Weeks had passed since that awful night. Memories still flooded me every time I dreamed. But with each horrible nightmare, it began to harden me. The night I cried with Neville, was my last. I was no longer going to be small. I was no longer going to let things bother me. No feelings. Just fighting. Harry wouldn't lie. Voldemort (might as well say his name if that's who he is) is coming back and there is nothing I can do but fight. This year, I will try as hard as I can to learn more DADA and get good marks on my O.W.L.S. hopefully.

I stare at my ceiling dreading today. We were going to Diagon Alley to get some school supplies. I don't want to interact with people today. A small knock comes on the door and I know it's time to get up. Sliding on some jeans and a sweater rather quickly, I dab on some quick makeup before heading out my door.

Ernie is already ready in a similar, more masculine version of my outfit. "We are going to floo to Seamus' house first and meet everyone there, yeah?" I just nod, grabbing my purse off the loveseat before following him into a green flame.

When I step through the fireplace, I put on a stony expression so everyone knows to not bother me. Neville and Hannah are already there and to my knowledge, we were just waiting on Dean. Glancing at the blonde girl and brunette boy, I feel a pang of hurt before I push it away. Hannah was very awkwardly flirting with the shy Gryffindor.

Pushing the feeling away, I turn and clear my throat as Dean steps in the room by floo as well. At least we can get out of here now so I don't have to stare at those two any longer. "If you guys want to stand and talk, you can. However, I am heading on over now." Neville starts to protest about how I shouldn't be going alone but I just flip him off before shouting my destination and disappearing from the family room.

Fuck him. He acted so sweet to me that night but hadn't talked to me since. Then the next time I see him, he's flirting with another girl. I never thought Neville to be one to play games on other girls. Guess I was wrong. He was the last hope I had. I could die in the impending war now and it wouldn't even matter. I'd at least die for a good cause.

I hustle to get my shopping done. I just wanted out of here. The memories were pressing hard in my mind as I try my best to just push them out. I go to the apothecary and grab my new cauldron along with a few ingredients before going to Florish and Blotts, picking up book after book needed for the year. Piling them high in my arms, I struggle to get to the counter. Two hands manifest from the other side of my books grabbing a few from the top.

When the books are removed, I see a very hurt Neville, "Why did you give me the finger, Amy?" His eyebrows furred together.

I shrug my shoulders then try to put on a nonchalant appearance, "I dunno. I just wanted to shop alone." The anger starts to rise in me again, before I snap at him, "Which you happened to ruin. Thanks. I was doing just fine on my own."

His mouth drops open and his eyes darken a bit from the comment, "Fine. See you in the common room then." He practically throws my books onto the counter and slams the door behind him. The lady behind the counter went to shush him before she realized he was gone.

I finish up my shopping and thought how I don't want to go home. I'll just go see Ginny at the Burrow. I miss her dearly. Finding a place to floo, I go to the Burrow. There is bustling all over the home. I hear Ginny shouting to her mum asking where she had last seen her shoes.

"Gin?" I call out. Thudding can be heard as she comes sprinting down the stairs and engulfs me in a huge hug.

She is grinning very wide and I can tell something is up. "We are going to a party tonight. Last night to party before school." I'm shaking my head furiously. I'd really rather not. "Oh come on now. It will be alright. I won't leave your side all night. And everyone is going. All of my brothers and Harry and 'Mione. Not to mention Dean. Pleaaaaase." She comes close and whispers, "I really want to see Dean, Amy."

I groan but finally agree. "Good. Now. We have to get you changed." I let out another protest but to no avail as she pulls me by the wrist up the crooked staircase. I know she doesn't have a whole lot of options for clothing, but still more than I do. I'm not one for fashion really.

She throws me a rather tight looking dress. The red was very bright and had a slice out right down where the chest was so cleavage was easily seen. She also tosses me so gold stiletto heels. My eyes get wide at the sight of them, "How in bloody hell am I supposed to walk in these, Gin?" She just shakes her head at me and shoos me to the bathroom everyone shares.

Once I'm dressed, I stare at my figure in the mirror. Holy Merlin, I can see the outline of my pants under the dress. I straighten my dark brown hair as quickly as I can and put on gold eye makeup. Though my eyes are just a deep brown, it makes them look like they have sparkles of gold in my eyes.

I am so not ready for this. Ginny comes in dressed in a black dress with a very short skirt and winks at me. "Sexy. Buuuut, you need red lipstick." She dabs it on my lips before grinning, "Much better. Ready?" I sigh in response but she's quite pleased. So we head out. The rest of our party already had left.

When we showed up the entire house was booming. The music was so incredibly loud I could barely hear myself think. Girls and boys everywhere some just talking while others are furiously snogging. Red cups scattered tables and in hands. But then, I spot him across the room, Neville. Of course, I can pick him out of an extremely crowded house party. He's looking at Hannah, you can tell very awkward about the house party. It never really seemed like his thing either. But he had a cup in hand nonetheless.

