Author's notes;
I've got to say that I'm really surprised by the reviews I've gotten, I didn't expect anyone to really read the story, this is only my first fic! So I really appreciate everyone taking the time to read & review.
And to address some questions, I can confirm that this is a Dan & Blair story, so they will be interacting more, but it will happen slowly. I actually originally had them talk in the first chapter after Serena left, but I decided to cut it out.
I know that some people worry that this is going to be an anti-Serena story, but it's really not. Last chapter Dan and Serena weren't on good terms beforehand, so after the way she acted at the fashion show, it just made things worse, but it won't be like that for long. But things between Dan and Serena will get a bit worse before they get better. Anyway, I hope that you guys continue to enjoy the story!
"Boo!" Noah Shapiro threw his head back and dropped Dan's story on the table, giving up before he even finished the first page.
"But…I...you liked the last story." Dan stumbled.
"The last story wasn't another one of your many verbose diatribes from the point of view of Dylan Hunter." He took his feet off the table and swung round to look down on Dan from across his desk. "I should have known you didn't have it in you to continue with the Claire Carlyle story."
"No, I thought that…was just an exercise." Dan hurriedly tried to explain. "Are you saying I should keep writing about Blair?"
"Humphrey, a good writer recognises when to end a story. Your story from last week? Not even close to being done."
"So, what do I do? I can't just stalk Blair for the rest of my life."
"In that case, maybe I should call up the Yale lit department and tell them to throw away my recommendation letter." Shapiro responded casually, already reaching for the phone.
"No! I…I can write another Blair story. Give me a week and I'll have another chapter finished."
"Humphrey," Shapiro began, but then sighed deeply, "I don't usually advise many budding writers to stalk beautiful, rich teenage girls, but if that's what it takes to make you write at your best, and if you want to be a good writer, then that's what you need to do."
"I can do it." Dan nodded.
Just another story. That's what Dan told himself. He was sure he'd get plenty of material on Monday when Blair would scold a freshman for wearing tights as pants or daring to sit above her on the met steps. Either way, it could wait because Dan was heading to Yale this weekend. A praising letter of recommendation from the acclaimed Noah Shapiro had given Dan confidence, but now, as the hours were ticking down until his interview, the confidence faded. Plus there was the fact that Shapiro was just about spiteful enough and just about drunk enough to call Yale some point down the line and thoroughly destroy any chance Dan has of getting in. That night Dan didn't do any writing, instead he laid out his outfit for the next day and triple checked he had everything he might need for his interview.
He checked everything again the next morning.
"Don't worry, you'll be fine. More than fine. You're the perfect Yale Candidate." Rufus tried to assure him, cutting into one of Dan's discourses, this time about the color of his paper.
"Maybe. But I can't help thinking that Yale is for presidents not Humphrey's."
"As the man who cursed you with the Humphrey moniker-"
"I didn't say cursed, cursed would be cruel."
"-I now feel compelled to give a speech. Daniel, my son, you have near perfect grades, excellent SAT's, more talent than money could ever buy and not to mention a glowing recommendation letter from Noah Shapiro." Rufus finished while adjusting Dan's tie.
"But-"
"After all that you found a but?"
"What if it's not enough? Plus, Shapiro is practically holding that recommendation letter for ransom."
"Why? What does he want?"
"He wants me to write another story on Blair." Dan admitted. Telling him about the first Blair story was strange enough, but Rufus had been pretty angry about Dan 'aiding and abetting' Jenny at the fashion show, so Dan had to come clean about why he was there.
"Blair? I thought that story was just a one-off."
"Yeah, so did I. But Shapiro seems to think that writing about someone I loathe brings out better writing from me than writing about someone I love, so…" Dan waved his hand to finish the sentence.
"Are you sure you really want to do this? I mean, I know she's not your favorite person but Blair is Serena's friend, do you really want to use her that way?" Dan studied Rufus as he spoke, he kept his eyes down rearranging the plates that he had already laid out on the table and Dan knew he was trying very hard to resist another sermon of fatherly advice.
