And everything I can't remember
As it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means
~*~
The wooden chimes played a tentative song, quiet and slow, dancing in time with the wind. Hotohori found tears streaming down his face as he lay in bed, quiet notes drifting to his ears. He remembered.
A young girl, thrown roughly into a situation far beyond her capabilities, escaping them only through her passing.
A street-wise kid bound to the young girl by love willing to do all, even die, for her.
A pretty youth, with large, eyes, warm like the summer, destined to breathe his last breath cold and alone.
A man with a joyful face and sad past, fated to perish in the fight for his country.
A child of the mountains, fiery and passionate above all, preordained to die at his own hand.
A quiet solitary man, caring for everyone until his life force was drained.
A genius child, willing to do anything for his friends, but fatally adamant against betraying them.
A boy emperor, forced to maturity too soon, the lonely reminder that good rules over evil.
but with it's downfall evil takes it's victims
Hotohori rose from his bed, reluctant to relive the deaths of his friends one more time. To remember the harsh cold that resided in his chest. To face the thought of bleak eternity alone.
He walked the halls of his home, his castle, night wind smoothing the hair back from his handsome face. He closed his eyes briefly appreciating the warmth of the night, the scent of cherry blossoms in the air, the black- blue shadow-light of the time just before midnight.
His feet wound their way around the palace, bringing him to the doors of his son's room. Hesitantly, afraid to wake the gentle boy up, he pushed the doors of the room open, taking a quiet step inside.
He walked over to the boy's crib, peaking over the ornate side of it, in at his sleeping son.
The sleeping child had his thumb near his mouth, eyes closed peacefully, head resting gently on his pillow. His body seemed so small in the large crib. Hotohori wondered if he was ever really that small. Reaching in he gently stroked his sons cheek, a smile growing on the emperor's peaceful face.
"Heika?"
Hotohori started, taking his long hand away from the cubby face of Boushin. Twisting his head, mane of hair flowing around his waist, he stared wide eyed at the figure in a previously unseen doorway to his left.
"Who's there?"
"Oh, gomen, Hotohori-sama." The form glided forward towards him. Her face caught in the moonlight, and Reis's gentle smile and quiet eyes beamed at him.
"Oh, Reis. You gave me a bit of a start there." He smiled back at her. "But what are you doing up so late? I'd think you'd want to be asleep in bed by this time."
"I was. Quite often I wake up in the middle of the night and find myself going out to the porch." She gestured back to the door where her room adjoined Boushin's. "I heard you and thought it best to check who was in the Princes room. But now that I see it is you, I suppose you will prefer it if I leave." She turned to go with a smile.
"Wait."
Reis turned, eyes contemplating the emperor.
"Yes, Hotohori-sama?"
"Will, you stay with me?"
If the young woman saw anything odd about Hotohori's request, she said nothing about it. Walking back to his side, she laid her hand gently on top of his, looking down at the small child in the bed.
"If I may your highness?"
"Yes, Reis?"
"Why have you been crying?" She glanced up at him, eyes serene. "I don't mean to pry, but it is sometimes better if you talk about what troubles you."
Hotohori pulled his hand from hers, and walked over to the window. Looking out he sighed, closing his eyes.
"I miss them Reis." He said simply. Continuing, he elaborated, "The miko. The seishi. My wife. So much from those days was lost upon the final decline of Kutou. So much innocence and beauty. So much good. I feel it everyday, but sometimes it comes to me strongly. My world is declining, Reis. It was so pure when I was a child. No trickery, no stabbing men in the back. As I grew older, it seemed to happen more and more often. Honor was lost. Honor…I used to believe in the word. Now… I don't know if it's so much a truth as an abstract concept that can never be fully realized." He turned to her, backlit by the full moon, seeming ethereal in the glow. "The world is so full of trickery, Reis. It's so difficult to live with a clear conscious. I've killed, Reis. I've taken the lives of men with my own hands. I've taken away the beliefs of families. I've destroyed homes. I always swore to myself that I'd always fight for good, for the right of the people. But is any fighting good? Is there any way to justify murder? My soul is sullied, impure. But… would it have been better if I had never killed at all? Would it have been wiser for me to let Kutou take over my lands, allow them to oppress and kill my people? The Right is too hard to see in life. It is too complicated, too unsure for me to be certain what the right decision would have been. What decision would have been right for my people. I was so greedy, so childish in my ways of thinking. I was still a boy when I was expected to be a man." Hotohori sighed, melancholy washing over him.
"You can never be sure what the right choice is, Hotohori-sama. Life is too entangled for anyone to realize what the right decision is. If you had waited 5 years, 10 years, even 20, I doubt you would still know the right decision to make. Decisions the fate an entire people can never be made perfectly. Someone always gets hurt, always gets slighted. It's no use mourning the death of them all now. Your people will always exalt you as their emperor, the gods chosen one." She walked over to him, taking his hands once again, causing him to look at her, so she could emphasize what she was about to say.
