Traitor's pity

"Burglar... Welcome to my kingdom."

Bilbo felt the venom behind those words and his heart skipped a few heart beats before he lifted up his head and saw the mighty, terrifying tyranicall gaze pointed at him.

That powerful gaze eminating from the King under the Mountain was so immense that it send cold chills down his spine. That icy glare that told him just how much the King despised him only stung him right into his already dying heart.

The fear he felt only intensified when Thorin began to descend the steps towards him. Orcrist was in his hand and only murderous intentions were on Thorin´s mind. That much could even Bilbo tell.

The guard undid locks on the cuffs and they fell down. Bilbo noticed Company seated nearby – all of them had grim looks.

"Before I kill you, I will give you a chance to kill me. It´s your only chance to save your miserable hide. Catch."

Thorin threw his Sting towards his feet. He stopped before him in a duel stance. "Get up and fight me." Bilbo stared at his friends – at their faces, then at Sting and finally back at Thorin.

No, he won´t fight him.

He shook his head. Meanwhile Thorin picked up speed and charged at him. "Face me, you coward!"

But- NO! Thorin was charging at him - just like that time he charged against Azog. Kili´s voice found a way inside his head. "DEFEND! YOU HAVE TO DEFEND!"

In the last moment, he gripped the end of Sting and parried Thorin´s blow. However, the force was too strong and it knocked Sting out of his shaky hands.

Thorin stood above him, pointing Orcrist at his chest. "So much for that letter opener of yours. I will make it fair for you – you still have a chance of killing me. Today, I am generous. Here." He threw away his sword. "A fist fight is more to my liking. Get up."

Bilbo shook his head again. NO! He didn´t want this. He didn´t want this. He didn´t WANT THIS!

"A cat got your tongue, traitor? No matter. You shall die soon!"

Bilbo saw Kili leaning from a higher level. "No, Bilbo! Run away! RUN!"

... He cannot run. Who knows what could Thorin do for simple revenge on him? Burn down Shire and kill everyone? Sell them into slavery? Why isn´t there another solution?

Bilbo groaned when he stood up and readied himself. He will lose this fight. Of that he was certain. Thorin´s left hand connected with his jaw and it send him flying. Bilbo heavily panted as he felt as a small trickle of blood made its way down his cheek. He wasn´t ready for this fight. He wasn´t ready to die yet. He didn´t want things to end like this. Thorin killing him. Tears of desperation fell down as well.

Thorin picked him up by his collar. Bilbo gazed at him, sympathy all written over his face. He couldn´t hate Thorin, no matter what he did to him. Banish him, beat him up, torture him – or kill him, he would never blame Thorin for his fate.

Thorin´s features twisted into an angry grimace as he held Bilbo by the throat and began to choke him. "Stop with that look!" Bilbo reopened his eyes and the pity was in them. Thorin grew even more angry. "You! I told you to stop looking at me like that!"

Bilbo´s eyes were now filled with tears – but the pity was still visible along with sympathy and remorse. Thorin´s grip on his throat tightened. "I SAID STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!" And he threw him aside. Bilbo coughed and he had to catch his breath, because Thorin almost choked him to death. "I hate those eyes. I see them everywhere I go. I am alright, I don´t need anyone´s pity – least of all a traitor´s pity!"

Bilbo finally caught his breath. He didn´t even notice that he is under the gold sickness. His nephews on the upper level slumped their heads in defeat. Along with everyone else.

And then he finally spoke up. "I may be a traitor, but I still feel obligated to you. I look at you that way because you are under the gold sickness influence and you want to be freed. That is why you brought me here, didn´t you?"

For the first time, Thorin was at loss at what to say. But the unreasonable hate pushed away all rational thoughts. "You traitor. Trying to distract me so that you could run away?"

Bilbo used his hands to get up and stumbled a bit, but he regained his balance. "No. I won´t run away. I cannot. We still need to settle this. I do not wish to fight you. And I won´t. Kill me."

