Disclosure:

I do not know the persons in this story nor do I know the true sexual preference of any member of *Big Time Rush. This is all lies, made up, but keeps reading it gets better. This is my first time posting so let me know what you all think. If this is illegal in your area to read about male/male encounters eg... kissing, hugging, sexing then direct your browser to another site or just don't get caught.

From Chapter 1

"Sure we do. We called your house when you were out to notify someone of what was going on, and your mom, a very nice lady by the way, just told us so much about you." Was the giggled answer from James.

'Oh great, he talked to mom, now he probably knows about my first boo boo if she had her way.' I thought.

"Well, we are going back out in the main room. Breakfast will be here in twenty minutes that's enough time to get him up." James stated as he and Logan walked out of the room to leave me with my mouth hanging open. I did not want to wake Carlos. He looked so cute sleeping there.

Chapter 2

'How could I wake this beauty before me?' I thought, with a million ways coming to mind, but I figured a gentle shake and maybe a kiss on the cheek would work. Little to my amusement when I kissed his cheek he rolled onto my chest, and was almost completely on top of me. Now is the time to panic I thought, due to the reminder below my waistline had to let me know. 'Now is not the time to show off my business...' I thought, so I did the only thing I could think of, I shoved him off of me, and hopped out of bed. That definitely worked, because he suddenly jumped up out of bed with his boxers on. He looks at me, then down at himself, then back at me again, and grabs the blanket off the bed. I chuckle at him because we slept that way all night, and now he wants to be modest.

"Breakfast is ready in the main room..." I said. To my surprise, he says thank you, and proceeds to dress in the bathroom and leave the room for food. 'That went well...' I thought to myself. 'Yeah, about as well as a root canal in a dentist office.' I proceeded to dress and headed to the main room to face the firing squad. Much to my surprise, I was met with smiles from all, but Carlos who just set there with his bowl of cereal, and would not look at me. Taking the offered plate, I set down by Kendall and started to nibble at my toast, pushing my eggs from one side of the plate to the other never meeting anyone's gaze, afraid that if I did I would be severally shocked. When Kendall leaned over and whispered in my ear, "What's going on? I thought that you two had hit it off?" My only reply was, "So did I, but I guess I was wrong."

After finishing my toast, due to the fact my stomach was about to flip-flop, I excused myself, thanked everyone including Carlos, and proceeded toward the door. I was startled half way toward the door, when a voice called out to me. "Would you like to go out to the mall with us? We are starting a tradition of going to every mall that we can hit, and buy one thing to remind us of this place?" Logan asked.

"Um well, I don't think that would be a good idea due to the fact I am supposed to take it easy, and I don't really feel like everyone wants me here." As I spoke, all that I could see the look of fear, or was it heartache cross Carlos's face. Then, in a split second he jumped up, and said, "Yes, we ALL are going out to the mall, and you WILL go with us!"

'Who am I to argue with that? Carlos Pena has commanded it, so shall it be...' ran through my head. Everyone proceeded to put their plates on the cart, grab their coats, and we were out of the room and on our way to the rental that would take us to the mall.

On the way down the elevator, I swear I could feel Carlos trying to read my mind as to what I really thought about him. Who was I to kid? I already loved him, and knew that we would never have a chance. Once we reached the parking lot, it was like a circus trying to load all of us in the SUV. I felt like a sideshow, and was waiting for the announcer to say, "Let's hear it for the clowns," but instead, we made it in the truck, and of course I was left sitting next to Carlos. Who to my surprise, held my hand, and made it look as though it was an accident to the rest of the guys, which was obvious to everyone, except, maybe the driver. I was about to move my hand, but I heard Carlos whisper; "Please I need this right now, I'm sorry about earlier."

Well that did it again; I was his to do with whatever he needed. How I can so easily become putty in his hands, I may never know, but I could tell he was dealing with many demons inside, so I just held on and kept my eyes on the road passing by. Shopping with BTR is like a trip to the zoo, everyone knows not to feed the animals, but they do anyway. Yeah, shopping was like a 20 course meal for these guys. I, on the other hand, gave up two hours into the trip, and was in the Build-A-Bear Workshop making a bear to remember the trip by.

