Eren froze, and all heads turned slowly towards the black haired teen.

Mikasa. Mikasa didn't know him. Him. The person she had untiring devotion towards. How could that even be possible?

Before they could respond, Sasha burst into the room, her hair bobbing in the air with enthusiasm. "Mikasa! You're okay! Thank goodness! Hey, Connie, Jean, Krista! She's awake!" She hollered. Levi grimaced, and after noticing everyone's countenance, her smile deteriorated.

Eren blew up. "What the hell do you mean, 'who's Eren'?!" he screamed, appalled and horrified and confused at the comment. He didn't even register Sasha's gasp.

"Jaeger," Levi cautioned, but the boy didn't hear him. He was too busy pouring out questions that no one could comprehend because he was speaking too quickly.

Then Mikasa started to cry, which alone proved that hell had frozen over. "I don't...I don't remember anything..." she shivered, and Eren wanted to hug her and comfort her, but he was too broken to work his legs.

"Ackerman..." said Levi, approaching her. "You are a soldier in the Survey Corps, you fight Titans, you're two best friends are Armin Arlert and Eren Jaeger, that brat shitting his pants over there. You were injured in our last expedition...I'm your commanding officer, Levi..."

The tears continued to pour. "I don't...I remember your faces...but..." Eren took a step towards her again, and she looked at him with all the hate and malice she could muster. "...get...away..."

"Mikasa..." he whispered, voice cracking. How could she not remember him?

"I said, GET AWAY!" she screeched again, her voice foreign and loud. Then Levi was pulling his denial fused form out of the room, through the shocked faces of those who had arrived at some point in the chaos.

Eren had never felt so lost before. At least when his mother had died, he'd had Mikasa. But now without her, he felt alone, and confused, and really, really, hurt.

She didn't know who he was.

Mikasa.

That someone he could always rely on, that someone who cared about him more than anyone, hated his guts for unknown reasons.

Shit. How could he function without her? How could she function without him? Armin had told him how recklessly she'd acted when he'd been eaten. That she'd practically committed suicide.

But this girl seemed to care less if he died and went to hell.

Levi threw him against the wall, snapping him back to reality.

He hadn't realized he was practically rage-quitting and crying at the same time, nose running slightly and eyes burning.

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't fucking apologize. Just stop it. She just needs some space to figure things out."

Eren met his superior's eyes. Could the unemotional bastard actually be worrying about Mikasa too? Then again, she was the only one who came close to beating him in a brawl, the only one who matched his strength. She probably reminded him of Petra.

Then the words hit him. "You...you think she's going to stay like that? Without her memory?"

Levi frowned. "...I don't think so. Sometimes after a traumatic event, a person's brain will take over and block out anything...or anyone...involved. Mikasa just watched as her boyfriend, her brother, whatever you two freaks are, beat the shit out of her and tried to kill her. If that's the last thing she saw, along with all the bullshit you've put her through, how would you expect her to react?"

"But...it will go away."

"...we'll have to see..."

We'll have to see. Could he really survive that long?

No one spoke that night at dinner. Mikasa, bedridden, had not joined them this evening, and the empty chair beside Eren haunted him like a wraith toying with his fate.

Eren couldn't eat, and as he gave his helpings to Sasha, he could feel all eyes on him, watching, waiting for his next melt down. It pissed him off.

"Where's Jean?" asked Connie, breaking the silence. He motioned to the other empty chair at the table.

"Where do you think, brat?" answered Levi harshly, swishing his glass of water in boredom.

Eren balled his fists but said nothing.

He bet Jean was just ecstatic. Mikasa didn't remember any of them, Eren was out of the picture, and Horseface had a fresh start with her. Not that she'd fall for the guy. That jerk still didn't stand a chance.

Eren wrinkled his nose, twirling the fork in his hands. Why did he care about Jean so much? He was just giving Mikasa her meal. She needed to eat, so he was delivering her food. Nothing else. And so what if there was more? So what, if Mikasa talked to him, and not Eren? So what if she had a conversation with the him, but refused to look Eren in the eye? So what if she smiled at what he said, or even laughed at his humorless jokes? So what if she ended up falling in love –

"Eren!" Armin exclaimed, and Eren snapped out of his stupor.

"What?"

The blond stared at him, worry etched into his face. "You're bleeding!"

Eren glanced down at his left hand, raising his eyebrows at the fork jammed into his thumb. Blood leaked out around the wound, but he could feel no pain. He felt nothing.