"I've thought about it and…it's not like I'm lying to or betraying anyone, and Serena and I aren't on good times right now, besides no one's going to read it but Shapiro. I write another story on Blair, I keep Shapiro happy, get into Yale, write a best-seller, marry an English-lit graduate and live happily ever after." Dan shrugged, but then smiled victoriously as if he had already achieved all that he had spoken of.
"I see my pep talk worked." Rufus nodded slightly and smiled.
"Right, well, I'm off. Just me, the best English department in America and a hundred other highly competitive, extremely nervous wannabe Yale-y's."
Despite Dan's worst habits that seemed to amplify when he was nervous, the interview went great. His interviewer was the professor who world be teaching a World Literatures module next semester, giving Dan the perfect opportunity to flaunt his knowledge of Russian authors, comparing Tolstoy and Dostoyevsky, even throwing in mentions of Solzhenitsyn and Pasternak, which led to them having a much longer conversation on the socialist realism genre. They then had to rush through talking about Dan's career aspirations and what kind of things Dan liked to write about, which was a relief to Dan as he thought autobiographical narratives would probably be looked down upon by a Yale professor.
He walked out of that building feeling like he was on top of the world, and being the nepotistic boy that he was, felt the urge to call his dad and share the glory. But instead he caught the sight of Serena on the steps of the building opposite. His resentment towards her had worn off and feeling as good as she did, he wanted to share it with someone and Serena seemed like the perfect person. As he made his way other to her, he saw that Serena had already been commandeered – Blair.
Despite the unwelcome intrusion, Dan still felt great and started to feel like he could get his next story for Shapiro done by the end of the day, if he could get some good inspiration. So he edged closer to listen into their conversation.
"The Dean made me realize that by being so set on Brown, I closed myself off the other options." He could make out Serena saying, in a not altogether genuine way.
"Well that's a lovely epiphany, I'm afraid it's irrelevant. It's not as if you'd actually get in here." And with Blair's rebuttal, Dan caught up to speed. It wasn't until that moment that he realized how strange it was that Serena was actually there, at Yale, seeing as when they were together she showed no interest in the college at all.
"Hello?" Serena answered her phone in her saccharine way, that he Dan knew would be torturing Blair. "An intimate gather at the Dean's house tonight? I'd be honored. Thank you."
"You were invited to my gathering?" Dan heard Blair's voice, he had shifted closer to a column to try and stay out of sight, and he could only see her nose poking out from behind her hair.
"You might want to make other plans, she said I was her last call." Serena said gloatingly, then turned her back on Blair and pretended to be doing something on her phone.
"Of all the things," Blair began to say pleadingly, but Serena didn't seem to pay any attention, "Nate, my mom, the girls at school, you wouldn't take this from me. Because if you do, I swear I will take you down."
"I'm not taking anything from you, Blair. I was invited. And as for taking me down, I'd love to see you try." Serena smirked. She would always be stunningly beautiful, but Dan found it extremely unattractive, all the feelings from the fashion show coming back to him. How could this be the same girl he had fallen so madly in love with?
It was enough to cause Blair to storm off too, Dan saw the tears in her eyes as she walked past him and they must have hindered her vision as she didn't seem to notice him there. He cast his eyes up to Serena at the top of the steps, her triumphant smile gone and now replaced with a more pensive expression. He thought about going up to her now and telling her the good news like he had originally planned, but found that he had no real desire to anymore. Instead, he wondered to a nearby bench, pulled out his notebook and wrote down everything that had just happened, from his extreme elation after his interview, to his eavesdropping on yet another Serena and Blair confrontation. He was snapped out of his reverie when he heard Nate's familiar voice. Dan looked up to see him with what looked to be a tour group, waving him over. He had nothing better to do, so why not?
Dan spent the next few hours with Nate, who seemed to have had enough of Chuck's company, and Dan couldn't blame him. However, he soon seemed to tire of Dan's company too and wanted to be alone with the student who had given them the tour. Dan took the hint, and when he get a call inviting him to the dean's house that night – making him realize that Serena had lied earlier to hurt Blair - and he had a decent excuse to leave Nate and his flavor of the week.
