A/N: Hey guys, thanks for all the alerts and wow, faves already! Don't forget, reviews are what make writers go on. I only started this story thanks to all the great response.

As always, thanks to my reviewers! I want to put a special note here for Cassymyfavorite: Thank you, dear, for all your long and awesome reviews to this story and remember! I'm glad you like my portrait of Dean. I've put a lot of thoughts into the changes. He had been gone a long time. And symbiotic is really the right word, I should have used it in last chapter!

Enough talk, let's get to the story! (don'tforgettoreview!)

/-/

Sam busied himself around their tiny motel room, examining the few worn books they had. Dean would need to pick up on his reading skills again, especially if Sam really put his new plan into action. The old, worn copy of war and peace he kept in his duffle wasn't exactly the right choice for Dean. Dean would have probably fallen asleep over Tolstoi even before his little trip to purgatory. But Sam also didn't exactly want to get Dean started on one fish, two fish. That sounded a bit extreme - Dean didn't need to learn reading, he just needed to catch up on it again.

Sure, there were still Bobby's old books in that storage locker, but Sam doubted they were the right thing to start either. Most of them weren't even written in english, and the ones that were usually had tiny letters and complicated language. He would just have to think of something. Maybe Dean would like those romance novels that were really just full of porn. Sam grinned at his mental image how younger Dean would give him shit for even suggesting that - but the sad part of Sam's brain told him that old Dean might react differently. Dean hadn't even looked at that waitress today. Did his libido vanish with age, or was Dean just too paranoid to let anyone near him he didn't know? The answer sadly obvious.

Sam sighed and glanced at his brother. It was late, and Dean was currently curled up next to Cas on one of the three beds, both asleep. Sam had no idea why he still picked rooms with three beds when moving from one motel to the next. Dean just needed any security he could get, even if he didn't admit it. They weren't cuddling or anything, they were just constantly keeping each other near. Watching out for each other. And if an arm innocently moved in sleep and landed somewhere on the other, neither of them cared about it next morning.

Sam had to smile. Both grayish heads looked cute and relaxed when they were asleep. They looked so much better now thanks to the little flesh stuffing out their hollow cheeks. It filled out some of their wrinkles, making them look just a bit younger. But they still had a long way to go.

/-/

"Hey Dean, I've been thinking." Sam said next afternoon. He had spent the night and some time in the morning at his computer, searching for good options to start a new home base.

"Ouch." came the immediate response.

"Shut up, Jerk. I think we should get a place."

"You mean a house?" Dean asked, arching his brow.

"Yeah, we can't stay in motel rooms forever." Sam continued. "I mean, let's be honest, Dean. This is already the seventh motel since you came back. It'll be a while until you both are on your feet again."

Dean frowned, crossing his arms. At least he was considering it and not immediately brushing the idea off.

"I believe that is a good idea, Sam." Cas said.

"And well..." Sam continued, a little insecurely since he wasn't sure how Dean would take this idea. "You both have been great with Garth. I thought maybe, if you like, you could man the phones until you get better, just like Bobby. A new hunter home base. It would give you something to do."

Dean still had his arms crossed and stared into the air in front of him, deeply in thought. He looked very uncomfortable, and Sam understood. Of course Dean had issues with it. Dean was still paranoid around people who weren't him or Cas. It had been all to clear last day as Dean flinched at every fast movement in the cafe. Helping out other hunters would mean contact to other people, and no matter how uncomfortable that was for Dean, Sam was sure he needed it. Hunters might me the best option to re-socialise Dean. They weren't the most social bunch, but that might be good since they could relate to Dean's paranoia and probably wouldn't force their presence on him.

"Sam, I don't even remember half the usual hunting stuff." Dean said weakly. It was true, but it was also a lame excuse.

"You'll catch up on that again." Sam offered. "Besides, I'll still be around."

"Dean, your knowledge about the supernatural exceeds that off other hunters." Cas argued. "They would profit greatly from your expertise."

Sam nodded eagerly.

