Chapter 2: Koizumi explains everything

Getting up early did not go well with me, it was 6:00 and the sun didn't even think about getting up at this time. Though I tried to dismiss last night as a dream I certainly did not want to risk 'Termination'.

After a shower, brush & floss, and putting clothes on it was entering the kitchen that signified with out a doubt in my mind I had traded places with someone else's life.

You see I forgot to mention this earlier because it didn't seem important but in the Haruhi-less universe I live on I also had no siblings, and my parents had divorced by the time I was in the 7th grade. This was undeniable proof of the strangeness going on, forgetting classmates is one thing but your little sis?

My sister looked at me and began to cry 'she' was the girl on the phone. Awesome...

"What was wrong with you yesterday Kyon? Frightening your sister like that when we let her use our phone." I couldn't even focus at my mother chewing me out because frankly everyone seemed to be against me and instead focused on getting to the Literature club. Now I'm up early without breakfast. Yeah, yeah these shouldn't be the things I'm worried about I know.

I trekked the hill with quick pace hoping to get some answers,. Who are all these people? What am I doing that is turning everyone against me? How can I get things back to normal, for me at least.

I made it to the Literature club, or it was the Literature club anyway from my world . There sat the members of the SOS brigade, to my surprise, and joy. Three people I seemingly knew yet did not know. Yuki Nagato I picked out first in the back, my bedroom intruder. To the desk were Koizumi whose naturally smiling expression annoyed as soon as it no doubt did to Kyon 1, followed by the beautiful Mikuru Asahina, and might my male hormones just say, and this is totally not me Daaaaaaamn!

The three of them began to look at me, observe me, it didn't take long to plainly see I couldn't recognize anyone of them. I was then gestured to take the empty seat.

"We know that you are not Kyon, or the Kyon of our reality. So if you would let me explain some things" Go right ahead Koizumi, I'm all ears.

"Could I just ask what you would happen to know about how you might have ended up here?"

"Well I can't tell when or how I came to be in this world, but it became clear right around seeing my little sister, and not knowing who she even was."

Koizumi rubs his chin and hums, the intergalactic 'I'm thinking' sign followed by saying under his breath "Interesting". And after gathering his thoughts on that for a moment he finally got to filling me in on all this missing history I have with Haruhi.

"Well, well where should I begin?" I feel like I'm in class, maybe there's a test on this at the end, I'll grab my pen.

"The SOS brigade or 'Saving the world by Overloading it with fun ; the Suzumiya Haruhi brigade..." Wait hold on my pen is dry, saving the fun? Over-lording Suzumiya brigade? Damnit...

"Was created by Haruhi, inspired by you, or Kyon 1 sorry. To search for aliens, time travelers, and espers. But underneath this after school curricular activity is another purpose hidden from Suzumiya. You see Haruhi isn't exactly your normal high school girl" Oh really? I think I'm gonna need to lay down after hearing that one.

"She has the ability to alter reality as we know it." If I was drinking something I would have spit it on his face. She can alter reality and hasn't?

"Though her powers are for the time being unknown to her, the sheer willpower and belief of aliens, time travelers, and espers have made them a reality. Actually there are 3 in this room right now. I am the Esper, and no I cannot read your mind but I didn't have to in order to know you'd ask that." Ha ha I'm not that stupid, the other Kyon just said the same thing when he found out.

"Mikuru is our time traveler." No way, looks like that are impossible for any human girl, then again genetics in the future must be pretty kick-ass.

"And Yuki the alien. Or thought-data construct but that's not important for the amount of time we have right now."

"Now, why we are in this club is that if Haruhi is not happy with the world around her, her mind will come up with ways to change it. Your last interaction with her not to mention not showing up for yesterday's meeting did not make her happy, and means a lot of work containing it for our organization." How many more times and ways can I say that it's not my fault?

"Before we can even figure out the reason why you are in this reality and how you can leave so we may bring back this world's Kyon. We have to prevent any further damage of your absence and behaviour in asking you to resume the position of Kyon for the time being." You know Koizumi it's not exactly asking someone if you mention that by saying no you are essentially destroying the universe.

"Haruhi is going to know he's not me, or I he. I mean it won't work."

"Actually I say that from not just your looks, but your composure, and even responses save for anything that has to deal with past events you make a very convincing Kyon" They all seemed to agree, even Yuki nodded though considering the stakes and how my first encounter with Haruhi went I was less than enthused.