When Mikasa saw the boy standing over her, his face, his eyes, she felt like she had fallen over a ledge and into a sea of fear. She didn't know him, but she did. The images raced across her vision as she drowned in the hate of his irises, the pain, the words, the raging titan form. She didn't know how that was possible, that he was a titan, but she had a strong hunch that she owed her injuries to him.

Her heart raced with fear, and as more people poured into the room, pieces started coming together, slowly. The boy screamed at her, and her fear resurged, followed by anger. He was dangerous. He had hurt her. And he probably wanted to again.

Before he could, the short man dragged him out of the room, kicking and screaming like a child.

After the noise died down, the woman—Hanji—suffocated her with questions, all of which she had little or no answers to. She knew that the information she gave her was correct; it fit into her brain like missing puzzle pieces. But it was only the frame of the puzzle, and the inside was left bare, without a picture.

The group of somewhat familiar faces left, and she was given time to rest.

More like time to cry.

Where her mind had been over the past couple days was a place she never wanted to return to. It scared her to close her eyes, for the dread of slipping back into that hazy state—that isolation—clenched her heart like a titan's fist. And she just so happened to know what that felt like.

Hanji had tried to explain to her that Eren wasn't a bad guy, and that she and him had actually been extremely close, but it just made her more confused, angrier at the entire situation, so the woman had dropped it.

Mikasa hated that boy...even if he hadn't done anything wrong.

In her dreams, he had hurt her; he had tried to kill her. He'd even stabbed two men repeatedly in front of her, too vivid to possibly be a figment of her imagination. He had murdered people – probably people she knew – right in front of her. She could still smell the blood, and her mind asked her body for permission to shut it out. It was too much.

Just the thought of him made her want to run away.

The next morning a bundle of blond hair entered and sat by her side, holding a book.

"Mikasa..." he said softly.

Images flashed, danced, and swam. Yellow hair and smiles, curiosity and determination. Tender touches and sympathy.

"...Armin?" she gambled, unsure.

The boy broke into a smile. "You remember! That's good. But you look paler than usual. Do you want something to eat?"

She shook her head. How could she eat knowing she'd lost her memories?

He sighed with understanding, settling his eyes on hers. "Do you want me to tell you about yourself?"

Her eyes widened a little. "Do you know me well?"

He looked a little hurt at that comment, but he brushed it off. "I know too much, to be honest..." He scooted closer in the chair. "Let's see...your name is Mikasa Ackerman. I met you when we were only nine, back when we lived in the outer wall. You had been living with Eren for about a year—"

She flinched at the name, and her eyes narrowed. Armin was a friend to that monster?

He backtracked. "Let's just use a code name for him, alright? How about, Dumbass? It seems fitting."

Her glare didn't falter. He sighed.

"I know you're confused about what to feel towards him, and I know you won't believe me when I tell you this, but before all of this happened, you two were attached at the hip. You cared about him more than anyone in the entire world. You guys were like family..."

What? To that beast? The "family" that tried to kill her? Yeah. Okay.

But this boy was kind. His features were kind, and his aura was kind. He gave off an essence of intelligence as well, and she liked him immediately. She could trust him. Except maybe that last part.

"Dumbass sounds good...go on…"

"So then, Dumbass decided to finally join the military, and we followed him..."

"Why? Why would we follow him? Did he force us?"

"NO, Mikasa. He was our friend. He is our friend."

"He's not my friend," she hissed, and Armin paled.

Eren's shoulders sagged a little more. He'd been listening…okay, eavesdropping…on their conversation, sitting just outside the door. Mikasa really didn't remember him. She seemed a little conflicted, which was a sign of hope, but she still hated him. She couldn't even say his fucking name!

"Anyway…Dumbass really wanted to avenge his mother's death, and it had been his dream to join the Recon Corps. But that's not the true reason he joined…" Armin shrugged. "He wanted to see the outside world, beyond the walls. I think fighting was just his way of reaching that goal."

Mikasa was silent. Contemplative, perhaps? Eren pressed his forehead into the wall, straining his ears.

"He told us he wanted to see the ocean once, Mikasa. Do you remember? He wanted to take us to the sea, the giant —"

"—body of salt water. I remember that…" she whispered.

Eren gasped, shifting his posture excitedly. But the floor creaked noisily and the room grew eerily silent.

He swore silently, and he tried to control his rapid breaths.

"It's probably just rats," said Armin, and Eren could tell the change of octave in his voice. Could it be amusement, maybe? No doubt he knew he was there, listening to every word he said.

"…How did I get here, in this bed, Armin?"

Silence.

"No one seems to want to tell me, but I know he did it."

"Mikasa...I..."

"Hey, Eren!" said a terribly loud voice behind him, causing him to freeze with dread. "How long have you been standing there? Are you waiting to speak with Mikasa?"

He felt like strangling Hanji right then and there. He gave the woman a death glare, and she blinked at him in surprise, backing away quickly.

The room had gotten silent again, and he knew he was busted.

"…Is that what this is, Armin? Are you just trying to make him sound like some kind of hero? Are you just doing him a favor and telling me lies about our childhood while he waits outside and hides?"

"What? Mikasa how could you say that?"

"I knew he was the one. He was the one who did this to me, and yet you're his friend! How could you be his friend?! He's a monster!"

"Mikasa you don't understand, he was a titan when he did that to you—"

"Armin."

"He didn't know what he was doing! He —"

"Just...please go away. I don't want to see anyone right now."

Armin's eyes grew damp, but he complied with her wishes and left the room. He looked sadly at Eren, who was slumped against the wall, curled into himself.

That night Eren was jolted awake by a scream.

Mikasa.

He knew that scream anywhere, which was strange, considering he was pretty positive he'd never heard it before.

He darted down the hallway and barged into her room, only to slide to a haphazard stop in his socks. She was crying, hard. The tears glistened off her face, and he hadn't seen her like that since the early days after her parents died.

And Jean was already there, comforting her in an embrace as she shook against his chest.

Replaced. He'd been replaced.

Eren used to make her feel better when she had nightmares. He'd hold her until she stopped sniffling, and they'd fall asleep in each other's arms. At first it was more like toleration, and he'd reluctantly-only-not-really share his bed. Anything not to see her cry. But when the nightmares began to haunt him as well, they became each other's pillows, each other's defenses against the visions. She'd grown so used to sleeping in his bed that when they joined the military, they'd both struggled to sleep without one kicking another or snoring in the other's ear.

He used to be the one to wipe away her tears.

Now he was most likely the source of her bad dreams, not the cure.

And as he stood there, heart hollow and cracked, Mikasa didn't even register his presence.

"From her most recent tests, it looks as though her memory has improved greatly. She remembers all of our names, her time as a trainee, and the reasons behind the last few expeditions. Physically, her injuries are healing at a rapid rate, and she has regained most of her appetite. Overall, she's doing a lot better—"

"How can you say that?!" Eren barked. The room quieted at his outburst. "She still doesn't remember anything about me, or us, or what we've been through!"

Hanji stared at him with pained eyes. The rest of the people in the room shifted uncomfortably. "I know, Eren. I know this must be difficult."

"Difficult?! She hates me, Hanji!" his voice radiated his agony, but he couldn't hide it. The pain was in his eyes, in the dark circles beneath them. "She hates me..."

Out of nowhere Sasha seemed to materialize, hugging him from behind. He tried to glare at her, but failed, and resigned to her touch.

"She doesn't hate you, Eren. I promise."

He didn't pull away. He just closed his eyes, begging for this terrible event to go away.

Hanji cleared her throat. "Mikasa's brain has blocked out all of the terrible events in her life. In that process, her memories of you have become warped by her unconsciousness fighting back. It's like memory soup, Eren. There are too many ingredients that separating them into their natural elements is a long, trying process. All I can tell you is that creating familiar environments can help people with amnesia remember a great deal of things. You and Armin have been doing all that you can. The rest is up to her."

Here goes nothing.

"Hey…" he said, awkwardly. Rarely had things ever been awkward around Mikasa. She'd known how to drop a subject and he'd known how to forget it. But…was this how it would be from now on? That thought made Eren visibly cringe.

She didn't respond, regarding him instead with critical eyes.

He sat down on a chair at the other end of the room, opposite of her. Her spine was still rigid and her body alert, but she didn't scream at him or tell him to leave. That seemed like a good sign.

"How…how are you feeling?"

She shrugged. "Better."

He nodded. "That's…good." His eyes flickered suddenly to her stomach. Please tell me you haven't been doing crunches…the old Mikasa would be worried sick about her strength.

"Jean told me that you saved my life."

Eren looked up, incredulous. The hell? Why would Jean do that?

"I…well, yeah. Only a couple times." His voice was raw, uncertain.

She narrowed her eyes. "He also told me you tried to kill me, twice."

Yeah okay. That sounds more accurate.

"Mikasa…the only times I ever hurt you-"

"So it's true then. You did try to kill me. I knew it."

"Mikasa, you've got it all wrong. Just listen for a second!"

"No." Her voice softened, and she almost sounded like herself. "I...I think we're done here."

Eren opened his mouth and then closed it. How could he possibly make her understand? He didn't deserve her forgiveness, but he wanted it. He wanted it so, so badly.

The old Mikasa would have forgotten about it already. She would be scolding him for not eating all of his dinner, or prompting him to be more careful. But was that just because she was blinded by her affection for him? Was this fearfulness how she always felt about him, underneath the façade? He'd never really talked to her about the first time he'd hurt her in his titan form. It'd been too painful to bring up. Maybe she really was afraid of him.

A tear rolled down her cheek, and he stiffened. "I'm sorry," he said. It was all he could say that could sum up how he felt. He knew it wasn't enough.

She didn't look at him, or even seem to hear him.

It was no use. He'd lost her.

He got up to leave. "I wish I could make you see things the way they were. I wish I could help you remember…" he said. He was on the edge of another breakdown; it was evident in his voice.

"…Maybe I don't want to remember."

Eren collapsed onto the mattress and buried his face into the pillow. He cursed until his voice ran hoarse, and when he needed to breathe, he rolled onto his back, staring at the wooden ceiling. God dammit.

He was falling apart without her.

He couldn't fucking focus on any of the training. He couldn't transform, and he couldn't use his 3D gear. Levi had practically killed him at combat practice. All he could think about was her. And everyone knew it.

Jean walked into the room, and hatred bubbled in Eren's stomach. "I fucking hate you, you know that?"

Jean shrugged, knowing immediately why Eren was being so rash. "I just told her the truth. Doesn't she deserve to know what you've done to her? How you've hurt her? She's not in that state for no reason, Eren!"

The words hit home, and Eren looked down, eyes going red.

"For three years I've dealt with your crap. I've let the way you treat her slide, because she adored you anyways, and if anyone tried to point out to her what a dick you were, she'd defend you. But you went too far this time, Eren. Every time you get near her, you hurt her in some way. So maybe you should be the one to leave her alone, huh? Did you ever think of that?"

Eren felt hot tears wage war against his eyelids. Jean was right. He should just stay away.

He kicked the tree.

It didn't really help relieve any of his anger. If anything, it boosted it because he was pretty sure he'd just broken his foot.

It was midnight, and he had needed to get away from it all. He needed to figure it all out. Or let it all out. He wasn't sure which.

It was hard not to think about the future. Everyone kept telling him to be patient, to wait for Mikasa to come to, but no one wanted to think about what the end of the road could look like. If she never regained her full memory, would she still even be in the Survey Corps? After all, she joined because of him, so if he was out of the way, would she leave? And if she left to live a peaceful life in the inner walls, would he ever see her again, after all of this ended? Could it even end, without her? She was humanity's second strongest soldier, worth at least a hundred men. Battling the titans without her would be a whole lot harder.

Where would she go? What would she do? He wished he had thought of asking her opinion about things once in a while. He really was a dumbass.

Levi watched Eren roam around the edge of the forest, shouting obscenities and then wiping his eyes. It was pitiful.

But he couldn't say he didn't relate.

Losing his entire squad, his friends, had taken its toll. Others might not be able to tell. They might call him heartless, call him hardened to any form of death. Those might be true to some degree, but he did miss them, and in his own way, he'd grieved his fair share.

He'd felt guilt beyond any other emotion. He knew it was wrong for him to be alive, and for the others to be dead, without even a proper burial. They'd all had family, had loved ones. But he didn't have anyone. He wouldn't hurt anyone other than himself by getting killed.

Yet there was a small comfort in knowing they were dead. At least now, he could be sure they weren't missing or weren't struggling to stay alive. At least they weren't incapacitated, or suffering under the glare of death.

They were, in some ironic sense, safe.

Eren, on the other hand, was losing his best friend in an entirely different, if not worse, kind of way. He had Levi's guilt, and Levi's loss, but the uncertainty was dragging itself out, slowly destroying the boy, like a poisoned arrow.

Levi had always felt a kind of connection with Mikasa. He wasn't sure what it was exactly, but it scared him. The protectiveness he felt when she was in trouble, the ache he felt when she was hurt. It was real. And it was not a good sign.

He couldn't risk losing another person he cared about.

Never again.

And the plot thickens... lol. Leave a review pretty please?