Disclaimer in Chapter One.
A/N – Thank you for the reviews and the story alerts. Thanks too to those who stopped by to read.
Something weird happened with chapter one – I had little section breaks which disappeared when I copy/pasted from Word into Document Manager. I apologise if it made the changes of perspective and tone jump a little oddly. Hope this one will be better.
Chapter Two
Alec's class, "Meditating on Glaciers" was a big success. He'd made sure to include the transhumans (though some of the cold blooded ones were meditating on desert island beaches and Christmas by the crackling wood fire) making it clear that with a decent disguise, they'd be welcome – he'd used the word "needed" – on the supply runs too.
The reward for mastering the skill was a condom. They all applied themselves to the task with frightening commitment and a lot of them got to grips with it almost as easily as Alec had.
Max was one of the quickest, having been there when Alec was practising and seen how he'd done it. She was going to forego the reward, but in the end she took it...hell, you never knew and it was better to be prepared. She was a mostly free agent these days, after all.
When she was confident, she spent some time helping Alec to work with the others. Most of them were able to do it, at least for a short time, by the end of that first day. Some were better than others; although the ones with more monkey or bird DNA found it difficult to sit still long enough to meditate. Everyone was going to keep practising though. They all wanted to be able to leave TC now and then. And they all wanted their condom.
They had decided not to train the younger ones immediately. Max knew they were trained soldiers, but she couldn't see them as anything but children and she really didn't want them getting the idea that they'd be going on missions that might be dangerous. She wanted the adults trained first. They'd get TC up to muster with all the supplies they needed, and when Alec had some free time, he'd help the little ones. There was no telling when they might need the skill after all.
Max and Alec were encouraged by the progress. They had at least ten people they could use for away missions in the next couple of days. In fact, toilet paper was running low, so the first went ahead that night.
She'd tried getting through to Clemente, but he wasn't kidding when he'd said it was out of his hands. He wasn't even allowed to take her calls. But then, she was having no luck talking to anyone higher up either. Every time she talked to anyone in authority, they just wanted her to open the gates and surrender. There was no way she was going to do that. But they were refusing to even discuss allowing in supplies.
So, her teams were running missions all over the city. It was the food situation that was toughest, even with rationing. They were young, fit, strong. A lot of them still growing. They had big appetites. They needed to replenish supplies regularly and often. Food was tough to come by in Seattle even for ordinaries, but the transgenics were forced to try to steal huge quantities of food and sneak it all in past a well monitored perimeter.
It was amazing the effect the supply runs had on morale. Everyone felt better knowing there were stocks of food, dry goods and medicine that weren't going to run out immediately. They felt like they had a safety net at least. And getting one over on the ordinaries barricading the perimeter was perhaps even better for their spirits.
It took the panache of a consummate hustler like Alec to steal an entire semi-truck full of food bound for a summit of world leaders in Olympia and drive it past the armed guards and through the gates with nothing but a piece of paper showing the forged signature of the Secretary of State.
Max sent Gem with the baby and Dalton to spin that one as a peaceful demonstration, rather than a breathtakingly shameless act of larceny, for the news crews at the gates. It was the innocent faces of the baby and Dalton (Max congratulated him afterwards on his totally awesome "sad face") on the evening news that prevented the authorities just taking up a helicopter and strafing the entire compound.
They opened the truck to find trays upon trays of canapés, a walk in freezer section with joints of meat and fish, a refrigerated section full of fresh vegetables and delicacies many of them had never even heard of. They were able to hook the truck up to the generator so that they would be able to make a lot of it last for a good long while.
The canapés, and some of the fresh stuff wouldn't last though, so they threw a late "Transgenic Independence Day" party. They toasted to freedom with real champagne. Those who'd been on bodyguard detail to high-ups or done sneaky missions in diplomatic circles back in the day testified to the fact that the big wigs were not scrimping. This was the good stuff.