"Where did this world's Kyon go anyway?" A smart topic change, could I expect a Kyon wrecking the nice Haruhi free set up in my dimension? Could have Haruhi deleted him from existence as I've now been told she can do. Yuki stood up for the first time this conversation began.

"In the event when you breached our universe, the Data Thought Entity initiated the emergency protocol to create a space were we stop time to put our world's Kyon in to prevent any displacement of him from the Universe to combat the arrival of your's, It would have been simpler to delete your existence before the transportation of your being into our reality however the Data Thought Entity believes that it would be beneficial to learn from this exchange." You mean at any point where this 'Data Thought Entity' considers me too much trouble in this reality it's just poof? What if the exchange is no benefit to it after the effort. Oh dear I've gone cross-eyed.

"So you or your Data Entity has no ethical qualms about killing me to bring back the original Kyon?" I didn't get a response. She didn't want to say no, but I have a feeling that she isn't entirely in control of a decision like that despite her own, if any moral issues. I better just strive to give Haruhi and this Data Thought Entity what they want. Oh man.

"Uh-oh" Uh-oh? Mikuru who was awful silent this entire time. She was looking at her watch distressed, as a time traveler would often do cutely however. "It's a message from my superiors- I mean! Uh its classified". And the White rabbit left the clubroom to attend the tea party with... I dunno where I'm going with this either.

There wasn't much time after that until the rest of us cleared the clubroom and it was back to *sigh* class...

I stand in front of the door hesitant to slide it open, I know what's going to happen.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! My ear!"

"You remember me now? Huh?" When has this ever jogged a memory?

"Yes! Let go! Aaaaah!"

"I'm gonna teach you something you won't forget so easily next time!" No doubt every Kyon in the multiverse will see this and know terror the next time they cross a Haruhi whatever plane.

My ear left on a thread of a tendon we could all resume back to a wonderful day of class. The whole class was silent, the teacher, who by the way watched the whole event unfold wouldn't even make a glance to this corner of the room.

Haruhi said that in order for me to realize who was in charge, which was basically revealed to everyone in the whole prefect was an indefinite time of 'Slavery' not my words this time, exactly how she put it.

The terms were as follows. Number 1. Whenever addressing Haruhi I must refer to her as "Master". And as "Master" she is entitled to demand anything from me. If she says hold this ice and don't let it melt it better damn not melt. Failure to do such is penalty

Number 2. Haruhi must be picked up from, and to whatever location she desires by Rickshaw. I don't know where she got one I heard she can just make these things appear sometimes. This then means on school days I always have to leave early my place to arrive early at her place, to get to school just before bell watch her go, lock up the Rickshaw and arrive at class late. That hill puts a damper on things as well, If I do anything to stop my slow strenuous pull up the mountain she will take me all the way down. Failure to do such is penalty.

Number 3 I am to assume the duties of any brigade member missing, and wouldn't you know it Mikuru was missing the first day for her time travelers thing. Failure to do such is... *sobs heavily*

"Kyon you look so pretty, Don't you?" Don't look at me damn you.

"Miss Suzumiya... you could at least" At least what Koizumi? Put a bow in my hair? You're really helping me out here you smiling bastard. Let's hear it now, come on. Say it. "You could at least warn me and Miss Nagato before undressing him like that..." Naniiiiiii?

Mikuru returned some time later that afternoon when Suzumiya stepped out, can I take this off now? Please no more of this...

"Kyaaa!" This is what happens when cute girls get close to you Kyon they put Women's clothing on you then bring the one girl you dreamed of having gorgeous future children with to see you wearing her outfits. And while known to be weak and defenceless around Haruhi Suzumiya she got a few good kicks in before she understood this was Not some sick pleasure, well not my sick pleasure.

"Everyone leave the room now!"

"I wouldn't want Haruhi to catch you-"

"Now..."

I now see without a doubt I am not in the world I was two days ago. I would never have forgotten sisters, joined a club that is as weird and pointless as Haruhi's, been sold into slavery, know that at any moment I displease the god child I could be sent away to the corn field, worn women's clothing, and now... a talking cat.

"Surely this isn't any weirder than the last thing." You're about to lose one of those lives

Author's note. This is the chapter I really did not want to write, the explaining things chapter, But I figured out if I could somehow get Kyon in a dress this would turn out good. :P