Luckily, Dan's hyper-paranoia about being prepared had caused him to pack a casual tux, he hadn't thought he'd need it for a party, but had anticipated that he might spill something down his original outfit. He repeated to himself all the phrases that he thought would sound good to a Yale professor that he hadn't already used in the interview, and felt the familiar terror of the unknown. Then he remembered that Serena would be there too, and despite his last few encounters with her, he felt somewhat comforted.
To his surprise, Serena wasn't the only familiar face there. Blair must have gotten an invite after all, or she somehow schemed her way in, which Dan noted was far more likely. They seemed to be caught in another stronghold, so Dan tried to ignore them most of the night, but every now and then he'd see them either glaring at each other from opposite sides of the room, or quietly quarrelling in a corner.
"Dan, hey." Serena seemed to finally notice he was there and joined him at the drinks table.
"Serena." Dan coldly greeted her, sounding more hard-hearted than he had intended, so he tried to make up for it. "So, Yale, huh?"
"Maybe." Serena smiled. "It's got such a beautiful campus and everyone seems so nice-"
"What about Brown?" Dan wondered who had taken control of his mouth, because he had had no intention of being short with her.
"I haven't ruled out Brown." She replied slowly, only now sensing Dan's hostility. "I just…my mom thought it was important for me to come here and the interview went so well, hey, what about you? You're interview must have gone well considering the fact that you're here."
"So, you came here because Lilly wanted you to?" He said accusingly, ignoring her attempt to change the subject. "Because it looks to me like you're just trying to take something away from Blair."
Serena froze. Dan felt like a dick when he saw her restrained pout forming, but for some reason couldn't drop the attitude.
"I heard you and Blair on the steps today," he began to explain, "you could easily get into Yale if that's what you want, actually, you could easily get into Yale even if you don't want to, but the only thing I can see you actively trying to do is destroy Blair's chances of getting in here."
"That's not what I'm doing, Dan." Serena became more aggressive, but managed to keep here tone down. "She's been trying to ruin my chance here too, I'm just-"
"Trying to stop Blair from getting into the college of her dreams?" Dan interrupted, and Serena's shoulders dropped as she realized that she didn't have a decent response. But she wasn't ready to admit that she was wrong either.
"Just because I haven't wanted this since I was six, doesn't mean I have any less right to be here."
"True. But, like I said, why can't you get into Yale without sabotaging Blair? Afraid of another four years of trying to hold yourself back so you don't outshine her?" He snapped and registration flickered across her eyes as she recognized his choice of words.
Before she could respond, the dean got everyone's attention so that they could begin the quiz. Dan and Serena awkwardly stood next to each other throughout, and she smiled politely at him when he gave his answer, while Blair scowled at them. Dan stopped listening, as did most people in the room, and he began to prepare his apology for Serena, as he waited for the game to end.
"And now on to Miss van der Woodsen. The person you would most like to have dinner with, real or imagined, living or dead, is…Pete Fairman."
Dan tensed up immediately and he felt Serena do the same. He glanced at her to see her smile faltering.
"I do not know this person, who is Pete Fairman?" The dean asked and Dan nervously awaited Serena's response, whilst Blair looked on expectantly.
"Um…he..he's-"
"He's the man she killed." Blair cut in and murmurs immediately spread throughout the room.
"Miss Van der Woodsen, would you care to explain?" The dean asked tentatively.
"Of course, Dean Berube. Um, Pete Fairman was a man that I knew-"
"Man slash dealer." Blair quipped in again.
"He died almost two years ago, when I was with him. What happened was a tragedy and I am filled with regret over it, but I was not responsible-"
"Were you responsible for the sex tape?"
"Blair-"
"It wasn't very sexy if you ask me."
"Blair, that's enough, let's go." Serena ordered, having already closed the distance between the two of them and grabbed her by the arm. "Dean Barube, do you mind if we sort this out privately please?"
"Take all the time you need." He replied and Serena dragged Blair out as she yelled about something, but Dan had stopped listening again.