"But the stuff I learned down there..." Dean said. "Would it work here?"

"It should. The creatures don't have their full power in this plane. You will see that most of them are easier to defeat, and that the weaknesses they have in purgatory are much worse here."

Sam swallowed silently. He couldn't even begin to understand how bad it had been in purgatory. They didn't talk about it, and Sam was to respectful to ask. And always when he got little hints like this, he was shocked. Their fight against the monsters on earth was already hard enough. And the monsters didn't even have their full strength here?

Dean stayed silent for a while, thinking.

"You know, we should get a place anyway, just to make things easier." Sam suggested. "You can think this whole advisor business over a little."

"Okay. I'll do that."

Sam nodded. He hadn't expected more right now. It was good that the idea was out there and Dean at least thought about it.

"Cas can stay with us, of course." Sam added as an afterthought.

"Damn right he will." Dean replied matter-of-factly, glaring a little at Sam for making even the slightest implication about Cas not staying.

"By the way, Garth called." Sam added. "He said the trap worked great."

"Good." Dean replied and smiled weakly.

/-/

For some reason unknown to all of them, they ended up in an old house in Sioux Falls. It was at the outskirts of town, just far enough from other people for Dean to be comfortable. Sam briefly wondered why Dean couldn't feel more safe around humans than he did around dark, possibly haunted woods - but Sam knew that too many monsters wore human faces. The not human-looking were just so much easier to spot.

Sheriff Jody Mills commented on their arrival in her town that she didn't know if she should feel safer or endangered by having hunters in town again. But she welcomed them warmly anyway. Dean acted distant, but at least he wasn't as tense as he could have been with Jody standing on their new porch. That was, until Jody tried to hug him. Sam barely managed avoid the next panic attack by intercepting the hug and guiding her away from the house as fast as possible, explaining quietly that Dean needed some room. Jody had the decency not to ask about anything.

Dean eyed the salt lines and devils traps suspiciously that Sam placed all over the house.

"You really think that'll hold of the fuckers?"

"Some of them, yeah." Sam replied. Dean obviously remembered how those safety precautions worked, but he didn't look like he was content with them.

Dean took the spray Sam used for the devils trap and started to draw new symbols in front of the door. Cas watched with an expression that Sam could only describe as proud. The symbols where enochian, of course, and the whole trap looked much more complex than any trap Sam had ever seen before. Sam's devils trap looked like children's finger paint in comparison.

"You need help?" Sam asked, crouching down next to Dean with a new bottle of spray in his hand. Dean was moving slowly and with obvious difficulty, but he was determined and ignored the pain in his old, weak bones. Dean hesitated for a moment and looked at Sam considering. Probably guessing if Sam would only mess up his work.

"Okay, okay." he says finally. "You finish the..." Dean hesitated, searching for the right word.

"Pentagram?" Sam guessed from the straight lines Dean had started drawing.

"Heptagram." Cas supplied.

"Yeah, that." Dean said and started drawing again.

Sam silently got to work, raising questioning brows at Dean from time to time to check if he was doing it right. Dean just nodded and continued to work. Castiel went somewhere different, working on other protection runes. Sam just hoped he didn't use his blood for it. Cas wasn't strong enough for that right now.

Sam had never worked that long on a trap. It was really complex. There was a heptagram in another heptagram in a circle with layers and layers of runes between and around the straight lines. They would need carpets, Sam thought. Big ones. A lot of them.

"And this will work against?" he asked.

"Almost anything." Dean replied. "It has three wards that need to get broken before the whole trap fails. As fuck-proof as I know."

Dean gauged the trap for a moment before he nodded satisfied and tried to stand up. And immediately fell on his ass.

"Jesus, Dean." Sam said a little exasperated and helped Dean up.

"Uh... thanks." Dean just said. It wasn't that Dean was being his usual hard head about things... Dean just forgot his own weakness for a moment. Getting up from the floor was more difficult than standing up from a chair.

"Where's Cas?" Dean asked suddenly, a slight hint of panic in his voice.

"Calm down, he's somewhere in the house." Sam said reassuringly. Of course, the walls between them breaking line of sight would be another thing to make Dean freak. Give it a few days to get used to that, Sam guessed. Dean let go of him and went off to search for Cas a little to fast for Sam's taste. Sam just hoped Dean wouldn't trip. Dean called out Cas' name, followed by the familiar sound of enochian.

Maybe, if they kept this up, he might be able to learn enochian after all, just from guessing what they were saying.

Cas called back from somewhere upstairs. Despite being reassured that Cas hadn't ended up as monster chew toy in the brief time he wasn't on Dean's side, Dean still hurried to get to Cas. Sam followed, just in case.

As it turned out, it was the right decision to follow Dean up. Cas was sitting on a window still, pressing a cloth to his bleeding arm, looking really gray in his face. He swayed a little where he was sitting, nearly doubling over, and his eyelids where trying to drop without his consent.

Sam opened his mouth to tell Cas what an idiot he was, but he was cut of by Dean who bolted over to Cas' side and threw very loud, very harsh sounding enochian words at his friend. Sam went in search for their emergency kit and returned with it as fast as he could.

Dean was still yelling at Cas when he came back. But when Sam dropped next to them with the emergency kit, Dean was immediately silent and helped Sam efficiently with tending Cas.

"The sigils need to be drawn in angel blood." Cas explained weakly. "I thought I could give more."

"I know." Dean replied softly. He tenderly stroked through Cas' grayish bangs with a worried frown. "But you should have warned me."

It wasn't like Dean to calm down that fast, but a lot about him wasn't like Dean these days. Sam was weirdly delighted that Dean got loud at all, just because it was something young Dean would have done. Most of times when Dean panicked, he just closed down and didn't let anyone besides Cas near, going into a protective stance, ready to lash out at anything only remotely threatening. Sam didn't dare to get near when Dean was like that, leaving it to Cas to calm Dean down. Cas was much better at it than him anyway. Hearing Sam's english usually made Dean only panic more.

"We need to be careful about your blood here. We'll milk more for sigils tomorrow, but not more than you can give, okay?" Dean said gently, in a tone of voice tender enough to calm down babies. But the wrongness of the words shrilled loudly in Sam's brain.

"Dean, we can't take any blood from him, he's to weak!" Sam exclaimed in shock. "We can go a while without angel-blood sigils!"

"I'd use my own blood if it helped." Dean replied sharply. "But I'm no angel."

Sam didn't really know what to say. This was just to extreme. Dean's eyes narrowed at Sam's shocked expression.

"I'd never risk Cas' life. But it has to be done." he hissed through his teeth.

And Cas, the stupid angel, would do anything to make Dean feel safe.

"Dean." Sam finally said with the most authority he could muster. "I've managed to keep you both safe so far, right?"

"Yeah."

"And I didn't draw angel blood sigils, right?"

"Yeah..." came more hesitantly. Dean looked like he didn't even think about that.

"And I'll tell you something Dean, and I'm not going to argue this point. No one, except maybe me, is going to bleed in this house. And if this means I have to tie you both down on your bed to keep you from doing it. Am I clear?"

Dean was silent.

"Am I clear?" Sam repeated, dead serious.

"We don't need them?" Dean asked weakly.

"No, we don't." Sam replied matter-of-factly. Dean remained silent for a moment, searching Cas' eyes for reassurance.

"Good." Dean finally said, relieved, and his shoulders slumped as all the built up tension suddenly left his body. Dean still stared at Cas. Cas held his gaze, as always. They both looked so sorry. And yeah, it was out of question that Dean had really wanted to do it at any minute. It was just... Sam didn't even want to know what kind of hard choices they had to take in purgatory. What mare Dean - we're going to find another way Dean - just go with something he so not wanted to do.

Dean took Cas hand, squeezed it and murmured softly in enochian. Cas sighed and averted his gaze, staring irritated at the ceiling.

