"Iggay!" Jab yelled, running up to me where I was getting some Goldfish crackers from the kitchen.
"Yeah?" I asked.
"We have a test coming up, so, do you want to go to the library with me, Fang, and Max. Nudge, Ella, Angel, and Gazzy - well mostly Nudge, Ella and Angel - are watching Trent. Oh, please?" She pouted.
"Okay, hon," I smiled, kissing her head. She smiled and clapped her hands.
"Great! Well, Dr. M is out in the van with Max and Fnick." I laughed at Fang's nickname, via moi, and we went out to Dr. M's van, hopping in. We lived down the street from the library. The E/MS/HS academy we go to was having the SATs soon and we had to study, like, everything in the world. Or at least that's what it felt like.
"Hey, guys, we'll be back. We're going to the bathroom," Jab said when we got there and picked a table to study at, linking her arm through Max's.
"Together?" I lifted an eyebrow.
"You know nothing about girls, huh? Even after being with me for half a year and living with Nudge and Angel for most of your life."
"Shush and go to the bathroom," I rolled my eyes. The girls went off and we went off to get some history books. I found some on African American history and some on the American Revolution, bringing them back over to the table. No one else was there yet. I sighed and opened the book on African American history. The first chapter was about African American inventors. The guy to patent folding chairs was an African American man named Nathaniel Alexander. The guy to create remote controls for missiles was a man named Otis Boykin. I like this guy. The more I read, the more I was interesting in finding more about African American history. I bet Nudge would like to hear about some of this stuff seeing as she's African-American. I then realized Fang, Jab, and Max still hadn't returned.
"Hmm, where are they?" I mused, standing up. Just then, they came running in, dressed like Ke$ha. Jab had a green leotard with weird wire veil stuff and square-shaped metalic confetti all over it. There was green and pink neon paint sreaks going up her right leg and yellow and orange on the left. Then orange and pink streaks came through her cleavage, up her neck, to her cheeks and going over her eyes, stopping at her hairline. There were two blue lines on one cheek, like whiskers and there was yellow paint around her eyes, dipping at her nose. There was a yellow dollar sign on her upper arm and her hair was wild with pink highlights in it. Max had on a black leotard like the one from the We R Who We R video, a bullet sash and chains around her. Her stockings were hardly there, having holes in it bigger than George Lopez's head. She had robotic finger things on a couple fingers. Her makeup was dark grey lipstick and super smokey eyeshadow that ended an inch and a half away from her eye. Fang was the most disturbing. He had a skintight black and white zebra striped body suit on and, though it covered most of his body, it was super tight and it might has well been painted on him (god forbid). He had silver and gold rhinestones around his right eye, like sun beams. I stared at them, confused and weirded out.
"IIIIIII AAAAAAAMM CANNIBALLLLLLL!" they yelled at once, and everyone in the library stood up and ripped their clothes, revealing Ke$ha outfits of their own under their clothes. Music started out of nowhere. Fang, Max, and Jab climbed on tables and so did some other people while the other people stood around the tables, like they were going to start a High School Musical moment. I stood motionless, staring at the people around me.
"I have a heart I swear I do," Jab started, hands over her heart. "But just not baby when it comes to you. I get so hungry when you say you love me. Boy, it you know what's good for you." She licked her lips at me.
"I think you're hot. I think you're cool. You're the kind of boy I'd stalk at school. But now that I'm famous, you're up my anus." This was Max
"SO I'M GONNA EAT YOU, FOOL!" everyone screamed at once.
"I eat boys up, breakfast and lunch, then when I'm thirsty, I drink their blood," Jab and Max sang together.
"Carnivor animal," Max said.
"I am a cannibal," Jab added.
"I eat boys up, you better run," Fang, surprisingly, finished.
"IIIII AAAAMMM CANNIBALLLLLL! CANNIBAL, CANNIBAL, I AM!" everyone sung at once. "IIIII AAAAMMM CANNIBALLLLLL! CANNIBAL, CANNIBAL! I'll eat you up! IIIII AAAAMMM CANNIBALLLLLL! CANNIBAL, CANNIBAL, I AM! IIIIII AAAAMMM CANNIBALLLLLL! CANNIBAL, CANNIBAL! I'll eat you up!"
"Whenever you tell me I'm pretty, that's when the hunger really hits me," Fang sang.
"Your little heart goes pitter-patter," Max continued.
"I want your liver on a platter!" Jab finished and then one of the people at fer feet handed her a platter with a human liver on it!
