"All fleets! The Crucible is armed. Disengage and head to the rendezvous point."

Kaidan's head was swimming with immuno-boosters and analgesic drugs and, combined with the heavy amounts of medi-gel that was slathered across his torso and limbs, he felt a strange sort of detached euphoria that bordered on delirium. Still, he clearly heard the command as it was being broadcasted throughout the Normandy and he felt panic trying to cut through the mugginess in his mind.

Shepard was still there. Shepard was still at ground-zero, they had to get him back somehow, had to get back to him. He had to get back to him.

All that emerged from his numb mouth was a garbled and throaty grunt as his tongue refused to obey the commands that he was relaying to it. Instead of shouting in his most commanding voice and ordering them to head back and search for Shepard, he could only make pitiful mewling noises as he stared up at the harsh lights of the Normandy's med-bay ceiling. It was an unnerving feeling, crushing despair mixed with a heady sense of bliss and he wondered if the tears that poured down the sides of his face were from the former or the latter.

"I repeat. Disengage and get the hell out of there."

No. The word repeated itself over and over again as he felt the ship tilt slightly as it stalled and reversed its course. They couldn't leave Shepard like that, Kaidan needed to be there, to either carry Shepard home or die together with him. He couldn't live like that again, he couldn't go through what happened after the first Normandy, when Shepard had been taken away from him in another, all-consuming blast.

The instruments that he was attached to continued to beep louder and faster as his heart rate and adrenaline spiked and Kaidan knew that his body was breaking through the haze of drugs and overwhelming him with a sensory overload. He didn't care, in fact deep down he prayed that his heart would just give out and that he'd be able to die and join Shepard wherever it was that fallen heroes went.

Doctor Chakwas appeared at his side, as if Pulled there by biotics, with a worried cast to her proud features as she hastily tapped consoles and calibrated instruments in attempt to get his body back into safer ranges. The new flood managed to wrest away the sharp feelings within him and he felt his head sag to side as his muscles began to relax once again. He needed it out, had to get it out before he lost consciousness again, and he barely managed to pry open his traitorous lips and whisper John before the swell brought him under.

Kaidan jerked awake. His eyes flew open, not wanting to remain a moment longer in that memory, and he hastily brought his palm up to rub the sleep from his eyes and hopefully grind the image out of his head. It was futile, but there were times when he sorely wished that he could just will the images and memories trapped in his brain.

It had been three months since the Crucible had erupted in a wave of purifying light and for an instant, the dark galaxy had shone like a gem, chasing away the dark scourge that had been the Reapers. It had been a miracle that any of them had survived, that so many of them had survived, and it was all thanks to the saviour of the galaxy, his lover, John Shepard.

The thought never failed to send warmth coursing through his body and despite the lingering effects of the nightmare, he smiled at the thought. If someone had told him during BAaT that he'd be having sexual relations with his commanding officer, leading a school of biotics and taking down mechanical menaces from all the dark corners of the galaxy, he'd have laughed in that person's face. And after he finished, he'd take a breath and laugh again.

Still, not everything was perfect. Earth was in ruins, especially considering that it bore the brunt of the Reaper invasion force. That they had managed to hold out for so long was probably due to the inspiration and hope provided by John Shepard and his activities across the galaxy, gathering resources and rallying nations under a single banner. He grinned again at the thought, especially when he considered how John would have hated being glorified in that way.

It had been four days after The Cleansing, as the various newsgroups and articles had unanimously dubbed the explosion, when they had found him. The Normandy was the first ship to reach Earth after the bedraggled forces had been accounted for at the rendezvous, just at the edge of the Sol System, and Kaidan was still embarrassed to recall that he had almost screamed at Admiral Hackett in his insistence to head back and search for Shepard.

They had landed as close to the debris and destruction of the Beam as they could, hoping that, if anything, they'd be able to find him in the vicinity. That first day Kaidan had shouted himself hoarse calling out Shepard's name, alternating between 'John' and 'Shepard' and had even begun picking through the rubble on his own, trying to lift everything he could with his biotics, until Doctor Chakwas had commandeered a group of marines to bodily drag him back to the safety of the ship. If he hadn't been so exhausted, he'd probably have flung them off and continued searching through the night until he collapsed.

He had tried to bolt back out as soon as he was brought into the med-bay but Chakwas' patience had finally snapped and she practically cornered him under a sterile lab table as she let loose with an anger that had left Kaidan with his mouth gaping open in shock. He had barely recovered from his injuries, she had scolded loudly, and it would be a fine mess if they had to spend the last of their medical reserves on him again and then find Shepard and run out of supplies. The thought, more than anything, chilled Kaidan to the bone, so he shut himself up and hung his head trying his best to look chastised. Chakwas hadn't even glanced at him as he let himself out of the med-bay, almost tip-toeing out like a meek space hamster.

He had made his way to Shepard's cabin without bothering to remove his armour, wanting to be prepared to leave as soon as he got word. The cabin was as they had always left it, he had claimed a space as well when they had made their relationship official, and lay on the mattress as he hugged Shepard's favourite N7 hoodie, tattered and worn. He breathed in the scent of his lover, like he had always done since the evacuation, and couldn't stop the tears from falling and soaking into the fabric. There were patches of salty, white crust all over the hoodie, and he knew he should have gotten it washed, but the thought of parting with even this small bit of the man wanted to make him howl in denial. So he kept it with him, surrounding himself with John's love whenever he could.