She wasn't worried about keeping them all together just now, and she wasn't worried about the mutterings she'd heard the first days wondering why she was the one in charge, the girl who'd escaped, left them all behind: What did she know? She hadn't heard those whispers for a couple of weeks now. The relative comfort for the citizens of TC had given her the leeway she needed to get to know people, to work on relationships and build loyalty. They were working together to make Terminal City into a community.
Max's stock was high, and she knew she had Alec to thank for that.
Alec was in a good mood too. His success seemed to have solidified his commitment to the cause. She hadn't said anything to him, but even so, he'd become her de facto Deputy. He had ideas and brought them to her, and they worked them through and she provided the authority to put them into practice. He had her back, and she felt safe and supported. Leadership could have been lonely, but Alec was making it kind of fun.
The supply teams were putting the word out. Lots of them knew someone on the outside sympathetic to their cause, so when transgenics showed up in Seattle having seen on the news that there was a community, albeit under lock down, there were people keeping them in safe houses until the teams could hook up with them and bring them in safely.
Within a month their numbers had doubled to nearly four hundred. Amongst the newbies were the kids Max and Alec had helped to escape to Canada right after the Manticore break out, Fixit, Ralph, Zero, Bullet, and Bugler. Max was kind of sad to see them at first, but Fixit had told her that they had settled in up there, got jobs and all, and it had been fun but they felt they needed to come back and help. Wanted to stand with their comrades and be part of the cause. Well, she couldn't argue with that.
Ralph was helping out a lot, wanted to be her batman, so to speak, and it was kind of like having a little sister again.
What was really weird was that Sam had shown up too. She wasn't staying in TC, she had a husband and kid after all, in fact her place was outside Seattle – It wouldn't do to look like X5-452 within the city limits, but she'd relented as far as blaming Max for everything, and she was helping out here and there, letting transgenics stay in her spare room before they made the skip into the compound, and keeping a weather eye out for transgenic related incidents. Gave Max a hell of a start the day she'd come face to face with herself again.
Alec had snuck Cindy and Sketchy back home after a few days. They had their lives on the outside, and it wasn't safe for them with all the toxins inside TC. She and Cindy were talking on the phone a lot though, and now it was easier for Max to move around outside, she was hooking up with them both now and then at Crash.
Logan was around pretty often, using his press pass to get in and out of the barricades. He'd offered to set up a documentary, Life Among the Transgenics, but she and Alec had discussed it, and they'd agreed it was too risky while emotions were still running so high outside. If it could be guaranteed to create some good will, fantastic, but there was always the possibility of it backfiring, and if that happened they didn't want any more transgenics to be recognisable targets. Logan had suggested blurring out faces, but Alec pointed out that just made them look even more shady.
The project was on the back burner for now, and Max suspected that Logan was feeling a little bent out of shape to have been shut down, especially because she was agreeing with Alec over him. Still, Logan was a decent guy and he was still helping out where he could. As much as anything though, he was just keeping company with them.
He and Max weren't back together exactly. He was a sharp guy and it hadn't taken long for him to figure out that her "thing" with Alec was a smoke screen. If she had to guess, it was the number of times she smacked Alec round the head on any given day that had given her away.
Logan got why she'd done it, even sympathised. Even so, she was pretty sure it was mostly over with him, and she was starting to realise that her feelings were getting more platonic these days. She felt like maybe the virus had had a Pavlovian effect on her: she'd learned not to touch him and so now she didn't really miss not touching him.
She wasn't actively looking for the cure anymore. If it showed up it would be a weight off her mind, but she had other priorities these days.
She wasn't sure about his feelings, was it still the same as when they'd almost had it, or was it just that she was forbidden fruit? Maybe it was worse than that; maybe it was habit.
He'd kind of let her go when he'd thought she and Alec were together, but then they'd held hands at the flag raising and that had muddied up the waters again a little. He was sympathetic to their cause, but he didn't need to be in TC to help them, so she knew he was only there to see her. He wasn't pushing it though, and she wasn't making an issue of it. She was kind of hoping it would fizzle out of its own accord when he found he was needed more elsewhere.
