At the bottom of the original post in the comm at LJ, I officially declared requests as OPEN. I'm trying to resuscitate the GS fandom; c'mon, send me a drabble request. Het, slash, crack, gen. I don't care.

Warnings: Crack. No actual porn. Gratuitous use of italics.
Pairings: Felix/Isaac. Jenna/Sheba.
Rating: PG. Language.
Notes: Same prompt as previous. This was supposed to be pre-wedding, dressing room self-hate sex, but it's not because I fail at drama, so it's just crack instead.

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Jenna was taking a lot longer than she should, Felix decided. He made for Isaac's room again. Sheba said they hadn't started on Jenna's hair yet. He laughed to himself. Isaac probably hadn't even put on his suit yet.

Felix waved to Garet and Ivan on the way. They were goofing off by the refreshments table. Felix slipped into the room they had set aside for Isaac.

"Felix!" Isaac spun around, tossing his shirt to the side. Saving the world had done wondrous things to the muscles on his body. Felix resolutely did not stare, meeting Isaac's blue, blue eyes instead. He decided it was not much of an improvement.

Isaac pushed past him to lock the door before grabbing Felix's tie to pull him into a kiss.

"Mmph?" Felix demanded, but Isaac was having none of that. He swiped his tongue across Felix's lips, pressing closer. Felix kissed back. He hated himself for what this might do to his sister if she found out, but gods this was Isaac.

The kiss continued slowly, just lips moving, until Isaac swiped his tongue across Felix's lips again. Felix parted his lips eagerly this time, allowing Isaac closer.

Suddenly, Isaac pulled back. "Fucking Venus!" he cursed. "That's what I was afraid of." He paced, still shirtless and wearing his expensive pants.

"You're not leaving her at the altar," Felix said automatically. He ran a hand through his hair, finding it to be ridiculously messy.

"No," Isaac agreed. "No, no, no. I'm not leaving her to face the altar alone."

"This was a bad idea," Felix told him. "This was the worst possible timing you could have had for this revelation. Ever. You know that, right?"

"I have bad timing?" Isaac replied, stopping mid-step to face Felix with an incredulous stare. "You're the one that didn't tell me you were pining this whole time!"

Felix lifted a hand to rub the bridge of his nose. "Worst. Timing. Ever," he repeated.

"We've just-- I've got to tell her," Isaac said, throwing his hands up in defeat. "I can't just go out and marry her after I have a gay revelation."

"Yes, you can," Felix said. "This was a one-time thing. Just. You can marry Jenna. You can't break her heart like this."

Isaac stormed back to Felix's side. "And what, I can break your heart like this?"

"Keep your voice down," Felix said. "I was completely at peace with this until you-- until a few minutes ago. I can work it out again."

Isaac crossed his arms. "No, this is--this is dishonest, this is... I have to tell her."

A knock from the door behind them startled Felix into motion. He made an attempt to flatten his shirt and fix his hair. It was no use.

"Isaac?" Sheba called. "I know you're in there. Open up."

"Oh, Venus fuck," Isaac hissed. He opened the door.

Sheba slipped by him without an invitation. "Oh, good, you're both here," she said. "Jenna says she wants to call off the wedding because her brother is madly in love with you. Also, we've been sleeping together for weeks."

Isaac paled. "R-really?"

"Well, she didn't want me to say that last part--we were going to leave it out, but since you're obviously recovering, I thought I'd let you know."

"What about Dad?" Felix asked. His parents were not going to appreciate the knowledge that the wedding was going to be called off.

Sheba shrugged. "I said she wanted to call it off, I didn't say she was going to. Anyway, I'm just here to clarify the terms of your marriage."

Sheba showed herself to the door. "Oh, and if either of you show up at the altar looking like sex, she will kill you."

The door clicked shut behind her.