They found him the next day.

The shout that repeated and rang through the Normandy's ship wide comm system was like a glorious shout of victory and Kaidan had never thought that he would have thought Joker's voice was so wonderfully, perfect in that moment. He thought he would really have to go and compliment the man for having such a beautiful voice, though in truth all he did was huddle in the cabin and weep with gratitude.

When he finally managed to centre himself, he had almost leapt into the Kodiak in haste, and there was a moment of frustration when he had rebounded off of Garrus and Vega, both with wide grins on their faces. Liara, Tali and Chakwas were peering over their shoulders at him and Kaidan could see Javik smirking in a corner. EDI still hadn't fully recovered from The Cleansing, so she opted to stay on the Normandy in case they had to leave with haste, but still, every able bodied crew mate seemed to fill the shuttle to bursting and Kaidan blushed when he realized that he was probably the last one to come aboard.

They had sped off as fast as they could, the shuttle drifting slightly as Cortez pulled more and more power into the vehicle as it strained to reach their destination, approximately two kilometres east of where the Beam had been located. The buzz of conversation filled the shuttle, good natured jokes and small talk spread with comforting warmth but Kaidan hadn't joined in, merely stared dead ahead as the anticipation built within him. Shepard was alive, and until he saw him with his own eyes, nothing else could matter.

Since he was the last in, he was also the first one out and ran at a stumbling rush towards the makeshift tent that had been built up over the area where Shepard had been found. He barely acknowledged the group of tired marines who had been scouring the area since the night before, one of the other first contact groups that had reached the site after the Normandy. Kaidan had pulled the tent flap back roughly with a snap and charged towards the huddle of medical personnel and machinery at the far corner. They looked up suddenly at the sounds of his approach and edged to the side as they continued to fiddle with the makeshift instruments that was keeping Shepard alive.

One glance and Kaidan had promptly backtracked, turning around and running toward the entrance as his stomach cramped and he crouched, just outside the flap, to dry heave as the images played through his mind. Shepard was alive, but barely. He didn't even look human, the only recognizable thing about him was the faded and scratched N7 logo across his chest. There had been a thin metal rod jutting out of his torso, broken pieces of armour littered everywhere and an arm that looked surreal, bent out of position. His legs were all but crushed under debris and his face had been a bruised and scratched mass of wounds and tears, metal bone reinforcements blinking in the light.

Kaidan had wiped his mouth and stood on shaking legs just as the rest of the Normandy ground party reached the tent's entrance and several shades of worry and dread flashed across their features. His throat was raw and he didn't trust his voice to not sound broken, so he dredged up a small smile and nodded his head in affirmation, waving in the general direction of the rear of the tent.

They had gone in then, one after another, Chakwas before anyone else but him, and each had come out a different colour from when they went in, all except Javik who had placed a bland mask of control over his features. Chakwas had remained and Kaidan could hear from his position the increased frenzy as they prepared to stabilize Shepard as best they could and transfer him to a standing facility that could more properly support him.

Many of the crew had volunteered to remain and search for any more survivors, some even offering to walk back to the Normandy after they were done, needing time alone and not-so-fresh air to process what they had seen. As the stretcher hurried past him, Kaidan forced himself to watch as the figure wrapped in sterilized white cloth moved away from him and he contemplated going with them. He knew there was nothing that he could do in any case, though he wanted nothing more than to stay at Shepard's side, holding and grounding the other man as he'd promised to do.

No. He didn't want to hinder the medical team, and if seconds were the difference between life and death, he knew he'd never forgive himself if he stalled them for even a moment. So he had focused on the task at hand, forced himself to go along with the rest of the team as the spread out and scouted for survivors. There had been very, very few.

The next few weeks had passed in a blur. Shepard had been partially stabilized on the Normandy and had been rushed to one of the only few standing medical facilities left in London, a place that Kaidan hadn't been familiar with then, though because of its location on the periphery of the area it had survived almost unscathed. Medical professionals from all over the galaxy had swooped in, trying to save a saviour, and it was more than two weeks before they had gotten word that Shepard was fully stable. Kaidan had been sick with worry during the wait and took the first chance he got to make his way over to Shepard's side, though it had been an agonizing several hours as he shouted, threatened and begged over his communicator trying to find out where exactly they had been keeping Shepard.

Shepard still hadn't regained consciousness when Kaidan had arrived at King's Royal Hospital, sweaty and wrung-out, and he had refused to leave the man's bedside. The hospital staff had even moved in a temporary stretcher for him, all the hospital beds were being taken up by patients from all over the area, and had placed it in an out-of-the-way corner so that he could at least get some sleep. He had asked that all communication and messages meant for him be forwarded to his omni-tool and he had practically lived in the small ward next to Shepard's still but recovering form, only emerging when his presence was urgently requested for by Alliance Brass.

He had busied himself with reports of all sorts, updates on the surviving members of his biotic division and the logistics of evacuation and re-housing among them, and ever so often, he would glance up at the sleeping form of the only other occupant in the room. Sometimes he would work next to Shepard, pulling up a chair and asking rhetorical questions about certain things that puzzled him and he could almost imagine the replies that floated on the air, and it brought Kaidan back to all the times they had spent aboard the Normandy. It was comfortable and mundane, exactly what Kaidan needed to ground himself as he waited impatiently for Shepard to regain consciousness.

