Notes:

- This takes place during a meeting Kaiba has with Saiou in episode 76. It is simultaneously based on the English and the Japanese dialog, so it might seem a bit inaccurate if you're only familiar with one version.

- The strange ending to this version is based on an authors note I read somewhere on this site, talking about how the English dialog they exchange sounds strange to them, because of Saiou's statement that Kaiba has not aged in years. I don't know if they were seriously confused about what that meant, or if they were joking, but either way I wish I remembered who they were so I could credit them for giving me the idea.

Kaiba doesn't like to look at people when he's talking to them. He doesn't like it when people feel comfortable around him, so he prefers all of his interactions to be as impersonal and distasteful as possible. He wants you to come in, state your business, and get out. He doesn't want you to feel confident. He wants you to feel stupid and inferior, and come out making mistakes you wouldn't have otherwise. He hates you.

That's why his office is big and bland looking, and why his entire back wall is a window. So you can look at the enormous man, standing, facing away from you, like you're so low on his list of priorities he isn't even willing to look at you; and when you look past him, not only do you see his angry, hateful reflection staring at you and away from you at the same time, you see what he's really paying attention to is something bigger than even he is, the city. If he's bigger than you, the city is infinitely bigger than you. And he is definitely bigger than you. Even if you are taller than him. You are small and insignificant. You can also see yourself reflected in that window, trembling like pudding behind your terrifying host, unmoving as a mountain. You suck.

Everything is carefully put together to make the visitor as uncomfortable as possible. If they hate being there, they will leave faster. If they try to leave faster, they are more likely to make concessions to their host. Kaiba will always come out with the better deal because you are afraid of him. Everything, down to his outfit. Down to his physical appearance. Sometimes, as a subtle little way of causing discomfort, he'll wear colored contacts to make his eyes icier. His iris' natural pigmentation is too warm. He doesn't want to seem welcoming in any way. Ever.

Which is one of the main reasons why he's not particularly happy with the man in his office right now. This man, standing confidently before him with a big creepy smile plastered across his face. This man, gaunt and sallow-skinned, tired and sick looking but holding his ground with relative ease. This man, the owner of an expansive "organization" that is clearly a cult, which he is hosting in one of Kaiba's institutions. Saiou Takuma doesn't have to introduce himself, Kaiba already knows about him. But he does anyway.

Kaiba has certainly met other people who could stand before him without wetting themselves before. The Big Five, for example. (Except for maybe Otaki. He's a fat loser.) Pegasus. A few other people, but none of them were business associates, so they do not count in this situation. So, Mr. Saiou here would be the seventh person to ever seem completely confident in Kaiba's presence. Others have tried. But Kaiba can tell the difference between bravery and fearlessness. It doesn't count if it's the former. Here I seems to be the latter.

So Kaiba hasn't much choice but to treat this man as close to an equal as anyone can be. No one is on equal level with Kaiba. When he turns to look at him, he turns all the way around. He gives his guest a full twenty seconds to see him before he turns back to the window.

Kaiba notices that Saiou is one of those people who does not immediately get to the point, and he doesn't appreciate it. So he asks Saiou to hurry the fuck up and tell him what he wants. He's a busy man, after all. Saiou smirks at him, amused by something that hasn't happened. Kaiba already knows about this as well. He thinks he can see the future. Or at least, he has plenty of people who he's convinced he can see the future. How could someone like that not be confident? Cocky, even? Of course everything Kaiba says is funny to him. What an ass.

So anyway he's smirking like a fool and he makes a comment about Kaiba's impatience. "Everything I've heard about you is true. Not only haven't you aged in years, but you're as shrewd as the day you stepped in," he says, bowing his head politely but awkwardly. Awkwardness you would almost miss because he makes it look so natural, he's entirely convinced it doesn't matter what he does because everything he does is right. He doesn't understand what a proper bow is supposed to look like, but he just does it anyway.

But the really audacious thing, and the really confusing thing, is that strange comment he made. Kaiba turns around and looks at him again, puzzled. "What do you mean, I haven't aged a day? I don't know who you've heard that from, but in any case I've never met you before. How would you know that?"

Saiou's smile doesn't waver. He seems to have fangs. Yellow fangs. For someone running something called the Society of Light, he doesn't really fit the description. He's pale to the point where you should be able to call his skin color white, were it not so diseased looking. He's the color of plaster.

"Well, Mr. Kaiba, I believe I don't need to have met you to know you haven't been aging," he says. His smile widens to a grin. The corners of his lips overlap the skin on his sunken cheeks. He's leering, like he knows something.

