Dean liked sex. He had sex with anyone who would have sex with him: men, women, everything in between. He wasn't picky. But however much he wanted to be open, Dean had to be careful. He knew how it went. "Pick a side!" They said. He didn't seem to fit in with any community.

Dean remembered the day he came out to his dad.

·

"Hey, dad, can I talk to you? It's important" Dean motioned for his dad to sit down.

John raised his eyebrows, sitting in the chair across from Dean. "What's so important?"

"I, um" Dean took a breath. "I have something to tell you"

John sighed. He was beginning to get annoyed. "Spit it out"

"I think I-I'm pansexual?" Dean rushed the words, looking at his feet. After getting no response, he glanced up cautiously, his eyes begging for acceptance. "Well?"

John looked into his son's eyes, seeing he had a decision to make. He made the wrong one. "What the hell is a pansexual? You jack off to kitchenware?"

"No- it actually means-"

"Whatever" John interrupted. "I don't care who you wanna fuck, just keep me out of it" He stood up, pushing his chair our with an awful scraping sound. Dean watched as he stomped out of the room. His footsteps continued through the house, coming to a stop with the slam of the front door.

·

"Hey! Did you hear me?" Dean blinked, coming out of his memory. "You need to restock the register before you leave, got it?"

"Uh sure, yeah" He responded, without really hearing what Jo had said.

Jo sighed. She knew Dean. Hell, she knew almost everything about him, and she knew that her responsibility as one of his best friends was to make sure he was okay. "Dean, look, I get it, but you have to stop letting this happen. Living in the past won't change what happened."

"Yeah, I know" He smiled at Jo. "But I'm good. Really. You can go home. I'll close up."

Jo raised her eyebrows. "You're sure that you're okay?"

Dean let out an exasperated sigh, rolling his eyes teasingly. "Yes, I'm fine."

"Alright then, see you tomorrow." She said, smiling warmly as she left. Dean smiled back, but the smile dropped as soon as she was out of sight.

Dean had tried to forget. He didn't like to remember the bad things, so he tried not to think about them. But when they did come back, when those moments replayed in his head, he couldn't stop them. And with those memories came emotions, emotions he tried to hide for so long.

He took a shuddering breath, trying desperately not to let the emotions take over.

"It's your fault"

Dean suddenly became unstable, his vision blurring as he grabbed a chair for balance. He lowered himself into the chair, squeezing his eyes shut. Taking deep breaths, he slowly opened his eyes. Still feeling shaky, but well enough to walk, Dean made his way around the shop, preparing for the next day. Satisfied that everything was in order, he allowed himself to go home. As he pushed the door open, the bell tinkled, laughing at Dean.

"You can't even be alone for a few minutes without having a mental breakdown?"

Turning back to lock the door, his reflection in the glass seemed to laugh along with the bell.

·

·

·

Dean's eyes snapped open. His eyelids weighed heavily, but he refused sleep. He reached for his coffee cup, finding it empty. Grumbling softly, he pushed himself out of bed. He shuffled past Crowley's door, being careful not to make too much noise. He reached the kitchen and refilled his cup. As he put the coffee pot back in place, a light flicked on behind him. Crap.

"Dean..? What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm getting coffee" Dean explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"No shit" Crowley mumbled, "but why are you getting coffee at 3 am!" He motioned dramatically at the microwave clock.

Dean shrugged in response, shoving past Crowley as he returned to his room.

"Dean... You have to sleep sometime."

"No I don't" Dean shut the door, cutting off his roommate. He took a sip of coffee. He knew it was bad, but he tried not to sleep in the days after his "episodes", as Jo called them. His dreams only came in the form of bad memories for those few days after.

He picked up his phone, smiling sadly at his lock screen. It was a picture of Sammy standing in his new Stanford dorm, grinning ear to ear. Dean had been so proud of him. He'd gotten a full ride scholarship. He never saw Sam anymore. He was always studying, or else he was off with Jessica.

Dean unlocked his phone, opening Instagram. Memes always made him feel better. As he was about to scroll, something caught his eye. A new follow request had popped up. "Castiel (@cas.tiel) wants to follow you". The name looked familiar to Dean, but he couldn't place it. As he clicked on the account, it dawned on him. Dean chuckled. He thought back to that morning, remembering how flustered that kid had been, and how cute Dean thought it was. He looked through the pictures, careful not to like them. (he didn't want to look like a stalker!) The account was fairly new, only going back 6 months. Scrolling to the very first picture, Dean saw it was a close up picture of Castiel's eye. The deep blue color was incredibly vibrant. He smiled softly as he read the caption. "Have a good day! ;)" Dean scrolled back to the top, allowing Cas to follow him, the following Cas in turn.

·

·

·

Castiel's phone buzzed. Putting aside his sketchbook, he picked up the phone, reading the notification at the top of his the screen.

"Dean Winchester (@deannnnnnnn) accepted your follow request"

Buzz.

"Dean Winchester (@deannnnnnnn) started following you"

Author's Note:

Hi! Sorry for the whole wrong uploading thing :( Thanks for reading, I hope u like it so far! Plz comment feedback and stuff!