Two months after Kaidan had begun his bedside vigil Shepard had awoken. He had been sitting at his usual place, at Shepard's side, going through the allotment of temporary housing that would be available for Alliance personnel who were still active in London, and Kaidan had been rattling off about the different pros and cons of each choice. He knew that he wouldn't be residing here for much longer, had in fact wanted to move back to Vancouver where the Alliance main HQ was being rebuilt, but he had wanted to make sure Shepard would be able to at least enjoy a little time and space with him. He had been stroking Shepard's hand when he felt the slight curling of fingers as they closed around his absent digits.

Kaidan had nearly jumped out of his skin at the movement and had dropped the data-pad unceremoniously onto the floor as he stood and leaned over the man next to him, barely breathing for fear of missing the quickening of breath or the lingering sensation of a caress. His hands had remained in Shepard's palm as he waited and he felt a slight squeeze accompanied by a barely audible "Kaidain..." and Kaidan's breath exited him in a relaxed whoosh.

Tears sprang into his eyes as the surrounding equipment registered the increased brain activity and heart beats and in a matter of minutes he was being hastily shoved out of the room by an asari nurse as platitudes tumbled from her lips, promising severe consequences if he tried to enter again by force. The last thing he saw as the door closed was Shepard, surrounded by a halo of white coats, head tilted to the side and one eye cracked open in his direction.

That had been almost a month ago and since then, Shepard had regained consciousness in increments, first minutes then hours at a time. Kaidan knew from the constant reports that he had insisted upon and the frequent visits that he had maintained, that the man was undergoing all sorts of treatments, some that had baffled even him. Miranda had been called in and it had taken quite a bit of effort on the part of the Shadow Broker before she had been tracked down, somewhere in London overseeing all manner of different things. Seeing as she oversaw the Lazarus Project that had brought him back to life the first time, everyone was all effusive smiles and accepting nods as she went through the entire list of enhancements and modifications that Shepard had undergone and Kaidan was sure that they were the only reasons that Shepard still lived.

Kaidan grimaced. Not for the first time, he made a mental note to get Miranda something special as a thank you. Or at least an apology. On second thought, maybe the thank you gift was something easier, though he hardly knew what the woman was interested in.

He stretched and yawned as he checked the time on his omni-tool. It was 0615 hours, Standard London Time. For a moment, Kaidan wondered how slovenly it would be if he just rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. As he turned onto his side, cheap sheets whispering across his naked body, he could feel the dream that had woken him up in the first place, hovering at the edge of his mind.

The thought of it coming back to haunt him was enough that he forced himself to sit up and looked around the small, temporary house that he'd been assigned, just barely two weeks ago. It was a studio apartment, in a very generous sense of the term, and was basically one large room that was sub-divided into different, smaller components, such as a living room, a kitchen and a single bathroom. There were other larger houses and apartments that were available, but Kaidan hadn't felt right taking any of them as the Alliance wanted to convert them and turn them into makeshift infirmaries and bunks if they could.

The smoke from the fighting had lingered in a polluting haze over the area and had stained everything black and Kaidan had spent the first week trying to scrub away the grime, though he had only succeeded in turning everything into a surprisingly pleasant shade of light grey. Everything in the apartment was salvaged from its previous state and the only new additions were necessities, standard-issue military beddings and accessories, a small work table that had half a leg missing and enough field rations in the cupboards to keep a hungry biotic from starving. He'd been very lucky to even get that much and he knew that even Liara was taxed to her limit trying to support several worlds across the galaxy with relief aid and supplies.

Kaidan shivered as he stepped away from the rough but comforting feel of the blankets, moving away from the bed and heading towards the kitchen. The cold from the floor whispered up his bare feet and into his body, pebbling his skin with goosebumps as he quickly hopped over to the surrounding cupboards looking to grab something to eat. His metabolism would keep him warm enough, so long as he fuelled his body with enough calories, and the onset of cold reminded him that he'd lost a lot of weight during the last few months. Between the recovery, lack of proper food supplies and endless hours of labour, he wasn't the only one who could feel their waist shrinking over time and Kaidan was melancholy at the thought of his pants no longer flattering his posterior as it once did.

He cracked open the airtight seal on a bag that said 'Chicken Pot Pie', but from the quick bite he took, he knew immediately that the meat definitely wasn't chicken or any other meat he'd tasted and the pot pie tasted more like sawdust. Still, he was grateful for the energy boost and munched contemplatively as he wondered whether he should try to do some physical warm-up routines or if he should try to make a dent in the overwhelming amount of reports that were being sent to him.

He shivered slightly as a soft gust blew in from under the door, bringing with it the smells of new buildings and old smoke and he decided that anything to warm him up would be a very welcome thing. After that he'd take a shower, a very quick one since the hot water rations only allotted approximately five minutes per person per house, and take the most urgent reports with him to King's Royal. The thought made him grin around a mouthful of food and despite the lack of sleep, the cold and depressing weather and the ever present workload the Alliance sent in a stream to him, Kaidan felt elated and buoyant.

Today was the day. At long last, after months of waiting, physiotherapy and all manner of fringe science-like medical treatments, the head doctor that had been attending to Shepard had given the all clear. Today, Shepard was coming home.