For the first time in history, Kaiba is the nervous one in his office.

"What do you know?" he asks, sweeping around to face his guest. Within a moment he's turned his anxiety into fury. His face is crumpled with loathing, his lip is curled in a sneer, his fists are balled and shaking. Kaiba hates it when people know more about him than he wants them to. Saiou clearly knows more than he's supposed to.

"It's funny, how often your life is sought after, in light of your ability," he says. He's being intentionally vague, like he's trying to get Kaiba to admit to it before he accuses him of anything. Kaiba is not so stupid as that. Before either of them says anything revealing, Kaiba sends his security out of the room. They protest, they think Saiou looks suspicious. Of course he looks suspicious. Kaiba doesn't care. They exit, stand guard outside the door, listening for anything suspect.

"Look, I don't know what you're trying to pull, but if you don't get the hell out of my office—"

"I'm not trying to pull anything. I'm just here to tell you about what's going to happen soon, as I'm sure it will be important to you." Saiou's face looks more and more punchable every second. Kaiba restrains himself for respectabilities sake. Besides, maybe he should hear this. Maybe he'll find out why this smug bastard knows his biggest secret. Saiou continues.

"There's nothing you or anyone else can do to stop what's coming, so you might as well listen and just do what you can with it. I'm going to wipe out the population of the earth, and it would seem that once I do this, you will be the only person left," he says. Kaiba hears "I'm a huge moron and I'm going to kill your brother."

"Why are you telling me this?" Kaiba asks.

"I just wanted to know if it was true," Saiou says. He feels like he's right because Kaiba hasn't denied anything yet. He thinks he's outwitted him. Kaiba doesn't know how he knows, but he's not happy about it. He has some people he needs to fire. "And I thought I may as well preface my request with this bit of information so you have no reason to deny me. Because I know your secret, and I can tell everyone."

"And what secret is that?" Kaiba asks, even though it's already been said explicitly enough.

"That you, Seto Kaiba, are immortal," he says. Kaiba can't stop himself from twitching when he hears this. "I take it by your reaction that I'm right."

Kaiba is pissed. Kaiba has not been this pissed in a long, long time. Kaiba wants to know how he found out about him when he's never told anyone, not even Mokuba, not even his doctor, not a single person is supposed to know about this. But he doesn't ask to be told. He doesn't really need to know.

"What do you want?" Kaiba asks. He wants to hear everything before he does anything. Though it's all probably going to end with this man getting punched in the face anyway.

"All I ask is for exclusive use of your Kaibaland amusement park." His smile widens even further. His face is starting to distort. He looks like a melted doll, like someone's cut open his face, like an open mouthed dog, his smile is so impossibly large. His teeth glisten with spit. The inner corners of his lips look webbed and fragile, like they're going to peel apart. How disgusting. "Of course, I have the means to compensate you for your time."

"No you don't," Kaiba says. "You're telling me you're going to murder literally everyone on the planet, and you're going to pay me, despite the fact that I'll soon be living in a world where money is obsolete? Why should I believe you have the money to rent the entire park from me, if you're telling the truth?

"No, you're either trying to convince me to let you rent it and then never pay for it because you don't have the money, or you're trying to convince me to rent it without expecting payment because I won't need to be paid."

"Well, what are you going to do?" Saiou asks, his strained smile decreasing a fraction. Kaiba cannot tell if this is because of something he said, or because his mouth is sore. Either way he looks slightly less freakish than he did a few seconds ago. But not much.

"As long as you pay me, you can do what ever you like." Because what the hell does Kaiba care what this psycho bastard does. As if any one person could kill off the earth's entire population. Even if he is serious, he won't succeed. And even if he knows Kaiba's secret, it doesn't make a difference. No one would believe it anyway. He probably made it up and coincidentally got it right. Idiot.

"You won't be disappointed," he says, as if there's any reason to think Kaiba isn't going to make damn sure he gets all the money he's owed when this is over. "And thank you so much for your time. Good day, sir." He bows stupidly again and leaves the room.

One of the security staff, upon reentering the room, says that they think Saiou looks suspicious. Kaiba's still not concerned. He already knew they didn't trust him. Of course he can't be trusted. He's clearly insane. Kaiba doesn't want them to investigate or anything. He just wants to be sure he's going to get his money. Let him do what he wants. If he really thinks he can avoid paying through blackmail and outlandish threats, he's clearly retarded. He's not going to get one up on Kaiba. No one has for ten years.

Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed.