"Martha, press that button over there!"
"What, this one?" asked a frantic Martha.
"No, no, the other one! That one!"
"Here?"
"Left, left a bit!"
"The blue one!"
"Yes, that one!" He sighed and swept back his spiky hair with a long-fingered hand. "Jesus, for a moment there I thought we were dead! Nice work, my faithful companion!" he added sarcastically. "Oh, that's rude, isn't it?"
"Umm…yeah?" sighed Martha exasperatedly, placed a hand on one hip.
"Hmm…got to stamp that habit…Anyway!" He grinned cheekily. "Let's see where we've landed, shall we?"
"I'm game," replied Martha. "But knowing you, we could be anywhere. You lose control of the TARDIS so often I wonder if you even have a license for the thing."
"Well, you don't really, need one, I mean, not technically speaking…"
"Yeah, but it sure would help sometimes," Martha criticized, raising a dark eyebrow.
"Don't you start…"
"I'm just saying-!" She raised her hands in defense.
"I said don't start!" the Doctor exclaimed.
She sighed and started toward the door. "Alright, alright already!" She placed a brown hand on the fake window and smiled. "So aren't we going to take a look?"
His eyes darkened suddenly and he groaned. "Oh, never mind. You go ahead. I'll just, uh, tidy up the TARDIS."
"When did you get all randomly manic depressive on me, huh? It's been going on for weeks, you know. What, you just not in the mood for exploration today?" She stuck out her lower lip in a pout at her last sentence.
"Nah, it's not that. It's just…" He turned away from her and rumpled the back of his already unkempt hair. "It's just…" he repeated.
Martha let her hand slide from the door and her smile from her face. "It's Rose, isn't it?"
The Doctor whirled around with an agonized, almost horrified expression etched into his hard features. "How did you…how can…when did I…"
"I heard you. In your sleep, I mean. You were muttering something awful…something about a…a Rose, um, Tyler, I think you said. You were…um…screaming, I think. Screaming her name like…like you were dying. Like you were in…well…mortal pain." She shrugged and managed a shaky laugh. "Startled me right ou'ta bed."
"I was…screaming, did you say?" His grief-scarred eyes sought hers, searching for some sort of denial.
Martha twisted her hands together and looked around for something to stare at other than his eyes. "Um, yeah. Screaming for this Rose person. In between the screams, um, you would mutter something like, 'It's my fault she's gone….all my fault…where is she? Where?'" She found a good section of the TARDIS console and fixed her gaze upon that. "And, um, one time it was, 'Don't let me see her…the universe will burn…even Hell will be drowned in flame…' On and on until morning." A small smile crept onto her face. "You're very poetic in your sleep, Doctor."
He gave her a strange look and asked in a monotone, "Was I doing anything else?"
She gave him a fleeting, embarrassed glance and went back to stare avidly at the console. "Um…well…"
"Tell me."
She wrung her sweating hands together. "You were crying. Sobbing, even. I got a handkerchief and wiped your face for you. I, I didn't want you to know, you know. I thought you might not, well, like it."
"Why's that?"
"Well, you don't really show that kind of emotion often, and I thought…"
"That I didn't want to?"
"Well, yeah."
He heaved a sigh and smushed his face in with one hand. "If I had a diary I'd write in it with a black quill…right now…" he muttered.
"Doctor?" asked Martha tentatively.
His response was a sorrowful gaze.
"Um, were you and her…you know…like, together?"
"Yes. Yes, we were. We never gave it a name, but it was there. You could feel it in the air between us, like a drug. We kept breathing it in until we were so far gone…too far to survive when it vanished." His cornered shoulders slumped, and he collapsed onto the floor. "I never had the chance…to say it…the words were poison in my throat…God… what she must think of me now…" he spat through gritted teeth, head in his hands.
She looked at the fallen god and felt tears for him stinging her eyes. He was so vulnerable, so dejected. and it frightened her to see him like this. "Doctor?" she whispered, soft as a cloud. "What happened?"
His head snapped up, eyes burning with fury. "Does it matter? It's over now. We'll never be able to go back to what we were, not now. Forget it ever happened." He grabbed hold of a section of the ship and hoisted himself up. Martha gasped at the seemingly enormous effort it took him. "Now, my dear, why don't you take a peek at the scenery. What's it like?" A familiar beaming face replaced the hopeless one that had been there a second before.
Martha opened the door and stuck her head outside. "It…it's Earth!" she shouted in glee. "We're home again! I guess you're not such a bad driver after all!" She laughed and turned to face him, her ecstasy warming his cold heart(s). "But wait…"
"What?"
Confused, she pulled her head back in and gave him a peculiar look. "What's with all the zeppelins?"
ooooohhhh done with chappy one!!!! HOORAY!!!!!! Are you proud of me??? please review and keep reading!!!! I will update someday!!! I promise!!! On my computer!!!