Kaidan stepped out from the shuttle and absently waved the Alliance shuttle pilot away before moving towards the hospital, hoping the man would have some sense to rest before going for his next run. He would have preferred to drive here, but there was an unsurprising lack of road-worthy vehicles remaining after everything that had happened and he was sure that maintaining luxury cars during a war was not high on anyone's priority list. Added to the fact that most of the roads weren't cleared of all but the largest pieces of rubble yet, it was definitely more convenient to take a shuttle, though due to the lack of pilots and operational shuttles, that avenue of transport was running thin as well.

Kaidan moved quickly up the stairs, a small bag with spare clothes for Shepard swinging next to him, and to the sealed doors of the hospital, the clogging air ensured that no one sane would linger out of doors for longer than necessary, and made his way to the wing that Shepard was being kept in. The receptionist-nurse there recognized him, a pleasant salarian who spoke in quick, chirpy tones, and waved Kaidan forward as he marked off something on a pad. In fact almost all the staff there seemed to recognize him and a few of the more senior members knew him as the 'reclusive Major who lived in ward 29A', and he didn't know whether he should have been pleased with the endearment or embarrassed.

He walked silently through the corridors, occasionally glancing into wards and rooms that were all full. He'd gotten to know some of the patients that had resided here, had forced himself to help out wherever he could, rather than sit and worry over his lover, and though he recognized a few of the people from his glances, most were unfamiliar. There had been some critical cases that he'd known about and hoped that they had recovered or improved and been discharged or transferred. The alternatives were too grim to think about and deep down he silently thanked whatever divine being it was that watched over foolish lovers and heroic soldiers for the life of John Shepard.

Kaidan had just made it to the door of 29A and barely caught himself as he almost barrelled into the head doctor in his reckless haste. Doctor Jonas looked up as Kaidan hopped to the side, barely avoiding a collision, and smiled at the Major as Kaidan sheepishly returned the gesture. They shook hands before the doctor motioned him out into the hall and Kaidan managed to get a peek over his shoulder of Shepard reclining back and speaking to a nurse who was checking off boxes on a data-pad in her hand. Shepard noticed him and looked up, all questions forgotten, and the smile he gave to Kaidan was enough to unhinge his knees.

The door slid shut and Kaidan turned to Doctor Jonas as he consulted several things on the data-pad he was holding, allowing the silence to stretch out between them as Kaidan imagined about what he would do with Shepard, and to him he thought passionately, over the next few weeks, let alone the rest of their lives. Yes, the sensual and adamant affirmation sent heat shooting through Kaidan, and he hoped his body wouldn't respond inappropriately while he was facing the doctor. He couldn't imagine anything else but devoting himself, his love, his all to Shepard for as long as his lifetime would permit.

"So, Major Alenko," Doctor Jonas began, snapping Kaidan out of his daydreams, "I've just been over the latest physical data we've received about Commander Shepard and everything has come back in acceptable ranges. In fact, his recovery is nothing short of miraculous. I wonder if Miss Lawson would be willing to go over some of the details about the Commander's enhancements, it would definitely assist us in some of the more difficult cases such as-"

"Uh, doctor?" Kaidan interrupted, knowing the man would carry on until someone stopped his train of thought.

"Hmm? Oh, yes. Commander Shepard is in near perfect physical health, considering what he's been through, from what we can tell. The vast majority of his injuries will take a few more weeks to heal naturally on their own and he'll be able to perform light duties only," Doctor Jonas added for emphasis, "The damage to his legs was perhaps the most trying, though he'll be able to move around with a walking aid. The hospital will loan you a pair of crutches, the forms can be filled in at the counter." The doctor paused in his recitation as he glanced down at the data in his hands.

Kaidan held his breath, waiting for the 'but' and the bad news that would inevitably follow.

"The damage to his spine was mostly cosmetic, probably due to his armour and the metallic modifications that he had undergone. The area around his L5 amp was a worrisome problem, we worried that he had sustained severe damage to the area considering the nature of his... injuries. However, Cerberus obviously took that into account and the titanium reinforcements there negated any serious injury. All in all, that is the full rundown of his most notable injuries." Doctor Jonas looked up expectantly as he finished.

"I... That's good to know doctor, thank you. For everything," Kaidan said, trying to keep the lump in his throat from overwhelming his voice.

"It was my pleasure, Major, especially considering all that Commander Shepard has done for us," Doctor Jonas replied absently. "Now, we'll need to schedule a follow-up as well as a psych-evaluation for the Commander. We want to make sure that there won't be any lingering damage in any case, and we felt that it would have been... too much to lay on him during his physical recovery as well. In truth I'd like to keep him here longer, but he can be quite... feisty in confinement," Kaidan couldn't help but blush at the statement and innocently nodded his head in agreement, "and the higher ups have requested that he be released as soon as we've determined he could recover under his own power. Again, everything can be sorted out at the front."

Kaidan nodded impatiently, his desire to know that Shepard was safe and well was sated now and he wanted nothing more than to head in. Doctor Jonas apparently noticed his impatience, the way his muscles clenched and unclenched, and the doctor smiled reassuringly before stepping aside.

Kaidan literally leapt forward at the opportunity and tried to maintain his decorum as he rushed over to Shepard's beside, catching the trailing end of conversation between the nurse and her patient as he approached.

