"What? Lister I travelled god knows how many billion of light miles and you want to know if you can still get hold of a meal made up of mangy horse meat." Said Rimmer.
"Well, it doesn't have to be that one, it could be anyone really, Its just been 3 million years since I have had a decent kebab." Sighed Lister.
"Well I'm sorry to tell you there are no Kebabies." Said Rimmer glaring at him.
"What none where you went, or none as in no more ever." Said the shocked looking Lister.
"Lister, I don't really care about your smegging kebab, what I am going to tell you is far more important." Said Rimmer flaring is nostrils at his distaste for Listers petty enquiry.
The room went silent, Lister looked at him his big eyes clearly waiting for news. Then before Rimmer could continue Kryten spoke.
"It's moved!" he said having read some of the onscreen report.
Rimmer span around and glared at Kryten, daggers shooting from his eyes. "Thank you captain bog bot, for once again delivering key sole destroying news."
Kryten looked guilty. "But sir, isn't that what you where about to say?"
Rimmer looked pained. "Well yes, but I was going to do it differently." He said thinking to himself that he was going to spin this out for weeks, making Lister guess and driving him bonkers. What else was there to do around here?
"What do you mean moved?" questioned Lister.
"It's gone Listy, moved, packed its bags and waved goodbye to the solar system." Said Rimmer waving goodbye to one fist as he moved it away from his waving hand to illustrate.
"It can't just go, can it?" he asked.
"According to this data file that was attached to the returned Mr Rimmer the Earth was moved to save it from the dieing sun." said Kryten.
"Where?" asked Lister.
Kryten speed scanned the file, his head wildly moving back and fourth. "Arrhh here we are, to sector 576455632456533567 A 334566422445565 B." finished Kryten.
"Where the smeg is that, it sounds a long way away." Said Lister sounding disappointed once more.
"I am not sure, but according to the computer it should be possible to make a holo connection to the new Earth location." Said Kryten looking up from the file.
"Oh no you don't Lister, I am not going on any more light travel adventures today matey." Said Rimmer backing away.
"Come on man, it's safe, you were fine weren't you?" asked Lister.
"Safe! You call beaming in to an unknown location and finding god knows what at the other end, if indeed there is another end this time. The last trip took me back to a sun that was going to go super nova." Asserted Rimmer.
"Oh." Said Lister.
"Oh indeedee." Replied Rimmer then walking over to stand in front of Lister he said. "Look Listy, I know how much this means to you, but who knows what we would find and if they or whoever would even want to know David Lister anymore."
With that Rimmer walked out and returned to Red Dwarf leaving Lister looking at Kryten.
"Kryten, you said that the crew of this ship could transfer using this system, they can't have all been dead, it's not a Holo ship right?" said Lister.
"Quite so sir, if it was we would not be standing here. Let me see." Kryten tapped at the screen and after a few moments looked up.
"I believe they used a mind link to a remote hologram project system. Thereby making it possible for them to travel using the system to see distant family or attend important briefings." Said Kryten who watched the expression on Listers face change to a grin as he broke the news.
"Oh know sir, we have no idea if it still works, it might lobotomise you or at worse kill you." Said Kryten looking worried.
"Kryten, I need to know, this might be my only way of finding out what happened to my home." Pleaded Lister.
"Sir, you realise this might not work." Said Kryten.
"And do you realise this might be the first kebab I have smelt in 3 million years." Drooled Lister.
"I must protest sir, it is fool hardy to attempt this." Said Kryten.
"Call me captain fool and hook me up Kryters, this smeggers going home." Said Lister excitedly rubbing his hands together.
For the science buffs out there, yes I know our sun is more likely to run into a Red Giant than go super nova but that does not really sound as bad, so I have used that fan fic writers licence here.
Next time: Lister goes back to earth, only it's not all as future tech and strangely evolved people as he expected.