Yes, it's true. I'm back! Hope y'all enjoy!

Much love,

Kat

A Cadillac that no one had seen in five years rolled down the main street of Storybrooke. Gold wiped his hand on his pants leg for the twelfth time in five minutes. What was she doing? Had she moved on? Was she okay? He cleared his throat and took a deep breath then exhaled slowly as he parked in front of the library. His hands wouldn't come off the steering wheel.

"Come on, you old fool," Gold growled, "you were married to her for Christ's sake." He tried again.

It took him another five minutes to get out of the car and walk to the door. Two minutes to open it and step inside.

The bell tiggled its announcement.

"If that's you, Henry, I'm going to tell both of your mothers that you left school early again."

Gold's throat closed and his stomach twisted. Say something! Say something!

Soft footsteps came from the back of the library. "Jefferson?"

Gold swallowed hard and cleared his throat. "No, Belle," he said in a thick brogue. "It's—me."

The footsteps stopped and there was a gasp followed by a loud thud and quiet curses. Gold moved towards the sounds and stopped when he saw her soft brown hair falling over her shoulders as she hunched over and picked up the books she had been cataloguing.

Belle looked up and her eyes widened. There were more lines on his face and silver in his hair. Those eyes were the same though; an unfathomable deep brown. She gathered the books in her arms and slowly stood to face him. "Rodric," she whispered. Belle shifted the books so they were clutched to her chest like a shield. "What are you doing here?"

Gold looked down and stuck his hands in the pockets of his trousers. "I wanted to see you."

"You should have called."

"You wouldn't have let me come if I had."

Belle looked towards the check out desk and chewed on the inside of her lip. "It's been five years," she said.

"I'm two years clean and sober," Gold said, looking back at her. "I have a pin in my luggage."

"That's great, Rodric," Belle said. She walked to the desk and sat the books down before turning to face him again. She wrapped her arms around herself and studied him. He was standing taller. There was no cane, but there was a deep weight behind his eyes. Belle assumed it was the years of guilt and shame. "You finally got your surgery."

Gold shifted his weight as he looked back at her and nodded. "The pain killers were responsible – I was responsible for another relapse around that time. My own arrogance really."

Belle smiled a little. "You always did have enough of that to go around," she said and leaned her hip against the desk.

"Well I was expecting to be welcomed with open arms so that proves my prideful nature if nothing else," Rodric said. He took his hands out of his pockets and wiped them on his pants legs. "I – I don't see a ring. Is there someone special?"

"There is," Belle acknowledged.

"That Jefferson fellow you assumed was here?"

Belle smirked a little. "No one decides my fate but me. You know that better than anyone."

Gold clenched and relaxed his jaw before looking around at the library. Stacks and stacks of books meticulously organized and cared for by the woman who used to share his bed. Gold didn't know what he was willing to do in order to feel her soft touch on his skin again. Yes he did. He knew exactly what he was willing to do. He looked back to Belle. "Does he make you laugh?"

Belle's eyes softened and she looked down at her shoes for a moment. "Yes," she said. "And he doesn't make me cry either." She looked back up at Rodric. "I wish you would have called."

"You make it sound like there's some big secret you wanted to prepare me for," Rodric said with a small smirk.

Belle didn't smile back. "Rodric –"

The door burst open and a little girl with dark brown hair and ocean blue eyes bounded through. "Mommy!" She threw herself into Belle's arms and hugged her neck tight before pulling away. "Jeffy wants to take us to the park. Can we go?"

A lanky man with wild hair poking out of a top hat and a fifteen year old girl trailed in after her. "Sorry, Belle, she got away from—" He looked in between the other man and Belle. She looked uncomfortable. He looked – calm, but the white knuckles and clenched jaw betrayed him. "Is this a bad time?"

Belle rubbed her daughter's back and kept her eyes on Rodric. "It's fine," she said quietly. "Jefferson, this is Rodric Gold. Rodric, this is Jefferson Hatter."

Jefferson took some steps forward so he could reach out his hand to shake Gold's. "Heard a lot about you," he said.

Gold glanced over to Jefferson and then looked back at the little girl in his ex wife's arms; Belle's child, no doubt about that, but he saw bits of his own son at that age in her. The crooked grin and nose were his. "Wish I could say the same."

The girl turned to Rodric and smiled brightly. "Your voice sounds funny. Roland's daddy has a funny voice too."

Belle sighed. "Natalie—"

The corner of Gold's mouth curled up. "You have a funny voice too." His eyes stayed hard and unreadable. "Tell me, dearie, how old are you?"

"This many." Natalie held up four clumsy fingers.

Rodric nodded and glanced to Belle for a moment before looking back at Natalie. "When will you be this many?" He held up five fingers. His hand was steady, but his fingers trembled ever so slightly.

Natalie looked at Belle. "Uh."

"That's enough, Rodric," Belle said quietly and looked back at Natalie. "How about you go play with Grace so Mommy can talk to her friend, okay?"

Natalie grinned over at Grace. "Gracie doesn't want to play with me. Gracie wants to go kiss Henry," she giggled.

Grace's face went red and she hunched her shoulders. "I do not!" Geez that kid had a big mouth. "Come on. We'll go on to the park and they can meet us there." She slid past Belle's ex (she knew exactly who he was) and took Natalie from Belle's arms. "Big mouth," she mumbled.

Natalie's giggles carried through the library until the door shut behind them.

Jefferson watched the girls go and then looked between Gold and Belle. He shifted his weight from foot to foot, taking his hands in and out of his pockets. He opened his mouth to speak a few times, but each time he closed it before he did.

"When did you know you were pregnant?" Gold asked.

Belle jerked her chin up slightly and balled a hand into a fist. She tapped her fist against her leg. "Three weeks before I gave you the papers," she said.

Gold's eyes went wide and then they went nearly black. He clenched his jaw. "You kept her from me," he hissed.

"Yes," Belle snapped, "and I would do it again. You had heroin in our home, Rodric. In our wedding album. I thought you were clean. You promised that you were clean. I was so excited to tell you, and then I found it. So yes. I kept her from you because I just wanted you to go away."

"How could you do that to me? Knowing what you know, how could you be so cruel?" Gold asked.

Belle threw up her hands and folded them in front of her. "Of course, you're the victim here. Why am I not surprised?" She fixed Rodric with a hard stare. "You chose the drugs over me every single time. You begged me to take you back over and over, and I did. I loved you so much, but the second I found out I was pregnant, it wasn't about me anymore. It was about her. I wasn't going to let you hurt her. I wasn't going to let you poison her. I did what I had to do to protect my daughter."

"Our daughter."

"You haven't earned her," Belle said. "You didn't deserve her then."

There was a long silence. Jefferson had to admit that he felt kind of bad for Gold. He had no idea what would have happened to him if he had lost Grace. If Alice decided that he was too mad to be a father. It would have killed him. Jefferson looked to Belle for a long time, but then looked back at Gold once he spoke.

"How can I prove to you that I deserve her now?" Gold's eyes were onyx stones in his face, but his hands were full on shaking and there was a tremor in his voice.

Belle clenched her jaw and let her arms fall. She took a deep breath and blinked back tears. "Just—Be good to her. If you want to stick around and get to know her, you can. That's your right, but be good to her."

"What about you? How can I deserve you again?"

Belle glanced at Jefferson and then at Rodric again. "I don't know."

In case you missed it, there will be so much angst in this story AND a blast from the past in future chapters!