Bella's messed up world

by KMC1232

Edward pulls me onto his back and sprouts wings. Next thing I know, I'm at Alice's and Edward proposes to me with a peanut. Then Jasper rides in on a very fat unicorn singing, "Da da daaah! My little pony! So fat and so lonely! I love unicorns that hump rocks!" Rated M for language

2. Chapter 2

I don't own Twilight.

Bella POV

Maybe I am dreaming. Yeah! Maybe I am and I'll wake up any moment...any second...I'm still waiting. Yep, I'm still confused about this...now I'm not patient anymore: WAKE UP!

Okay, Okay. Be calm. I can do this.

I walk up to Edward, "Hey, dipshit, how stupid is your brain?"

"Uhhhh...95%."

"Uh-huh. Thats what I thought. Well, wake me up when I'm dead okay?" I say.

"Okay, Bella." he replies.

Later:

"Edward, take me to Wendys so I can get a sub, okay?" He picks me up,"Now, up, up, and away!" I shout.

Edward grows wings and flies up in the air off to Wendy's.

"Next stop: Wendy's." he says.

When we arrive there I order fries, a burger, and a milkshake.

"Now, to the table."

The waiter that gave me my food is a big, fat whale and splashes water all over me.

"Hey, Edward, take me to the fair with my food."

"Okay, hun. The fair is all dark with clowns that have shark faces and snake tails."

I'm eating my food when the grim reaper takes my sandwich.

"What the fuck man?! My sandwich!" I yell, "Edward! Fetch my sandwich!"

"Okay, Bella!"

Edward runs and grabs my sandwich.

"Okay, now bring it back Edward."

"One second,Bella." he says. Then he shits on the ground and wipes hiss ass with my sandwich. "Here you go Bella."

"WTF?! Why would you do that?!"

"It's okay. You can eat my shitwich I made."

What kind of world is this?

"Here, Bella, take this shitwich, okay? Here you go." he says.

"No! I don't want it! Edward, stop! Stop! STOP!"

Then he shoves it in my mouth.

"This tastes like pickles! Why would you do this to me?"

"Because, I love you." He says. "Come on, let's go somewhere else." he says.

"No! I hate you Edward! And this isn't real either! Edward, just take your shitty sandwich and leave." I say loudly.

"But..but...but-I-I don't what I did wrong. I gave you shit, I got your sandwich back, I took you to be humped by a goat, what did I do wrong?" he asks.

"Everything! All of that was wrong! Just leave!" Then he leaves and the grim reaper comes back.

"What the Hell do you want Grim?" I ask.

"I WANT YOUR SOUL!"

Oh shit.

Hope you liked this chapter!

Review!