As I was picking out the bear I heard a few gasps, and looked around, and there was the gang as I liked to call them, shopping bags on all arms, and looking like they were ready to build one of everything in the store. As I picked up my bear, a store employee approached me and politely asked me to leave the store due to the fact it was closing for the group. As she spoke, James must have overheard her, because he was at my side in a flash. "He's with us," James told her, "and he will not be leaving."

Well that did it my bear now had a name, James. James was what ended up being my polar bears name that I built along with the other four "children" in the store we had a blast stuffing, fluffing, and dressing the animals.

I was surprised to see that Carlos had picked the same bear and the same clothing as mine had on. When we left the store and was back in the SUV Carlos looked at me and said, "The bear I made is named Mischa Lee. Mischa, because if I ever have children my child will be named Mischa, and Lee because I know that's your middle name."

'Great, mom had told them everything about me. Just what I needed, but how sweet was that? I mean come on I could have just melted in the seat then.' Therefore, I did the only thing that felt right, I took his hand, held it, gave him a quick peck on the cheek, and whispered in his ear, "I hope the bear can keep you company on that long road that you will be traveling before you reach home."

Once we were back at the hotel and settled in the room, Carlos took me back to the bedroom and asked me to sit on the bed to talk. When I looked at his face my heart broke, here was the idea of perfection that millions of girls and boys would give anything to be this close to, and he was hurting. I reached over and gathered him into my arms, just before the tears started to flow from his eyes, at first one or two trickled out, then a full out stream in-between sobs I made out the words, "I'm sorry, please forgive me, I want to get to know you better, and have you kiss me."

Ever so slowly, I leaned down to his face, cupped his chin in my hand, and wiped away his tears looking into those red, wet eyes; I gently placed a kiss on his lips to let him know that I was here, and that I cared for him. The kiss was more than that though; it was as if the world stood still. I could feel myself floating away, almost as if a cosmic experience had just happened.

When I broke away from the kiss Carlos looked at me and smiled, not the "I'm Carlos Fucking Pena worship me smile," but the I'm Carlos, and I need someone in my life to help me and love me. Why had my road home all of a sudden taken a dead halt at this crossing, I don't really know, but I know one thing, I will not burn this bridge unless I have to.

Looking into each other's eyes, I felt that all the walls between us were suddenly washed away. We just held each other until one of us must have drifted off because the next thing I felt was a hand on my face gently tracing the outline of my bone structure. As my sleepy eyes opened, Carlos was still here, we were under a blanket, and the lamp was on. "When did you get the blanket on us?" I asked.

"I didn't do it. When I woke up it was on both of us. One of the guys must have done it." He replied.

"Which reminds me, I need to thank the guys for letting us have our space to get to know each other." I said with a smile.

While Carlos and I were asleep in the bedroom, the group was out in the living room having a group discussion about the new guy Carlos had latched onto, which was me.

"Don't you think this is a little quick?" James asked.

"No not really, what Carlos wants Carlos tends to get in the end anyway." Logan answered while chucking.

"Hey, no time for jokes..." James responded. "We seem to like him so far, and anyway, how many people would have done what he did without being paid for it? At the concert he saved all of us from media frenzy by covering up the accident." Kendall added.

"Well, I am going to go check on them, and make sure all is well..." James stated as he began moving from the couch toward the doorway. The sight before him was too much, and he motioned the other guys to come to the door while grabbing the camera. There we were asleep in each other's arms, in the middle of the bed, Carlos on top of my stomach with his head in the bend of my neck. The pictures that they took I am sure were all "Kodak" moments. After the last shot was taken, they preceded to go about there business except for James who covered us up with a blanket. As he moved to shut the door, he whispered, "I hope that this is the one for you Carlos. You have had too many rocky roads; you deserve some happiness in your life."

Ok there it. Chapter 2 has been posted. Tell me what you think. Do you love it, hate it, or want more of it. I am only going to continue this story as long as I have feedback. If the feedback stops then I will stop posting. I want to make sure that it is being enjoyed, but I need some kind of feedback about it. Thanks to the one person who did send me feedback it was really appreciated. I know nothing to make it a "M" rating yet, but it will be in the story soon that is if you all want to see where this goes.