"...and we'll see you again, once you've confirmed your appointment with us," the nurse finished and looked up from the questionnaire.

"Thank you, it's been really great here," Shepared replied diplomatically.

The nurse beamed in response and rewarded the man with an open smile. "Why thank you, we are trying our best. And personally, I'd just like to say what an honour it's been Commander. Thank you for, well, everything."

Kaidan had been watching Shepard the entire time and saw the way a harsh shadow flickered across the man's eyes as memories of war and death tromped through his mind. It was gone in an instant, replaced by a familiar cock-sure grin, and if Kaidan hadn't been paying attention, he knew he'd have missed it. He firmly stamped a mental note in his mind to arrange for the psych-evaluation as soon as possible, even though Kaidan had personally hated the experience.

Wanting to forestall anything more, Kaidan gently took Shepard's hand in his own, capturing his attention. "Well, Shepard. I'm glad to see you're as... feisty as ever?"

A healthy bloom spread across Shepard's cheeks as the nurse stifled a giggle and moved away from the bedside, giving them privacy and space. They stared at each other, soaking in the differences and similarities as the door quietly slid shut behind the retreating nurse.

"Is she gone?" Shepard asked without turning away and Kaidan nodded dumbly, a question forming on his lips.

Before he could ask though, Shepard had reached forward and snagged his head in both of his battle-scarred hands, bringing it forward as he brought their lips together with ferocity. Despite the heat and rush of the moment, Shepard's kisses were soft and gentle, tongue flicking out and tasting, sampling the warm flesh of Kaidan's lips and the burning sensation in his chest rose tenfold as he truly tasted his lover in his mouth once more.

Kaidan sighed into the kiss, blissful contentment escaping from his trapped mouth as he felt his body respond and he eagerly met Shepard's thrusting tongue with his own, snaking its way over the full lips and smooth teeth. He wanted nothing more than to explore, to remember every part of that sensual mouth and would have been satisfied spending the next hour or so cuddling and kissing this wonderful, wonderful man.

Shepard's hand was beginning to work their way over his shirt, gently teasing and pinching his sensitive left nipple over the soft fabric and Kaidan couldn't help the raspy groan that escaped from his throat, felt his cock twitch at the replying sound that came from Shepard. He had to force himself to break away from the embrace, had to thrash himself senseless before he could pull away, and was breathing heavily as he saw Shepard lick his lips and give him that crooked grin.

Damn, they'd never leave the hospital at this rate, Kaidan thought to himself.

He followed Shepard's gaze as the other man's eyes moved down to the foot of the bed and he had to swallow the grunt that was about to emerge, though he couldn't do anything about the way his eyes widened at the sight of Shepard's thick, erect member as it tented the hospital bed material in a very obvious full mast.

"Kaidan," Shepard almost whined, and Kaidan wondered if it could be called a whine in that deep tone that sent shivers through him, "You're not going to leave me hanging like this are you?"

"Uh, Shepard... John, I.. I don't think I'd exactly call that 'hanging' if you know what I mean. Is this really the place that you want to be doing something like this-"

Shepard's chuckle stopped him from continuing. "Kaidan, you have no idea how adorable you are when you stutter." Shepard leaned forward and brought his mouth up to Kaidan's ear, hot breath tickling over his skin. "I really like it," Shepard whispered sensually.

Kaidan felt as if a flash-grenade had exploded in his head and almost forgave the other man for calling him... adorable. Almost. His own erection was painfully pressing against the fabric of his pants and he refused to let Shepard have the satisfaction of seeing him so hot and needy. Well, two could play at this game, Kaidan thought.

"John," Kaidan returned, dropping his voice and adding a raspy, throaty quality that he knew always made Shepard breath faster. He was rewarded as he felt the chest pressed against him rise and fall at an increased pace. He pulled back slightly and planted a chaste kiss against the other man's lips before looking him in the eye. "You're right."

Shepard blinked once. He hadn't been expecting that. Good, Kaidan thought.

"I... You're right. We can't let you walk out of the hospital like that. Here, let me help."

Kaidan scooted the chair back so that he was just out of Shepard's reach and began to watch the other man as he slowly raised his hands and began to stroke his skin, making deep growling noises as his own hands caressed his neck, his collarbone. He ran his hands over his chest and his fingers bumped over the stiff nipple there, eliciting a low moan from his mouth and he closed his eyes in bliss. He rubbed the area slowly, gently and felt more moans escape his lips, short, hard bursts that filled his throat.

He cracked open one eye and tried not to let the smile show as he watched Shepard, mouth slightly parted, breathing heavily as Shepard watched with predatory fascination. There was also a tight pulling of frustration along the man's eyes and Kaidan knew he had the upper hand. He lowered his hands and gently slipped them under the waist band of his pants, leaning back as he gave Shepard a very clear view of his erection and the questing fingers that were making their way toward it. He heard a very desperate, very un-Commander like sound from the man and watched as the other man clenched his fists in the gathered bedsheets. Shepard's teeth were gritted and Kaidan was surprised that the other man hadn't reached down to satisfy his own urges.