"They will always love you. You could have made different decisions along the way, but you made the right one for them. Because of your decisions in your life, your country lives and thrives today. And your people will always be grateful to you for that."
Hotohori seemed to think on this, looking back out the window. Apparently coming to a decision, he turned back to Reis where she stood at his left.
"Thank you, Reis."
Hotohori lay a hand on the side of her face, and she smiled up at him.
"Your welcome, Hotohori-sama."
~*~
Work ruled Hotohori's life for the next weeks. Their was so much to be done it was unbelievable. From sunup to long after sundown there was incredible amounts of wok to do, and Hotohori was unable to brush things off as casually as he had done when he was younger. Life was difficult now, and he felt the pain of his people. He had to find a way to decrease the poverty and suffering in his kingdom, now. He had to get rid of the crime in the back streets of the capital, and the disease in Tamahome's old town, now. So much needed to be done, Hotohori doubted he could ever finish it all in one lifetime.
"Of course you can't finish it all now." Reasoned Reis, as he spent one of few free hours in Boushin and Reis's rooms. "You can never perfect something. But you can come as close as you can to it. You are trying to change problems we've had for years, centuries, even. Life is difficult. Besides," she said, lighting a small candle beside Hotohori's chair. He watched as the light bounced and flickered, illuminating her beautiful face, "It's the small changes you make that really count. Visiting your son more is very important to him. He appreciates it." She stood up and picked up the smiling baby from the crib. "And Konan will appreciate it when he becomes their emperor, and rules justly." She smiled back at the Prince, and sat him on Hotohori's lap, from where he beamed up at his father. Boushin reached out and grabbed a lock of Hotohori's hair. Leaning against the Kings chest, Boushin played with the lock, smiling quietly to himself.
"I doubt I'll ever be as good with him as you are, Reis." He looked up at her, praise in his eyes. "I want to thank you, for being there for my son."
"Oh, it's no problem, Heika. I grew up in a large family, and always wanted children of my own. But-" she smiled, holding her hands out to the side. "I never found the right person."
He looked at her thoughtfully for a minute before looking back down at the child in his lap.
"I'm sure you will someday, Reis. I'm sure you will."
~*~
As it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means
~*~
The wooden chimes played a tentative song, quiet and slow, dancing in time with the wind. Hotohori found tears streaming down his face as he lay in bed, quiet notes drifting to his ears. He remembered.
A young girl, thrown roughly into a situation far beyond her capabilities, escaping them only through her passing.
A street-wise kid bound to the young girl by love willing to do all, even die, for her.
A pretty youth, with large, eyes, warm like the summer, destined to breathe his last breath cold and alone.
A man with a joyful face and sad past, fated to perish in the fight for his country.
A child of the mountains, fiery and passionate above all, preordained to die at his own hand.
A quiet solitary man, caring for everyone until his life force was drained.
A genius child, willing to do anything for his friends, but fatally adamant against betraying them.
A boy emperor, forced to maturity too soon, the lonely reminder that good rules over evil.
but with it's downfall evil takes it's victims
Hotohori rose from his bed, reluctant to relive the deaths of his friends one more time. To remember the harsh cold that resided in his chest. To face the thought of bleak eternity alone.
He walked the halls of his home, his castle, night wind smoothing the hair back from his handsome face. He closed his eyes briefly appreciating the warmth of the night, the scent of cherry blossoms in the air, the black- blue shadow-light of the time just before midnight.
His feet wound their way around the palace, bringing him to the doors of his son's room. Hesitantly, afraid to wake the gentle boy up, he pushed the doors of the room open, taking a quiet step inside.
He walked over to the boy's crib, peaking over the ornate side of it, in at his sleeping son.
The sleeping child had his thumb near his mouth, eyes closed peacefully, head resting gently on his pillow. His body seemed so small in the large crib. Hotohori wondered if he was ever really that small. Reaching in he gently stroked his sons cheek, a smile growing on the emperor's peaceful face.
"Heika?"
Hotohori started, taking his long hand away from the cubby face of Boushin. Twisting his head, mane of hair flowing around his waist, he stared wide eyed at the figure in a previously unseen doorway to his left.
"Who's there?"
"Oh, gomen, Hotohori-sama." The form glided forward towards him. Her face caught in the moonlight, and Reis's gentle smile and quiet eyes beamed at him.
"Oh, Reis. You gave me a bit of a start there." He smiled back at her. "But what are you doing up so late? I'd think you'd want to be asleep in bed by this time."