His friends have finally become vocal. "No! Run away from here!" Balin couldn´t hold it in anymore.

"Bilbo! You have to escape!" Bofur yelled out from the balcony on the upper level.

No, he won´t run. He wiped away his blood. "How do you execute traitors?"

Thorin laughed out. "My, and here I thought you weren´t amusing. So eager to die, are you?"

"I don´t want to hurt anyone. Least of all my friends. Say what you want, Thorin, but you´re still thinking of me as your dear friend. I know it." Bilbo clutched at his fast beating heart. "I value your life more than mine. But above that, I value true companionship. I want you to return back to your old self. And if killing me will help you, then so be it."

"What are you saying, Bilbo?! You cannot sacrifice your life!" Fili screamed.

Thorin gritted his teeth. "Shut up! All of you! If he wants to die, then I will oblige him. So, you were asking about ways on how we execute traitors, burglar? We impale them, throw them inside the depths of Lonely Mountain, leave them in wilderness, drown them or..." He approached the hobbit with a smile unlike any other. "You will be made an example off. Guards." Two dwarves were by his side, ready to receive orders. "Bind his hands against an iron pole."

One of the guards hesitated for a moment and Thorin saw that and glared at him. "Do NOT disobey me, soldier! I am your King here!"

"Y-yes, sir!"

The poor guard did as he was told and soon Bilbo was bound around an iron pole, his wrists tied against the cold metal. Bilbo slumped his head. What is gonna happen as next? Will Thorin really kill him? Why cannot there be another peaceful solution?

The dwarf he tried to rescue from the family madness he succumbed to was now standing before him, glaring at him through his blue eyes. "Tell me, burglar... I heard you came back voluntarily... without putting up any kind of fight. Why?"

Bilbo sneered at him mockingly. "I didn´t have on choice. It was either me or entire Shire. I chose Shire. Certainly you would choose your kingdom and people over yourself, too. If you weren´t consumed by gold sickness, that is."

Thorin narrowed his eyebrows and slapped Bilbo across the face. "Shut up, burglar. I didn´t ask for your opinion. Now, back to your earlier question. The last option of executing someone is beating the other party to death while bound. As I said, you will be made an example of." Bilbo didn´t say anything about his verdict of death. He only had one last question, but he feared he already knew the answer. "Who... will do the act?"

Thorin snickered, his voice full of wicked joy echoing through the vast throne room. "I will do it, of course. I have more than one reason to kill you, burglar."

Bilbo, now totally succumbed to his fate and hung his head, closed his eyes awaiting the first blow with tears flowing down his face. It was all over. All he tried to remedy in hope he would somehow rescue Thorin... it was all gone. Now Thorin will beat him brutally to death. At that thought he started to sob quietly, his countless tears dropping on the stony ground. He was afraid of death and of pain that will surely follow. Beaten to death... how awful. He had absolutely no chance of surviving this. He didn´t want to die by Thorin´s hands... but if he had to die, he´d had one last thing to say to him. Although he knew it will do nothing good and probably it will change nothing or even make it worse. But if he was going to die soon anyway, he should say what has been on his heart for a rather long time.

"Can I say something before you kill me?"

Thorin laughed, but his laughter was empty. "Go ahead. No words can save you, though."

Bilbo lifted his head so that he could look at the dwarf king. "When I finally get the chance after two years to tell you... I feel like I was postponing this moment... and I am sorry."

Thorin tilted his head to the side. " Oh, now that is something unexpected. Are you perhaps sorry that you betrayed me?"

"... In a sense, yes. But I did what I did based solely on my emotions. I was a fool."

Now Thorin grew suspicious and narrowed his eyes. "Explain now, burglar. What do you mean?"