"What?" Sam inquired.

"Cas thinks it's necessary." Dean replied weakly. He was worried about his friend.

"He wouldn't have done it if he wasn't sure." Dean added, doubt filling his voice again.

"Why?" Sam asked, a bad suspicion slowly forming in him.

"Cas stirred up a lot of shit before we left. They might still be after him."

And Sam understood. Saw it in those blue eyes that still refused to look at them. Cas was troubled. He also had issues. He just managed to hide them better. Plus, he still didn't have the bone carve. Didn't need it as angel. Other Angels might still be out for him. Crowley was still after him. And Crowley was much more resourceful that the average stunt demon. And who knew about the remaining Leviathans that still plotted somewhere in the dark.

"I'll make some hexbags for him. I know they're not as strong as angel magic, but they will work for now."

Dean said something to Cas again. Sam guessed he was making sure Cas would go with that plan. Cas nodded weakly at him, but the angel didn't seem convinced.

"Cas, no blood donations. I mean it." Sam repeated sternly. Cas finally met his gaze and nodded again weakly.

"Okay." Sam said in a way to end this discussion. He pushed Dean carefully to the side to pick Cas up and carry him to his bed. There was no way Cas would run around the house anytime soon. Dean followed and sat down on the bed next to Cas.

"Dean, on a word." Sam said, moving out of the room. Dean hesitated, his gaze shifting between Sam and Cas.

"Just a minute." Sam added more softly. Dean finally nodded. He squeezed Cas shoulder with a last compassionate glance and followed Sam out. Sam closed the door behind them.

"How's Cas holding up?" Sam asked. Dean sighed.

"He'll live, I guess."

"Dean, you know what I'm talking about."

Dean was silent for a moment and leaned against the wall.

"He's having a hard time." Dean finally admitted. "With loosing his mojo 'n all. An', you know, everything..."

Sam frowned. "That's what I feared. Dean, why didn't you tell me?"

Dean shrugged. "What could you do?"

"I don't know." Sam said. "But, Dean, I'm taking care of you both! I gotta now about such things. I'm worried."

Dean didn't reply to that and there was a short pause in their conversation.

"How did he loose his mojo anyway?" Sam asked. Dean got a pained expression.

"'s got to do with getting me out of purgatory. It would have been much easier for him to leave without me, but he didn't. Don't really know how to explain what he did..." Dean trailed off, letting the can't explain it in english hang in the air unvoiced.

"It's okay, Dean. You make sure he's getting okay?" Sam asked.

"Sure." Dean replied with a determined nod. "He doesn't regret it, you know. Just has a hard time dealing with things. But I keep telling him he's not useless!"

"Okay, that's good." Sam replied. "Thanks, Dean."

Dean looked irritated. "For what?"

"Well... looking out for him. I wouldn't know what to tell him."

Dean let out an amused snort. And yeah, it was a kinda stupid thing to say to Dean.

"Now get in there and make him feel better." Sam ordered.

"Aye, sir." Dean teased and moved off the wall. Dean hesitated before he opened the door.

"I'll make sure he doesn't shed another drop."

"Good."

Sam was more than satisfied. Cas couldn't find a more devoted babysitter than Dean. Dean immediately plastered himself to Cas' side and didn't look like he would move from there any time soon.

Before he continued proofing the house, Sam brought Cas some orange juice and sausages he got from a green store. They even looked more healthy than the average sausage. Sam knew he might be paranoid, but he had a reason to pick green food and he wouldn't stop on the assumption that killing Dick cleared all the stores in an instant. It was better food anyway. And Dean wasn't even bitching about it. Not anymore, since... well.

When Sam came up a few hours later to announce dinner, both were asleep, Dean still propped up against the headboard in a way that couldn't be comfortable and Cas curled up close to him. Sam hesitated, but woke them anyway. They needed food. Especially Cas after his blood loss. But Sam allowed them to eat in the bed and brought everything up for them to eat together.

/-/