A few minutes passed and he really wasn't in the mood for mixing with the greatest minds in America anymore. On any other night, Dan might not have felt so bad for laying into Serena, but as the night had turned out to be a rough one for her, he felt pretty guilty about it. He thought about Ivy Week from over a year ago, how he had been mad at Serena and that he had judged her for trying to take Yale from Blair back then too and then how his sympathies shifted as soon as Serena became the victim. Then he thought about all the drama that had happened as a result of Pete Fairman's death and Serena's involvement in it. A lot of negative feelings came back, so when the world lit professor had he met earlier went to introduce him to the director of graduate studies, Dan made up an excuse about feeling ill and left.
He stepped out on to the porch and stopped in his tracks when he saw Blair to his left. She was crouched down, picking up her lipstick and putting it into her purse. She then reached for her headband and Dan noticed that her hair was slightly dishevelled. Clearly she and Serena had not made up.
As she stood up straight she caught sight of him and looked startled for a moment, but quickly covered it up and pursed her lips.
"If you've come to tell me what a despicable person I am for bringing up Pete Fairman, Serena's already given me the lecture and left. So why don't you go run after her?" She said bitingly, her face already scrunched up in disgust.
"Um, I doubt she wants to see me right now." Dan rocked back on his feels lightly. He wanted to talk to Blair, have an actual conversation and not just an exchange of barbs, but that would not be an easy task to achieve.
"Why not?" Blair asked casually as she crossed her arms, but Dan knew she was genuinely curious.
"I uh…I actually, kind of told off in there, earlier. You know, because of…all of this." He didn't know how to explain that he had been defending her to Serena, and much less knew how to gage how she would react. Probably something like the last person she needs to fight her battles is a Brooklyn bumpkin and that he should mind his own business.
"All of what?"
"I heard you and Serena arguing earlier." Dan explained and he saw Blair swallow as she grew more anxious. "I didn't like the way that she was acting…and I let her know."
"You and Serena had a fight over me?" Blair cocked her head to the side and smirked, pretending to enjoy his and Serena's unhappiness.
"Not exactly." Dan shrugged, then stepped out of place and wondered to one of the wicker chairs where he sat down. "It was about her…or who I thought she was."
"The illusion finally shattered, huh? Now you see that Serena is exactly the same as all the other upper east siders that you despise."
"What about you?" Dan changed the subject. "Do you despise Serena now?"
Blair paused. Her arms dropped to her sides as she tried to think of a response, but too much time had passed for her to lie and for it to not be obvious.
"That's what I thought." Dan smiled. "You know, despite how…malicious she seems to be acting, we both know she's not a vindictive person. If you just told her how you really felt and apologised, then she'd forgive you and…it would all go back to normal. Isn't that how it works with you two? You're both awful to each other and then you remember how much you actually mean to each other and all is forgiven?"
"Maybe that's how it's worked in the past, but I don't need Serena. I have my own life and she has hers, and they're not connected anymore." Blair responded, shaking her head dismissively and trying far too hard to sound laissez-faire.
"Come on, could you really imagine your life without Serena in it?" He asked, looking up at her and seeing the resolve on her face. But she remained silent, giving Dan all he needed to know that he had gotten through to her. "Anyway, I should go now. By the way, if you're planning on going back inside, you really should try to fix your hair first."
Dan breezed past her as he gave her the last piece of advice, scared to look at her because he was sure that criticizing her hair was punishable by death to Blair Waldorf. But he only got five feet away from the house when he forgot this fact and looked back, she was still standing there with her arms crossed, but was shifting her weight from foot to foot as she looked down to the ground. He hadn't gone out there with the intention of trying to patch things up between Blair and Serena, he hadn't even thought that one of them might still be out there, but when he saw her reserved devastation, he knew it was what she needed. If he could, he would bet money on them making up within the next twenty-four hours.
His prediction proved right. He wasn't sure exactly what had happened, but when he met up with Nate the next day and got all the details that he didn't want from the night before, from a distance he saw Blair and Serena standing on those same steps they had argued on, now holding hands.
All in all, it had been a good weekend. The interview had been fantastic, and he had done some of his very best schmoozing at the party too, he had gone from feeling insecure to unbearably confident, but knowing him that confidence would soon fade back into self-doubt again pretty soon. He rode out the high while it lasted and, feeling productive, he finished the next story on Blair the night he got home.