"At first I wanted to save you out of pure respect and adoration. I admired your strenght and unshakable will of steel when you led The Company through the many obstacles we had to overcome. But then... after some time it has all changed. I became more and more influenced by your leadership, personality and ... to put it bluntly... you. It is hard to express myself when I... can´t find words. I... well... I..." Bilbo stuttered. Too many people were present and he was... embarrassed speaking about his most inner feelings. But he had only this one opportunity... and his life hung on a thing thread. He had to say it.

The dwarven king was growing impatient with the self – conscious hobbit and he balled his fists, preparing to strike him.

In that moment, Bilbo closed his eyes, took in as much air as he could and he bawled out loud:

"I LOVE YOU!" as he anticipated the coming dull or sharp pain.

However, the first blow never came. He slowly looked up and met a dwarf, who stared at him with wide eyes. Thorin had glazed look as if he only just begun to perceive the reality and current situation. His eyes have focused on the bound hobbit. And one more thing – he was crying. And then slowly, very slowly as if he had memory loops he started to remember bits of the two last years. And lastly he reminiscenced about the last few months when he sent search parties to Bilbo´s hometown. And what he almost did to him.

Thorin´s eyes widened in realization. He was... free. But at what price? Will Bilbo ever forgive him for his harsh words at the Gate of Erebor? Or how he treated him now after two years? No one would forgive something like that. Not even if the other person was a lover – though for a short period of time, but lover nonetheless.

"I´m ... free." He muttered almost unaudibly. The sheer joy of his statement heated him up like fires in winter. The meaning of freedom and being freed weighed on him as if he has just woken up from a never ending nightmare.

The question was: How could Bilbo ever forgive him? He did inexcusable things to him. He banished him, then had him dragged back to Erebor after two years, thrown him in prison, handled like a criminal of the highest caliber and almost executed him. HOW could he even appeal for Bilbo´s forgiveness?

"Thorin?" Bilbo said in a low voice.

The dwarf king gaped at him under his blue orbs. "Bilbo..." In his look was all that the hobbit needed to see; regret, mortification beyond belief and hints of deep attachment towards him. It all was visible in that one moment. He quickly slashed with his sword and the bindinds around Bilbo´s wrists came undone. Bilbo was exhausted and didn´t have enough energy to stand up properly. He fell directly into the dwarf king´s embrace. "You´re yourself again. I am so happy that you´re back to normal, Thorin."

Thorin picked a strand of stray hair and brushed it away from Bilbo´s tired face. "Yes, I am free. Thanks to you. And I don´t deserve your friendship - and love. I am unworthy of you."

Bilbo put his shaking palm on Thorin´s face. "Do not put yourself down. You are more than worthy. You´re the one I love. I would do anything for you."

The dwarf king swallowed down the big lump in his throat. "But, I tried to kill you! What if my madness returns? What then? Will you save me?"

Bilbo smiled reassuringly. "I will save you as many times as it takes. Because you´ve given a meaning to my life. It was dull and empty before you came into the picture." Thorin felt how something in his chest grew bigger and bigger until it shattered painfully and thawed down. It was his frozen heart. Really, this hobbit was just too much for him to handle. He felt like his heart would rupture. Was it the hole in heart that has been filled? He looked fixedly at Bilbo´s beautiful eyes and their fingers have laced together.

"You are ireplaceable, my azyungal." Thorin said softly. And their lips met in a passionate kiss or more like a slight gentle peck. They wanted to make sure the other was there; that they were reunited. Bilbo couldn´t hold back his tears. After he has nearly lost all his hope... now he was in Thorin´s embrace, where he always wished to be. The feeling was heavenly and serene.

Thorin soothed him and rocked him in his embrace slowly. "Don´t cry. Aren´t you happy that we´re together?"

Bilbo looked up at him as he conjured a tearful smile on his face. "I´m happy. They´re tears of happiness."

From above them, they heard vigorous whistling and clapping. Both have glanced up and saw the Company. Immediatelly they sprung from each other and it was hard to tell who blushed harder – Thorin or Bilbo.