"Use your finger to stir my tea," Max said, and someone gave her a saucer with a tea cup and a finger on it. She nodded in thanks and stirred the tea with the finger and took a sip.
"Then for desert I'll suck your teeth," Fang continued, receiving a bowl of teeth as he sucked blood and marrow out of them.
"Be too sweet and you'll be a goner," Jab smiled, one hand on her hip and licked her fingers clean of the blood from the liver. She'd actually ate it!
"Yup I'll pull a Jefferey Dahmer!" And then the librarian jumped over the desk and chased a few people around with a fork and knife.
"I eat boys up, breakfast and lunch, then when I'm thirsty I drink your blood." Jab snapped her jaws at me.
"Carnivor animal," Jab smirked, making a kitty claw swipe at the air between us.
"I am a cannibal," Max said, wiggling her fingers at some people.
"I eat boys up, you better run." The library went silent, Jab, Fang, and Max baring their teeth and snarling at the people around their tables. And then the music came back on and all singing returned.
"IIIII AAAAMMM CANNIBALLLLLL! CANNIBAL, CANNIBAL, I AM! IIII AAAAMMM CANNIBALLLLLL! CANNIBAL, CANNIBAL! I'll eat you up! IIIII AAAAMMM CANNIBALLLLLL! CANNIBAL, CANNIBAL, I AM! IIIIII AAAAMMM CANNIBALLLLLL! CANNIBAL, CANNIBAL! I'll eat you up!"
"Owowowowowooo. Owowowowowowwoowo. Owowowowowoooo. Owowowowwooo. Owowowowooooo. Owowowooowoo. Owowowowowowooo. Owowowowoowoooo."
"IIIII AAAAMMM CANNIBALLLLLL! CANNIBAL, CANNIBAL, I AM! IIIII AAAAMMM CANNIBALLLLLL! CANNIBAL, CANNIBAL! I'll eat you up! IIIII AAAAMMM CANNIBALLLLLL! CANNIBAL, CANNIBAL, I AM! IIIIII AAAAMMM CANNIBALLLLLL! CANNIBAL, CANNIBAL! I'll eat you up!" Jab chucked as everyone started circling her, Fang, and Max doing a festive dance.
"I love you," she said sweetly to me, chuckling again. Then she sighed and smiled sadly at me. "I warned you." And then she pounced at me, knocking me on my back. Obviouly her puppy side took over because she hovered over me on all fours, licking my cheek and panting like a happy dog, her tongue hanging out of the mouth. Fang hound whistled.
"Come on, Jab!" he called. She looked back, looked back at me, licked my face again, and then ran away, running next to Max and Fang until they disappeared behind a bookcase. I stayed on the ground, staring at the ceiling for a second. When I looked back up, everything was back to normal, except for the slobber on my face.
"Young man, can you please find a chair?" the librarian asked nicely. It was the same one who'd chased people around like Jefferey Dahmer.
"Yes, ma'am," I sighed, going back to the table and wiping my face. What just happened?
"Hey, babe. Sorry we took so long," Jab smiled, walking up and sitting next to me with a pile of books. "I got my hair stuck in the the hand drier. 5 minutes to get it out and 10 more to get my hair in order. Then fifteenmore toget all of these books." She patted the cover of the top book.
"LIAR!" I exclaimed. The librarian shushed me. Jab looked at my with an eyebrow raised.
"Hun, did you hit your head on one of them books?" she asked, checking my forehead.
"No! You all... and Ke$ha... and Jefferey Dahmer... and finger tea. Whaaa-?'
"Okay, babe, sure." She leaned over to Fang and whispered, "Change the computer password."
"There's nothing wrong with me! I know you did it!" I tried to keep my voice down.
"No, of course not." It was obvious she thought something was wrong with me. Was something wrong with me. Maybe I had imagined it all. Oh God, if I was imagining a Ke$ha chours in the library, what if I started imagining a swarm of bees singing U Can't Touch This during the SATs?
"Yeah... maybe I did imagine it. It was so real. Except you were eating someone's liver and the librarian was chasing boys around with forks and knives..." I stopped, seeing the weird looks they were giving me.
"Iggy... I'm pretty sure we would remember that. It seems pretty random, spontanious, and bloody. All of my favorite things." She smiled. "What you reading?" She took the Black History book from me. "This is nice. Thick, but nice. It probably has a lot of the information we need."
"You make it sound like spy work."
"High school is spy work," she smirked. "Now help me findsome stuff about the Civil War in here." She nodded to the stck of books which probably weighed more than her. I smiled and nodded, pretending like I still had a little bit of slobber on my cheek and there was a pink extention still in her hair.