Kaidan mentally shrugged. Maybe he needed to provide the man with something more... explicit. He slowly, teasingly worked his pants free, feeling the hot skin of his cock bounce back from the retreating fabric and slap him against his stomach. He hadn't worn underwear today, as was his usual, and he was glad that he hadn't made an exception as Shepard's eyes almost bulged out. Kaidan used a finger to trace a vein that ran along his length, slowing following it up to his throbbing head and ran dry fingers over the sensitive glans. The friction was exquisite and Kaidan moaned more deeply and louder than before, his free hand working their way down to cup his balls.

"Do... Do you like the view so far, Shepard? I... uh, I thought you like it when I.. when I do this. Please Shepard... John. I need.. Y- You know I need you... Ah..." Kaidan voiced the thoughts that were running through his head, feeling slightly like an extranet sex hotline operator.

Shepard had begun to shake and his face was going red. Kaidan could almost imagine the other man's erection as it throbbed under the hospital sheets and Kaidan wondered how much farther he'd have to go before Shepard cracked and gave in.

Suddenly it hit him, realized something was amiss when Kaidan's slightly glazed eyes were searching for the proof of Shepard's response to him and had roamed over the bed several times before he realized he couldn't see Shepard's hardness anywhere. Had the man already come?

Shepard was still red-faced and shaking as he turned his head slowly and stared at the corner of the room, just above the door that led to the corridor. Kaidan's felt his eyes shift as they tracked to the same spot and his hands froze at the sight, embarrassment shutting out his ardour like a door slam. He fumbled clumsily with his waistband, a small squeak escaping his lips as he wished fervently for a Reaper beam to vaporize the area he was sitting on.

There, in the topmost corner of the room, a security camera winked at him as it scanned the room and Kaidan hastily pulled up his pants as all the blood rushed from his groin and into his face. He didn't think things would have gotten any worse until he glared accusingly at Shepard, his anger failing in its effectiveness as embarassment stained his features, and he heard something he'd never heard before from the man during their time together. Shepard leaned back against the bedframe and laughed till tears rolled from his eyes.

Shepard noticed that Kaidan was awkwardly shifting his feet and scrubbing at the back of his neck as he helped him to fill out the paperwork and was still casting accusing glances in his direction; he fired back with that crooked-grin of his that he knew Kaidan would never be able to get enough of. He'd told him often enough during their more private moments. He couldn't help but think back to what had happened in the ward, knew that he'd keep that precious memory with him for the rest of his life.

His desire had almost overwhelmed him at the sight of Kaidan reaching into this pants, had wanted nothing more than to join the other man in that absolutely voyeuristic way, but Shepard had been wondering how far Kaidan would go to trump one over him. All the way, it seemed, whipping it out like that for everyone to see, and he was sure that the salarian receptionist's nervous gestures had more to do with that little... performance than with Shepard's presence here in the hall. He grinned again at the recollection and wondered if they could... explore that avenue further when they got out of here. Hot desired raced through him at the thought and he hummed in anticipation; it had been too long since he'd been with Kaidan, needed the smell and sight and sound of him, climaxing next to him and in him, just like they'd done on that last run before Cronos Station.

His mood went dark as he recalled the events that had led up to this point, unable to resist tracing the familiar, worn paths of those memories. Thankfully, Kaidan had finished up with everything and was beating a hasty retreat from the desk back to Shepard's position, traces of pink still tinging his skin, and said in clipped tones that they should go.

"Are you sure you want to leave so soon, Kaidan? I mean, I heard you've been here for a few months now. I'm sure there are some nurses you want to say goodbye to," Shepard couldn't help the satisfied smirk that quirked his mouth.

Kaidan's growl and glare would have been so sexy if Shepard wasn't sure that the other man would make him sleep on the floor or the couch for this, so he schooled his face and tried to look as innocent as possible. It obviously didn't work as well as he'd hoped when Kaidan raised an eyebrow at him and snorted, muttering about "if I knew the doctor wouldn't drag you back to the hospital over it, I'd make you sleep on the floor, Shepard."

Well, he could think of other ways to placate his lover.

Shepard picked up his crutch, he had adamantly refused to use two and had made it clear that he only needed to support the weight off one leg, and made slow halting steps out the door and back into the real world, freedom and his life with Kaidan. He'd finally be able to get it done, all the quiet moments spent alone in the hospital, coming up with and discarding plans, a proposal, a life together. He ached for it, more than anything.

He stopped suddenly, leaving Kaidan to walk forward a few steps before he turned to look back, and Shepard felt shame build up in him as he took in the short flight of steps before him. Slayer of Reapers, Saviour of the Krogan, of the galaxy at large and here he was, worried that he'd be taken out of action by a flight of stairs.

"John? What's the matter?" Kaidan asked from a few steps down.

"I... think that maybe I should take it slow. Stairs... I, uh... Do you think they have a ramp here? Maybe I could-" Shepard knew he was stalling, didn't want to let Kaidan see how worried he was about the prospect of being crippled by some raised steps and spending another few months back in the same ward. Away from Kaidan. This time, they'd never let him out till they were a hundred percent sure he was fit.

A huffing laugh sounded from Kaidan and Shepard thought the air was a bit chillier than usual, which was probably the reason why he felt his face flush. Definitely the wind.

Kaidan walked up to him and said with a wicked gleam in his eyes, "The great Commander Shepard, defeated by a flight of stairs? You know John, we'd have been in real trouble if Cerberus had used stairs instead of lifts in all their bases. Or imagine, you'd never have made it up to the Council Chamber." Kaidan huffed out another laugh.