Both the hobbit and king have decided to ignore their spectators and returned to their previous activity, but with more zeal. The sounds from above became even more louder and Thorin signaled with his free hand to Company to scram. He saw how his nephews laughed and he saw tears of joy in Balin´s eyes. Dwalin was snickering a bit, but he tried to stay calm when Ori pulled him along when he was leaving. The look on Dori´s face was murderous. Then Nori and Bofur walked away hand in hand, encouraged with the king´s and hobbit´s open showing of love. Dori´s pulse increased rapidly and he had to be escorted by Bombur, Bifur, Gloin and Oin.

For the moment, they were alone and Thorin was enjoying this precious moment. He will etch it to his memory. Bilbo was however on the verge of expiring and he needed to rest. And maybe a decent meal. He didn´t eat much this past months.

Bilbo ended their kissing and his eyes trailed off. He felt like he was drunk, but worse – his head was spinning around him. "Thorin. I´m in a weak state. My head is spinning on top of it all."

The King under the Mountain picked him up. " Then my love shall get the royal threatment from now on. I´ll bring you to my room."

Bilbo´s face burned up once more and hid his head into Thorin´s sleeve. He was deadly tired and yet the mention of Thorin´s room brought up their nights spent under the open sky, shining moon on Thorin´s coat.

The hobbit let his dwarf carry him all the way to his private chambers.

_;;;_

While Thorin arranged some wood in fireplace to warm up his room, Bilbo was underneath Thorin´s blankets, wrapped in their cozy wool warmness. They smelled of Thorin. Bilbo closed his eyes, waiting for the liberating sleep to swallow his consciousness. But something was missing – his yearning for Thorin´s warmness – to feel it again; he would certainly fall asleep much sooner.

"Thorin?" Bilbo asked, his blush on his cheeks becoming once more apparent. He should be thankful for Thorin´s huge blankets, covering him all the way up, only a small part of his nose and eyes were visible.

The said dwarf turned around and smiled. "Yes, Bilbo?"

Bilbo´s heart felt like it would erupt because of Thorin who was simply too sweet and caring. It would make anyone melt down. "If you could... would you stay here with me? I don´t wanna be alone and plus it´s your bed... and what was I saying?" Bilbo blurted, obviously too much shy to ask directly, but Thorin took a hint.

He came closer to the gigantic bed and bent down so that he was gazing right into Bilbo´s eyes. "Are you asking me to stay here with you?"

Bilbo nodded, still feeling a bit under the weather, but maybe his situation will change soon.

A warm smile lifted the corners of Thorin´s mouth and his blue eyes burned with kind and clearly evident fondness. He climbed under the sheets and cuddled with the hobbit, who let out a sigh filled with content. This was pure bliss for both of them.

Thorin kissed him on the head. "I will stay with you. From now on. Until you grow tired of an old dwarf, that is."

Bilbo burst out into a fit of laughter until he calmed himself down. "I will stay with you... until you grow tired of an old hobbit, that is."

Thorin cackled at Bilbo´s comment. "I see. We are certainly a couple, azyungal."

Bilbo only smiled at that as he snuggled even closer, taking in Thorin´s scent and most of all his warmth that only he could give to him. The warmth of of his heart beating for the hobbit.

"I love you." Bilbo said softly, already feeling how the wings of liberty were indulging him to the land of dreams. Thorin stroked his hair affectionately and Bilbo delved deeper and deeper into slumber. Before his mind completely slipped away he was sure he heard a reply come from Thorin´s lips.

"I love you, too."

AN – This will have probably one or two more chapters. AND I am working on Madness Returns, so bear with me. Midterm tests are coming up at my college next week and I haven´s studied yet... much. Damn it, I wanna go back to high school. I had so much more free time... now I cannot update so frequently as I used to. Anyway, I would love to hear your opinion if this was a complete waste of time or not. If you´d like, review.