And then there was Alec. They were getting on really well these days. And sometimes she thought there might be more to it. There was definitely chemistry. There was very definitely heat. But she didn't want to ruin their friendship when she wasn't sure of her feelings or his. She'd been on her own a good long while, and she was a strong, independent women, like OC always said. She could look to her own satisfaction; she didn't need to be a notch on any transgenic male's bed post.
Maybe that was unfair though. As far as she knew, Alec hadn't been sleeping around in TC. She certainly hadn't had to break up any cat fights like she had when he was sowing his wild oats back at Jam Pony. Things were more complicated here, and she figured he understood that misunderstandings of the romantic variety could affect morale. If he was going to do anything, she hoped he would only be acting on honest feelings.
Actually that was complete rubbish. The thought of him with another woman filled her with lots of complicated emotions she didn't want to examine too closely. She knew she had no hold on him, no right to an opinion, she just knew that she would feel she'd lost something precious if she discovered he was with someone else.
Still, she had plenty to think about, and that kept her from dwelling too much on romantic complications with any man. Actually, she was happier than she'd been in a long time. She wasn't hiding anymore. She had a mission.
So things were going pretty well considering they'd been locked in a derelict district breathing in a toxic soup and surrounded by a baying mob for more than a month.
Of course there's nothing like hubris to bring on disaster.
It was a routine heist, they weren't expecting trouble. Mole was leading the team of six on a run to the docks where they were planning to intercept a vessel coming in with a few tonnes of frozen fish. Mole wasn't saying anything, but he'd developed some expensive tastes since he'd been out of Manticore. It wasn't just cigars he craved – they were just the easiest things to get and to make last. The second Luke had mentioned fishing vessel, he'd volunteered. He was thinking king prawns. Heck, if he was really lucky, there would be oysters in the catch, and – his mouth watered at the thought – lobster.
The plan was simple, Fran had pinched a yacht from the marina down the bay and she was bringing her in with the intention of appearing like a lost and inebriated tourist in charge of a boat she couldn't control. She'd sail her under engine power to the side of the Mary Sue, close enough to scratch, but not enough to affect her sea-worthiness, then, while the crew was distracted, Luke and Mole would corner and secure them, while Bullet took the helm and Fritz and Cob, having taken control of the winching equipment, would unload what they could carry into the yacht and sail away just as the larger ship reached her berth. Simple.
Or it would have been if the off duty guard hadn't spotted them at just the wrong moment. The winch had to be steadied, and as Fritz reached up to grab the chain, his hood fell back, his snow white hair luminescent in the moonlight. It caught the guard's eye as he passed the pier and they were screwed.
The guard had seen enough on TV and in the papers to know not to approach one of the freaks. He melted into the shadows and called for backup. The coastguard, the port cops and every available dock hand were raised. The transgenics didn't know they'd been spotted until they were surrounded, and then it was too late.
The dockers had had a dull night, two of the vessels they'd been expecting were delayed by fog, and if they wanted to get paid they'd have to stay until there was something to unload. It was cold and there wasn't much to do, so giving some transgenic mutants a good beating would have really improved their night. Unfortunately for them, and security concerns being what they were in a post-pulse world, the port cops and the coast guard were heavily armed with machine guns.
The dockers didn't get their hands on any live transgenics. No, they had to wait until Fritz, Bullet and Cob were riddled with bullets and dead on the ground before they got their chance. Only Mole, Luke and Fran had been able to fight their way out. They made it back to the yacht and could only watch as the men moved in closer, blocking the bodies of their friends from view.
Max was in her office with Logan when Mole's radio report came in moments before what was left of his team made it back. She ran all the way from her office to the new field hospital, leaving Logan in her dust. The breaking news was already on TVs across TC.
She'd heard Mole's radio report, but hadn't seen the footage. Alec had been at Joshua's, which was a little closer and they were already there. They'd seen the news, and Max was glad for a moment she hadn't because Alec's face was white, and he was crouched beside a sobbing Joshua, trying to comfort him.
Luke was unhurt, but both Mole and Fran were wounded, though not seriously. Logan finally caught up as TC's two highest ranking field medics, Cam and Jin took charge of them, ushering them away from the others, to give them space to regroup before having to face questions or concern.
It wasn't long before Jin came out and put their minds at ease. Both Mole and Luke would be ok. They'd been lucky, taking fairly superficial injuries. Fran needed some fluids, but Mole had been stitched up and was fine to head home.
He came out of the exam room and Max was shocked to see his air of defeat. His head was down, shoulders slumped and his walk was more a shuffle. He sensed their presence and looked up, not quite meeting their eyes.
"Max. I'm ready to debrief whenever you want me." His tone was oddly deferential too. She didn't like it at all.
Mole's report was pretty much what she'd pieced together from his radio report and what the others had been saying about the news stories. He was devastated. They hadn't lost anyone since they'd staked TC as their territory and since he'd led the mission, he felt the deaths of his team were his fault, no matter what Max tried to say to the contrary. She walked him back to his place once they were done. She was shocked that he allowed that amount of support, so when he turned at his door and said goodnight she accepted it. He clearly wanted to be alone.
She didn't want to go home yet, so she made her way back to her office, meeting up with Alec outside Joshua's. He'd left Joshua sleeping, worn out from crying. They didn't talk, lost in their own thoughts. Gradually, she became aware of noise coming from the gates out front. She looked to her left and saw that Alec had noticed it too. Without a word, they adjusted their path to head for the commotion.
Max's mouth fell open. Things had been quieter the last couple of weeks, people getting bored with demonstrating outside and getting no reaction from inside, but now, it looked like there were thousands out there. It was a riot. Alec pulled her back as a Molotov sailed over the gate and landed with an explosion yards from their feet. Other transgenics were there too, watching, and the mood was desolate.
Obviously the pictures in the news had done nothing for their cause. Forget that three of their number had been shot dead with no opportunity to give themselves up. Forget that their bodies had been beaten and put on display for the fun of it. The crowd outside figured the freaks had got what was coming to them, and if they had their way, the rest of them would follow tonight.
The news cameras were tracking the protesters and the watching transgenics. She hated to see her own people looking so defeated, but she was glad they weren't reacting with anger. The last thing they needed was to give the news crews pictures of them looking dangerous and frightening. She needed to get them away, back into HQ before any of them accessed their inner berserker and decided to dole out some pain on a suicide mission outside the gate.
It was testament to how lost they were feeling that she barely had to raise her voice before they were trailing her back.
Somehow the word had got around and everyone had gathered in command. Grief stricken, confused faces stared at her, looking to her to answer the questions, why had this happened? Why had it become their fault? And what the hell were they going to do next. She was overwhelmed by the need in their eyes. She had no idea what to say.
All she could do was open her mouth and let them hear whatever came out. She wasn't sure afterwards what she had said. There were phrases like stand strong, hold fast, don't lose hope, stick together. It was all cliché, and it sounded like cotton in her mouth. Dry, tasteless, without nourishment.
She was worried about Alec. He trailed her back to the office and slumped in his chair. His expression was blank and he hadn't spoken. He didn't acknowledge Logan's sympathetic shoulder squeeze. She needed him badly right now, needed him to back her up, to say something to lighten the mood. She guessed maybe she needed to say something to get him to join in.
"It'll be ok, Alec. We won't forget Bullet and Cob and Fritz, but we'll fix this. We'll get back on track. That stuff outside, it'll blow over, they'll lose interest and go home." He looked up at her and she was shocked by the depth of anguish in his eyes.
"You still don't get it do you?" Alec turned his head to glance out of the window, it was easier to talk if he wasn't looking at them.
"We knew what Manticore was doing to us sucked, and I don't know about the others but I knew some of the missions, especially when it was about protecting Manticore's interests, they were dirty work, but we didn't really have a choice about that. So we focused on the stuff we knew was worthwhile. We had years of training, years of being told it was all about loyalty and duty and patriotism.
"We believed that, Max. We weren't evil minions, we were soldiers. Like any other soldier. We were protecting our country. We went on the missions ordinary soldiers wouldn't have been able to. We were protecting them as well as the public.