Shepard opened his mouth to retort, now sure that he would make his way down even if it killed him, when Kaidan stalled him.

"Relax John. You don't have to put up a front for me," Kaidan kissed Shepard's forehead before manoeuvring around behind him, holding the man close as he grabbed his waist firmly, bodies grinding deliciously close together.

"Kaidan, what-" and that was all that Shepard could get out as he felt the tell-tale, flickering tingle of Kaidan's biotics surge around the both of them. It was a heady moment for him, surrounded and protected by something that was uniquely Kaidan, could smell the musky, manly scent of other man as he leaned his head carefully across Shepard's neck.

"Kaidan, do you think a barrier is really necessary for this?" Shepard asked.

"Shush, John. I'm trying to concentrate."

So Shepard sighed and looked forward, slowly getting lost in the hard, hot body pressed against him and the buzzing bliss that flowed over his skin. He didn't even have time to shout when Kaidan took a step forward, launching them both into empty air and Shepard felt the shift as the biotic mass of energy swirled faster around the both of them.

They were floating. Shepard turned to look over his shoulder and saw that Kaidan's eyes were closed, forehead puckered in concentration as he floated the both of them down the short flight of stairs. Shepard watched as they weightlessly travelled forward, he felt almost surreal hanging in the middle of nothing, surrounded by Kaidan, and closed his eyes as the soft, gentle wind stroked his skin. It was amazing.

All too soon, Shepard felt the hard ground touch the edges of his toes and he couldn't help the slightly disappointed sound from escaping his lips now that he was back on solid earth. He turned and raised a hand to stroke Kaidan's cheek lovingly as the man wiped sweat from his brow in a way that recalled to Shepard the very first time he'd seen the man and felt his heart snagged in those deep, brown eyes. And felt himself fall even more deeply in this moment.

"Kaidan, I- How did... When-" Shepard just couldn't get the words out right.

Kaidan huffed a breath, breaking into a wide grin. "John, you've no idea how adorable you are when you stutter... I think I like it."

"Kaidan..." Shepard refused to be distracted by that golden, honeyed voice.

"Well John, you, ah, you remember the Ardat-Yakshi monastery? How we were...um, discussing the merits of using biotics to float? Well, I had some free time on my hands and I- I was trying to, you know, get Liara to teach me. She didn't know how, so I guess I kind of... taught myself? For you..." Kaidan finished, blushing furiously. Yes, his heart was definitely being tugged under, Shepard couldn't help thinking.

He leaned forward and kissed Kaidan, breathing a warm "Thank you, Kaidan."

Shepard really needed to get Kaidan home, needed some privacy and a bed in order to thank Kaidan properly and hoped the shuttle wouldn't be more than a few minutes away, or else he'd go mad with desire.

"So... Are... You going to teach me that?" Shepard asked curiously. He'd like the opportunity to do that for Kaidan.

Kaidan smirked. "Hmm... I think it'd be best if I, uh, handled that for now... Shepard. Wouldn't want you to, ah, overexert yourself, you know?"

Shepard raised an eyebrow at him, "That's cruel and unusual, even for you, Major."

"Look, Shepard, would you really want angry doctors breaking down our door if you, you know, fried your amp out?"

Shepard snorted. "You're never going to tell me, are you Kaidan?"

A sudden gust of displaced air signalled the shuttle's arrival and Kaidan returned a triumphant grin in Shepard's direction. "Shuttle's here, Shepard. We should go."

"You know, I've noticed that you've been saying that a lot."

"Huh. Must be the company I keep."

"Yeah, alright Major. You win this round, keep beating up a helpless, old soldier."

A disbelieving sound emerged from Kaidan. "John... You're many things, I'm sure, but helpless? Definitely not one of them."

Shepard folded his arms as best he could, with the crutch blocking his movements slightly. "You just don't know me well enough, Kaidan. I'm as helpless as a baby ...krogan."

"That's... a really poor choice of words, Shepard. Remember what you told me about after you let Grunt out of his tank?" Kaidan shook his head in amusement as he boarded the shuttle.

"Alright, fine," Shepard conceded, perhaps it was a wrong comparison, "Maybe a baby... um..."

"More like a baby thresher maw."

Baby thresher maw? Did they even have babies? He'd have to look it up. He struggled, trying his best to gracefully climb into the shuttle with his crutch hindering him. "It's like you don't know me at all." Shepard muttered trying to manoeuvre his way up.

A firm grasp on his hand caused him to look up, at the beaming smile on Kaidan's face and the strength in his arms as he gave Shepard a firm but gentle tug up on to the platform. He stumbled slightly, barely catching himself but Kaidan was prepared and braced the other man against him, legs bent to take on the increased weight as their bodies intertwined once more. Shepard was more than a little breathless from the constant closeness that they were sharing, though he wasn't sure if it was from all the physical exertion or the warm love that poured from Kaidan and soaked into Shepard's skin. Definitely the exertion.

Kaidan pulled back and gave Shepard a look that was filled with care, concern and love. There was something more, something hot, something needy and sexual in there too and it made Shepard weak. "Don't know you at all, John?" Kaidan purred, "Let's see if we can fix that, later." The kiss that followed drowned out every other reply from Shepard's head.

"Doctor Jonas? I've just finished collaborating with tox and physical. Here's the Shepard case file you asked for. Would you like me to send it off to the Alliance or..."