I'm sure he could feel someone staring because he glanced at me and I averted my eyes. My cheeks have gotten really hot as I realized many guys are staring at my figure. Oh Ginny. What have you gotten me into? Speaking of which, where had she gone? I sigh and head to grab a drink. Might as well forget what is going on.

I quickly chug two cups of some sort of muggle alcoholic drink and decide its best I go outside for some air because I can already feel it getting to warm inside for my liking. I sigh as I open the screen door and slip onto the dimly lit porch. One single light near the door made it difficult to see, but from what I could tell is that there are multiple couples sitting on the porch snogging. My mind flashes to Neville. Damn it. Stop. He's your brother's friend. You should be happy he has someone else so you aren't tempted.

It is actually quite chilly out here in the night air. But I climb down the steps and go sit on a bench swing under a tree. I hear some voices coming in my direction. I'm certain one is Hannah, "Neville, where are you going?" I jump off the bench to hide behind the tree.

Footsteps continue forward and I hear the bench squeak as someone sits down with a sigh. It squeaks again as I can assume that Hannah has followed Neville and sat with him. "Nev," her voice soft, "I-I like you a lot," there is a pause, "And, I know you probably wouldn't want to, but would you like to date me?" She said the ending rather fast.

I sucked in a breath rather quickly. No. He can't. He wouldn't say yes, would he? I wait, along with Hannah, for a response, "You know what? Why not? Sure." Hannah lets out a small squeal as I hear the sounds of a kiss.

I feel my eyes start to sting. I need to get out of here before I make too much noise. But there is no way I can leave without them seeing me.

I make up my mind to pretend to have thrown up. I lean over near the tree, using it for support and make the loudest vomiting noise I can muster while still crying slightly. I then "stumble" past the two completely ignoring them when they state remarks of confusion at me and going on into the house.

Taking off down the hall, I slam the bathroom door behind me. No one will bother me here. I'll just sit in the bath. There is a cup left on the sink. I pick it up and chug it. Open the cabinet up, I grab about five pain pills and take those too. Maybe now the pain will go away in my heart. I then climb into the bathtub and pull the curtain. I close my eyes and let the pills work their magic on me. I wake up about an hour later to hearing a hissing noise. What the hell?

I pull the curtain back to see the back side of Seamus. He's pissing in the toilet. I scream and cover my eyes. My head whooshes from the pills and alcohol in my system. He glances over his shoulder at me, "Hey, Amy." He smirks at me and zips up his pants. He sits down on the floor in front of me. He sighs and sees my distressed look, "I know you like Nev. Don't even deny it." I try to protest but he slides a finger on my lips, "But I have an idea. Granted, this might be the alcohol talkin', but I think it's a pretty darn good plan."

I tilt my head slightly as it swims, "What's the plan?"

He chuckles at me, "We could make him jealous. If he sees you and I goin' upstairs with you wrapped around my waist, he would definitely get jealous."

Under normal circumstances, I might understand this is a bad idea. However, after three strong drinks and some pills, this sounds brilliant. I nod enthusiastically, hoping out of the tub. Stumbling backwards, wagging my finger for him to follow me, I slip out the door, Seamus in tow. I grab him by the collar and crash my lips to his.

His hands land on my hips but travel to my backside and slightly squeeze. Stumbling our way backward, I have an idea. Pulling him to the only empty couch, I rip his shirt open and push him to lie down as I sit on his lap. Everyone around us has their eyes wide open in shock. I glance to see one set of eyes I had hoped would be on me.

Smashing my lips to his again and pretend I'm going to unzip his pants, someone (I think Fred) shouts for us to get a room. Seamus jumps up, swiping me up with him easily. I wrap my legs around his waist and my dress hikes dangerously high.

Scrambling up the stairs, we slide into an empty bedroom, shutting and locking the door. Seamus looks at me from where he sat down on the bed, "You know, if you weren't so in love, and if I weren't such a gentleman," he touches his heart and grins, "I would fuck you senseless."

I laugh lightly. "You should leave a few marks on my neck," wiggling my eyebrows. He happily obliges. After a while, I make my hair a mess and make my dress a little crooked before nodding my head toward the door.

Heading back downstairs, some people are starting to pass out, but I get a wolf call from George and Ginny slaps his arm before rushing to me, "Oh my Merlin! Did you?!" I nod and bite my lip, not from embarrassment but because I was lying. Glancing around I see Hannah asleep on Neville, but he's glaring over at me. I turn away and rub my neck.

Plenty of boys are still staring at me. My head is still spinning from the effects of drugs. I have a new idea, "Who else wants a go?!" Raising my hands in the air, feeling defeated. I'm stumbling over my words and lean into Ginny before she protests that I'm kidding and pushing guys away from me. I feel heavier and heavier as time goes on. Next thing I know, everything is black.