"I was. Quite often I wake up in the middle of the night and find myself going out to the porch." She gestured back to the door where her room adjoined Boushin's. "I heard you and thought it best to check who was in the Princes room. But now that I see it is you, I suppose you will prefer it if I leave." She turned to go with a smile.
"Wait."
Reis turned, eyes contemplating the emperor.
"Yes, Hotohori-sama?"
"Will, you stay with me?"
If the young woman saw anything odd about Hotohori's request, she said nothing about it. Walking back to his side, she laid her hand gently on top of his, looking down at the small child in the bed.
"If I may your highness?"
"Yes, Reis?"
"Why have you been crying?" She glanced up at him, eyes serene. "I don't mean to pry, but it is sometimes better if you talk about what troubles you."
Hotohori pulled his hand from hers, and walked over to the window. Looking out he sighed, closing his eyes.
"I miss them Reis." He said simply. Continuing, he elaborated, "The miko. The seishi. My wife. So much from those days was lost upon the final decline of Kutou. So much innocence and beauty. So much good. I feel it everyday, but sometimes it comes to me strongly. My world is declining, Reis. It was so pure when I was a child. No trickery, no stabbing men in the back. As I grew older, it seemed to happen more and more often. Honor was lost. Honor…I used to believe in the word. Now… I don't know if it's so much a truth as an abstract concept that can never be fully realized." He turned to her, backlit by the full moon, seeming ethereal in the glow. "The world is so full of trickery, Reis. It's so difficult to live with a clear conscious. I've killed, Reis. I've taken the lives of men with my own hands. I've taken away the beliefs of families. I've destroyed homes. I always swore to myself that I'd always fight for good, for the right of the people. But is any fighting good? Is there any way to justify murder? My soul is sullied, impure. But… would it have been better if I had never killed at all? Would it have been wiser for me to let Kutou take over my lands, allow them to oppress and kill my people? The Right is too hard to see in life. It is too complicated, too unsure for me to be certain what the right decision would have been. What decision would have been right for my people. I was so greedy, so childish in my ways of thinking. I was still a boy when I was expected to be a man." Hotohori sighed, melancholy washing over him.
"You can never be sure what the right choice is, Hotohori-sama. Life is too entangled for anyone to realize what the right decision is. If you had waited 5 years, 10 years, even 20, I doubt you would still know the right decision to make. Decisions the fate an entire people can never be made perfectly. Someone always gets hurt, always gets slighted. It's no use mourning the death of them all now. Your people will always exalt you as their emperor, the gods chosen one." She walked over to him, taking his hands once again, causing him to look at her, so she could emphasize what she was about to say.
"They will always love you. You could have made different decisions along the way, but you made the right one for them. Because of your decisions in your life, your country lives and thrives today. And your people will always be grateful to you for that."
Hotohori seemed to think on this, looking back out the window. Apparently coming to a decision, he turned back to Reis where she stood at his left.
"Thank you, Reis."
Hotohori lay a hand on the side of her face, and she smiled up at him.
"Your welcome, Hotohori-sama."
~*~
Work ruled Hotohori's life for the next weeks. Their was so much to be done it was unbelievable. From sunup to long after sundown there was incredible amounts of wok to do, and Hotohori was unable to brush things off as casually as he had done when he was younger. Life was difficult now, and he felt the pain of his people. He had to find a way to decrease the poverty and suffering in his kingdom, now. He had to get rid of the crime in the back streets of the capital, and the disease in Tamahome's old town, now. So much needed to be done, Hotohori doubted he could ever finish it all in one lifetime.
"Of course you can't finish it all now." Reasoned Reis, as he spent one of few free hours in Boushin and Reis's rooms. "You can never perfect something. But you can come as close as you can to it. You are trying to change problems we've had for years, centuries, even. Life is difficult. Besides," she said, lighting a small candle beside Hotohori's chair. He watched as the light bounced and flickered, illuminating her beautiful face, "It's the small changes you make that really count. Visiting your son more is very important to him. He appreciates it." She stood up and picked up the smiling baby from the crib. "And Konan will appreciate it when he becomes their emperor, and rules justly." She smiled back at the Prince, and sat him on Hotohori's lap, from where he beamed up at his father. Boushin reached out and grabbed a lock of Hotohori's hair. Leaning against the Kings chest, Boushin played with the lock, smiling quietly to himself.
"I doubt I'll ever be as good with him as you are, Reis." He looked up at her, praise in his eyes. "I want to thank you, for being there for my son."
"Oh, it's no problem, Heika. I grew up in a large family, and always wanted children of my own. But-" she smiled, holding her hands out to the side. "I never found the right person."
He looked at her thoughtfully for a minute before looking back down at the child in his lap.
"I'm sure you will someday, Reis. I'm sure you will."
~*~