Jonas tiredly looked up from his terminal. "Hrmm? Oh, Kalyra. Thank you. Please, just leave it here. I'd like to go over what we're going to send over."

"Alright doctor." The asari nurse gingerly placed the thick folio on to the table before heading back towards the door, "If there's nothing else, most of us will be leaving for the day."

Jonas sighed. There was always something else, and they just didn't have enough personnel to effectively run the facility. Still, they were only... organic. He was about to say human, but knew that the term didn't apply to a majority of the staff working here at King's. He was in fact, eternally grateful to have a staff group that were as diverse as his patients. Still, he had a job to do.

"How's Mr. Zimmerman in ICU? Did we pull him through?" Jonas asked.

"He's stabilized sir, we've moved him to ward 12C."

"And the pair of turians? What were their names..."

"Zorrus and Hidonis? They've stabilized as well. We've kept them where they are, since we thought you'd like to take a look at them before we moved them to a standard ward."

Jonas muddled over the information as he considered. Those were the most pressing cases and they all seemed to be progressing nicely. "That'll be all Kalyra. Thank you," he said gratefully, feeling a small weight lift from his already overburdened shoulders.

Kalyra nodded once more, turning her head quizzically to the side for a moment before she spoke up. "If you don't mind me saying so doctor, I think you should wrap up your day as well."

Jonas sighed again. He wanted nothing more than for a chance to go home to his wife, and spend the little time that he could get away with, with her. Instead he said, "I appreciate the thought Kalyra but there's just too much to do. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yes doctor. Have a good day."

Jonas waved non-committedly in her direction as the door was closing. He rubbed his eyes tiredly and finished checking through the last of the shift details for the coming week. He contemplated calling his wife to tell her he'd probably be late working again, but thought against it. No, he'd make it home tonight on time if it killed him and have a nice quiet evening with her over the meagre dinner that she had probably, painstakingly prepared for them. With that thought, he picked up the Shepard file and flipped through, making sure everything was in order before he sent it off, as requested.

So far everything looked to be in order, just as he had told Major Alenko that afternoon. He flipped over to the last two pages, the ones that detailed the feedback and psych preliminary questions. Normally he wouldn't be responsible for going through something so meagre, but this was Commander Shepard after all and he knew that everything would have to be perfectly vetted through regarding the man's documentation.

His eyes scanned the document as he thought about the coming dinner and quiet conversation he'd have with his wife. It had been too long since-

Wait. His eyes tracked back to the start of the paragraph.

... Admiral Anderson was a friend and a mentor. It was a great loss for the galaxy when he died next to me on the...

Jonas scrubbed his eyes and continued forward.

...alone with him, up the beam...

...Catalyst gave me a choice and I wasn't sure...

...that's all I can remember so far. I don't know how I managed to survive the Citadel explosion. It was shredded to pieces, I guess I was...

Doctor Jonas shivered as he felt a cold dread build up in him at the words. This wasn't right, this couldn't be happening. He used his omni-tool and comm-ed Kalyra immediately. When she picked up, he almost yelled into the speaker.

"Kalyra! This is Doctor Jonas. That- The Shepard file, who compiled the last two pages?"

The voice that came through sounded quite stunned at the outburst, "I- Doctor, that was me! Don't you remember? You were there when I left. What's the matter? Do I need to come back?" Kalyra was starting to sound panicked and the last thing that Jonas needed was rumour spread like wildfire. He took several fortifying breaths before continuing.

"I- No. No, Kalyra, it's quite alright. There were... a few discrepancies. I can clear it up. Nothing to worry yourself over. There's no reason for you to come back, I'll just tidy it up and send it over."

"I- I'm sorry doctor but I don't underst-"

He hung up before she even finished the question. There wasn't any time and things had been too recent, too raw for him to discount the hunch provided by his suspicions. This was steadily progressing out of his hands, but he would do what he had to. He turned on his private terminal and placed a call, a very important call, and absently straightened his coat as he waited for it to connect.

"Hello? This is Hackett."

"Admiral Hackett? This is Head Doctor Mendley Jonas, King's Royal Hospital."

"Doctor, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Admiral, I'm sure you're aware we've been keeping Commander Shepard under observation at our facility during his period of recovery. As of today, he was released into the custody of Alliance Major Kaidan Alenko."

Hackett's tired sigh breathed through. "Yes doctor, I'm aware of all that. Was there a specific reason for contacting me? Is everything alright?"

Jonas had to swallow before continuing. "I- Yes. Yes Admiral, everything's alright, everything's fine. But..."

"But? You know, it's never good to leave that word hanging like that."

"There's... there's something that I think you need to be aware of Admiral. I was going through Shepard's file and, though it might be an unproven theoretical postulation, as compared to-"

"Doctor..." Hackett interrupted warningly.

"I.. Yes. Of course," Jonas took a deep breath and relayed to the Admiral all the information that he had read, all the suspicions that had taken root in his mind. He didn't want to cause panic, but this might be something that they couldn't ignore.

As Jonas dwindled down, he became acutely aware of the uncomfortable silence that lingered on the other end of the comm-line and the dread that must have been building up from the revelations that he had spouted. He was still waiting for an answer as the folio slipped from his fingers and spread themselves across the floor like dying leaves. He didn't even think of calling his wife to tell her he was going to be very, very late.