"That's what pisses me off about all this anti-transgenic stuff. They've got us pinned down in this crap hole, or on the run, or strung up in the street. You didn't see the news tonight Max. You didn't see what they did to them. Our friends."
He couldn't keep his voice from cracking at the thought of what had happened to Biggs and Cece just a few weeks ago, and the three they'd lost tonight, Bullet, Fritz and Cob.
"We risked our lives for these people, some of us died for them. And they're out there with placards, throwing incendiaries, calling us evil freaks and baying for our blood?"
Max was jolted by Alec's outburst. He was right, she hadn't got it before, she'd never thought of it like that. She'd never been sent on a mission by Manticore. She'd been a kid in training until she escaped, then she was a recalcitrant deserter being brought to heel. All she'd ever experienced was boot camp. She'd never been in the field, in a war.
Neither Alec, nor the others she'd spent time with had ever spoken about their missions in her presence. But no wonder they were upset. For her it was anger, and yes, even hurt at being misunderstood, at being labelled a freak. For the others it was about that, but it was also about being betrayed by the very people they'd spent their lives protecting. It was having their dedication, their bravery and sacrifice, their every achievement wiped away.
"Alec, we'll make this right. We'll convince them we're not the threat they think we are. We'll be free again."
"Yeah, we should definitely do that. We should make them feel better." His voice was bitter, monotone. He was sick of it all, and Max couldn't blame him. She crouched by him and put a hand on his arm. He looked down at her hand and she was shocked to see his eyes shining. He was trying to hold back tears.
She worked on keeping her voice gentle, "Tell me, Alec. Tell me about one of your missions." She thought maybe it would help if someone, even another transgenic knew something good he'd done, but he blinked away the emotion and moved out of her grasp. She followed his eyes and realised he was looking over to Logan. Damn, she'd forgotten he was still here. Maybe she'd have got Alec to open up if they were alone, but there was far too much between them for Alec to ever let his guard down around Logan.
"It's not even about... Max, we can get around if we're careful. We can get rid of the barcode, we can run a little colder and we look human. But what about Josh and Mole and all those guys? It's too dangerous for them out there. They're stuck here now, relying on us to get them food and supplies. They're still prisoners.
"When's it gonna happen, Max? We were gonna walk into the light, all of us. We were gonna take our place in the world."
She didn't have an answer. Alec sniffed, and she knew she'd lost him this time. "I gotta blaze." He said, his tone even and clipped. Back under control. And then he was gone from the room.
Alec wasn't one to stay down hearted, and the next morning when she saw him, he was back to his usual self, but she wouldn't forget what he'd said, and more importantly how devastated he'd been. She knew he felt things a lot more deeply than he ever let on, and that was something he shared with a lot of the transgenic population, including her. It was a coping mechanism. It didn't do to assume that just because they looked calm and sounded sanguine, they weren't feeling the pressure, that they weren't frustrated and angry and hurt.
They held a gathering. They didn't have bodies to bury or a church to pray in. Most of them didn't feel that church was something for them anyway. They got together in the square though, and told stories about their three lost friends. They toasted them with the last of the diplomatic scotch.
She thought about saying something at the memorial, trying to rally their morale a little, but it seemed wrong somehow to hijack the day. She couldn't tell them anything new anyway. She didn't have a way to make things better for them. She didn't have any way to get concessions for more supplies. Hell, she couldn't even get them to return the bodies. They were going to have to rein in the sorties - they were on full lock down now, the atmosphere outside so tense that it was just too much of a risk to try to breach the perimeter. They were going to have to dig in and make what they had last until the attention had died down again. She felt claustrophobic, they all did, and anything she said about hanging tough and sticking together and it'll all get better eventually; it would have sounded just as hollow as last time.
Even though it had so little of a traditional funeral about it, they all felt the gravity of it. They'd been able to give a little dignity back to their fallen friends, even if those friends would never know it. Max found it intensely moving. It was the first time she had heard any of their stories from the front line, and she couldn't help thinking back to what Alec had said that night. He was her closest friend these days, the one she relied on most of all and still she knew so little about him.
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